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56709 Jan 21, 9:33 PM
bro i feel you about that surgery i didnt have chronic pain but i did have a rare problem some time ago i decided not to get the surgery even though the studies showed it might be helpful but things turned out OK

I hope it turns out OK for you too
moonbox Jan 17, 5:44 PM
hi there, I saw that you ran a roleplay club and thought that was pretty cool. then, as I was about to comment on your profile, I saw it mentioned you're disabled. my father is about to undergo surgery in order to save his life because he has cancer; they're going to remove some parts which will leave him disabled. I know I'm a stranger and I apologize if I'm overstepping, but I wanted to say that even if you feel like a burden, your family loves you and you still have value as a human being.

have you read any literature regarding ableism or works by disabled authors/academics/activists? again, sorry if this is overstepping.
Kazu-chan-san Jan 7, 12:06 AM
Do you think Gilgamesh and Ishtar should've been in Magi since they're from the Nordic/Arabic culture/myths?
damemadedame Dec 29, 2022 1:36 AM
Do you need money? I can Paypal you money anytime now or in the future if it will help improve the quality of your life...
damemadedame Dec 29, 2022 1:34 AM
So it doesn't matter if you stand or sit the pain does not go away? And you were feeling depressed before the accident and the accident just made it worse? That's awful, I don't know what to say.... I don't know how to imagine your pain... If you ever need specific help or support I will try my best to my ability to help you... I will just say how your situation relates to Islam, the best religion.

This is your test that Allah has given you. Everything in our life is pre-destined by Allah but Allah has also given us free will to think on our own and do actions.

God does not burden your soul more than what it can bear. These suicidal thoughts are the whisperings of Shaytan (Devil). Your mum and gf will be very hurt and their emotional burden will not decrease it will increase. Please try your best to stay alive I hope Allah rewards you for your strength. You can ignore those thoughts and submit yourself to Allah

Maybe you can find comfort in reading the Quran:

If you suicide, will you have the chance to enter heaven and will you be forgiven by God? Brother, even if you kill someone, do not lose hope for forgiveness. Allah is Most Powerful, Most Forgiving, Most Merciful, as long as you repent. But in suicide I don't know if you get the chance to repent which is why I am worried for you please don't kill yourself it is a major sin.. We get put in the grave first and are either tormented or we find ourself in a garden of Paradise waiting for Judgement Day, What happens on Judgement Day is between you and Allah and he will judge you fairly. He will put you in Paradise or Hellfire.

I did some researching for you and I found this quote I think it's from Quran:

"Whoever said "None has the right to be worshipped but Allah" and has in his heart good (faith) equal to the weight of a barley grain will be taken out of Hell."

So this suggests that if you get punished there is a possibility to get taken out of Hell after a certain period of time passes.

Islamic scholar that gives clear advice for anything this is his youtube channel:
I found some videos where he gives advice similar to your situation this is how a fully-practicing muslim would think please watch only 2 minutes long:

Suffering from a lot of health issues and a long illness, how to cope with it?

Is there a cure for all illnesses & diseases, even cancer, in Islam?

My advice, your first priority right now is to stay alive. Do whatever you must to stay alive and get away from shaytan, you can do things that won't harm you or others, and not lead to addiction and heartbreak.

I am not sure about this but I think Allah, The Most Powerful, is nearing you.

damemadedame Dec 28, 2022 6:27 AM
Wow I am surprised at how close you are to Allah already. You are so close to the right path my friend. To be Muslim you need to believe in this:

Belief in one God (Allah)
Belief in the Angels
Belief in the holy books sent to all the prophets including Torah that was revealed to the prophet Moses, Bible that was revealed to the prophet Jesus, and Qur'an (Koran) that was revealed to the prophet Muhammad
Belief in all the prophets sent by God including Noah, Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Jesus and Muhammad. Although Muslims believe in Isa or Jesus they don't think of Jesus as the Son of God the way Christians do.
Belief in the Day of Judgment and life after death. The best reward for performing good deeds is getting closer to God.
Belief in divine decree. This means that God is all-powerful and nothing can happen without His permission, however, he has given human beings freedom to choose whether to be good or bad. In the end, everyone will be questioned about how they lived in this life. 

You can realise you are muslim anytime even right now :)

Don't hate yourself all creatures including humans are beautiful since Allah made it and them :)

Allah does not make the pain more than what the soul can bear please forgive me Allah if I'm wrong. I am praying for your pain to disappear too.
damemadedame Dec 28, 2022 2:16 AM
Hello brother I will copy paste most of this because another guy on this website is in similar situation as you but I will change some of the sentences to suit your situation

Hello brother back when I used to watch a lot of anime and lurk and browsed the forums in 2018-Nov 2022, I came across your profile I admit sometimes when I was bored I would read the conversations you were having on your profile, but don't feel uncomfortable I did the same with multiple people who I related to on this website and it was out of boredom and curiousity not malicious intent.

You seem very depressed and lost in life. I understand why you were in a car accident which injured your tailbone leading to horrible chronic pain. And it stops you from doing things you like such as playing the piano forgive me if I remembered incorrectly.

A little background about me, I accepted Allah as the One and Only God and Muhammad (Peace be Upon Him) as the Final Messenger of God a few days ago and now I feel at peace. Since I used to relate with you a lot I feel really bad for you brother I want to guide you down the right path not forcibly convert that's forbidden because in the Quran it says there is no compulsion in religion.

Believe in Allah, appreciate the life he has given you, even if it has been a life full of suffering and hardships. Allah knows best. You might ask why has bad things happened to me if God is real? Maybe the good things was not right for you. Maybe you didn't have many friends during your teenage years in school and you felt so lonely but maybe if you had friends a certain friend would betray you, or they invite you somewhere and you get into an accident. Or in your case if you did not get into an accident and get chronic pain maybe Allah is testing you maybe not being in constant pain is not right for you. But Allah knows best. Our whole lives are a test to see if we realise that Allah is the One and Only God and do as much efforts we can to worship him for the life that he gave us.

I hope for Allah's forgiveness if I'm wrong but Allah will forgive even those who have done horrible things such as murder, as long as they repent. Allah will also forgive those who've never heard of Islam such as isolated tribes or deaf, insane etc. as long as on Judgement Day they pass Allah's test. For the test, it is said that God will have a ball of fire and he'll say if you believe in me as the One and Only God then jump in. If they jump in they will enter Paradise if they don't then it's Hellfire for them.

Description of Hellfire you can look it up on your own its horrible description. Description of Paradise: no negative emotions so no boredom or jealousy, everything will be so beautiful which is incomprehensible to the human mind, you will be the best physically attractive version of yourself, you will be given the strength of 100 men to eat, drink and have sexual pleasure. When you eat instead of excretion you will sweat it out. The sexual pleasure will be unimaginable to the human mind. Your wife will be so beautiful compared to her Earth version as well. If you don't have a wife then Al-hoor al-'iyn exist in Paradise. "They are extremely beautiful, such that the marrow of their shins will be visible from beneath their garments." Since everyone is really beautiful anyway I will assume that the wife will be just as beautiful as Al-hoor al-'iyn I hope Allah forgive me if im wrong.

Here is a scientific fact about the Quran it blew my mind. But what blew my mind more is when non-believers still didn't believe, it is the heart that is blind not the eyes. I know what you might say. "But Kelvin was only invented recently." But the point is Allah knew that the Kelvin was going to be invented because he is God, he knows the future, duh.

And to finalise, if you think religion is just a guilt-trip or something, there is a beautiful story about what happened to the last person to enter Paradise. Read this:

The Quran is the guidebook to a satisfying fulfilling life. Muslims are the most satisfied group in the world. Western civilisation is collapsing and if people followed Allah and the Quran it would all be fixed because the Quran is not only the guide to a satisfying life but also to keep civilisation from collapsing. Single-mother households, murder, rape, robbery, adultery, alcohol, gambling, prostitution are significantly higher in the West than in Muslim countries.

You might make the argument """"That's because Muslim countries have stricter rules and strict social attitude which prevent people from sinful things""" Wrong. Just look at Afghanistan, which is truly being oppressed because of taliban. Women are protesting because they are banned from university in Afghanistan because of taliban. So this shows that when they are TRULY being oppressed the muslim women will not hesitate to fight back.

Also some Muslim countries have been invaded with sin so they're bad examples such as Morocco and Turkey. They claim to be Muslims but they don't even pray and a woman was seen dancing outside of a mosque in Turkey and non-believers use this as an argument against Islam.

A common thing that gives me sense of peace is whatever happens, happens, whatever doesn't happen, doesn't happen. This is all part of Allah's test.

Realising all of the injustices and hardships people face all over the Earth I get an overwhelming urge to give money and food to as many people as I can. To reduce suffering as much as I can. Helping others is emphasised in Quran and Allah will reward you for it, not to show off, but because you realise the suffering and injustice in this world Allah forgive me if I'm wrong.

I am dumping all of this knowledge on you brother I am sorry about that, but I learnt so much in these past few days I wanted to share it with you. If you have any questions and doubts stopping you from accepting The One and Only God Allah you can reply if you want. Or you can ignore this whole message as if nothing happened, my intention was to guide you that's all. May Allah guide us on the right path.
zsxa Dec 26, 2022 8:40 AM
mental health? I'm doing ok on that side since i accepted whatever is coming for me since i was a kid. I'm pretty well off too so that might be affecting my mental health in a positive way, i can die tomorrow and i would readily accept it.
daily activities to cope with it? sadly i have none. i just push on forward and see how far i can go.
i'm sorry if i can't give any proper advice for you.
zsxa Dec 26, 2022 5:37 AM
it's been near 11 years since i lost my ability to walk.
for my case it's a rare genetic disorder that has been trying to kill me since birth. i rather not say which it is though because i can easily be googled because of it. this slowly degrades my body basically killing me slowly.
there is no treatment for my case best i can do is slow it down with physical therapy. i did go to it in detail in one of your post from way back
Mayu_Senpai Dec 16, 2022 6:24 PM
Ok, Thanks for the reply
I am going to visit the MAL graphic contest
Meusnier Dec 16, 2022 1:14 PM
No worries, I do not think that we fundamentally disagree on this topic. The dialectical hierarchy was only indicated what constituted the fine arts. One cannot establish an objective hierarchy between arts. You can perfectly prefer an art over something, and I think that most people would put music first, even when they listen to shitty rap all day. But when people start pretending that crappy video games are somehow comparable to Chopin's Ocean, I cannot stay silent!

Thank you! I hope that you have nice holidays too :-).
Mayu_Senpai Dec 15, 2022 10:29 PM
hi bro
Nice CSS edits it is so cool bro
I love your profile Design
Please can you tell me how you make such an awesome design? pretty please!
KittenCuddler Dec 7, 2022 4:53 PM
Howdy, MAL neighbor.

I'm going "door-to-door" to make sure the good folks of MAL know about the greatest anime character ever: May

May is what many people would say, simply aMAYzing. She's incredibly intelligent. She's super strong (both physically and mentally!). She is compassionate to her friends, as well as her opponents and enemies. May is also resourceful, brave, crafty, witty, honest, loyal, open-minded, dependable, friendly, and she has an aMAYzing fashion sense too. If you are ever feeling down, lost, confused, angry, or hurt, take a deep breath and ask yourself what May would do!

If you have any questions about the blessing that is May feel free to reach out to me directly or ask them in our club:

starflutter Dec 5, 2022 5:39 PM
Hey, I love piano too! I am (was) a classically trained pianist, but I stopped practicing for years. I took another class in 2021 but completely fell off again after relearning everything! I can still play some easy songs but don't really have the same skill I used to.
MetalSuperset Nov 27, 2022 1:31 AM
Sorry for accidentally replying to your forum post 4 times with the same reply. I swear it's all because MAL can't run properly at times. I've deleted the extra replies already, though, so I'm not sure if you'll notice them. lol