Takuan_Soho said:
Are you Asian? Because I think you are underestimating the power Japanese women have (in fairness I am not, I am only speaking of my experience being married to one (and I will freely confess that they are well respected in their community for being particularly strong)). Now granted if Hachiken's father was abusive I think you would have a point, but there is no indication of that in either the animation and the manga, so that excuse is a little thin.
Also, on the lying. False praise is more insulting than insulting honesty, but even then I can accept the first lie, however her trying to evade responsibility after being exposed has no excuse.
This isn't an A or Z situation, she doesn't have to be completely passive or completely a "tiger mom", and she doesn't have to confront the father, but there is a range of possibilities in between.
Also, remember we are only at episode 6, so no spoilers (unless tagged), I am only speaking as to what we have seen in the animation up until now.
I am Asian and I'm speaking this from my own experience. My father, though nowhere as strict as Hachiken's dad, doesn't speak much nor has he ever expressed his feelings towards me or my brothers. We don't talk much except for important stuffs and when we want to discuss the details, it's always with our mother who then relay it to my father. When it comes to making decisions or asking something, she always said it depends on what my father decides. It doesn't mean she doesn't have any power, she does put a lot of input and my father always listens to her but ultimately, it's HIS "yes" that decides everything.
This isn't a unique case either. To give you an example of the extreme, I have a female friend who has to hide whenever she goes to church because her father forbids her and is really hard-headed about it. Her mother usually just helps her but can't do anything to change her father's stance regarding that matter. I also have an ex-girlfriend whose father is very abusive and her mother can't do anything about it because she's also a victim and yet she still values her husband as the head of the household and anything that goes on their household was decided by the father. To put it simply, in many households the mother usually acts as the intermediary between the child and the head of the household.
I can give you tons more example but you should get the gist. I'm not saying that women don't have influence at all but in Asian countries, the social norm is that the power belong to head of the household. I'm not sure where you are from but you can't compare Asian families who live in the west to Asian families who actually lives in the east. Asian countries are not as open-minded as the west even in developed countries like Japan where the value of family and its norms are still held very strongly. You have to put yourself in Hachiken's mom's shoes in that she's caught in the middle of internal conflict between two stubborn factions. She can't exactly oppose her husband since his husband is only thinking of what's best for Hachiken, at the same time she also needs to dote on Hachiken as a mother and make sure that whatever he does, he can at least know that she'll be there for him. If you read the manga, in the earlier part of the story it was shown that Hachiken's mother was the one who deposited Hachiken's monthly income and although it wasn't shown in this episode, his mother was also the one who took care of the hospital's administration and everything. I'm pretty sure she was also the one who took care of everything regarding Hachiken's admission to Yezo since his father couldn't care less.
I also don't see her excuse as evading responsibility, she's telling it as it is. In the first place, it's not like she meant any harm when she told Hachiken that his father enjoyed the bacon. She has been married to him for many years and thus knows the quirks and habits of his husband better than anyone. Likewise my father also never said much but my mother was always able to understand him properly. In Hachiken's case, I'm pretty sure his father actually cares about him even though he never says much or dote on him. Everyone has their own style of parenting and expectations of their child. The concept of "tiger parents" itself is neither wrong or right, some people advocate it some don't. It's possible that Hachiken's father did enjoy the bacon, just that it differs from his expectations or what he thinks is best for Hachiken and so he can't acknowledge it just yet. |