What would be your response if you got cheated on?
| I don't know what I'd do to be honest. I'd probably get mad and break up with them in public? Good thing I don't have a boyfriend, so I ain't gotta worry about putting up with that shit. How bout you though? |
-Kookie-Oct 12, 2019 11:12 AM
| Pack my shit up and leave! I see no point in revenge when it comes to cheating. |
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| Ghost her I'll save myself from weeks of dealing with headaches and nonsense that way |
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| @FlowersInTheRain, hm, I may actually make a separate thread a later asking if people have cheated. If you don't mind, I'd be curious to hear your reason for doing so. |
| y u do dis ;/ u brokeded my heart </3 :( |
| Real men cry themselves to sleep every night |
| I never had romantic attraction towards anyone so I'm not sure how to answer. I wouldn't demand sexual fidelity from him/her in the first place. To me, having sexual desires for other people, or even actualising those desires doesn't reduce the validity of their romantic love to their partner in and of itself. And I do find the disparity in the reaction between one's partner actualising that desire by physical means and by "certain outlets" completely arbitrary. It makes no meaningful difference whether one has sex with someone or masturbates to a pornstar as far as fidelity goes. In both cases you demonstrate your desire for another body. If you value consistency, you should either be outraged on neither or both as far as I'm concerned. Although it should be noted that, in cheating there's almost always also a romantic aspect with the person your partner cheated on, so it's justifiable to be (extra) pissed. |
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| Only one choice if you're a human being with a functional brain. |
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| Don't break up with them calmly but also don't seek revenge. |
| I'd obviously break up and deep down probably be vindictive. Whether the opportunity for revenge presents itself and I go through with it is a different story. The easier path would be to just move on and erase their existence from your memory |
<Insert clever quote> |
| I'd obviously ask why didn't they invite me to watch, how rude and inconsiderate can they be? |
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| It's a good idea to ask yourself and your partner why before breaking up else it will likely happen again in your future relationships. Kosmonaut said: I'd obviously ask why didn't they invite me to watch, how rude and inconsiderate can they be? I'll be fine with all that as long as they tell me all the juicy details afterwards. Sometimes we need to use our imagination as well. |
| I'd be upset, and instantly break up. Absolutely nothing could convince me to stay with that person for another second. |
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| I would just calmly say goodbye and stop talking to him. No drama. cheating is a clear indication of him/her not being committed to the relationship and not being devoted to you. |
 It’s okay to look back at the past, just don’t stare too long |
| I would ask my GF if it's cool for me to hang out in the cuck tent and jack it to my own personal shame. |
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| The annual cheating thread :D Cheating is a very complicated and sensitive topic. It's ironically one of the most strong moral stances most people have yet a large number of us do it. Personally I have not cheated and here are my thoughts: 1. "I have never cheated and will never cheat." This is a bit of a misnomer. Cheating is extremely common and there are many different causes for it. The vast majority of people who cheat are also part of the "I will never cheat" category, until they aren't. We're human. We have need and emotions. We can be manipulated and tricked not just by others but by our own mind. Majority of people say they would never shock a person despite their protest, yet over half of participants in the Milgram experiment continued to shock a person who clearly did not want to be shocked. Given the right circumstances, humans will do things they never thought there were capable of. That is a reality that we need to live with. So while you may think you'll never cheat on your s.o., you may not know yourself as well as you think you do. Victims of the Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571 didn't expect to find themselves cannibalizing their fellow dead passengers, but it happened. 2. "The person cheating is always to blame." This is another misnomer. While the cheater is obviously the one making the decision to cheat, it's not made in a vacuum. Everyone's relationship is different and complicated. Many things can contribute to someone's vulnerability to cheating. Maybe it was a fight, or stress, or lack of sex, or abuse, or a multitude of other factors compounding over many months or even years. While we may not condone cheating in any case, we can certainly find cases where we may be more sympathetic and understanding rather than just blindly saying it's wrong every time and the cheater is always 100% to blame. Things aren't that easy. Of course, sometimes they are that easy and the cheater is simply an awful person who doesn't respect their partner. Now, would I tell any of this to my partner? Hell no. None of this inspires confidence in a relationship. If asked, "would you ever cheat on me? You always say no because that's how you actually feel and because that's how you intend to participate in the relationship. It's not a lie, it's just a simplified version of the truth, because the truth is, nobody wants to cheat. To answer the question because the poll doesn't really capture my answer: I would break up with my partner no matter what the reason was. That kind of betrayal will personally shake my confidence to the point where I would never recover the initial trust that I had. I wouldn't get mad unless the circumstances called for it. |
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| "I'd find a way to get back at them, then break up." I'd go for this because I'm a vile and vengeful person. |
  “The most shameless thing in the world is political power that can be inherited regardless of ability or talent!” |
| I'd play it safe by leaving quietly and breaking up over text just in case of violence. I'm not going to waste my time with someone who isn't going to be loyal or honest to me. At most for revenge, I would warn any of their future partners about their cheating history, but that be less about getting back at my former partner and more about to save someone heartbreak and time. |
| A treasure the color of the rainbow, the color of happiness |
| I'd probably just be extremely sad and hurt and feel betrayed to the point where I'd just leave silently, never talk to them again and contemplate (murder-)suicide for the next year or twelve. It's honestly one of the worst things I can imagine happening to me. I'm already having problems opening myself up to people, even when they're close to me, so if I ever managed to do that in a relationship to then have that trust and vulnerability betrayed like that, it might just break me for good. So the truth is I have no idea how I would react. |
AlcoholicideOct 13, 2019 7:52 AM
| I probably regret this post by now. |
BlakexEkalb said: Pullman said: I'd probably just be extremely sad and hurt and feel betrayed to the point where I'd just leave silently, never talk to them again and contemplate (murder-)suicide for the next year or twelve. It's honestly one of the worst things I can imagine happening to me. I'm already having problems opening myself up to people, even when they're close to me, so if I ever managed to do that in a relationship to then have that trust and vulnerability betrayed like that, it might just break me for good. So the trust is I have no idea how I would react. You okay Pullman? Don’t be doing anything reckless now. Honestly how I see it, if they choose to cheat on you and you were doing your part of the relationship then it wasn’t your fault. Sometimes people just can’t be satisfied. I'm fine, I have not been cheated on yet. I'm just saying it's one of the most psychologically devastating things I can imagine happening to me because of my general disposure, values, personality and hyper-sensitivity. It's not about fault, it's just about how much it would hurt me and me not being sure my mind could handle that much hurt without breaking. I sincerely hope I'll never have to find out. |
| I probably regret this post by now. |
FlowersInTheRain said: @Pullman you are extremely lucky to have never had your heart broken by now. I can't even imagine what that must be like. First of all idk if I would say getting cheated on is the same as getting your heart broken. You can get your heart broken without getting cheated on. Getting rejected or friendzoned used to do the trick for me. Or seeing your crush get together with someone else without you ever confessing to them. Getting cheated on would just take it to another level of hurt, it would add many more nuances to it like the betrayal of trust. But I got friendzoned every single time I confessed in the past and that definitely left its marks on me. Eventually I just stopped confessing and later on stopped even developing feelings for anyone because it would always end up the same way anyway. And secondly it's easy to not get your heart broken if you just close yourself off, make yourself numb to your feelings (with drugs or alcohol or whatever else distracts you well enough) and don't allow yourself to develop any romantic feelings for anyone for the last 10 years because you're afraid it will just end up hurting you like it did the last 10 times you fell in love. But I'm not sure if that's something I'd call 'extremely lucky'. It's simply a self-defense mechanism, a choice to not even try to find happiness in romance because you're afraid it would break you if you failed. In my opinion the lucky ones are the ones strong enough to deal with heartbreak and still move on. |
| I probably regret this post by now. |
| Where's 'get pissed off as fuck and then break up'? There's only get pissed and stay together, or get back at them and break up. |
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| "If you wanted a threesome, all you had to do was ask. I don't mind running a train as long as the balls don't touch." |
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Saucy said: The annual cheating thread :D Cheating is a very complicated and sensitive topic. It's ironically one of the most strong moral stances most people have yet a large number of us do it. Personally I have not cheated and here are my thoughts: 1. "I have never cheated and will never cheat." This is a bit of a misnomer. Cheating is extremely common and there are many different causes for it. The vast majority of people who cheat are also part of the "I will never cheat" category, until they aren't. We're human. We have need and emotions. We can be manipulated and tricked not just by others but by our own mind. Majority of people say they would never shock a person despite their protest, yet over half of participants in the Milgram experiment continued to shock a person who clearly did not want to be shocked. Given the right circumstances, humans will do things they never thought there were capable of. That is a reality that we need to live with. So while you may think you'll never cheat on your s.o., you may not know yourself as well as you think you do. Victims of the Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571 didn't expect to find themselves cannibalizing their fellow dead passengers, but it happened. 2. "The person cheating is always to blame." This is another misnomer. While the cheater is obviously the one making the decision to cheat, it's not made in a vacuum. Everyone's relationship is different and complicated. Many things can contribute to someone's vulnerability to cheating. Maybe it was a fight, or stress, or lack of sex, or abuse, or a multitude of other factors compounding over many months or even years. While we may not condone cheating in any case, we can certainly find cases where we may be more sympathetic and understanding rather than just blindly saying it's wrong every time and the cheater is always 100% to blame. Things aren't that easy. Of course, sometimes they are that easy and the cheater is simply an awful person who doesn't respect their partner. Now, would I tell any of this to my partner? Hell no. None of this inspires confidence in a relationship. If asked, "would you ever cheat on me? You always say no because that's how you actually feel and because that's how you intend to participate in the relationship. It's not a lie, it's just a simplified version of the truth, because the truth is, nobody wants to cheat. To answer the question because the poll doesn't really capture my answer: I would break up with my partner no matter what the reason was. That kind of betrayal will personally shake my confidence to the point where I would never recover the initial trust that I had. I wouldn't get mad unless the circumstances called for it. This was the best answer I ever read about cheating. Very well said. Especially the "nobody wants to cheat" part, it's true that most of us would judge others and say "I'd never cheat!!" ...until we do. It's something you don't imagine doing but somehow, cheating is still extremely common. So... |
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| While they're at work I would dump all their stuff outside and change all the locks as well as make sure they don't have have access to any of my online accounts. Then when they'd come home I'd let them know that no hard feelings but they're out of there I'm not putting up with a cheater and once a cheater always a cheater. I'm fine with remaining friends but I doubt that will happen. If there's anything they still need I'll send it to them but that's it. Would also let them know I setup a few cameras inside and outside the house and if they try anything I'll be sending the footage to the police (people can be pretty vindictive and do some pretty awful shit to you when you break up with them so you gotta make sure they aren't in a position to do any of it). |
| I definitely wouldn't get back together with them. Once they've cheated, the trust between us is well and truly broken. Uh then i'd spend to rest of my days being heart broken i guess lol. |
| I would leave them, and never forgive them. I'm not a forgiving person. |
| You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become irrelevant. |
| Hard to know for sure but in general I'm a pretty calm and rational person, and based on my prior relationship experiences I'm normally the level-headed one. So I would probably just feel bad about it for a day or two but then just take a deep breath, break up and move on I did once have someone I was crushing on tell me they were in love with somebody else though. That definitely tore me up in the moment but again, I got over it before too long. We're still friends now |
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| Call Cheaters so they can take my case and I can act a damn fool. The other most likely thing I'd do though is break up with them. I feel like I deserve the best when it comes to my relationships, and I can't be with someone if I can't trust her |
| I'D LEAVE HER BODY IN THE RIVER oops all caps sorry |
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| I have been, twice, and I've broken up with them both times. I see no reason to stay with someone who would do that, no matter how much they apologize or try to reason as to why they did it. I was of course annoyed and upset, but made myself get over it by coming to terms with the fact that they clearly weren't as invested, so why should I be? I see no point in revenge, just pack your shit and move on. Though I am somewhat of a person who holds a grudge, so I'm not likely to forgive them. |
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| I'd break up. I'd also make sure to get tested for any STDs. That would be my biggest problem, actually. You could be putting my health in danger and you're not telling me about it so it seems to me like you don't actually care about me. So why stay? |
| Why isn't there an option for literally not caring? If they want more sex, go for it. Have fun. Learn some new moves. Come back with the deets. Be safe. I'm with this person because I love them not because I own them. I can't forgive someone I was never even remotely upset with. What's next? I get mad because she uses the wrong color finger nail polish? This is borderline slavery type shit. |
FlowersInTheRain said: Someone being an atheist does not automaticaly mean that they are a degenerate.These comments are so interesting to me. I was sure that in this day and age young people were obsessed with sex, porn, harem, ecchi, hentai etc. So many claim to be atheist and against getting married etc yet here you all are 100% against the notion of cheating or forgiving someone who has cheated. This is quite an eye opener. Assuming you are all being truthful of course. |
“The most shameless thing in the world is political power that can be inherited regardless of ability or talent!” |
| If this was me before, I would try everything to get us together back again. I was desperate when it came to love. Now if that ever happened to me now, which don't give a damn about anybody else than myself, I'd just ghost them. |
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