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May 6, 2019 10:11 AM
#1
in the modern world of social media and the internet, are we too focused on how we look/act? do people too often hide their real selves or look down upon themselves/ others for how their personality is or how they are physically? discuss ^^ |
Moe_BlobMay 7, 2019 11:00 AM
May 6, 2019 10:18 AM
#2
To be honest, I think so. If the society was less focused on appearances, less people would feel insecure about themselves. |
May 6, 2019 10:29 AM
#3
Your physical appearance (incl. your posture, gesture, hygiene, clothes, eventually parfume, how you look at people, behave etc...) is literally the first thing people see. It would be a lie to say that one doesn't get a first impression and an idea, if they could like somebody or not. It doesn't have to be true in every case, tho. Also it's not a "modern world" thing. This always had been there. And what is this mysterious "real self" even meant to be? That's often a very corny phrase and nothing more. I get it, people fake to lead better lives online than they actually do, but it always has been like that. Some people buy stuff like expensive cars they don't need to impress their neighbours and relatives. Today, it's easier to show it a broader audience and not your personal environment alone. |
removed-userMay 6, 2019 10:33 AM
May 6, 2019 10:37 AM
#4
even before widespread use of the internet, magazines and tv did the job the book: "amusing ourselves to death" raises a lot of good points on the internet and tv: https://highexistence.com/amusing-ourselves-to-death-huxley-vs-orwell/ tl;dr the internet is giving us so much information, so much so that we are reduced to passivity and egotism, drowned in novelty and redundancy of it all. i'd say yeah, people hide and mask themselves when they are not content with themselves and on the internet, you can always find ways you don't measure up, with the whole: "everything you want to get good at is already done by a 5 year old chinese girl", others having perfect delicious buff bodies :9, etc |
May 6, 2019 10:59 AM
#5
NthDegree said: humans are insecure as it is, but the way culture rewards those who act/look a certain way makes it even worse, you're rightTo be honest, I think so. If the society was less focused on appearances, less people would feel insecure about themselves. |
May 6, 2019 11:02 AM
#6
Maneki-Mew said: Your physical appearance (incl. your posture, gesture, hygiene, clothes, eventually parfume, how you look at people, behave etc...) is literally the first thing people see. It would be a lie to say that one doesn't get a first impression and an idea, if they could like somebody or not. It doesn't have to be true in every case, tho. Also it's not a "modern world" thing. This always had been there. And what is this mysterious "real self" even meant to be? That's often a very corny phrase and nothing more. I get it, people fake to lead better lives online than they actually do, but it always has been like that. Some people buy stuff like expensive cars they don't need to impress their neighbours and relatives. Today, it's easier to show it a broader audience and not your personal environment alone. it's true that keeping a good hygene/overall appearance is important, though that's just cleaning and dressing yourself properly. this is more of a 'nobody will like me if i look this way' rather than 'people won't see me for who i really am if i look this way' problem, if that makes sense. and it's the modern broadness that makes it worse nowadays, because everyone can see everyone else, and it's easier to create an online persona |
May 6, 2019 11:05 AM
#7
jesteri said: as i said in the above message, it's how everyone can create any image of themselves on the internet as they want, as well as being able to easily manipulate that through Photoshop for appearance, etc. though as you say the sheer broadness of the internet can also exemplify feelings of inadequacy...even before widespread use of the internet, magazines and tv did the job the book: "amusing ourselves to death" raises a lot of good points on the internet and tv: https://highexistence.com/amusing-ourselves-to-death-huxley-vs-orwell/ tl;dr the internet is giving us so much information, so much so that we are reduced to passivity and egotism, drowned in novelty and redundancy of it all. i'd say yeah, people hide and mask themselves when they are not content with themselves and on the internet, you can always find ways you don't measure up, with the whole: "everything you want to get good at is already done by a 5 year old chinese girl", others having perfect delicious buff bodies :9, etc |
May 6, 2019 11:26 AM
#8
I think good looks are an important factor for many people. A few years ago, I noticed at some point that I did everything to look good to other people, not caring about my own opinion. I wanted people to see me as a beautiful individual, mainly out of fear of being locked out of society. I'm not like that any more, but I still take care of my appearance. The difference is, however, that I only listen to my own opinions now. Thinking back, I still understand the intentions of my younger self, although I don't care as much as I did back then. In the end, whatever you do, people will judge you regardless. You wear make-up? Wow, surely you only do that to impress the boys. You don't wear make-up? Come on, don't let yourself go too far! You're skinny? Eat more! You're chubby? Stop eating. Don't let others decide on you is all I can say. I know it's easier said than done, though. |
I will show no mercy for you You had no mercy for me The only thing that I ask Love me mercilessly |
May 6, 2019 11:33 AM
#9
Haptism93 said: that was a brave step of yours to be honest, and it's true that thinking positively of yourself is a lot more important than what others think of you (though i don't really care about either XD) and the point about being judged regardless is the truth. i'd be lying if i said i don't think that girls that wear a lot of makeups are being slutty, for lack of a better word, though i do think that if we all judged people less the world would be a far greater placeI think good looks are an important factor for many people. A few years ago, I noticed at some point that I did everything to look good to other people, not caring about my own opinion. I wanted people to see me as a beautiful individual, mainly out of fear of being locked out of society. I'm not like that any more, but I still take care of my appearance. The difference is, however, that I only listen to my own opinions now. Thinking back, I still understand the intentions of my younger self, although I don't care as much as I did back then. In the end, whatever you do, people will judge you regardless. You wear make-up? Wow, surely you only do that to impress the boys. You don't wear make-up? Come on, don't let yourself go too far! You're skinny? Eat more! You're chubby? Stop eating. Don't let others decide on you is all I can say. I know it's easier said than done, though. |
May 6, 2019 12:30 PM
#10
It really boils down to the person I suppose. But i do firmly believe that social media and this modern day in age, has some effect on our thought process. I mean, it doesn't take long to see that everyone is constantly glued to their phones, and people always care about the way they look as result of the way their idols appeal. Everyone has someone they look up to, and people will try to mimic, or impersonate the one they idolize. I mean, for me, i just don't care about how i look. I mean, I take basic care of myself, but I don't go the extra lengths that some people do. I lack motivation, but I also have no interest in social media platforms, besides MAL and Discord if you wanna include those two. On the contrary, I think social media and the way it seems to control some people is fine. Let them live their own life. But I'll watch silently from the sidelines because I can't be bothered to commit to something on a such a level. Especially when it all seems so pointless to me. But yeah, in conclusion; People care about their appearances to almost unhealthy degrees, but who cares. They're not hurting anyone, besides possibly themselves. |
May 6, 2019 12:53 PM
#11
"To look good" is always been a thing and part of our society (even centuries ago), Guten Morgen OP! |
May 6, 2019 1:00 PM
#12
Try this exercise. Think of something positive you might hear from an attractive person. A compliment, teasing, some gratitude, whatever. Now visualize Wilford Brimley saying it to you instead. Do you value what you hear equally in light of Wilford's flopping jowls and ghastly features? If not, then you are no better than the superficial folks you condemn. |
May 6, 2019 2:15 PM
#13
Yeah I care about my appearance, I like to wear shit I like and things I look good in, hygiene not even gonna mention since it's basic and really important altho this is only for me, I wouldn't really care if random people don't give a fuck about themselves and what not since it's their lives y'know |
May 6, 2019 2:22 PM
#14
Haptism93 said: I think good looks are an important factor for many people. A few years ago, I noticed at some point that I did everything to look good to other people, not caring about my own opinion. I wanted people to see me as a beautiful individual, mainly out of fear of being locked out of society. I'm not like that any more, but I still take care of my appearance. The difference is, however, that I only listen to my own opinions now. Thinking back, I still understand the intentions of my younger self, although I don't care as much as I did back then. In the end, whatever you do, people will judge you regardless. You wear make-up? Wow, surely you only do that to impress the boys. You don't wear make-up? Come on, don't let yourself go too far! You're skinny? Eat more! You're chubby? Stop eating. Don't let others decide on you is all I can say. I know it's easier said than done, though. You don't wear make-up for three days: Are you okay? Are you sick!? You look sick!? You wear make-up everyday, even decent one: You are not going to a club, you are in school / university / work, you know!? You want to wear a comfortable hoodie, when it's cold: wow, that doesn't fit you. Don't let yourself go. You want to wear something chic: You are not going to a club, you are in school / university / work, you know!? You wear flat shoes: Heels look good on you. You wear heels: Do you know that they are unhealthy? And... You are not going to a club, you are in school / university / work, you know!? You lose weight: You know, you weren't chubby, in first place. You can eat more. (I ran for it. D= ) You gain weight, even just two, three kilo: Did you gain weight, aww, but you looked so good! You cut your hair: It's just a pity! It looks still feminine, but not that much anymore. You keep your hair long: Don't you want to cut your hair again? You dye your hair: But your natural color is beautiful. You don't dye your hair: That's boring. You wear contacts: But I like your glasses. You wear glasses: But you look better without glasses. You wear light rose to pinkish nail polish: What kind of bimbo are you!? You wear dark blue nail polish: Are you a goth or something? You wear no nail polish most times: But I liked it. You should wear them more often. What do you even want from me? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Some were even from the same people. Remember, no matter what you are doing, it's useless. Moe_Blob said: Maneki-Mew said: Your physical appearance (incl. your posture, gesture, hygiene, clothes, eventually parfume, how you look at people, behave etc...) is literally the first thing people see. It would be a lie to say that one doesn't get a first impression and an idea, if they could like somebody or not. It doesn't have to be true in every case, tho. Also it's not a "modern world" thing. This always had been there. And what is this mysterious "real self" even meant to be? That's often a very corny phrase and nothing more. I get it, people fake to lead better lives online than they actually do, but it always has been like that. Some people buy stuff like expensive cars they don't need to impress their neighbours and relatives. Today, it's easier to show it a broader audience and not your personal environment alone. it's true that keeping a good hygene/overall appearance is important, though that's just cleaning and dressing yourself properly. this is more of a 'nobody will like me if i look this way' rather than 'people won't see me for who i really am if i look this way' problem, if that makes sense. and it's the modern broadness that makes it worse nowadays, because everyone can see everyone else, and it's easier to create an online persona I mean, it's natural that some people are seen as more attractive than others, but as long you look fine, it's often imagination that nobody will like you, if you are not looking like a top model. I'm sorry, if people made other experiences, but I have never seen such extreme cases that people say "hey, he doesn't look good, I won't speak to him", tbh. And bullies in school are looking for reasons or make them up. |
May 6, 2019 2:45 PM
#15
This is an interesting thread-not cause of the OP but the responses. There once was a fellow that suggested an idea about people and how we consciously hide our "real selves"--sure you can connect it to something involving social media, persons and social appearance; some already have. |
"In the end the World really doesn't need a Superman. Just a Brave one" |
May 6, 2019 2:52 PM
#16
I think there is a lot of focus on the facade. People try so hard to put up some kind of image that they are so successful, and of course according to the current norms of what success is. Many times when you get to know people though you realize that this is a very polished facade. Now I am obsessed with authenticy so it's not so strange that I think like this, but I can understand why people like to dress nicely and so on, I do that too to some extent. But the problem to me is that it is seemingly the only thing people have to bring to the table, behind that facade it's too often just emptiness. |
May 6, 2019 3:09 PM
#17
Of course people are focused on appearances. It's the first impression you get when you meet someone or just look at a stranger on the street. That's why I send heavily photo shopped pictures to the girls I talk to on online dating sites. The lies will cover the truth, the lies will make everything better again... |
May 6, 2019 3:28 PM
#18
Rarusu_ said: I think there is a lot of focus on the facade. People try so hard to put up some kind of image that they are so successful, and of course according to the current norms of what success is. Many times when you get to know people though you realize that this is a very polished facade. Now I am obsessed with authenticy so it's not so strange that I think like this, but I can understand why people like to dress nicely and so on, I do that too to some extent. But the problem to me is that it is seemingly the only thing people have to bring to the table, behind that facade it's too often just emptiness. But dressing nicely is many people's authenticity. Isn't that a strong contradiction, if you determine for other people how their authenticity should be and look like? In that case, it's yours, not theirs. |
May 6, 2019 3:33 PM
#19
yes and the internet amplifies that too, heck there are studies showing that social media makes a lot of people sad or depressed for comparing themselves to the beautiful selfies of their friends and strangers heck look here on MAL, i bet some significant amount of users would rather show beautiful/sexy anime characters than their selfies |
May 6, 2019 4:01 PM
#20
Maneki-Mew said: Rarusu_ said: I think there is a lot of focus on the facade. People try so hard to put up some kind of image that they are so successful, and of course according to the current norms of what success is. Many times when you get to know people though you realize that this is a very polished facade. Now I am obsessed with authenticy so it's not so strange that I think like this, but I can understand why people like to dress nicely and so on, I do that too to some extent. But the problem to me is that it is seemingly the only thing people have to bring to the table, behind that facade it's too often just emptiness. But dressing nicely is many people's authenticity. Isn't that a strong contradiction, if you determine for other people how their authenticity should be and look like? In that case, it's yours, not theirs. I just used dressing as an example because I thought that was something a lot of people would relate to. I could take something completely different, too. I don't determine individuals' character based on how they dress, what car they drive or what college degree they have. I don't like most other people put too much investment in how we dress for example on a daily basis, we just put on something plain that looks okey according to what's consensus today. If someone would obviously stand out, I would think that this is a person who is conscious about how he or she is dressing. Nothing bad or good about that per se. |
May 6, 2019 4:46 PM
#21
deg said: yes and the internet amplifies that too, heck there are studies showing that social media makes a lot of people sad or depressed for comparing themselves to the beautiful selfies of their friends and strangers heck look here on MAL, i bet some significant amount of users would rather show beautiful/sexy anime characters than their selfies So, you are saying the more ugly they're in real life the sexier Anime pictures they'll use in their profiles and signatures?! mhh..interesting, but I also think, there is another quite simple reason to it as well, some people just don't want some creepy "chick" with a dick jerking off on their photo. |
May 6, 2019 4:49 PM
#22
BallistikJuice said: deg said: yes and the internet amplifies that too, heck there are studies showing that social media makes a lot of people sad or depressed for comparing themselves to the beautiful selfies of their friends and strangers heck look here on MAL, i bet some significant amount of users would rather show beautiful/sexy anime characters than their selfies So, you are saying the more ugly they're in real life the sexier Anime pictures they'll use in their profiles and signatures?! mhh..interesting, but I also think, there is another quite simple reason to it as well, some people just don't want some creepy "chick" with a dick jerking off on their photo. nah im not saying that but that is a possibility and also of course a lot of users also do not post their selfies for privacy reasons |
May 6, 2019 7:31 PM
#23
yes definitely. i mean it's relevant enough for many people online to hide behind a persona or an image of sorts that usually more accurately reflects how they want to be rather than how they actually are. i don't have a problem with it because i understand why they might do so but the fact is that appearance or one's image is important enough that a lot of people are willing to lie about it. |
May 6, 2019 7:36 PM
#24
They want to feel validated. It all stems from growing up and wanting approval from your parents and peers. |
It’s okay to look back at the past, just don’t stare too long |
May 6, 2019 10:26 PM
#25
why yes the external should be a representation of the internal self. this is how we get ourselves across in the external world. how you gonna live in a world where it literally doesn’t give a shit about your insides, but rather focuses on your actions, and what you do? it’s the external that represents the internal. however, the external isn’t always the representation of the internal. blah blah don’t judge a book by its cover, or appearances can be deceiving. now, do people use it for vanity? yes also, this idea of “appearance” will vary in meaning from person to person, and culture to culture. what one person finds disgust in, another person may worship it. would it be cool to not rely on the external too much and reduce things by idea? in other words, to view everything with an objective view and not attaching personal feelings? hell ya it’s cool. however, people like to weigh value in importance and meaning. some things will make people feel a certain way. |
p0ckyyMay 6, 2019 10:45 PM
May 7, 2019 3:00 AM
#26
Rarusu_ said: Maneki-Mew said: Rarusu_ said: I think there is a lot of focus on the facade. People try so hard to put up some kind of image that they are so successful, and of course according to the current norms of what success is. Many times when you get to know people though you realize that this is a very polished facade. Now I am obsessed with authenticy so it's not so strange that I think like this, but I can understand why people like to dress nicely and so on, I do that too to some extent. But the problem to me is that it is seemingly the only thing people have to bring to the table, behind that facade it's too often just emptiness. But dressing nicely is many people's authenticity. Isn't that a strong contradiction, if you determine for other people how their authenticity should be and look like? In that case, it's yours, not theirs. I just used dressing as an example because I thought that was something a lot of people would relate to. I could take something completely different, too. I don't determine individuals' character based on how they dress, what car they drive or what college degree they have. I don't like most other people put too much investment in how we dress for example on a daily basis, we just put on something plain that looks okey according to what's consensus today. If someone would obviously stand out, I would think that this is a person who is conscious about how he or she is dressing. Nothing bad or good about that per se. But that's what I meant: You can't know why people are putting effort into their appeatance as much as you can't say that there only paintings on the wall to impress people. Fashion is some kind of an artistic or aesthetic self expression. If you force yourself to wear clothes that are against the today's consensus, even if you like these clothes, you aren't authentic either. If you force yourself to pretend not to care about fashion, even if you actually do, you aren't authentic either. Honestly, in general, I wish people would stop to project their values on others so much and pretend to they know shit better than themselves. |
May 7, 2019 3:34 AM
#27
some are some aren't , some like weird appearances some tend to like more normal take on style for example I always liked girls who look weird , most of my friends don't find them attractive but to me I'm instantly in love haha |
May 7, 2019 4:23 AM
#28
Maneki-Mew said: Rarusu_ said: Maneki-Mew said: Rarusu_ said: I think there is a lot of focus on the facade. People try so hard to put up some kind of image that they are so successful, and of course according to the current norms of what success is. Many times when you get to know people though you realize that this is a very polished facade. Now I am obsessed with authenticy so it's not so strange that I think like this, but I can understand why people like to dress nicely and so on, I do that too to some extent. But the problem to me is that it is seemingly the only thing people have to bring to the table, behind that facade it's too often just emptiness. But dressing nicely is many people's authenticity. Isn't that a strong contradiction, if you determine for other people how their authenticity should be and look like? In that case, it's yours, not theirs. I just used dressing as an example because I thought that was something a lot of people would relate to. I could take something completely different, too. I don't determine individuals' character based on how they dress, what car they drive or what college degree they have. I don't like most other people put too much investment in how we dress for example on a daily basis, we just put on something plain that looks okey according to what's consensus today. If someone would obviously stand out, I would think that this is a person who is conscious about how he or she is dressing. Nothing bad or good about that per se. But that's what I meant: You can't know why people are putting effort into their appeatance as much as you can't say that there only paintings on the wall to impress people. Fashion is some kind of an artistic or aesthetic self expression. If you force yourself to wear clothes that are against the today's consensus, even if you like these clothes, you aren't authentic either. If you force yourself to pretend not to care about fashion, even if you actually do, you aren't authentic either. Honestly, in general, I wish people would stop to project their values on others so much and pretend to they know shit better than themselves. Yes you can, you can see what kind of dressing code their following, and people tend to categorize themselves so you can identity them very well. If you dress upper class but you aren't you are obviously trying to signal you are something you aren't. It's not like you by accident thought these clothes were genuinely fantastic and matching your authentic being, it's a facade and group-think. |
May 7, 2019 5:13 AM
#29
Rarusu_ said: Maneki-Mew said: Rarusu_ said: Maneki-Mew said: Rarusu_ said: I think there is a lot of focus on the facade. People try so hard to put up some kind of image that they are so successful, and of course according to the current norms of what success is. Many times when you get to know people though you realize that this is a very polished facade. Now I am obsessed with authenticy so it's not so strange that I think like this, but I can understand why people like to dress nicely and so on, I do that too to some extent. But the problem to me is that it is seemingly the only thing people have to bring to the table, behind that facade it's too often just emptiness. But dressing nicely is many people's authenticity. Isn't that a strong contradiction, if you determine for other people how their authenticity should be and look like? In that case, it's yours, not theirs. I just used dressing as an example because I thought that was something a lot of people would relate to. I could take something completely different, too. I don't determine individuals' character based on how they dress, what car they drive or what college degree they have. I don't like most other people put too much investment in how we dress for example on a daily basis, we just put on something plain that looks okey according to what's consensus today. If someone would obviously stand out, I would think that this is a person who is conscious about how he or she is dressing. Nothing bad or good about that per se. But that's what I meant: You can't know why people are putting effort into their appeatance as much as you can't say that there only paintings on the wall to impress people. Fashion is some kind of an artistic or aesthetic self expression. If you force yourself to wear clothes that are against the today's consensus, even if you like these clothes, you aren't authentic either. If you force yourself to pretend not to care about fashion, even if you actually do, you aren't authentic either. Honestly, in general, I wish people would stop to project their values on others so much and pretend to they know shit better than themselves. Yes you can, you can see what kind of dressing code their following, and people tend to categorize themselves so you can identity them very well. If you dress upper class but you aren't you are obviously trying to signal you are something you aren't. It's not like you by accident thought these clothes were genuinely fantastic and matching your authentic being, it's a facade and group-think. Well, there are quite a lot people, who think like you and all of them are in that hypocritical belief. So I have to guess, you imitate their way of thinking to clearly distinguish yourself from others. In my eyes, you are coming up with very stereotypical examples and that way of thinking stems more from the egocentric viewpoint of: "I don't like it and don't see why that would be fun, so everyone else has to be a fake." |
May 7, 2019 6:08 AM
#30
Of course, "looking good" has become a norm in daily society. Even I try to "look good" in a way by doing my hair and such. I think there is a minimum amount of care you should have though, such as showering, wearing deodorant, putting on cologne, and wearing non-dirty clothes if possible. BallistikJuice said: deg said: yes and the internet amplifies that too, heck there are studies showing that social media makes a lot of people sad or depressed for comparing themselves to the beautiful selfies of their friends and strangers heck look here on MAL, i bet some significant amount of users would rather show beautiful/sexy anime characters than their selfies So, you are saying the more ugly they're in real life the sexier Anime pictures they'll use in their profiles and signatures?! mhh..interesting, but I also think, there is another quite simple reason to it as well, some people just don't want some creepy "chick" with a dick jerking off on their photo. You must be one ugly little runt IRL then, buddy. It's just a joke no flame ty |
MegaStrideMay 7, 2019 6:12 AM
May 7, 2019 7:06 AM
#31
Maneki-Mew said: Rarusu_ said: Maneki-Mew said: Rarusu_ said: Maneki-Mew said: Rarusu_ said: I think there is a lot of focus on the facade. People try so hard to put up some kind of image that they are so successful, and of course according to the current norms of what success is. Many times when you get to know people though you realize that this is a very polished facade. Now I am obsessed with authenticy so it's not so strange that I think like this, but I can understand why people like to dress nicely and so on, I do that too to some extent. But the problem to me is that it is seemingly the only thing people have to bring to the table, behind that facade it's too often just emptiness. But dressing nicely is many people's authenticity. Isn't that a strong contradiction, if you determine for other people how their authenticity should be and look like? In that case, it's yours, not theirs. I just used dressing as an example because I thought that was something a lot of people would relate to. I could take something completely different, too. I don't determine individuals' character based on how they dress, what car they drive or what college degree they have. I don't like most other people put too much investment in how we dress for example on a daily basis, we just put on something plain that looks okey according to what's consensus today. If someone would obviously stand out, I would think that this is a person who is conscious about how he or she is dressing. Nothing bad or good about that per se. But that's what I meant: You can't know why people are putting effort into their appeatance as much as you can't say that there only paintings on the wall to impress people. Fashion is some kind of an artistic or aesthetic self expression. If you force yourself to wear clothes that are against the today's consensus, even if you like these clothes, you aren't authentic either. If you force yourself to pretend not to care about fashion, even if you actually do, you aren't authentic either. Honestly, in general, I wish people would stop to project their values on others so much and pretend to they know shit better than themselves. Yes you can, you can see what kind of dressing code their following, and people tend to categorize themselves so you can identity them very well. If you dress upper class but you aren't you are obviously trying to signal you are something you aren't. It's not like you by accident thought these clothes were genuinely fantastic and matching your authentic being, it's a facade and group-think. Well, there are quite a lot people, who think like you and all of them are in that hypocritical belief. So I have to guess, you imitate their way of thinking to clearly distinguish yourself from others. In my eyes, you are coming up with very stereotypical examples and that way of thinking stems more from the egocentric viewpoint of: "I don't like it and don't see why that would be fun, so everyone else has to be a fake." What does hypocrisy have to do with this? I'm not speaking about morality. There are probably people who are super authentic but immoral at the same time. The question was if you think people focus too much on appearance, and I basically said that I think they focus too much on facades. Many people are trying to signal things they don't live up to, and I don't think that's sound or good for them. If you are a person who have a great interest in fashion, that's great, you probably dress very good because you know what you're doing unlike us pseudo-autistic folks. I didn't moralize over those people. But then you come with accusations that I am trying to distinguish myself from others (just to be contrarian) when I said I don't put too much investment in how I dress and dress like everyone else basically. |
May 7, 2019 7:34 AM
#32
It is most likely because your appearance tells a lot about yourself. I don't know if there is even anything to discuss here. Both the appearance and personality are important. You even said that we are focused on "how people act" - well no shit, I doubt there's even a single person who doesn't give a fuck about that. I mean I'm not saying that a fat public masturbator who showers once a year can't have a nice soul and personality, I'm just saying that it is very very unlikely. It's like going to a job interview completely naked. Yes, it shouldn't be about your looks but let's face it if your don't meet at least the basic criteria nobody is going to give a fuck about the rest. |
May 7, 2019 7:39 AM
#33
Nowadays not people in general but Men, i see often that Men are worrying more about their appearance than women, Young Male are generally metrosexual, they use make-up, they workout hours in the gym, they are often spending money in brands clothes. Women on other hand are not giving a f*** about their looks, since we have low standards for female, all they are looking for is college, money and status, appearance goes right after these, most of them are not even shaving downstairs or their "moustache", since they are independant and dont need to please Men anymore. The Marylin Monroe stereotype is over. |
May 7, 2019 7:55 AM
#34
If that were the case ugly people wouldn't exist. |
May 7, 2019 8:03 AM
#35
Rarusu_ said: Maneki-Mew said: Rarusu_ said: Maneki-Mew said: Rarusu_ said: Maneki-Mew said: Rarusu_ said: I think there is a lot of focus on the facade. People try so hard to put up some kind of image that they are so successful, and of course according to the current norms of what success is. Many times when you get to know people though you realize that this is a very polished facade. Now I am obsessed with authenticy so it's not so strange that I think like this, but I can understand why people like to dress nicely and so on, I do that too to some extent. But the problem to me is that it is seemingly the only thing people have to bring to the table, behind that facade it's too often just emptiness. But dressing nicely is many people's authenticity. Isn't that a strong contradiction, if you determine for other people how their authenticity should be and look like? In that case, it's yours, not theirs. I just used dressing as an example because I thought that was something a lot of people would relate to. I could take something completely different, too. I don't determine individuals' character based on how they dress, what car they drive or what college degree they have. I don't like most other people put too much investment in how we dress for example on a daily basis, we just put on something plain that looks okey according to what's consensus today. If someone would obviously stand out, I would think that this is a person who is conscious about how he or she is dressing. Nothing bad or good about that per se. But that's what I meant: You can't know why people are putting effort into their appeatance as much as you can't say that there only paintings on the wall to impress people. Fashion is some kind of an artistic or aesthetic self expression. If you force yourself to wear clothes that are against the today's consensus, even if you like these clothes, you aren't authentic either. If you force yourself to pretend not to care about fashion, even if you actually do, you aren't authentic either. Honestly, in general, I wish people would stop to project their values on others so much and pretend to they know shit better than themselves. Yes you can, you can see what kind of dressing code their following, and people tend to categorize themselves so you can identity them very well. If you dress upper class but you aren't you are obviously trying to signal you are something you aren't. It's not like you by accident thought these clothes were genuinely fantastic and matching your authentic being, it's a facade and group-think. Well, there are quite a lot people, who think like you and all of them are in that hypocritical belief. So I have to guess, you imitate their way of thinking to clearly distinguish yourself from others. In my eyes, you are coming up with very stereotypical examples and that way of thinking stems more from the egocentric viewpoint of: "I don't like it and don't see why that would be fun, so everyone else has to be a fake." What does hypocrisy have to do with this? I'm not speaking about morality. There are probably people who are super authentic but immoral at the same time. The question was if you think people focus too much on appearance, and I basically said that I think they focus too much on facades. Many people are trying to signal things they don't live up to, and I don't think that's sound or good for them. If you are a person who have a great interest in fashion, that's great, you probably dress very good because you know what you're doing unlike us pseudo-autistic folks. I didn't moralize over those people. But then you come with accusations that I am trying to distinguish myself from others (just to be contrarian) when I said I don't put too much investment in how I dress and dress like everyone else basically. That doesn't have to be a question of moral. I meant you are saying about other people that they aren't authentic, when they fulfill a certain criteria you made up for them. You are saying you like authencity. So that's someone else's way of being not fake. At least, that's what I understood from your text, sorry. I meant, you can't know by just looking at people in your daily life, why they look like that without knowing them. One possibility is that they just like the look of their clothes, another reason could be that they feel forced to wear this. If you see a young woman with typical goth or punk clothes, you also could easily think that she wants to upset her parents or teachers, but she also might want to try this and like the style, since you couldn't know, if anyone in her environment feels even upset by this. If they don't care, then there is no reason for wearing clothes to provoke others. Well, yes, that's one reason. But I personally don't like the attitude I see quite often, that "if you are doing some harmless thing X, it's society's "fault" and not your free will", without even knowing the person and situation they are come from. They are old enough to reflect for themselves what they want and don't want. And even if they are not able to, I don't see how it concerns some stranger. Still, I heard / read a few times towards myself "you are brainwashed, if you like this kind of fashion, make-up etc..., because "society" forces this on you." BlakexEkalb said: Of course, "looking good" has become a norm in daily society. Even I try to "look good" in a way by doing my hair and such. I think there is a minimum amount of care you should have though, such as showering, wearing deodorant, putting on cologne, and wearing non-dirty clothes if possible. Well of course, but there is a difference for between that and dressing nicely. At least basic hygiene and not looking like you just woke up, is some sort of consideration towards others and you don't make yourself look like you don't care about your education or work place. |
removed-userMay 7, 2019 8:09 AM
May 7, 2019 9:54 AM
#36
This isn't an issue of today, this is something rooted in most of human history. We've honestly lowered our standards though frankly, we're just more aware of other's self-conscious attitudes, you couldn't go outside without looking like you're ready to go to a wedding back in the 20's for instance (at least I think that was the case, could be wrong) |
I'll keep wishing for a world where you can be happy. |
May 9, 2019 8:16 AM
#37
There are few things after all. Alot of social media or apps etc. Give you a chance to meet someone or to dunno do something with others , and first what you can see is their real pictures so there you rate someone by look like , and then by personality. I don't care about all of it , if someone is friendly to me I will be friendly to him too , no matter if he's a Rich person , Celeb, a Thug or anyone. About myself well I will choose the clothes which I like , I don't act anyone I am always "myself" no matter if it's IRL or in internet , and about appearance well I will once repair my hairs after waking up with my hand (without checking it in mirror) and that's all. |
May 9, 2019 2:33 PM
#38
May 9, 2019 4:55 PM
#39
Yes. I have feelings of worthlessness when I feel like I don't look acceptable. It really doesn't matter that much. |
May 10, 2019 5:45 AM
#40
Some people do based looks over personality i tend to look simple which other people never liked hence i end up being a loner irl |
May 10, 2019 6:51 AM
#41
I think it depends on the individual. Some people buy into the high beauty standards set by social media and advertising campaigns and some don't. Personally I don't worry too much about my looks, but I don't think there's anything wrong with people who do. |
May 11, 2019 7:21 AM
#42
For me I want someone with looks and good manners and good personality |
May 11, 2019 7:34 AM
#43
May 11, 2019 7:49 AM
#44
NthDegree said: They would just be insecure about whatever other thing that is focused on in its stead, surely?To be honest, I think so. If the society was less focused on appearances, less people would feel insecure about themselves. |
It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the courts, it means "anything that shocks the magistrate". — Bertrand Russell |
May 11, 2019 1:49 PM
#45
Sphinxter said: NthDegree said: They would just be insecure about whatever other thing that is focused on in its stead, surely?To be honest, I think so. If the society was less focused on appearances, less people would feel insecure about themselves. Although it's unrealistic to say all insecurities would disappear, you have to admit that the amount of pressure the media and the society place on looks is quite unique. Things like eating disorders are a clear proof of that. I don't even think all stress disappearing would be good for you. In general, we should always aim for balance. So even if taking off the pressure on looks would just spread it around other aspects, I think that would be a healthy thing. |
May 11, 2019 2:02 PM
#46
NthDegree said: I don't think it to be any worse than other things like say status, not using drugs (that aren't alcohol), owning an automotive vehicle, procreating, remaining pure before marriage and what-not depending on where one live.Sphinxter said: NthDegree said: To be honest, I think so. If the society was less focused on appearances, less people would feel insecure about themselves. Although it's unrealistic to say all insecurities would disappear, you have to admit that the amount of pressure the media and the society place on looks is quite unique. Things like eating disorders are a clear proof of that. I don't even think all stress disappearing would be good for you. In general, we should always aim for balance. So even if taking off the pressure on looks would just spread it around other aspects, I think that would be a healthy thing. Do you really experience greater pressure to be beautiful than to not use drugs? |
It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the courts, it means "anything that shocks the magistrate". — Bertrand Russell |
May 11, 2019 2:07 PM
#47
Sphinxter said: NthDegree said: I don't think it to be any worse than other things like say status, not using drugs (that aren't alcohol), owning an automotive vehicle, procreating, remaining pure before marriage and what-not depending on where one live.Sphinxter said: NthDegree said: They would just be insecure about whatever other thing that is focused on in its stead, surely?To be honest, I think so. If the society was less focused on appearances, less people would feel insecure about themselves. Although it's unrealistic to say all insecurities would disappear, you have to admit that the amount of pressure the media and the society place on looks is quite unique. Things like eating disorders are a clear proof of that. I don't even think all stress disappearing would be good for you. In general, we should always aim for balance. So even if taking off the pressure on looks would just spread it around other aspects, I think that would be a healthy thing. Do you really experience greater pressure to be beautiful than to not use drugs?I'm not sure why you'd equate something that causes dependence on a physical level like drugs to societal pressure that's mental. Not to mention I have never heard of anyone who became mentally ill because they didn't own a car. |
May 11, 2019 2:33 PM
#48
MAL is andy in this scene when it comes to outfits https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ja2fgquYTCg |
the official MAL hall of fame/cursed comments is now open for business - you are welcome to PM me any potential quotes to include |
May 12, 2019 12:22 AM
#49
In general, no. People acts the same as always, only the audience is potentially bigger. When it comes to clothing, I think people care less or in the best case as little as always. 90% of the people form 6 to 66 just cover themselves with sneakers, jeans and t-shirts. |
May 12, 2019 12:41 AM
#50
i think we as human beings are focused on appearances. It's natural, it's the reason we have eyes in the first place. Ever since the time of ancient civilizations, people have been focused on appearances for status, beauty, worship..etc And honestly its not a bad thing...Focusing on appearances is fine in moderation. |
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