Aoi Bungaku Series Episode 3 Discussion

Laevantein said:
Hey even noteDhero is creeped out by the monster..i thought i'm the only one..just an advice from my experience don't watch it during midnight i can't help myself from looking at the mirror and the door behind my back..it seems like somebody watching me, the monster is growing in my head

SoulFlyy said:

The monster thing is under your bed!

Seiji_S said:
It's getting exciting!~ can't wait to play 4 ^^

Alipio said:
Watching this show always makes me feel depressed...

Zero said:
Loved the scene in the snow.

Tatynin said:
A great episode. This history is sad... but great. Could it have a happy-end?
I fell myself depressed too...

viridiaelnex said:
Spot The Hitler:

cantius said:
Boring arc. Main characters pathetic.

EarlCiel said:
The reason Youzou Ooba smiles is because he is told to do this act by the photographer, and in just a snapshot, a second, he wants to create the illusion that he fits in with whoever he is standing with. His smile is an illusion. His happiness has always been defined by other people or dependent on other people.
This is pretty lengthy, but I really felt inclined to analyze the episode and show thus far.

At first, it really bothered me how he kept telling others verbatim how he is a ghost in this episode even though clearly a ghost doesn't exist to others. I thought that phrase was ridiculous because these women who are talking to him and helping him clearly see him., but then we are shown the flashback of Ooba's past when he meets that boy who saw through his clown act. From that point on he looked at his reflection and became more aware of his act. In his reflection, he could not see himself. He was nobody. When people look at him, they do not see him for who he is because Ooba feels that "real" part of him does not exist. Even he doesn't know who he is, and the thought of this makes him feel pathetic. Accepting this "truth" drives him to the point of insanity in this episode several times.

In this episode, Youzou Ooba tries to become human. For the majority of his life he has put on an act where in the first episode he describes how it's embarrassing how he tries to appear human. You see that he is trying to attain roles that will give his life meaning, direction such as becoming a Dad or becoming a mangaka. His father enforced the idea that a person who does not earn money is not human. Along with this idea, his dad enforced many restrictions on him and directed the way that he is to live his life. It seems that he definitely resents his father, opposes this mindset yet he finds himself following the words of his father. There is a very big difference between his clown act and his attempt to become human, yet there are also similarities. The difference is that when he was younger, it was his last time to try to find affection from humans since acting like a clown pleased others, and he cares about getting people to like him. He cared for this possible attachment with people. When he tries to become human in the present, some people may argue with me that he tries to do the same, however I believe he attempts to put on this act to satisfy himself and not for anyone else. What is similar, is of course, that both are acts of deception and complete lies.

The creature, the monster appears throughout this episode because no matter how hard our protagonist tries to "become human" he feels that society is opposing him. Society, a collection of individuals oppose him when he tries to live a normal life which serves as a great reminder to him of his past (and his present) where he did not see value in his life and was going to end his life. The reason I say present is that just because he has attained the sort of roles, doesn't mean he still wants to go on living. After all, he keeps on seeing the monster and keeps on being reminded that these roles are not him. It's almost like not his reality and not his life because how he really sees himself is as a pathetic, shapeless nobody. When he sees the monster, he is reminded of that chance to leave the world which was within his grasp and how he actually wanted to depart. The world, however, has a way of imposing its expectations and beliefs on others. This is society.

In a sense, we are not who we think we are. We are who we think that other people think we are. That is part of our identity, and we are influenced by the thoughts and words of others. That is exactly how he gained his disguise when he was in school. That is exactly how he was forced out of fear to act because of his father. This is why when he lies on the snow and "tells his story" for a second he repeated the words of others and tried to say it as the truth. "I did murder that woman, I pushed her". For someone who sees himself as shapeless and without form, Ooba strives to give shape to himself but learned very quickly that this is quite difficult to do just by yourself in the world we live in. This is because people, others, have a part in your identity and it is imposed on us. Additionally, there are obviously very prevalent signs of depression as he has attempted suicide once already. Unlike another group of mental illnesses, it can be said that a person with depression is more aware of their illness as opposed to someone with, say, personality disorders or schizophrenia. I personally think that whenever people mention his double suicide attempt, our main character is constantly reminded of his non-human qualities. A person with depression knows that for other people's it's natural instinct, it's only human to go on living every day. This is a fact because we see people and the way they live since they are before our very eyes. Yet for people with depression, they see the difference in the way life is lived and output on life. For a depressed person, living is suffering. Living is excruciating. So, it is my belief that at the mention of the suicide stretches him farther and farther from the ultimate goal of becoming "human".