Do you have double standards when it comes to romance with age gap?
| I always thought I didn't mind age gaps but when I watched Koi wa Ameagari no you ni, the romance really made me uncomfortable seeing a high school girl being in love with a middle aged man. Then again have ships that I like with major age gaps like Nanami x Tomoe from Kamisama Hajimemashita where Tomoe looks around the same age as Nanami and I never really thought about what they would look like years from now when Nanami would certainly grow older but Tomoe would remain the same. Then there is Glass no Kamen where there is quite a visible age gap which is even more visual due to Maya having a small stature and Hayami Masumi being rather big. And those who have watched the series certainly know about all the things that happened specially the case with Maya's mother. Despite all that I like the pair. Coming to Super Lovers, I couldn't even get myself to finish it. I promise you that it wasn't the "gay" that creeped me out but the way Haru treated Ren. Age gap also beings in another topic - reincarnation, there are a few series when the love interest dies and is reincarnated but the other continues to age (most of these are supernatural beings who don't actually age anyways). But would you find it creepy for them to fall in love with their lover's reincarnated form? I never really found Inuyasha x Kagome to be creepy (although my ship was Inuyasha x Kikyou). So basically, to me looks do play a role, I'm fine with a teenager being with someone in their twenties but either of them being in their 40s or 50s with visible aging or underage doesn't settle down too well with me but then again it depends on how well written the relationship is. The more it enters into the realm of fetish the creepier it gets. What about you guys? |
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| Love is love. Aversions to age-gap romance is a learned response that comes from twisted sex-negative societal norms that evolved over time due to religious mass brainwashing. There's literally nothing about age gaps which are objectively harmful. If people are happy then it's all good. That's all that ever matters. If one or more people are doing something that brings them joy while not harming anyone else then anyone who has a "problem" and wants to inject negativity in to such a situation which, before their intrusion, contained only feelings of joy, are toxic people who should be avoided. It is the exact same attitude that has and continues to oppress LGBT people across the world. Live and let live. Love and let love. Only there is a certain breed of perpetually angry people who never love and barely live so I guess those are hard concepts for some. And look, I don't mean to paint people like OP with that brush. For some it's a mild sense of aversion which they're aware of and are open to questioning. And as long as they maintain an open mind and keep expanding their horizons maybe they'll eventually get past their learned bias. We all have some kind of bias. I find it funny looking at how open today's younger people are about gay stuff, like joking about being gay with their friends. I grew up in a very different society and still carry some of those biases with me. We all need to ask ourselves when we go to make a judgment, "am I bringing negativity in to a situation in which people are happy?" And that's all I have to say about that. Not returning to this thread. |
| “In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.” -Friedrich Nietzsche Aggregate scoring is bad for the anime fandom |
YossaRedMage said: I don't know what you are mad about but I'm talking about anime not real life. Surely you have some preferences when it comes to what anime you like and what you don't, right?And look, I don't mean to paint people like OP with that brush. |
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| As long as the relationship doesn't come down to an adult literally trying to manipulate a child,age gap romances are fine.I think mutual love between both parties is the more important thing here. |
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garyType1 said: But UchiMusume isn't about romance, is it? Dale treats Latina like his daughter. And now that you mention it, I'm watching Hanako-kun and didn't even think of it.If its anime, if they write the story well it should be acceptable but idk tho, since I only have experience of watching Zetsubou Sensei and If It's for My Daughter, I'd Even Defeat a Demon Lord (long nameeeee). Oh, Hanako-kun too (age gap in some way). |
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BlakexEkalb said: If a 7 year old and a 40 year old love each other, love is love. @YossaRedMage agrees with me. 7 year olds are naive,there's no way that would work without the 40 year old manipulating the child in some way.It's an unbalanced relationship now matter how I see it. PS:I know you´re being sarcastic. |
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| age gap yuri is simply the best why is there no anime about mc's mom who steals his gf?? |
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| Too unspecific. I don't mind age gaps when both are adults. It only gets problematic when one party is underage. In that case I find both creepy. |
| I have no problem with big age gaps involving two consenting adults, and I really like those stories tbh. I've been in that kind of relationship before so I can relate. |
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| Age gap is absolutely not an issue for me. At worst, I'd find a 6 year old and a 50 year old creepy, but I wouldn't block its existence on the basis that its fiction. But like, a 15 year old and a 30 year old? I don't give a shit. 18 being the universal age of consent is an American moral value seeping its way to the rest of the world. And considering America has shitty, very religion-based, very prudish moral values? Lmao no. The circumcision movement in that country was literally spearheaded with the intent to make masturbation less pleasurable. There's why you get your dicks mutilated when you're children, Muricans. Obviously, I want no part in shit like this. In my home country it's 14, under the conditions that intercourse isn't filmed or photographed in any way, shape, or form. I go with that, meaning it's all pretty fucking acceptable to me. America's AoC also a pretty high age of consent relative to the majority of the world. Think Turkey and Ireland are the only countries with land in Europe that match it. And outside of Europe, it can be *too* free for all for reason in many places. So no. I'm not an American, and I'm not a European who pretends to be an American. Age gap relationships as they're depicted in anime are 100% fine. They can fuck off to England if they want to be American footstools, they'd fit right in. On top of that? It's fiction. I'm not going to apply real-life moral values to it. I'm not going to give a shit. And no amount of paranoid, fearmongering rhetoric is going to make me give a shit. |
ManabanMar 27, 2020 10:18 AM
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| Yeah I really care if it involves very young / underage people. No matter how you spin it it's creepy |
"Whether you're sad, you're hurt, or empty, you have to keep playing."  |
| I love KoiAme. Anyway, I don't have a problem with it, if they emotionally have true feelings for each other that's the best situation. But they need to be strong together to evade the public downgrading them. The social norm is the biggest hurdle. Also, they need to think twice about having children because one parent may pass away too early(eg:- a couple of 25 and 50). |
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| It's fine as long as one of them is like more than twice the age of that of the other one. Then it obviously has issues. |
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| I’m fine with an age gap as long as it doesn’t involve children. If the age gap is a 14 year old and a 40 year old, nah that shits wack. |
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| Most of the general public has a huge double standard when it comes to this even those who try to pretend that gender is a social construct. Every week or two theres another case in the news of a high school teacher having an affair with one of her male students. Nobody ever makes a big fuss about it unlike the massive controversy around the shocking, unbelievable revelation that aspiring Hollywood actresses (of legal age) pimp themselves out to bigshots in the industry in order to get jobs. In other words, men are pigs and it's always the man's fault. |
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| I love age gap romance but a teenager with a dude old enough to be her father is really gross to me. xD That's why I won't watch KoiAme....it's too "......wtf how can you love that old guy?" Unrelatable. If it's a kid with a young adult character or teen....that can work as a fictional story...but it depends on how old the kid is, how old the older character is and how BOTH of them act around each other and how skilled the author is. Some can pull off such a story...and some definitely cannot. What works for me: Satsuriku No Tenshi, Kodomo No Jikan, Takane To Hana What does NOT work for me: Happy Sugar Life, Loveless, Usagi Drop's manga. Why these work/don't work |
ChiibiMar 27, 2020 11:14 AM
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| Id both are adults... have fun. If one didn't even get to his 20 and the other is close to thirty or more... That's too much for me |
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Peaceful_Critic said: Fiction can get away with almost anything, as long as the show isn't trying to push it as some sort of moral. That said, personally, in fiction, age gaps that bug me are more visible as I can just pretend the ages of the characters if they appear similar in age. So Usagi and Mamoru don't bother me When I found out Mamoru was a college student in the anime, I was so shocked. xD No wonder Usagi's father freaked out...hahaha. He is only 17 in the manga...wonder why they changed his age so much. o___O |
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| As long as there's no case of grooming, don't really care if consenting adults are with each other. Goes with real life and 2D. |
What a beautiful Duwang |
| If it's well done like after the rain, then go ahead. |
| People who uses MAL forums are mostly bug people, take their speech with a grain of salt. Professional Supreme Gentleman - 恋人はあなたが選んだ兄弟です https://www.reddit.com/r/AnimeElitism/ (AnimeElitism Reddit) https://discord.gg/4kdGsFG (Dead Discord) 2静か先生88#7307 |
Peaceful_Critic said: Chiibi said: This is a deja vu moment for some reason. That's curious. When I found out Mamoru was a college student in the anime, I was so shocked. xD No wonder Usagi's father freaked out...hahaha. He is only 17 in the manga...wonder why they changed his age so much. o___O Sometimes I repeat myself because my memory is crappy. xD |
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| The OP used the phrase "double standard". That to me would imply rules that differ depending on the gender of the parties involved. If older male/younger female is okay but older female/younger male is not, that's a double standard. Same if it's vice versa. |
A møøse once bit my sister... |
| I'm intuitively wary and slightly repulsed by big age gaps in romance because it suggests a certain uncomfortable character dynamic. But if I get to see the whole thing and understand the relationship from the inside and the beginning and it's not creepy, then I won't mind. E.g. in "Koi wa Ameagari no you ni" it was basically one-sided from the POV of the girl and I didn't find it creepy at all. It would have been creepy if it was the other way around and he was in love and kept following her around or if he was actively leading her on or taking advantage of her feelings without being serious about it himself. So yeah, it depends on the exact circumstances whether it's creepy or not, but I feel it's more likely for there to be an uncomfortable character dynamic the larger the age gap is. |
| I probably regret this post by now. |
| I love KoiAme, but I love it on the basis that it's an exploration of two individuals through a relationship that can't be called romantic. It's the story of a crush basically that further develops into a friendship and it's through this friendship that both characters get the spotlight. Age gaps on the other hand depend not only on the overall difference but on the actual ages and the level of maturity of the characters. It's certainly not the same when both are adults than when one of them is a minor and the other is an adult. I can certainly say that 15 x 40 is gross to me but 30 x 60 really isn't, and the latter is technically a bigger age gap. On the other hand, double standards, at least in the sort of reductive way they are discussed here, are very common and inevitable. We are not always completely in tone with our own set of rules, particularly in fiction, and particularly when there are different approaches to the same concept. Just because I dislike the concept of age gap romance doesn't mean I won't enjoy any age gap romance story. |
| I don't have double standards, if the anime is cool I'm ok with it, the only thing that creeped me out was Norie's infatuation towards her friend's little brother who's is like 7 years old, it's not romance but damn, that girl couldn't keep her hands away from the little boy, and in one episode she's keeping him in her lap... anyways, Tamayura was cool. |
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| I don't mind age gap as long as either party is not a damn kid. Maturity doesn't count if the character is still underage. Some requirements and things: 1. The older party MUST NOT show any romantic interest in an underage, it's creepy af. 2. The opposite is still acceptable, more like a silly/simple/childish crush on their teacher/idol, etc. 3. If the older party realize an underage is interested in them, they have to IGNORE and not groom them instead, it's creepy, period. 4. Age gap romance only happen after the younger party at least of legal age. 5. If the age gap is big, the younger party at least have to be more mature than their average age group. Meaning, there have to be a background story of why that character forced to mature despite young age. 6. Age doesn't mean a single fuck if they have the physic of a kid. I can't ship Krul with anyone even though she is like some thousands yo. 7. The opposite also doesn't count, a kid by age but in the appearance of an adult. No. 8. My OTP doesn't work. I once stumbled upon a Bakugou x Midoriya doujinshi, in which Bakugou turned into a kid but with memories still intact, only the appearance. It's R18 doujinshi and I had to stop reading I almost threw up. I'm not sure if this is bias on my part, but I do like Koko x Jonah, obviously romance only happen when Jonah had grown up (I only read aged-up/future fanfic with this pairing). And I see Koko's affection towards Jonah as just part of her personality. But idk, if the sex is reversed (Koko is male and Jonah is female), I think I'd be disgusted. So far, only Koko x Jonah that had me confused about my own take in this matter. About Koko's affection towards Jonah. She kissed and hugged him until he blushed. Even though Jonah is still a kid, I found it cute. This doesn't work in any other ship, so far. I have my fair share of other age gap ships such as: Gintoki x Kagura Sandor x Arya Zuko x Toph However, all three of them, the older one doesn't show affection like Koko is to Jonah. The real romance only happen in fanfic, in which the character are aged up/or the story is set in the future when the younger one is an adult. In canon, there is nothing romantic at all about them and I like it that way because they are still kids. I just like the idea of when they had grown up and their bond change with time spent together. I'd be disgusted if the older one actually do anything romantic when the younger one is still a kid. GOSH. Now I can't help but imagining it, help me I wanna throw up especially Sandor and Arya ughhh. |
CrimsonMidnightMar 27, 2020 1:19 PM
 OTP: KidLaw | IzuKatsu | GureShin | EruRi | AoKi | See more!» My art » My translation » Doujinshi collection » Favorite Kurobas doujinshi BISHIES X RAP |
| I actually think it's funny how people think age gaps in romance anime are "weird" like romance anime where there's a large age gap, but then at the same time, lolis and shotas are completely normalized. I think age gap anime tends to be more mature and deal with more mature topics so I welcome it. Romance anime will always appeal more to the girls/guys who want to envision themselves with a hot guy or hot girl, so that's where the age gap thing stops being appealing for some watchers. I like it though and I hope there's more of it. |
| In anime no because it is fictionalized animated characters and if you actually are going to be serious about it you could even go into the actual problems of said relationship. Of course I don't have a double standard because I don't have one IRL. An older guy with a younger girl isn't more weird than an older girl with a guy. The problem is a lot of people in our society do have a double standard when it comes to that stuff. |
| I don't really care about age-gaps as long as both individuals are legal, but at the same time I don't particularly enjoy it to the point that I'd watch something because it had that. I also don't think there's anything wrong with a series exploring an underage person's crush on someone older than them. It's common for children/teenagers to fall for people who are older than them in real life so it makes sense it'd be explored in anime. It's only wrong when the older person reciprocates the feelings, as its illegal and they should know better. Regardless of if it's fiction or not, I wouldn't want to see something illegal and morally wrong played out romantically like that. If it is portrayed as wrong in the show then that's fair, but I doubt I'd want to watch it. |
 ♡ artist サコ |
heydaycapriccio said: I don't really care about age-gaps as long as both individuals are legal, but at the same time I don't particularly enjoy it to the point that I'd watch something because it had that. I also don't think there's anything wrong with a series exploring an underage person's crush on someone older than them. It's common for children/teenagers to fall for people who are older than them in real life so it makes sense it'd be explored in anime. It's only wrong when the older person reciprocates the feelings, as its illegal and they should know better. Regardless of if it's fiction or not, I wouldn't want to see something illegal and morally wrong played out romantically like that. If it is portrayed as wrong in the show then that's fair, but I doubt I'd want to watch it. It's illegal to feel things? Wild! How do the police even know? |
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epidemia78 said: heydaycapriccio said: I don't really care about age-gaps as long as both individuals are legal, but at the same time I don't particularly enjoy it to the point that I'd watch something because it had that. I also don't think there's anything wrong with a series exploring an underage person's crush on someone older than them. It's common for children/teenagers to fall for people who are older than them in real life so it makes sense it'd be explored in anime. It's only wrong when the older person reciprocates the feelings, as its illegal and they should know better. Regardless of if it's fiction or not, I wouldn't want to see something illegal and morally wrong played out romantically like that. If it is portrayed as wrong in the show then that's fair, but I doubt I'd want to watch it. It's illegal to feel things? Wild! How do the police even know? I guess I should've specified liking them back to the point of wanting to pursue a relationship. If an 8 year old has an innocent crush on their 40 year old teacher, and the teacher feels the same way, then there's something wrong and I personally wouldn't watch a show depicting that. |
| ♡ artist サコ |
heydaycapriccio said: I'm presuming this is on the basis that the show, and by extension, the shows creators make it blatant within the context of the show that they support such a pairing?I guess I should've specified liking them back to the point of wanting to pursue a relationship. If an 8 year old has an innocent crush on their 40 year old teacher, and the teacher feels the same way, then there's something wrong and I personally wouldn't watch a show depicting that. Or would it be different if it was within the context of them making clear that this was a moral wrong? |
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| More age gap, greater age gap = Better content. I tend to have the same stance on all age gap romances and relationships - that of enthusiastic support. That doesn't mean all are presented equally well obviously as every series is very much its own beast, but I enthusiastically support all 100% in principle at least. So I voted for the last option. To me though there are legitimate fetishes, some of which I can identify with or at least see the appeal in (age gap and lolis in general, incest, interspecies romance, etc.), and others which repulse me (not necessarily anything I've seen portrayed in anime, but more real life stuff revolving around certain bodily secretions as one example), but out of all of them, age gap seems like one of the most tame imaginable. It's completely natural biological programming to be physically and sexually attracted to anyone past the age of puberty, so even considering it a fetish in a way seems stupid. I only acknowledge it as such because it's culturally in many countries in the present age perceived that way, but to me this age gap love doesn't even seem like fetishistic sexuality or niche sexuality, but merely basic human sexuality. It's a very milquetoast fetish at heart. Those who are against relationships, even media portrayals of them, because they don't satisfy some ever-changing legal criteria in whichever country or culture they hail from - something that changes in every era and every jurisdiction - probably derive most or all of their other opinions in a similar manner, but this is just conformism and belief through osmostic assimilation rather than a position that's usually arrived at deliberately and logically. The bottom line is that if it features age gap love, no matter the details or the other factors at play, I'm at least a lot more likely to give watching it a shot. I'm only really interested in transgressive romance and age is a major factor in that so it's a vital ingredient! |
WatchTillTandavaAug 31, 2022 6:16 AM
Tylaen said: heydaycapriccio said: I'm presuming this is on the basis that the show, and by extension, the shows creators make it blatant within the context of the show that they support such a pairing?I guess I should've specified liking them back to the point of wanting to pursue a relationship. If an 8 year old has an innocent crush on their 40 year old teacher, and the teacher feels the same way, then there's something wrong and I personally wouldn't watch a show depicting that. Or would it be different if it was within the context of them making clear that this was a moral wrong? Yeah, if the show was made to romanticise the pairing then I'm completely against it. If the show is made to explore the immorality of it and make it pretty clear that they're not condoning it, then I can understand why it'd be made. I still wouldn't watch it though as I'm not okay with that subject matter regardless. |
| ♡ artist サコ |
| considering everyone in anime looks young and hot it doesn't really bother me. But I do like the older younger thing but only towards woman |
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| i personally don't find appeal in big age gaps, but i can sorta tolerate/appreciate the whole 'it's love!!!!" thing I really only have a problem with it when it's a matter of a super younger party in a position where they're being robbed of a clear and independently autonomous choice for instance if you're being arranged married off right after high-school to some well-off business dude, yea, i don't think that's really OK |
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