| in the modern world of social media and the internet, are we too focused on how we look/act? do people too often hide their real selves or look down upon themselves/ others for how their personality is or how they are physically? discuss ^^ |
Moe_BlobMay 7, 2019 11:00 AM
| To be honest, I think so. If the society was less focused on appearances, less people would feel insecure about themselves. |
| even before widespread use of the internet, magazines and tv did the job the book: "amusing ourselves to death" raises a lot of good points on the internet and tv: https://highexistence.com/amusing-ourselves-to-death-huxley-vs-orwell/ tl;dr the internet is giving us so much information, so much so that we are reduced to passivity and egotism, drowned in novelty and redundancy of it all. i'd say yeah, people hide and mask themselves when they are not content with themselves and on the internet, you can always find ways you don't measure up, with the whole: "everything you want to get good at is already done by a 5 year old chinese girl", others having perfect delicious buff bodies :9, etc |
NthDegree said: humans are insecure as it is, but the way culture rewards those who act/look a certain way makes it even worse, you're rightTo be honest, I think so. If the society was less focused on appearances, less people would feel insecure about themselves. |
Maneki-Mew said: Your physical appearance (incl. your posture, gesture, hygiene, clothes, eventually parfume, how you look at people, behave etc...) is literally the first thing people see. It would be a lie to say that one doesn't get a first impression and an idea, if they could like somebody or not. It doesn't have to be true in every case, tho. Also it's not a "modern world" thing. This always had been there. And what is this mysterious "real self" even meant to be? That's often a very corny phrase and nothing more. I get it, people fake to lead better lives online than they actually do, but it always has been like that. Some people buy stuff like expensive cars they don't need to impress their neighbours and relatives. Today, it's easier to show it a broader audience and not your personal environment alone. it's true that keeping a good hygene/overall appearance is important, though that's just cleaning and dressing yourself properly. this is more of a 'nobody will like me if i look this way' rather than 'people won't see me for who i really am if i look this way' problem, if that makes sense. and it's the modern broadness that makes it worse nowadays, because everyone can see everyone else, and it's easier to create an online persona |
jesteri said: as i said in the above message, it's how everyone can create any image of themselves on the internet as they want, as well as being able to easily manipulate that through Photoshop for appearance, etc. though as you say the sheer broadness of the internet can also exemplify feelings of inadequacy...even before widespread use of the internet, magazines and tv did the job the book: "amusing ourselves to death" raises a lot of good points on the internet and tv: https://highexistence.com/amusing-ourselves-to-death-huxley-vs-orwell/ tl;dr the internet is giving us so much information, so much so that we are reduced to passivity and egotism, drowned in novelty and redundancy of it all. i'd say yeah, people hide and mask themselves when they are not content with themselves and on the internet, you can always find ways you don't measure up, with the whole: "everything you want to get good at is already done by a 5 year old chinese girl", others having perfect delicious buff bodies :9, etc |
| I think good looks are an important factor for many people. A few years ago, I noticed at some point that I did everything to look good to other people, not caring about my own opinion. I wanted people to see me as a beautiful individual, mainly out of fear of being locked out of society. I'm not like that any more, but I still take care of my appearance. The difference is, however, that I only listen to my own opinions now. Thinking back, I still understand the intentions of my younger self, although I don't care as much as I did back then. In the end, whatever you do, people will judge you regardless. You wear make-up? Wow, surely you only do that to impress the boys. You don't wear make-up? Come on, don't let yourself go too far! You're skinny? Eat more! You're chubby? Stop eating. Don't let others decide on you is all I can say. I know it's easier said than done, though. |
  I will show no mercy for you You had no mercy for me The only thing that I ask Love me mercilessly |
Haptism93 said: that was a brave step of yours to be honest, and it's true that thinking positively of yourself is a lot more important than what others think of you (though i don't really care about either XD) and the point about being judged regardless is the truth. i'd be lying if i said i don't think that girls that wear a lot of makeups are being slutty, for lack of a better word, though i do think that if we all judged people less the world would be a far greater placeI think good looks are an important factor for many people. A few years ago, I noticed at some point that I did everything to look good to other people, not caring about my own opinion. I wanted people to see me as a beautiful individual, mainly out of fear of being locked out of society. I'm not like that any more, but I still take care of my appearance. The difference is, however, that I only listen to my own opinions now. Thinking back, I still understand the intentions of my younger self, although I don't care as much as I did back then. In the end, whatever you do, people will judge you regardless. You wear make-up? Wow, surely you only do that to impress the boys. You don't wear make-up? Come on, don't let yourself go too far! You're skinny? Eat more! You're chubby? Stop eating. Don't let others decide on you is all I can say. I know it's easier said than done, though. |
| It really boils down to the person I suppose. But i do firmly believe that social media and this modern day in age, has some effect on our thought process. I mean, it doesn't take long to see that everyone is constantly glued to their phones, and people always care about the way they look as result of the way their idols appeal. Everyone has someone they look up to, and people will try to mimic, or impersonate the one they idolize. I mean, for me, i just don't care about how i look. I mean, I take basic care of myself, but I don't go the extra lengths that some people do. I lack motivation, but I also have no interest in social media platforms, besides MAL and Discord if you wanna include those two. On the contrary, I think social media and the way it seems to control some people is fine. Let them live their own life. But I'll watch silently from the sidelines because I can't be bothered to commit to something on a such a level. Especially when it all seems so pointless to me. But yeah, in conclusion; People care about their appearances to almost unhealthy degrees, but who cares. They're not hurting anyone, besides possibly themselves. |
  i'm a worm |
| Try this exercise. Think of something positive you might hear from an attractive person. A compliment, teasing, some gratitude, whatever. Now visualize Wilford Brimley saying it to you instead. Do you value what you hear equally in light of Wilford's flopping jowls and ghastly features? If not, then you are no better than the superficial folks you condemn. |
| Yeah I care about my appearance, I like to wear shit I like and things I look good in, hygiene not even gonna mention since it's basic and really important altho this is only for me, I wouldn't really care if random people don't give a fuck about themselves and what not since it's their lives y'know |
| This is an interesting thread-not cause of the OP but the responses. There once was a fellow that suggested an idea about people and how we consciously hide our "real selves"--sure you can connect it to something involving social media, persons and social appearance; some already have. |
| "In the end the World really doesn't need a Superman. Just a Brave one" |
| Of course people are focused on appearances. It's the first impression you get when you meet someone or just look at a stranger on the street. That's why I send heavily photo shopped pictures to the girls I talk to on online dating sites. The lies will cover the truth, the lies will make everything better again... |
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| yes and the internet amplifies that too, heck there are studies showing that social media makes a lot of people sad or depressed for comparing themselves to the beautiful selfies of their friends and strangers heck look here on MAL, i bet some significant amount of users would rather show beautiful/sexy anime characters than their selfies |
BallistikJuice said: deg said: yes and the internet amplifies that too, heck there are studies showing that social media makes a lot of people sad or depressed for comparing themselves to the beautiful selfies of their friends and strangers heck look here on MAL, i bet some significant amount of users would rather show beautiful/sexy anime characters than their selfies So, you are saying the more ugly they're in real life the sexier Anime pictures they'll use in their profiles and signatures?! mhh..interesting, but I also think, there is another quite simple reason to it as well, some people just don't want some creepy "chick" with a dick jerking off on their photo. nah im not saying that but that is a possibility and also of course a lot of users also do not post their selfies for privacy reasons |
| yes definitely. i mean it's relevant enough for many people online to hide behind a persona or an image of sorts that usually more accurately reflects how they want to be rather than how they actually are. i don't have a problem with it because i understand why they might do so but the fact is that appearance or one's image is important enough that a lot of people are willing to lie about it. |
| They want to feel validated. It all stems from growing up and wanting approval from your parents and peers. |
 It’s okay to look back at the past, just don’t stare too long |
| why yes the external should be a representation of the internal self. this is how we get ourselves across in the external world. how you gonna live in a world where it literally doesn’t give a shit about your insides, but rather focuses on your actions, and what you do? it’s the external that represents the internal. however, the external isn’t always the representation of the internal. blah blah don’t judge a book by its cover, or appearances can be deceiving. now, do people use it for vanity? yes also, this idea of “appearance” will vary in meaning from person to person, and culture to culture. what one person finds disgust in, another person may worship it. would it be cool to not rely on the external too much and reduce things by idea? in other words, to view everything with an objective view and not attaching personal feelings? hell ya it’s cool. however, people like to weigh value in importance and meaning. some things will make people feel a certain way. |
p0ckyyMay 6, 2019 10:45 PM
| It is most likely because your appearance tells a lot about yourself. I don't know if there is even anything to discuss here. Both the appearance and personality are important. You even said that we are focused on "how people act" - well no shit, I doubt there's even a single person who doesn't give a fuck about that. I mean I'm not saying that a fat public masturbator who showers once a year can't have a nice soul and personality, I'm just saying that it is very very unlikely. It's like going to a job interview completely naked. Yes, it shouldn't be about your looks but let's face it if your don't meet at least the basic criteria nobody is going to give a fuck about the rest. |
| Nowadays not people in general but Men, i see often that Men are worrying more about their appearance than women, Young Male are generally metrosexual, they use make-up, they workout hours in the gym, they are often spending money in brands clothes. Women on other hand are not giving a f*** about their looks, since we have low standards for female, all they are looking for is college, money and status, appearance goes right after these, most of them are not even shaving downstairs or their "moustache", since they are independant and dont need to please Men anymore. The Marylin Monroe stereotype is over. |
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| If that were the case ugly people wouldn't exist. |
| This isn't an issue of today, this is something rooted in most of human history. We've honestly lowered our standards though frankly, we're just more aware of other's self-conscious attitudes, you couldn't go outside without looking like you're ready to go to a wedding back in the 20's for instance (at least I think that was the case, could be wrong) |
   Why don’t we become monsters and really mess up this awful world? Just destroy until there’s no more evil, no more sadness, no more anything… Wouldn’t that be great? |
| There are few things after all. Alot of social media or apps etc. Give you a chance to meet someone or to dunno do something with others , and first what you can see is their real pictures so there you rate someone by look like , and then by personality. I don't care about all of it , if someone is friendly to me I will be friendly to him too , no matter if he's a Rich person , Celeb, a Thug or anyone. About myself well I will choose the clothes which I like , I don't act anyone I am always "myself" no matter if it's IRL or in internet , and about appearance well I will once repair my hairs after waking up with my hand (without checking it in mirror) and that's all. |
| on the internet, and social media, we are constantly comparing ourselves to other people and what they have. instagram is honestly one of those places where people show off their appearance but often their good appearances can portray bad personalities. |
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| Yes. I have feelings of worthlessness when I feel like I don't look acceptable. It really doesn't matter that much. |
| I think it depends on the individual. Some people buy into the high beauty standards set by social media and advertising campaigns and some don't. Personally I don't worry too much about my looks, but I don't think there's anything wrong with people who do. |
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| For me I want someone with looks and good manners and good personality |
| depends on the standard i guess. if its a professional thing then appearance matters 101%. if you are just going to the grocery store, then prob not, but circumstances vary |
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NthDegree said: They would just be insecure about whatever other thing that is focused on in its stead, surely?To be honest, I think so. If the society was less focused on appearances, less people would feel insecure about themselves. |
 It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the courts, it means "anything that shocks the magistrate". — Bertrand Russell |
Sphinxter said: NthDegree said: They would just be insecure about whatever other thing that is focused on in its stead, surely?To be honest, I think so. If the society was less focused on appearances, less people would feel insecure about themselves. Although it's unrealistic to say all insecurities would disappear, you have to admit that the amount of pressure the media and the society place on looks is quite unique. Things like eating disorders are a clear proof of that. I don't even think all stress disappearing would be good for you. In general, we should always aim for balance. So even if taking off the pressure on looks would just spread it around other aspects, I think that would be a healthy thing. |
NthDegree said: I don't think it to be any worse than other things like say status, not using drugs (that aren't alcohol), owning an automotive vehicle, procreating, remaining pure before marriage and what-not depending on where one live.Sphinxter said: They would just be insecure about whatever other thing that is focused on in its stead, surely? Although it's unrealistic to say all insecurities would disappear, you have to admit that the amount of pressure the media and the society place on looks is quite unique. Things like eating disorders are a clear proof of that. I don't even think all stress disappearing would be good for you. In general, we should always aim for balance. So even if taking off the pressure on looks would just spread it around other aspects, I think that would be a healthy thing. Do you really experience greater pressure to be beautiful than to not use drugs? |
It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the courts, it means "anything that shocks the magistrate". — Bertrand Russell |
Sphinxter said: NthDegree said: I don't think it to be any worse than other things like say status, not using drugs (that aren't alcohol), owning an automotive vehicle, procreating, remaining pure before marriage and what-not depending on where one live.Although it's unrealistic to say all insecurities would disappear, you have to admit that the amount of pressure the media and the society place on looks is quite unique. Things like eating disorders are a clear proof of that. I don't even think all stress disappearing would be good for you. In general, we should always aim for balance. So even if taking off the pressure on looks would just spread it around other aspects, I think that would be a healthy thing. Do you really experience greater pressure to be beautiful than to not use drugs?I'm not sure why you'd equate something that causes dependence on a physical level like drugs to societal pressure that's mental. Not to mention I have never heard of anyone who became mentally ill because they didn't own a car. |
| MAL is andy in this scene when it comes to outfits https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ja2fgquYTCg |
| the official MAL hall of fame/cursed comments is now open for business - you are welcome to PM me any potential quotes to include |
| In general, no. People acts the same as always, only the audience is potentially bigger. When it comes to clothing, I think people care less or in the best case as little as always. 90% of the people form 6 to 66 just cover themselves with sneakers, jeans and t-shirts. |
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| i think we as human beings are focused on appearances. It's natural, it's the reason we have eyes in the first place. Ever since the time of ancient civilizations, people have been focused on appearances for status, beauty, worship..etc And honestly its not a bad thing...Focusing on appearances is fine in moderation. |
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