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why do i fall in love with every girl who is at least a little bit nice or a little bit cute or both...

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Aug 11, 2019 11:30 PM
#1

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Sep 2014
3353
starting imaging our whole life together..growing old...being married...living in a house...what our story will be...having a dog or cat.....

is this a male gender issure...human issue...mental illness perhaps? why do i fall so hard so fast....
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Aug 11, 2019 11:50 PM
#2

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Oct 2018
907
Sounds like a you problem.
Maybe you've been alone for so long that you're susceptible to fall for anyone?
I mean, the best way to combat those fantasies that only increase the pain of your everlasting loneliness, is to go for one of these 'cute nice girls' that you seemingly fall for.

As far as the whole 'I wanna have a family right now' attitude, might wanna tone that down. I can't imagine that's an attractive quality to have right off the bat. Most people ain't looking for that type of intimacy after the first date. But of course, you need to get that 'first date', so do that.




i'm a worm
Aug 11, 2019 11:54 PM
#3

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Oct 2015
525
Sounds like you are just very lonely and need someone to talk to. I also agree with the post above talking about toning down the "family dream" part. It scares girls away and some just find it unattractive and desperate
Aug 11, 2019 11:54 PM
#4

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Apr 2019
1015
Sounds like infatuation. You're inlove with the idea of being inlove, doing romantic things with them, and not the person itself.
Because you need to know everything about a person and love them for who they are, for you to truly be inlove.

No it is not a gender issue or illness, most people become infatuated at some point in their lives.
-ShinzoAug 11, 2019 11:58 PM







Aug 12, 2019 12:05 AM
#5
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Jul 2018
564612
I'd say, level up your standards, otherwise...you'll always find yourself "Stepping on the same rake" throughout your life, over & over.
Aug 12, 2019 12:05 AM
#6

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Jun 2017
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AnimeFreak-San said:
starting imaging our whole life together..growing old...being married...living in a house...what our story will be...having a dog or cat.....


that's sounds like a very typical case of the mentally detrimental disease known as "loving in love", might wanna get that checked out before you start talking to these ... girls
Aug 12, 2019 12:21 AM
#7
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Mar 2018
738
just beat ur meat and get that post nut clarity. then you will see more clearly
Aug 12, 2019 3:01 AM
#8

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May 2014
3362
You have quite the imagination there. I'd only think about that stuff AFTER i'm in a relationship. Just sounds like you fall in love way too easily. Nothing wrong with that though, you can't help feeling the way you do. Just don't tell a girl you've just met that you've already thought of the names of your children together. It might turn her off just a little.
Aug 12, 2019 3:12 AM
#9

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Jan 2009
92493
Sexual overperception occurs when a type I error is committed by an individual. Under this type error, the individual falsely concludes that the member of the opposite sex has a sexual interest in the individual.[5] Males are more likely than females to commit sexual overperception bias, as evidenced by previous research.[5] Findings have found that men overestimate women's sexual interest while women tend to underestimate men's interest.[5] This is likely due to the fact that the reproductive costs of sexual underperception are greater for men than the risk of making false positives.[5] Men who perceive themselves as especially high in mate value are especially prone to experiencing this phenomenon. In addition, men who are also more inclined to pursue a short term mating strategy exhibit a more prominent case of sexual overperception bias.[6]:334 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Error_management_theory#Males

that might explain it especially if you consider yourself husbando material
Aug 12, 2019 3:28 AM

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Feb 2017
2133
i was like that when i was 17-19. i think your fine, just socialize a bit more. And why dont u just talk to the girl you like?

Aug 12, 2019 4:59 AM

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Dec 2016
2053
op you're lonely. you're not falling in love with these poeple, you're just projecting your dreams onto them.
AnimeFreak-San said:
is this a male gender issure...human issue...mental illness perhaps?
Aug 12, 2019 9:28 AM
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Jul 2018
564612
How long have you been experiencing these symptoms?
Did you get enough attention from your parents?
I can imagine that it can be related to neglect in infancy or childhood but I am not a specialist so I can’t say for sure.


HotPocketChris said:
just beat ur meat and get that post nut clarity. then you will see more clearly

Isn’t it the opposite? Don’t men become weak, sleepy and lose focus afte that?
Aug 12, 2019 9:43 AM

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Jul 2015
2841
getting infatuated really quickly is THE telltale sign that you're an inexperienced, awkward turbo-virgin.

Better go and fix that, then it'll go away.
"my life at this state could be transposed into a pretty massive biography"

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Aug 12, 2019 9:53 AM

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Jul 2015
12542
Because you don't know what actual love is yet and think with your penis?
Aug 12, 2019 10:40 AM
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Jul 2018
564612
Because you're desperate. So am I but I've learned to block out those naive feelings. Just harmful and fucking delusional. It hurts more than it helps.
Aug 12, 2019 11:05 AM

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Apr 2016
1108
Being honest with you, I think it's because you're desperate. And maybe you haven't had that affection yet either, and you automatically seek it with everyone that comes in your path. You don't have a lot of options or experience with women, so you're just desperate for anything that comes your way.
Aug 12, 2019 11:06 AM

Online
Jul 2016
8816
HungryForQuality said:
Because you're desperate. So am I but I've learned to block out those naive feelings. Just harmful and fucking delusional. It hurts more than it helps.

Everyone should be willing to hook up with everyone that likes them. I am.
Aug 12, 2019 12:19 PM
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Jul 2018
564612
There's nothing seemingly wrong with those feelings. Those feelings just affirm that you take pride and are both mentally and emotionally prepared to make your side in that lifestyle happen. I mean, after all, it is technically normal to get married and settle down with a family and such.

I on the other hand lack these feelings. I've long since gave up on falling for a young woman my age, because I just don't feel like I know what it's like to feel intimate-romantic feelings.
Aug 12, 2019 12:26 PM

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Aug 2014
4299
You just need to get better used to the opposite sex. Befriend enough of them and you won't have these awkward fantasies so often.
Aug 12, 2019 12:34 PM

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Nov 2017
4622
Probably just your basic lack of confidence and self-esteem which makes for starving for affection and affirmation from others (in this case, women)
Aug 12, 2019 7:26 PM

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Oct 2010
3283
sounds normal

anyone telling u this isn't normal is lying or not single

rip for all the bruddas born in with the gender that's here to suffer , cause that's what it is to be a male in 21th century. Suffering.

lots of music -
Aug 12, 2019 7:34 PM
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Mar 2018
738
Zvera said:
How long have you been experiencing these symptoms?
Did you get enough attention from your parents?
I can imagine that it can be related to neglect in infancy or childhood but I am not a specialist so I can’t say for sure.


HotPocketChris said:
just beat ur meat and get that post nut clarity. then you will see more clearly

Isn’t it the opposite? Don’t men become weak, sleepy and lose focus afte that?


i mean, you get a sense of clear mindedness for a while but itll all come back later. the real solution is no nut november
Aug 12, 2019 8:09 PM
Cat Hater

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Feb 2017
8665
There is nothing wrong with picturing a potential relationship in your head with girls that you are interested in. You are just having a crush on them though. I wouldn't call it love yet.
Aug 12, 2019 8:20 PM

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Oct 2012
15987
Because you're thirsty as shit. Get some self esteem, find something to do for yourself that you're proud of. Being shallow and thirsty, not thinking with the big head, are negative traits that decrease your chance of success. They're like quicksand. The less girls you get, you more you give into them -- but don't!
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Aug 12, 2019 8:22 PM

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Nov 2011
14558
Because you are desperate and have no experience in being friend with a girl.

Aug 12, 2019 8:31 PM

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Feb 2019
234
You can’t really love someone after looking at them once. I’m assuming what you’re doing is giving them the personality and attributes of what you want your future significant other to have, and like you said, imagining a future with them. You’re doing this since they fulfilled one the key requirements of what your future partner needs to have which is, of course, good looks.


What you really need to do is attempt to find a partner. So instead of fantasizing about doing things with every girl you see, you can actually fulfill these fantasies with them.
To judge others by your own standard is the height of folly.
Aug 12, 2019 8:39 PM

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Oct 2010
3283
-Frost- said:
You can’t really love someone after looking at them once.


love isn't a fixed thing

that means you can love them at first sight and change after getting to know them more.
If love was a fixed thing (which it can't be but thats why the IF) then id still have people that love me 0w0. Also people would probably use different words for small attractions then so in the end it boils down to the definition of the word love

but how do you define love? if love is just the next step of attraction (which it is) then you can't tell to a person what he loves and what he doesn't cus only he knows himself what he loves and so love is subjective (obviously)

if you tell to yourself that you love something or someone then you do and that makes you want to be a better person to that someone and keep/maintain the feeling so it's not even a bad thing

lots of music -
Aug 12, 2019 9:26 PM

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Feb 2019
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incisorr said:
-Frost- said:
You can’t really love someone after looking at them once.


love isn't a fixed thing

that means you can love them at first sight and change after getting to know them more.
If love was a fixed thing (which it can't be but thats why the IF) then id still have people that love me 0w0. Also people would probably use different words for small attractions then so in the end it boils down to the definition of the word love

but how do you define love? if love is just the next step of attraction (which it is) then you can't tell to a person what he loves and what he doesn't cus only he knows himself what he loves and so love is subjective (obviously)

if you tell to yourself that you love something or someone then you do and that makes you want to be a better person to that someone and keep/maintain the feeling so it's not even a bad thing

My argument is that it’s impossible to truly love someone until you actually understand them, become close to them and know them for what they truly are. If you still love them after getting to know them, then yes you’re in love. I consider “loving” someone after taking one look at them more of a prediction based on how they look of course and the aura initiating from them that you’re going to love them.
To judge others by your own standard is the height of folly.
Aug 12, 2019 9:31 PM

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Aug 2018
1058
With some expierence and some age, it will get better.
But don't put them on a pedastal.
Trust me on this one, young Padawan.
Timz0rAug 12, 2019 9:44 PM
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Please come drink tea, eat cake and procrastinate at the Cute Girls Doing Cute Things Club. We have simulwatches! \o/
Aug 12, 2019 9:58 PM

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Sep 2012
4153
you probably have been isolated for too long.
most girls, or guys if that's what you're going for, aren't worth shit, OP.

Oh maybe, maybe it's the clothes we wear
The tasteless bracelets and the dye in our hair
Or maybe, maybe it's our nowhere towns or our nothing places
But we're trash, you and me
We're the litter on the breeze
We're the lovers on the streets
Just trash, me and you
It's in everything we do
It's in everything we do



Aug 13, 2019 4:06 AM

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Nov 2013
3077
Yes it's normal for lonely people to be desperate for intimacy.
Just don't become an Incel. Blaming others is the easy way out that will lead to more self-destructive behavior.
MasterGlythAug 13, 2019 4:11 AM

I can see you


Aug 13, 2019 4:10 AM

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Dec 2017
283
AnimeFreak-San said:
starting imaging our whole life together..growing old...being married...living in a house...what our story will be...having a dog or cat.....

is this a male gender issure...human issue...mental illness perhaps? why do i fall so hard so fast....


me too, I though that was pretty normal for everyone
Aug 13, 2019 4:30 AM
Mob Character C

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Oct 2009
5189
Hm. Actually, I do something a little similar, but not to the extent that you go.

Once I get a general feel of how someone acts on a daily basis, regardless of gender, I do sometimes ask myself, "What if I were to go out with this person? I wonder what that would be like". It's not even that I've fallen in love with them and I'm pretty sure they don't like me either, but I think about it anyway.
Anyway, then I pretty much think of what I like about the person and what I don't like about the person.
Usually, this idea lasts for maybe a few seconds before I tell myself, "I wouldn't be able to deal with them if we dated", and then the whole idea is dropped and our friendship becomes stronger (if I make the effort).
I don't think I ever go into imagining our whole life together.

I always thought it was weird. It's not like I'm really looking for a relationship or anything either-- but, I do think a lot about how I would ever start going out with someone in general. I've never dated anyone, so I sometimes don't know how to approach the subject.

Ah, right. As for the few people I do think, "I'd probably be comfy with them if we were in a relationship," it's not really that I want to date them either. BUT it does sometimes help me figure out what I'd even be looking for in a relationship if I were to be in one.

Since I think it's pretty weird of me myself, I can't say much for you except to maybe reel it back. Definitely don't want to be thinking TOO far into the future. Also, I know I just explained my case, but it actually only happens with me when I really start to get to know someone-- like I can map out their daily life pretty okay or I have a feel for what they're all about. But even then, it's absolutely no problem for me to not let my actions or words be changed by my quick analysis at all. And sometimes, that analysis can help me better understand the strong points of my friendship or bond with a person.

So use that interest in the person that way, more in a way towards friendship. If you become friends and later want to become more than that then you can take the steps to reach that point. But even if your thoughts are sometimes more romantic, if you're not at that point with that person yet, take those feelings and instead use them to become a better friend first. It's just about taking energy formed in one area and using it for something else in another area.

I dunno.

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Aug 14, 2019 1:08 AM

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Jun 2009
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AnimeFreak-San said:
starting imaging our whole life together..growing old...being married...living in a house...what our story will be...having a dog or cat.....

is this a male gender issure...human issue...mental illness perhaps? why do i fall so hard so fast....


That's pretty normal for a young person. I had the same thoughts when i was 15-17 years old.
Only because of my christian upbringing. Which is not bad at all in my opinion. Sadly those goes out the window pretty quick if you don't stay in the church.

But...if you like 20 something and still having that, you are over thinking it.

Granted I have that little voice in the back in my head every time I go out on a new date. I just don't pay much attention to that little voice any more. Cause if there is no second date I don't feel like the world is endding LOL
Aug 14, 2019 2:03 AM

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Mar 2019
4051
That's pretty normal I'd say. Your fantasies are for you and you alone after all.
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Aug 14, 2019 2:39 AM
serendipity

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Oct 2015
2161
hooman issue

this tends 2 happen to ppl w. less female interaction sry



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i'll be a
bad girl who's
always good to her
boy
✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁
Aug 14, 2019 5:30 AM

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Sep 2015
206
Stop being a cuck and a simp that is EXACTLY your problem, females are as human as males. Your problem is you are thirsty for what you've been indoctrinated from young days - romance. You see these love fairy tales everywhere internet,tv,radio songs.ads,books damn even taught by teachers in school. However the truth is, you dont need to chase females and their validation to be or feel like a man and by not chasing actively for this you will learn to filter fake and real people,also real life stuff is way different from what you see in tv,movies,books so you might as well be chasing,looking for a things in every girl that does not exist.
¬
Aug 14, 2019 5:46 AM
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Aug 2019
5
Same problem here doesn't help im shy and awkward :)
Aug 14, 2019 9:21 AM

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Aug 2009
8330
Cause you young dumb and full of cum.

I think you should get used to being alone and being comfortable in your own skin. From what you're saying you feel incomplete just by yourself. No one is going to "complete" you, you need to complete yourself. Learn to love yourself before you throw yourself into a relationship where you're likely to get walked all over like a doormat and taken advantage of.
LoneWolfAug 14, 2019 11:43 AM

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Aug 14, 2019 10:53 AM

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Jun 2008
25958
Like others have said....you are Thirsty, young, and dumb.

Girls will absolutely take advantage of people like this...
Aug 14, 2019 11:36 AM

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Aug 2012
6210
--ALEX-- said:
Like others have said....you are Thirsty, young, and dumb.

Girls will absolutely take advantage of people like this...
No they won't. Women can't do such a thing; they are women!
Aug 14, 2019 12:10 PM
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May 2019
3567
--ALEX-- said:
Like others have said....you are Thirsty, young, and dumb.

Girls will absolutely take advantage of people like this...


Show me on the doll where they hurt you

Aug 14, 2019 12:36 PM

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Aug 2018
319
HotPocketChris said:
just beat ur meat and get that post nut clarity. then you will see more clearly


This is basically the solution to all world problems, I'm sure of it
Aug 14, 2019 6:11 PM
YouTuber / VA

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Aug 2017
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Because when a girl is just being nice, guys often somehow interpret it as the girl flirting with them lol. Meanwhile, when a guy is flirting with them, girls often somehow interpret it as the guy just being nice lol. Kind of funny how differently men and women interpret different situations sometimes.
Aug 15, 2019 11:30 AM

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Sep 2018
427
because you haven't had enough damaging experiences to become jaded enough to function on a normal level yet
Aug 15, 2019 6:49 PM

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1065
Zeusico said:
HotPocketChris said:
just beat ur meat and get that post nut clarity. then you will see more clearly


This is basically the solution to all world problems, I'm sure of it

No. Post nut depression. Keeeek!!!
Nov 12, 2019 10:18 PM
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Jul 2018
564612
The internet is the last place you want to expose your flawed side, because certain people, who are just as flawed, and with very difficult lives, will mock you for it.
To answer your question OP, I think you crave intimacy too much. That, or I'm guessing that in your experience, you rarely encounter girls who are nice to you. Now as for the reason for that, I don't know: maybe it could be you, maybe you just keep encountering the wrong girls, I would only know your side of the story. One sided stories are biased. To have an objective view of a story, an outsider must know both sides.
removed-userNov 19, 2019 11:41 AM
Nov 12, 2019 10:45 PM

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Jan 2009
92493
youre thirsty or desperate maybe not enough water or romantic experiences in this case?
Nov 12, 2019 10:49 PM

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Oct 2019
563
i feel like i'm the only person in this thread who relates to you so hard XD
a guy will be like "hey, how are you" and bOOm i've got a crush

except it's actually bad for me because when i get into a relationship with the person, i very quickly lose feelings and no longer want to be in a relationship with them

i feel terrible about it which is why i'm avoiding committing to anyone as of late :/
Nov 13, 2019 1:04 AM
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Aug 2016
3760
That sounds like a single person's issue. Happens to me too, but not to that extent. For me it happens only till the kissing and dating part. And not with everybody who is nice to me, obviously.
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