I love you.

philtecturophy said:
Actually just yesterday evening. I said it sincerely to almost cry to my gf.

Yesterday afternoon I made her cry by saying "I just wanna die, maybe its better for you if I die". My chronic physical disability (5 years coccydynia) and mental depression makes my emotion unstable. Everyday I feel is sharp pain at my tailbone, cannot sit, cannot stand still, cannot do activities like normal people without the sharp pain.

I often feel so much anger suddenly and can often say words that hurts other people's feeling, such as to my mother or my gf, the only people that are currently closed to me.

Yesterday evening I regret what I said, after she cried. While holding her hands on bed, I said "I'm really sorry for what I said earlier this afternoon, I thank you for always praying for me at the temple, I thank you for your pray everyday for me, I love you". She wipe the tears at her eyes. Then we both go to sleep (evening sleep).

At night, we ate dinner together at my house, (spaghetti Bolognese with eggs). Then went back to my room, hugging, kissing etc. Then we watched anime (Kaiji: the episodes where they play E-Card) while eating fruits. After anime, we talk while laying down on bed, just sharing stories etc. And thats my weekend yesterday.