| Hey MAL users I have a situation I would like some new perspectives on. So basically I have this girl that I chill with all the time (less recently). I guess you could call her one of my best friends or something. We used to spend like all week together during break. So within 2-3 months she is moving to another state for college. She was originally not going to move but decided to because her cousin lives there and she thinks it would be a good opportunity. So since we hangout all the time she just said to me why don't we just date. Her exact words were "Why haven't you asked me out yet?'' I have two dilemmas with this whole thing. First of all she is moving in two months so I'm not trying to have a girl that visits like once a month. Second is that I don't really want her as a girlfriend. Now she is a really good friend and I was going to just tell her we can stay friends and its all good right. But she said if I don't want to ask her out then she won't ever talk to me. Should I just let it go and forget her or is there a way I can chill her out? She is really important to me and I don't want to lose her. Any suggestions? thanks |
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| Friendzone If she can't handle being just a friend, that's her problem. |
| Let her go. Chances are she'll get over her crush faster than she thinks and could be friends again. Just be clear about your feelings - that you aren't interested in being more than friends and it's up to her how she handles that. If she's going to college she's definitely gonna meet people and this will probably blow over. |
| If you don't want to lose her then let her know what your truly feels. |
LucidSky said: I don't really want her as a girlfriend. Boom there's your answer. Like-A-Dance said: Friendzone If she can't handle being just a friend, that's her problem. |
| to bang ur daet aftr u dated |
| Twitter and it's consequences had been a disaster for the human race |
| Some people just want that romantic love and affection that comes with dating. I also think you should be honest with her. It'll smooth itself out over time. |
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| If she doesn't want to be just your friend, then there's no point in sticking around. If she's willing to just be your friend, then just tell her that's all you want from her. Harder than it sounds, I know. |
Feel free to chat to me ~ |
Like-A-Dance said: Friendzone If she can't handle being just a friend, that's her problem. |
LucidSky said: But she said if I don't want to ask her out then she won't ever talk to me. Drop her like a hot potatoe. |
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Kokoro-kun said: If she doesn't want to be just your friend, then there's no point in sticking around. If she's willing to just be your friend, then just tell her that's all you want from her. Harder than it sounds, I know. This is what I'm thinking is the best option. I don't want to lose her though but I guess it's for the best. I'm kind of feeling guilty though because I have spent so much time with this girl probably unknowingly forced this situation. |
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LucidSky said: Tell her you're not interested in her that way and if she doesn't want to stay friends then fine.Kokoro-kun said: If she doesn't want to be just your friend, then there's no point in sticking around. If she's willing to just be your friend, then just tell her that's all you want from her. Harder than it sounds, I know. This is what I'm thinking is the best option. I don't want to lose her though but I guess it's for the best. I'm kind of feeling guilty though because I have spent so much time with this girl probably unknowingly forced this situation. |
| SCARY MONSTER |
GuusWayne said: Exactly. It doesn't exactly seem like a stable relationship in the first place, if that's the way she feels. Of course, it's a shame, but that's just the way it has to be. Maybe even for the best.LucidSky said: Tell her you're not interested in her that way and if she doesn't want to stay friends then fine.This is what I'm thinking is the best option. I don't want to lose her though but I guess it's for the best. I'm kind of feeling guilty though because I have spent so much time with this girl probably unknowingly forced this situation. |
Kokoro-kunJul 5, 2015 4:41 AM
Feel free to chat to me ~ |
| mfw people giving legit advice, I knew there was hope for CD! OT: CookieNCreamd said: LucidSky said: I don't really want her as a girlfriend. Boom there's your answer. Like-A-Dance said: Friendzone If she can't handle being just a friend, that's her problem. |
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| Well it's going to be hard to come back to be just friends once one of you felt something more towards other person. Honesty is the key there but it may not go the way you want it to go. You should think it through |
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TrashDax said: LucidSky said: But she said if I don't want to ask her out then she won't ever talk to me. Drop her like a hot potatoe. Can't do that lol. I would regret it too much. Thats whats probably going to happen though.. Kokoro-kun said: GuusWayne said: Exactly. It doesn't exactly like a stable relationship in the first place, if that's the way she feels. Of course, it's a shame, but that's just the way it has to be. Or maybe even for the best.Tell her you're not interested in her that way and if she doesn't want to stay friends then fine. I know it doesn't sound stable but I think she may be right in a way. Getting someones hopes up isn't right and I feel bad that I led her on without knowing how she felt. I would date her but there is multiple things stopping me. |
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damastah said: mfw people giving legit advice, I knew there was hope for CD! Well, I thought the same. It's really, really weird. |
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| If ya want to date her, than date her. My god. |
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Barnald said: damastah said: mfw people giving legit advice, I knew there was hope for CD! Well, I thought the same. It's really, really weird. dont get your hopes up ... it goes away soon ... |
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| First of all, sorry you're in this situation. :[ Secondly: xXxweedfiendxXx said: Let her go. Chances are she'll get over her crush faster than she thinks and could be friends again. Just be clear about your feelings - that you aren't interested in being more than friends and it's up to her how she handles that. No real way to win in this though. |
Like-A-Dance said: Friendzone If she can't handle being just a friend, that's her problem. |
 "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -Friedrich Nietzsche |
Barnald said: damastah said: mfw people giving legit advice, I knew there was hope for CD! Well, I thought the same. It's really, really weird.  |
xXxweedfiendxXx said: Let her go. Chances are she'll get over her crush faster than she thinks and could be friends again. Just be clear about your feelings - that you aren't interested in being more than friends and it's up to her how she handles that. If she's going to college she's definitely gonna meet people and this will probably blow over. She will probably get over it fast. seeing as she will be attending one of the unis most known for its parties and promiscuous behavior lol. Barnald said: Well it's going to be hard to come back to be just friends once one of you felt something more towards other person. Honesty is the key there but it may not go the way you want it to go. You should think it through True, relationships always change when something like that happens. I'm just going to tell her that if she wants to be friends she can if not then whatever. It's gonna suck but honesty is usually always the best way to go. |
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| If you're not interested, then you're not interested. There's no point dating her if you don't have feelings for her, especially since she's moving away. Also if she's basically blackmailing you to date her, then I'm sorry but she's not a very good friend and it's probably a good thing if you don't talk to her anymore. |
 Ahhh... Is this the blood... The blood of the Dark Soul? |
| The pointy end of my...you know what no. |
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| Being honest is the best thing you can do. You don't want her as a girlfriend, tell her that. She deserves the truth to be able to make a decision she herself wants to make. |
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_Charl said: Barnald said: Well, I thought the same. It's really, really weird. Hmm, I don't get what's the connection between this and the fact that CD is a big pile of shitposting? |
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| don't start feeling guilty about the fact that you do not want to bow to every whim and fancy of someone with no rights over you it is sad that you might not be able to be friends anymore if you do not date her and you cannot hate her for it, as perhaps it causes her pain to be around you so much if you do not like her back but it would be a mistake to do what you don't want to do when that would only hurt her anyway and so just make it clear that you appreciate her as a friend and accept whatever happens |
 ~ join the MAL suicide pact! ~ ~ ★☭★ ~ ~ embrace nuclear annihilation! ~ |
| To get to know each other better. |
| dating can be fun even if it didnt end up in "hooking up" afterwards. so i guess, i dont see the "why NOT" here. |
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| You've lost her already, or more correctly she lost you. I don't believe such a long-distance relationship can work. It will be more of a burden than not, and a romantic relationship should help us deal with burdens. So, either it ends right now or it will end later, in a slower and probably more dramatic way. Sorry, but she decided to put an end to it, not you. Stuff like that happens. Hope it gets better. |
| WEAPONS - My blog, for reviews of music, anime, books, and other things |
| But is there a reason you can't date her? While I understand that terms she gave you are a bit on the extreme side, can you under no circumstance see her as a romantic partner? You can promise to see each other again or some cute shit. |
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| If she gave you an ultimatum, adding to the fact that she's moving in two months, just let her go. You're better off without her, long distance does not work and she proved she's too immature to manage a long distance relationship anyway with that dumb ultimatum. |
| > But she said if I don't want to ask her out then she won't ever talk to me. lol, sounds like the stuff kids used to say because they didn't know how to express their feelings. go out with me or i hate you! you sure this ain't a plot for an anime? just say you want to remain friends. a relationship should not start out as a hostage situation, you should not feel forced to date her. |
| the official MAL hall of fame/cursed comments is now open for business - you are welcome to PM me any potential quotes to include |
| Just let her go. What's the point of timed-dating? Long-distance rarely works anyway so it's not really worth it. Plus, if she's giving you this dumb ultimatum when up until this point you have shown her no interest in dating her, it's only gonna end badly. |
| 死ねカス国に帰れ |
| Having sex |
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| Im not into you *slips on shades* deal with it. From then on she will get all jelly legs just thinking about how god damn manly you are compared to those puzzy college students. |
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| "I don't see you as a romantic partner. Sorry." Bam. Done. If she can't take no for an answer, she's not worth keeping as a friend. |
| As much as I am the worst person to ask about this, as said by my brothers and just about everyone who knows I'm an anime fiend, I'll say what I think. Dating is an opportunity to establish a deeper connection with who you're dating. It's getting to know them on a level that nobody else will get to know them on and it's not always about going on dates and going out, though that there is a good chunk of the fun (I'd say 50%) but it all centers on the fact that you two get together because you are interested in each other and want to get to know your partner better. If that doesn't apply to you, then that's the end of that. If she doesn't talk to you anymore just because of that, then she's not worth going after. |
| Just need to find out how to quote this every time so I can dodge the stupid 30-character limit. |
| It seems like you already know the answer. |
| its just a date, and you said it yourself that she is an important friend to you, so why not give it a chance, if the relationship did not click/build up then you can always quit anytime |
| Say yes, bang her a few times, and then break up with her. At least make it worth. |
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LucidSky said: She doesn't want to be friends; she wants to date. Sometimes people's interests don't align. There's nothing you can do about it. Let her know your feelings. She can take it or leave it. You can pretend to date her, but what's the point? That would pervert both your intentions.Should I just let it go and forget her or is there a way I can chill her out? She is really important to me and I don't want to lose her. Any suggestions? thanks |
| Maybe you should tell her that if she wants to prove she loves you then she would not abandon you as a friend. |
LucidSky said: Hey MAL users I have a situation I would like some new perspectives on. So basically I have this girl that I chill with all the time (less recently). I guess you could call her one of my best friends or something. We used to spend like all week together during break. So within 2-3 months she is moving to another state for college. She was originally not going to move but decided to because her cousin lives there and she thinks it would be a good opportunity. So since we hangout all the time she just said to me why don't we just date. Her exact words were "Why haven't you asked me out yet?'' I have two dilemmas with this whole thing. First of all she is moving in two months so I'm not trying to have a girl that visits like once a month. Second is that I don't really want her as a girlfriend. Now she is a really good friend and I was going to just tell her we can stay friends and its all good right. But she said if I don't want to ask her out then she won't ever talk to me. Should I just let it go and forget her or is there a way I can chill her out? She is really important to me and I don't want to lose her. Any suggestions? thanks Look the girl actually wants to fuck you before she leaves. She just can't say so and instead asks for a few dates. She knows she is leaving so she knows it will be hard to establish some big relationship. Date her and fuck her. Don't worry if she goes away, that means you won't have to deal with actually having her as a girlfriend and most probably the relationship will break up because long distance relationships extremely rarely work. Also don't start crying about losing her as friend. If you don't fuck her she won't stay you friend anyway even if she didn't actually said so. So at least fuck her brains out so you can both get some enjoyment of the whole thing before you get separated. |
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