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I'm okay just got a black eye and a few broken ribs half my body is blue. I have reading epilepsy and was hospitalized for a few days, kept me off the metro I guess but my body is super fucked up. I fell off my bed onto a cement tile floor broke my glasses and cut into my eyebrow so bad that there was a pool of blood when I came to. I was kinda happy when I woke up because I thought I had hit an artery, it was that bad. Spent the night in hospital and came home the next day couldn't keep any food down from pain just wish I had a gun lol I'm literally disabled right now.

It looks really interesting, and I wish I could drop everything, but I think my mind will be distracted by other things, and I won't be able to enjoy properly :p you're tempting me with interesting games I've never heard about lol
I'm kind craving more RTS and TBS games these days, but also resisting the temptation :p

Yeah, and if you feel like it's more of a chore regardless, then maybe it's not that important :) but you'd probably have a great time if it's favorites only.

There's some interesting nuggets to be found on Archive.org, toku-wise.

For instance, there are raw VHS rips of the three-episode independent production Majin Kishi Jack Geist, circa 2000.

Features a soundtrack by composer Michiaki Watanabe, whose resume includes songs for numerous toku shows, and an opening theme by Akira Kushida, whose vocal credits include various Sentai show songs, and for the Metal Heroes franchise too including the Space Sheriff themes.

https://archive.org/details/majin-knight-jack-geist-vhs-1

https://archive.org/details/majin-knight-jack-geist-vhs-2

https://archive.org/details/majin-knight-jack-giest-3

I have spotted a ff9 enjoyer in the wild. You have been noticed.

Oh lol I forgot to check for how long it's been doing its thing. Hmmmmm I remember briefly checking out 1 single Morrowind mod, and I wonder if it could've actually been the earlier version of Tamriel Rebuilt. Not important, but kind of curious. Anyway, makes sense for them to drop that idea, considering that it might take another 200 lol

Yeah, I asked myself many times "why the hell would you want to waste months on re-experiencing so many things just to adjust some stupid numbers on some random anime/game websites that you didn't even care about a few years ago?". Not the only reason, of course, but it was still an important question :p and then I just thought: do I honestly have anything better to do at this point that will also keep my spirits up? Not really. And if it feels important and will bring me that peace of mind that I require, then why the hell not? No one asked me to register on MAL, Backloggd etc. and establish some kind of a personal system there - I sealed my own fate lol and I don't have anything new that I'm crazily interested in and just dying to play/read/watch, so I can allow myself to chill for a bit and go through my past in such an extensive way (and have quite a bit of fun along the way).

Yeah, mobile UIs are yuck >_< I didn't know that iPhones had such a big impact on anything, but I guess it makes sense. To me, it was always like this mega expensive phone that doesn't enough benefits to justify such a cost.

That mod seems pretty grand and interesting :) I wonder if they'll actually add other provinces in an interesting way. If only I liked Morrowind and TES setting as a whole, then I might have checked it out.
Because I'm a crazy person, I actually decided to re-experience a lot of games, anime and manga, fully or partially, to re-adjust my scores to fit my final re-imagination of how I want to do things and make my personal system more perfect, so it'll probably take me many months to do that lol but I guess it's important for me to have this integrity and sense of everything being in its proper place (not to mention that I wanted to re-experience a lot of things and now I have an excuse as well). I'm just moving up from my lowest to my highest scores, with a few exceptions. So, that's how my life will approximately look in the upcoming future :) with maybe a few new things sprinkled here and there, when it comes to anime and manga at least.
One day I dream of looking at this web of scores, impressions and hierarchy of preferences that I've been weaving throughout the last few years and say to myself "yeah, everything looks as it should, and it reflects these parts of me as perfectly as possible" :) how easily I get off-topic with my own ramblings :p

Equality for swear words! :p Yeah, having all these tiers does seem pretty annoying.

Lol never owned an iPhone :p I remember people gushing over them and me not understanding what the big deal is.

i hope you are doing gr8, sir

Yeah and could be mix of culture and subcultural influence.

You dont seem very bitchy

Maybe if frozen with chocolate or made into banana chips

I handle most kinds of situations okay i think so i dunno it wouldnt deter me. Like i said could just be the ways you met these guys.

That sucks. I kinda get it but I take more issue with how society is structured and the kind of cultural brainwashing people go through. I question what my mom would be diagnosed with but she sure acts very on edge and holds grudges for all eternity.

I cant eat bananas. The texture just gets me. Has to be in a smoothie or something.

It'll pass as soon as I fully go back to gaming and other things that don't involve people :p then it'll often take me weeks to respond anywhere, for good or ill.

Really? I didn't think "cunt" is such a bad word in US :) or anywhere else for that matter. Always seemed pretty light to me. I mean, people use racial slurs and stuff here as well, obviously, but it just never seemed to me like slurs are any worse compared to other swear words + it heavily depends on how you say it and to whom.

I think that's a very good point :) if too much power is given to certain words and they're exploited accordingly by interested 3rd parties to pressure certain sensitive "spots", it can start massive conflicts pretty much out of nowhere. But speaking of just daily life: yeah, it's not like people can control themselves all the time anyway. I don't think that "ruin your life" should be the consequence of using a "bad" word. Cancel culture would probably disagree with me, though lol

I havent even dated formally before. .-.

Oh. Well it is possible to go into remission or recovery from schizophrenia too. In fact it occurs more in third world countries possibly in part because they cant afford to take meds indefinitely so they just take them during first psychosis then wean off of them but also because the cultures of some like in Asia are more open minded to spiritual things so they arent as alienated there and many developing countries also are more collectivist which provides better support networks sometimes (though a lot of Asian countries stigmatize mental illness a good amount so that holds back some possabilities). Though remission and recovery is still not 100% there either unfortunately. There also is lower ranks before that schizophreneform which lasts for a shorter duration. Below that is schizotypal personality disorder which does include delusions or hallucinations. Anyway you would probably have to mention your previous deliriant use to contextualize some things.
Was your mom formally diagnosed or did she just do splitting behaviour?

I could use a pickle. Had a bad leg cramp this morning. Ahh it hurt so bad

Since were here and talking, I'll be killing myself this week. Sometime this week. I'd rather tell someone who I don't have any connection to, venting a bit I guess. Kinda just fedup with everything. I thought about taking sleeping pills and drinking a bottle of liquor but I feel like I'd panic halfway 'down'. I live in Japan so I'll be going to the suicide forest. Original right? I'm actually more concerned about the cost of tolls to get there. This'll be the last time online here or online in general so bye and I hope you have a good one.

Sounds kind of like the ex of a friend of mine. Though they werent casual like she had to fly over to see him. Though he did try to turn it into something else apparently.

What is the eval for?

That would be weird if that was possible. More than just pickles will go through, that is for sure. Imagine someone trying to travel through a screen too small and get stuck or just have hands pop out of phones and grab the person holding them to just fuck with them lol

Yeah i bet it. Sorry to hear. I dont think it necessarily is them ashamed of being seen with you but could be a general fear of something bad happening to either of you maybe at least in some cases.

BPD is tricky because there is subtype ways someone can act like that. Not everyone with BPD is an absolute cunt many are just hard on themselves but i think those types i dont even consider a mental illness unless they are actually self harming over little nothings but usually there is some reason for it.

Send some through the screen >:c

Yeah i feel you. I wouldnt say i obsess over romance but once I love someone I can fall deep. I keep wanting to figure out how to be an ideal partner. Well wouldnt another common factor be where you live and where you are meeting people and under what context? People act different in different areas. Id also think the mindset you have at any moment might influence what kind of people would be drawn to you, so not inherently who you are just what you think and subtle body language that results.

Seems normal to me. Short term gratification for prologued pain.

The more talk about pickles the more i want some and have none ;_;