| I ask this since I'm technically a guy. I have a few nasty bruises on my arm from my ex and I dont know what to do about her shitty behavior. Like should I just buck up and deal with it or not. So I pose the question is it normal and okay for women to do this. I genuinely dont know if this is normal since I've only been with 1 woman in my entire life. And from how my ex is treating me I'm planning on keeping it that way. But am I just being a little bitch? Discuss below. |
  ♡ Harder Daddy ♡ |
| No it's not normal and you should probably leave that relationship. |
| You already know her behavior was shitty... so you know it wasn't normal. Hitting anyone regardless of gender, age, race, sex, etc is not normal and is considered abuse unless done in self-defence. |
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| Domestic violence isn't normal or healthy and you should probably do something about that. |
    beep boop bop pow |
| Absolutely not. Hitting your partner is wrong regardless of who you are and your ethnic background or whatever. |
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| Absolutely not! Thankfully, the girl I've been with has NEVER hit me. Sure, we've had words between us and things like that....but NEVER anything physical. And BTW, since we're in this kind of topic I want to share the following: I've been in the process of having sex with her, and when she tells me to STOP because for whatever reason she doesn't feel comfortable with the position or I'm going too fast or too strong or whatever... And guess what I do? I stop. Because if it's not enjoyable for her, it's also not enjoyable for me. Just saying....treat each other with respect. |
| Women beat up on guys all the time and get away with it because they didn’t actually hurt the guy because he is tough. Speaking from experience here and I’ve seen girls do it to friends aswell. Guys won’t even talk about it because we don’t see it as abuse since we were not actually hurt. But if a guy was to touch a woman best believe the whole world will know about it and the police will come knocking. |
| Well. I'm sorta regretting making this thread already. Too personal. But to answer @MasterNeutral I cant exactly get rid of her. Her family wont take her back and she doesn't trust any if the guys who want her. I cant just make her homeless or I become the bad guy. @--ALEX-- That's good you treat your girl with respect. Especially sexually, that's really important. @SemillaMinoria That is a true statement. A big double standard it sounds like. |
NetteJul 19, 2021 8:46 PM
♡ Harder Daddy ♡ |
_Nette_ said: Why is that your problem? If she is physically abusing you screw her. Whoever says you are the bad guy after that is an idiot straight up and who cares what other people think anyway. Her issues aren't yours you have no obligation towards her and if she's going to hurt you then she obviously doesn't deserve any of your pity. But to answer @MasterNeutral I cant exactly get rid of her. Her family wont take her back and she doesn't trust any if the guys who want her. I cant just make her homeless or I become the bad guy. I've seen this all too often where someone feels like they can't break up with someone due to whatever reason and it just makes them miserable. I've been in a situation that was stupid too where she said she would hurt herself if I ever decided to leave. Know what I did? Left. That isn't my problem or my fault whether she decides to follow through or not. Obviously a different situation that you are in, but the point is that it isn't your problem and it isn't your obligation to stay in a relationship where you are getting the short end of the stick. Forget about her and move on there's so many other people out there who aren't psychos you can be with. |
| Fuck no. That's domestic abuse and should be treated as seriously as people treat the situation when it's vice versa. And I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you. You deserve better. |
Take care of yourself |
| It is normal, or at the very least common. Females are physically weaker than males, so in most cases, it would be more acceptable than if some guy was beating a woman. Not to mention that hitting somebody's arm, shoulder, etc., is unlikely to result in long-term harm even if it leaves temporary bruises. You are trans, so I guess the story is different, but that phenomenon is very common in sapphic relationships as well. I do not remember a long-term female partner who has never hit me, and I have been in quite a few relationships with women. Something that works for me (other than simply getting tougher) is making an agreement, such as a safe word. If you are being annoying, and your partner can longer suppress their anger, they first have to say the safe word and can only resort to physical violence if the situation does not improve after that. It has to be a neutral word (not "stop" or "enough," for example) and should not be overused. That method dramatically decreased the violent incidents in one of my past relationships. |
| Anyone hitting the other in a relationship (outside approval for the freaks) is a no and not normal. It shows lack of emotional and impulse control. Some people don't come from healthy relationships and may repeat toxic methods in new ones. |
| "In the end the World really doesn't need a Superman. Just a Brave one" |
| You should definitely tell her that she's a bitch and she should fuck off. She'll really do it ;) |
| I CELEBRATE myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you. |
| its not only women who experience abuse in relationships, so no its not okay. playful hitting where the other partner is fine with it is okay of course but other than that, its shitty. you deserve better, i hope you can get away from her soon or at least interact with her less |
_Nette_ said: I genuinely dont know if this is normal since I've only been with 1 woman in my entire life. And from how my ex is treating me I'm planning on keeping it that way. But am I just being a little bitch? Discuss below. What? NO! You're no bitch. She's abusing you, and no amount of anger/rage can justify hitting your partner. Nothing justifies abusive behavior. Please, if you're not comfortable in this relationship anymore, break up. You deserve a lot better than this. |
| I sometimes forget to finish my sentences. |
| Are you really asking the question or are you just looking for people to agree with you? Because you and I both know when you made this thread nobody was gonna say "yes, I think domestic abuse is ok as long as a woman does it" |
 |
Gween_Gween said: yes, I think domestic abuse is ok as long as a woman does it Goddamn it, don't try to make me look foolish, I already do a good enough job of that without your help. |
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| Obviously not. Hitting your partner, or anyone actually, is never okay, unless it's for self-defense or something. Better end it now. Chances are it'll only get worse. I had a relative whose partner was verbally abusing him from time to time which turned into physical abuse after they got married. |
 『ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ 𝐀𝐬𝐤, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ』 |
| nahh, i don't let them get that far in the 1st place. |
_Nette_ said: I ask this since I'm technically a guy. I have a few nasty bruises on my arm from my ex and I dont know what to do about her shitty behavior. Like should I just buck up and deal with it or not. So I pose the question is it normal and okay for women to do this. I genuinely dont know if this is normal since I've only been with 1 woman in my entire life. And from how my ex is treating me I'm planning on keeping it that way. But am I just being a little bitch? Discuss below. No it's not normal! If it's bad for men to hit women, then it's also bad for women to hit men Women constantly complain that they're looked at as the weaker sex and say they want equality, but then those same women use being the weaker sex as an excuse to get away with bad behavior, it's bull shit!! |
MAL Halloween candy collected 🕷 2025        |
| Domestic violence isn't okay regardless of what gender you are |
 _______I like rocks__  |
| if she's just messing around with you just talk to her in a nice way, tell her about the attitude she has, maybe things will work out since you want to keep the relationship. but she's really hurting you physically for no good reason, you better leave her. that is for your own good |
 |
Bobby2Hands said: Are you really asking the question or are you just looking for people to agree with you? Because you and I both know when you made this thread nobody was gonna say "yes, I think domestic abuse is ok as long as a woman does it" I was genuinely asking this question. For some background the family I was closest with for the longest of time were my Italian mafia grandfather and uncles. They drilled the idea into me that women cannot abuse men and if I ever laid my hands on a woman they would actually kill me. |
♡ Harder Daddy ♡ |
| No physical assault should be treated exactly the same. My brother was abused by his GF who intentionally was getting him to starve himself and would hit him. It's a serious issue and should be taken seriously no matter who is involved. The idea that a man just because he is tougher still can't be harmed either physically or psychologically by women is stupid especially when unless he wants to face charges he can't effectively defend himself compared to if he was fighting a man. If people don't want guys to fight back because they are bigger than the law needs to step and deal with situations when a woman is mistreating her partner. |
| everybody in this thread: "no it's not normal regardless of sex/gender" 2 women haters passing by: "It's clear that women hitting men is socially accepted and encouraged by the (((((media))))) and this double standard hurts my sense of justice!" Hold your horse, batman. |
Prophetess of the Golden Era  |
| depends on the couple dynamic, some guys like to be hit, I was never like that with my exes, we hit each other only as a joke |
    |
| No it isn't, you don't need to be physically stronger than someone to still harm them especially if they have no intention of defending themselves and that's not even counting the mental side of things that also come with abuse. |
| i don't think anybody in any relationship should be hitting anyone unless it's jokingly and not hard, and the other person is fine with it. i've seen people try to normalize it, and i just think that's stupid. |
| I believe any indications of an unhealthy relationship is not normal, such as physical & mental abuse, not looking up for each other, cursing & shouting at each other judt because of a simple or little problems, and maybe just don't care with any of each other's problem. Anytime you got another partner in the future, please avoid those things. |
  "ꜱᴛʀᴇɴɢᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ, ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴜɴɪᴛᴇᴅ, ɪᴛ'ꜱ ʙᴀʀʀᴇᴅ ʙʏ ɴᴏ ᴅᴏᴏʀ..." -Aigis |
| Nope If she's hitting you, then call the cops. |
 |
I'm not going to call the cops and ruin her life. For an update for everyone she has already apologized. Yesterday was the first time in months she hit me and she just had a lapse in judgement. Mainly because we were arguing and she is in pain with her foot. Yeah she is also verbally horrible to me but baby steps. I can't get rid of this person yet because I can't morally justify kicking her out on the streets. |
♡ Harder Daddy ♡ |
_Nette_ said: I'm not going to call the cops and ruin her life. For an update for everyone she has already apologized. Yesterday was the first time in months she hit me and she just had a lapse in judgement. Mainly because we were arguing and she is in pain with her foot. Yeah she is also verbally horrible to me but baby steps. I can't get rid of this person yet because I can't morally justify kicking her out on the streets. ... What you have on your hands is an abusive freeloader. I see where you're coming from with that "I can't morally justify" bit, but it's hard to logically justify leaving the situation as it is. I'm saying that for you. Like, you sound like you're done with that shit anyway so just give her two weeks to move. Don't be too generous and give her a month or something, otherwise they'll try to break your will before that. Unless they're actual hobos, everybody's got a friend that can house them a week or two. And in that case, deal with that crap instead of you. |
Prophetess of the Golden Era |
Deathko said: everybody in this thread: "no it's not normal regardless of sex/gender" 2 women haters passing by: "It's clear that women hitting men is socially accepted and encouraged by the (((((media))))) and this double standard hurts my sense of justice!" Hold your horse, batman. You're so funny! Are you telling me that in your country both situations are equally criticised by society, by the law? I don't believe it but If so, you're lucky. However you see, there are many countries in the world. In Spain for example, there's a law called Integrated Protection Measures against Gender Violence which is abused by women and allow them to send men to prison without a shred of evidence. And about the media, aren't you an anime fan? Haven't you noticed how funny it is when a female character hits a male character? How whatever the male character has NOT done he deserves to be hit? |
| Violence is bad anyway, regardless of your gender or sexuality. If it is not self-defense, concerted fight or crime prevention, then it cannot be justified by anything. |
 |
| No it is absolutely not normal or okay. You need to work on your self-confidence, Nette, or else the world will (continue to) eat you. |
If life ain't just a joke Then why are we laughing? If life ain't just a joke Then why am I dead? |
_Nette_ said: I'm not going to call the cops and ruin her life. For an update for everyone she has already apologized. Yesterday was the first time in months she hit me and she just had a lapse in judgement. Mainly because we were arguing and she is in pain with her foot. Yeah she is also verbally horrible to me but baby steps. I can't get rid of this person yet because I can't morally justify kicking her out on the streets. By what you're saying i'm gonna assume she's financially dependent on you? I'll be brutally honest, someone like that is a leech, a narcissist, and no matter how many times they apologise their behavior won't change You said she's verbally horrible to you, she hits you, you say she didn't hit you for a month, did she apologise to you then promising not to hit you? And what happens a month later? I know it's easier said than done, but you've got to get out of that relationship I know from personal experience dealing with people like this, staying is only going to make things worse You also said she's your ex? So if you're not together anymore, don't get back together with her If you feel bad leaving her 'cause you might think it's a selfish move, then think of it this way, if you one day want to have children, do you want a woman who's physically and emotionally abusive to be the mother of your children?? |
| MAL Halloween candy collected 🕷 2025 |
| @Deathko & @DigiCat I know you both are very correct on this matter, it's just hard. Easier said than done getting rid of someone you spent 4 years of your life with. She has her own issues that I want to help her with like going to therapy and stuff. I want to put her in a position where she can stand on her own 2 feet before abandoning her essentially. @Illuminatli Haha, you hit the nail on the head about self confidence. Most just self-worth sorta thing. It's pretty low. |
♡ Harder Daddy ♡ |
| @_Nette_, i know what you mean by wanting to help her with her problems, but whatever problems she has it's no excuse to abuse you I obviously don't know the full story, but judging by what you've said about her, it sounds like her idea of standing on her own 2 feet is just moving on to the next guy to abuse |
| MAL Halloween candy collected 🕷 2025 |
| Nope, there should be no excuses rather male or female. I don't like how women can get away certain bad things that if the man does it, its bad. the fact that this thread exist is fucking sad. |
 |
_Nette_ said: " I can't get rid of this person yet because I can't morally justify kicking her out on the streets."I'm not going to call the cops and ruin her life. For an update for everyone she has already apologized. Yesterday was the first time in months she hit me and she just had a lapse in judgement. Mainly because we were arguing and she is in pain with her foot. Yeah she is also verbally horrible to me but baby steps. I can't get rid of this person yet because I can't morally justify kicking her out on the streets. DING DING DING, RED FLAG, RED FLAG! lmaoooo Come on man, there is no moral "strength" in letting an ungrateful freeloader stay in your property in the guise of "being in a relationship" when in reality this person physically and verbally harms you. Not sure if you're giving money to this person as well or only letting them stay with you but come on man there's a time a place for moral obligation and people such as this do not fit in the category of needing help. I grew up in extremely drug ridden and poverty ridden areas and I know these type of people like the back of my hand and the commonality between all of them is that they DO NOT want to help themselves, they are simply flowing in a rip-current of a downward spiral and just want to find a rock to hang onto before they let go again [aka you, you are the rock, you are not their rescuer]. I was nearly on the street and the only reason I'm here today is because I was thrown a lifeline and when you're truly needing help the person who gets this help will be grateful and above all else they will attempt to move forward by themselves, if someone truly resolved themselves to get their life back on track they will be the ones that in the end ultimately save themselves, this is the only way about it. Only in situations like that should moral "obligation" come into play and I don't think there's a single person with that mentality that would physically harm the person that helped them out if they've truly resolved themselves to get their life on track. If you're helping this person because you believe they will fall if you kick them out and that's somehow "morally wrong" then you're doing nothing but lying to yourself, you are not concerned about what is "moral" or "not moral" but instead fear taking a stance against this person and acting decisively because you feel you may regret it. If someone can't seize the opportunity to be helped out then it's obvious they are not ready yet and that hand should be rescinded and they should be treated to further coldness of the world and once they truly reach a point of no return they will wish for true help and that is when they should be given a chance and by their own will they will be able to make it out of their situations. I believe it's extremely immoral to allow someone to become like this because by "helping" this person out who clearly isn't in the mentality of wanting to truly change you are allowing them to grow even more dependent and thus warping their emotional self-image and most likely making it even harder for the person to truly get back on track. |
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| Gender doesn't matter in this question, you shouldn't abuse your partner in any way |
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