| Like if you were to see a 23yo guy talking and hanging out with a 14 or 15yo girl (they're just friends ,nothing sexual) ,would that be ok with you? |
| Hm sounds unlikely to stay just a friendship but if it does then why not. |
This dance is the pinnacle of human achievement. |
| If you are referring to online gaming friends or whatever, that's fine but irl? Ehhhh, seems off to me... I feel like that is a recipe for disaster and should be avoided. I can't tell you how many times when I was in high school I knew girls who had guy friends that were college grads, they weren't just friends for long. :/ If you are asking about potential laws limiting friendship ages.. I don't think there should be as being friends with someone isn't a crime. |
| ๐ Embracing the boundless worlds of anime, one episode at a time. ๐ Add me to chat, would love to talk about anime, games or just life! Discord ID: TheKoricy |
Asking for a friend, are we? asdfghj |
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| Doesn't matter if it's okay with me anyway. It's not as if external parties need my consent for their own associations. Couldn't care less about the relationships of other people regardless. Back when I was in secondary school, I overheard a younger Year 8 girl who was around twelve or thirteen bragging about fucking some older Year 12 and Year 13 students (who would be 16-18 years old) on the bus, and in that moment I came to the realisation that schoolgirls seem to generally be attracted to older and more mature guys. Not even once did I ever see an older girl in a relationship with a boy even just a year below them during all my time at the campus, but the opposite was very common. So in all likelihood, teenage girls who make friends with guys who are several years older than them find at least some part of their perceived dependability and physical stature appealing on a subconscious level, even if they may not have thought about it themselves. Of course, that's just a guess of mine. |
  ๏ฝฒไนๅไนไนๅฐบ๏พไน ใ   ใฐโฝ Shaded Horizon โพ |
| if youre a grown adult trying to be genuine friends with someone underage you either obviously have bad intentions, some sort of mental disability, or both. i think theres an exception for if you just have some kid added as a friend online, but you arent actually trying to get close to them as an individual. like just gaming together or sharing an interest, but having private messages with a child? theres no reason for you to do that. |
| Idk, so should I be worried and try to report when in a sports club junior members are in friendly relations with senior members? And they would seem from outsiders to hang out as you've mentioned, while they would in reality went to a coffee/restaurant to brief talk about a strategy or a plan for tournaments etc. Seems lil crazy, as now everything is forced to be viewed as sexual or wrong even if it is not intentional. As an example since I am a kid I am in friendly healthy bond with one guy who's a husband of a female friend of my mother, that guy was born in 1954 while I am from 1999 and I plan to buy from him some metal detectors as it would help me in excavation sites when I'll begin my career, and he has few of those as he likes to have fun with searching no matter of results, duh even 3-4 weeks ago I've helped him in building place to chip away the plaster from bricks for free as I've wanted to help and he isn't in condition to do such things physically. |
| An 8 year friendship like that would only be fine if they were both adults. Teens and adults are two very different stages in life |
| The books John Bellairs wrote all featured wholesome friendships between middle schoolers and their elderly neighbors. Recommended Titles The Letter, the Witch, and the Ring The Curse of the Blue Figurine The Dark Secret of Weatherend |
| ใใฎ็ฎใ ใใฎ็ฎ๏ผ |
Reply to TibetanJazz666
Asking for a friend, are we?
asdfghj
asdfghj
| @TibetanJazz666 lmaooo chill. I'm not even 21 to be fair |
| If it's genuinely just friendship I see no issue with there being a big gap. I'm 26 and I have both friends who are 20-22 and friends who are in their 30s to 50s. With online friends you sometimes don't even know who you're talking to. A 13 year old might end up befriending a 60 year old if they happen to have the same interests, while they would be unlikely to have that opportunity IRL since people tend to be around people closer to their own age in the real world. |
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Reply to zombie_pegasus
If it's genuinely just friendship I see no issue with there being a big gap. I'm 26 and I have both friends who are 20-22 and friends who are in their 30s to 50s. With online friends you sometimes don't even know who you're talking to. A 13 year old might end up befriending a 60 year old if they happen to have the same interests, while they would be unlikely to have that opportunity IRL since people tend to be around people closer to their own age in the real world.
| @zombie_pegasus I think it is very different if the youngest party is in their 20s. Age gaps become more irrelevant as people get older. A 6 year difference between a 24 year old and a 30 year old is not nearly as jarring as an 12 year old and an 18 year old. The “half their age plus 7” is a pretty common rule regarding the minimum acceptable dating age in our cultures. On topic: To me the issue is at the very least one of maturity. What would a 15 year old have in terms of interests with me? Befriending a minor is not necessarily sexual, but can also be due to certain people having trouble socializing with age appropriate peers. Now I am not one to encourage conforming to social norms (Though maybe I do?), but if someone is perennially hanging around people younger than them with the context given (23 year old man with 14 year old girls), they probably have issues that need to be resolved/worked on if they aren’t intellectually disabled. I have seen men who do this not because they are predators but because they have troubles relating to women in their age cohort, and it is more out of loneliness and immaturity than lascivious intentions, per se. Going to be real honest, I think this scenario is super sketchy and while I will generally keep my opinions to myself, I would be weirded out and more...wary if that is the right term, because there is a very real chance of a minor being exploited, and I have at least some responsibility in ensuring it does not happen under my watch. |
PeripheralVisionFeb 28, 7:51 PM
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| Yeah, there should be if one of the parties is underage. Like, if you're just online on a forum like this and you happen to add someone who's much younger or older than you it's fine if you're not getting too close. Most of the time you have no clue how old the person you're talking to is. But irl or when getting close to someone. A 23 year old and a 14 year old are a lot different from each other. Like others said, as you both get older age gaps don't matter that much since you're all adults. But an adult seeking friendship with someone underage is really suspicious and I seriously doubt anyone without bad intentions or in their right mind would want to seek that, unless the age gap is really small like a 17 year old and a 19 year old. |
| It's totally none of my business. They can even fuck each other and i couldn't care less. |
| . |
| Definitely, if they're at different stages of life, but if they're adults who really cares. |
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| Aren't we all eternally 14 or 15 on MAL? |
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| I don't know what "limit" there would be. Like I'm not going to stop anyone on the street, but I would say that the parents should be involved, and see who their kids are hanging out with. If it's a friend of a friend or something, and mostly still have friends their age, it's probably not an issue. But if the person is specifically hanging around younger kids that could be suspect. |
 This ground is soiled by those before me and their lies. I dare not look up for on me I feel their eyes |
| I wouldn't see why not. Though I would also say that if it were some geriatric dude hanging out with a little five-year-old kid all the time, that would look pretty weird and suspicious. Even if it were innocent. ๐ฑ |
| If you're a grownup talking to teens you're not related to online you're a weirdo. |
| There is no age limit between friends, but it's bizarre to remember that I have several fujoshi friends who are 13, 16 or 18. |
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| I don't have any problem with people of any age being casual friends online but once we're getting into real life territory (exchanging phone numbers for example) I think anyone who isn't a minor should stay away from minors. (Unless it's close like a 17 year old making friends with an 18 year old) Going based off the minor's home country. |
โกโโกโโก |
| Hmm.. honestly, thats relatively concerning if say a minor was talking to someone who is much older than them- like in the scenario you mentioned. while i don't think there should necessarily be restrictions on who you are friends with, you got to make sure you're friends with the right people ig. and i do agree with what an individual said above. "I think anyone who isn't a minor should stay away from minors." THIS FR, THOUGH. |
 โง forum set by the amazing, yashika-chwan <3 โง |
| Common consensus seems to have slight issues with friendships involving minors (which makes sense), with less concern once both parties are established adults. Once you get up into the 'working' demographics I don't think a significant plutonic age gap is weird at all - at 25/26 my work bestie was in her 50s; her daughter was older than I was. |
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| I mean yeah if you're down for it to be something out of a bad 80's movie where you found a friend in the mot unlikeliest of places... On second thought, let's just steer clear lol. |
| I CELEBRATE myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you. |
| no there should not be a limit and yes that would be ok. The people saying otherwise are idiots. |
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| not really to an extent nuance is important. When i was 14 my friend was 19 but he was my neighbour so it was ok. The context is going to decide whether it's creepy and not ok or perfectly fine |
| Tough to say that it would stay like this but... yes? I guess. |
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| I mean I feel like that anything can go wrong with that but it also depends on the context, plus the maturity difference is huge. Thats a freshmen talking to someone about the graduate from college. ¯\_(ใ)_/¯ |
   "๐ผ ๐๐๐๐๐ญ ๐๐ฝ๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐พ๐ ๐๐๐'๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ฝ๐๐ ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐"  โฉ [TATTOO ARI -Number Girl] โฉ 0:00 ใโโโโโโ 3:26 โบ |โ II โท| โก |
| Yes, because whenever I see a kid I should be a complete dick to them because apparently I'm too old to reciprocate empathy. ๐ |
| My subjective reviews: katsureview.wordpress.com THE CHAT CLUB. |
| No, but at 21 I personally wouldn’t want to be associated with anyone under ~15 or 16 just for the optics. |
| I am in my mid 30s. And I talk to alot of minors online. I don't send them any porn, however. That would be illegal. |
| Casual and infrequent contact could be okay, but, personally, I try to maintain a respectful distance with people who are significantly younger than I am. If I were 23, the most I'd have to say to a 14-year-old would be "good morning" or "go finish your homework." I wouldn't inquire about their personal lives, etc. |
| Being "just friends" with a younger lady is kinda waste, that should definitely be illegal. |
| Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. |
| I more-or-less agree with what a lot of others have already said. As one gets older, age gaps matter less, if both of them are adults. Online can be kinda hard, because you don't always know another person's age. Case in point: Back when I was eighteen, I was getting to know someone on Crunchyroll, and later I found out she was thirteen. Which surprised me, because she typed and communicated better than most people my age, lol. But we were always just friends, and tbh, when I found out she was that much younger than I was, I got a little protective and wouldn't talk about certain things as much, because it seemed weird. And except for a few years we didn't talk, we're still friends now. Maturity can matter more than age with friendship, within reason. Like, if I found out someone I was talking with now was a minor? That'd be fucking weird, since I'm in my thirties, lol. To the other end, I've had (mainly online) friends a decade or two older than me, since my late teens, lol. Tl;dr version being, as long as you're not a creep, it isn't usually a problem. |
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| No. Why is someone who's graduated college or been out in the workforce for a few years have in common with a girl who's in middle school or early stages of high school. Even if they were the same gender, there still would be some red-flags. |
| Limits do not necessarily need to be legally enforced, they exist in many societal norms. The situation you are are describing is already outside of reasonable limits in many communities across the world and peer pressure/family pressure may start being introduced to stop the situation from going further. Criminalising such a situation would create an unrealistic burden on police and courts, total loss of agency for perceived victims and also encroach on article 8 rights for all involved. Law already exists in relation to people underage here in the UK where there is an actual crime. This is something that can be managed by the community/local government, which they generally do ok with in most non-shithole countries/regions outside of cults - for example simply separating activities/sessions into age groups can give children the best opportunity to make friends around their age and place adults with other adults. |
| the official MAL hall of fame/cursed comments is now open for business - you are welcome to PM me any potential quotes to include |
| context matters a lot ig tho it is very weird when an adult is spending all their free time with a bunch of 15yos |
| Sure, when you're young. But once you hit 25 you gotta give up all your friends and starting working full time in the minesfor the man |
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| I generally think there should be an age limit period. The second you turn a certain age you get set to Carousel You know...to help with Social Security. |
vasipi4946Yesterday, 6:39 PM
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| Yuck. Show me one 23yo guy that wants to hang out with a girl that just gotten used to getting her period. What are you doing? Yes. That would be weird. There's nothing "bad" about this...really But I would always ask why. Why isn't the 23yo hanging out with other 23 year olds. Why does he prefer beeing around people 9 years younger than him? o.O Doesn't seem healthy. |
Merve2LoveYesterday, 6:46 PM
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| I mean imo there's a natural age limit to friendships. The age gap can only be so big before one of the two friends stops being a peer and the relationship ends up with a master-student dynamic, big brother-little brother dynamic, or just ends up broken since there's not much to relate to as a 23 year old man speaking with a 14 year old or something lol. Maturity levels at such a big difference can also be pretty jarring, which can easily tear two "friends" apart. |
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Thy-Veseveia said: Yes, because I have better things to do than to regulate or complain about what others do, especially when they are old enough to decide for themselves with whom they want to hang out or spend time with in generalLike if you were to see a 23yo guy talking and hanging out with a 14 or 15yo girl (they're just friends ,nothing sexual) ,would that be ok with you? Merve2Love said: Perhaps it's an artificial situation to have just same-age groups and perhaps a person from a different age group happens to be a better person to that 23 year oldWhy isn't the 23yo hanging out with other 23 year olds. zombie_pegasus said: That's because of appearance and indoctrination of keeping to your own age group instead of focusing on the resultsA 13 year old might end up befriending a 60 year old if they happen to have the same interests, while they would be unlikely to have that opportunity IRL since people tend to be around people closer to their own age in the real world. Crawlie said: There can be various things: shared music taste, favorite books, movies, series, values, mindsets, etcWhy is someone who's graduated college or been out in the workforce for a few years have in common with a girl who's in middle school or early stages of high school. A different occupation does not make someone necessarily a totally different person Kamikaze_404 said: That is not a given. It can also be on equal footing and it's actually easier for the older party to relate to the troubles of someone younger as the older ones were the younger ones themselvesThe age gap can only be so big before one of the two friends stops being a peer and the relationship ends up with a master-student dynamic, big brother-little brother dynamic, or just ends up broken since there's not much to relate to as a 23 year old man speaking with a 14 year old or something lol. |
| As people get older, the age gap tends to matter less, but a 23 year old definitely shouldn't hang out with a 14 year old girl. Would you want your 14 year old daughter to be hanging out with someone who's a 23 year old dude? |
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| I love how people just expose themselves as sexists in these topics lol |
Rhaelynne said: As people get older, the age gap tends to matter less, but a 23 year old definitely shouldn't hang out with a 14 year old girl. This. Really depends on the ages. I mean, there is nothing inherently wrong with an adult and a child being friends, but you have to look at it through the lens of society and an adult male being friendly with a much younger female will definitely raise eyebrows. When I met my last girlfriend, I was 42 and she was 33. That's nothing. However, if I hooked up with her when I was 20, it'd be sick. The ages more than the range really make the difference. For what OP mentioned? Definitely on the not-so-good side. It's fine to be friendly, but if I were that guy I'd never be alone with a girl that young. I'd always make sure she had a parent with us. Plus when you get a big age gap, especially with one being a kid, it gets more and more unlikely for someone to have any common ground to establish a real/solid friendship anyway. |
| I remember having to team up with 15 yos in video games when I was 19 and it already felt very weird tbh. I can't imagine having a friend this young. |
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