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Wavey_Nooby said:
This is not Reddit. Also, you're a clown if you think he hasn't fucked her at least once.

SmugSatoko said:
Will you be my sister? Instead of my little sister, I'll call you my tiny sister! :'D

...Sorry. lmao. Yeah, that situation is indeed more than a little weird. Dunno what to tell ya. Maybe talk to her about it.

SubaTonic said:
Your one fatal mistake was falling in love with someone.

TinyTabun said:
wait, talk to her or talk to him?

TinyTabun said:


I have thought it, I haven't stopped thinking it. But logically, he's most likely just wanted to and upon getting rejected decided to switch up the terms when he got friendzoned. I probably should go to reddit but I'm terrified of the responses. If you have any advice I'd be really grateful

Wavey_Nooby said:
Ok I respect that. What you said was what I was initially thinking but didn't feel like typing. Since you already know that, you should probably move on. You have a grown ass woman living with you that is in no way related to him or you. Unless you can accept that just leave. It's obviously going to be hard because you love him. I also understand that women are more emotionally driven so I can give you this as a man. Most men would NOT allow some random dude to live with us. I'd ask my S/O to either kick him out or I leave. Actually, I would probably just leave. It's only been 5 months, right? I don't know how old you are but I can assume you're in your 20s. There are plenty of good men looking for you. Don't waste your time with a guy who literally allowed a stranger to move into his house simply because they played video games together.

traed said:
Sounds like there is missing information on why they are so close and the exact nature of their relationship. I think you would get more from her because it may be something he doesn't feel he has right to say like she was traumatized by something. You have to be careful how you ask. Just give benafit of doubt for now. It could either be platonic or not. There is a lot of different things it could be or have been.

149597871 said:
That is clearly unacceptable. Break up with him and become my sister instead.

Cazqui-09 said:
i am going to back you up here and agree that is both weird and suspicious.

just giving my own anecdotes here out of pity, i too have an old online friend who i have called my younger sister (in chinese) where we both met in our teens on a game. i still address her as this once in a while, but it's definitely not 'serious' you know? when we were calling today, definitely no mention of it and especially since we are not blood related. it seems like he is roleplaying and "adopted siblings" that you chose by yourself in your 20's would make anyone scratch their head. i'd live with my real siblings... just saying, this might be an issue in the future if he has 10+ years of history with her. the warning signs are all there and you both have not been half a year into the relationship, yet he is reluctant to be completely transparent.

TinyTabun said:


I think it's platonic now just from how they interact and how he treats me. But it's super concerning that he didn't immediately explain HOW they got there. Why would a straight male meet a girl and dub her 'sister'? No info on if they dated before and it didn't work out..,thats what gets me

Cazqui-09 said:
i am going to back you up here and agree that is both weird and suspicious.

traed said:

How old is she? Does he have a sort of firm love he gives both you? Not like tough love but like highly involved and concerned but not overly controlling. What is her personality like? Has he called her his sister in front of her or only to you? Have you heard her call him her brother and what is the exact wording she uses?

Im_Stuff said:


I'm going to not do any of that. It is weird that an adult "adopts" a sibling (a bit more so than sharing your romantic problems on an anime forum but I don't judge) I concede. But if there's no history of lying in the couple that sounds like a weird first.

To me it just sounds like you're making a mountain out of a molehill. There is some clarification to be had and it's worth having a chat with the two of them to make them understand your feelings on this topic. But on the other hand if you never questioned their relationship up until now that must mean there's nothing worth questioning.

ACasualViewer said:


If this isn't creative writing or a LARP, then yeah lol break up with him, this is insane.

Im_Stuff said:


I'm going to not do any of that. It is weird that an adult "adopts" a sibling (a bit more so than sharing your romantic problems on an anime forum but I don't judge) I concede. But if there's no history of lying in the couple that sounds like a weird first.

To me it just sounds like you're making a mountain out of a molehill. There is some clarification to be had and it's worth having a chat with the two of them to make them understand your feelings on this topic. But on the other hand if you never questioned their relationship up until now that must mean there's nothing worth questioning.

TinyTabun said:


These are good questions, thank you. I'm not sure her age, I think she's 31 or 32 (he's 35). Firm love....no? He talks to her casually and talks to me romantically, but he does talk about her a lot, like what he'll do for her birthday or just her opinions on things. Her personality is less bubbly than mine, but she has similar interests to me (Anime, gaming, nerdy girls). I act more cutesy, she comes off calmer and more mature. He has ONLY called her his sister to me, never in front of her. She almost seemed surprised that I didn't know they weren't related. And I've never heard her call him her brother, she's usually chatting on discord to her friends but I get the feeling he's more invested in her than she is him because she's always talking to someone new and was already dating when I met him...but the amount of times he's said 'my sister is doing this or that' is INSANE.

traed said:

But is she more mature acting than he is? Does he seem clingy to you?

TinyTabun said:


More than him...I don't know her well enough, I would say about the same. And he is very attentive to me, not obsessively clingy or anything

psy_storm said:
I was gonna say this seems like something you would see on Jerry Springer or Maury, but you beat me to it.

Anyways, that's crazy. Personally, I wouldn't be comfortable with situation. That just puts you in a weird and awkward position. The fact that he doesn't want to be away from her is a huge red flag. They probably have something more intimate going on there.

traed said:

Hm can he be kind of a pushover though?


I know these questions sound unrelated but I am trying to rule some stuff out .

TinyTabun said:


Pushover...hmm not really. He doesn't struggle to tell me what he does and doesn't like, and he treats her like a casual roommate

TinyTabun said:
Yes, I'm in my 20s, and I don't live with him! I just trusted that 'oh, he lives with his sister, kinda weird' but it's fine'. He made me feel like an idiot for finding it completely creepy that she isn't related to him. And I worry I suffer from being too logical, he's said he loved me, he wants to marry me, and I think I'm the one that's too quick to exit relationships so I want to make sure I'm not being crazy before I leave this one

TinyTabun said:


I always found how much he talked about her and his need for her approval to be weird even for siblings but I passed it off as shared trauma. The situation itself is bad, but him completely dismissing me and refusing to talk about it made it really concerning.

TinyTabun said:
Well...I'm not in love with him. He's claimed to be in love with me half a dozen times which makes this even more shocking. I just don't want to overreact and breakup over this, I want a male perspective of if I'm overreacting or not

Erg_Orgy said:
Tell him what you posted here (maybe word it a bit differently but you get the idea). If he doesn't take your concern seriously, it's probably not meant to be.

His case is a hard one to relate to for many of us, but you can't tell for sure until you sit down and discuss it with him openly. No walking around on eggshells, tell him how this whole thing makes you feel.
If he pulls up the whole "wow I thought you were supposed to trust me" argument after 5 months of dating, which is honestly a lazy retort by itself, there might be something going on.