| She says she cant sleep, she cant study, she cant do anything because she is always thinking about me. She is really unstable right now like she will say she misses me but also tells me to go away. She will hug me really tightly and kiss me and we would be like that for a while but suddenly she will shove me with both of her arms. Her mind changes back and forth in just a few moments. She thinks that if I go away and stop talking to her Ill stop being a distraction and she can finally focus on her studies. What do you guys think I should do? |
| disengage from this relationship immediately |
| This sounds very familiar, because I experienced it with an online relationship with someone two years ago. She also said that she couldn't sleep, study, or do anything because she was always thinking about me. Needless to say, the relationship didn't last long. I'd end the relationship now, as it's going to end soon anyway. |
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| as long as everything in the relationship sucks its going well |
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| Sounds like it's on the verge of being a toxic relationship. If it's affecting your own responsibilities then I suggest adding some space but if you think she won't be mentally stable, then do so cautiously |
 π«ππ
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| She's clearly going through a lot in her personal life, and I feel like you should talk about setting boundaries and working to solve whatever issues she's going through before it turns into a codependent relationship. |
Take care of yourself |
| There is only one correct answer here. Seduce her Mother while the Gf is in the shower or studying or whatever. It is her fault she drove you into the arms of another woman. You deserve better! You deserve her Mother! |
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| You should support her, she is clearly going through some rough times. |
  Never explain, Never retract, Never apologize Just get the thing done And let them howl |
| Sounds like a nightmare, why would you want to date people that can't even deal with themselves? Recipe for disaster. Sounds annoying as hell, I'd be outta there. |
| "my life at this state could be transposed into a pretty massive biography" - Cneq, "the guy who was literally using BTC in 2012 to make deals in the first main instance of a digital itemized economy forming naturally in all human history (also the precursor of NFTs) and who had 20k+ total trades.", 23 years old MAL's most prolific antivaxxer, Noboru. |
| @Imphie: I agree with @FlowersInTheRain, especially when you are her boy- or her girlfriend. So do continue to be there for her, regardless of how your relationship will turn out in the future Is there a possibility to maintain a business-like attitude when she has to learn, so you could support her by checking up the answers for her and just by having you to explain to what she's learning about? If it's not working, then you can try to give her some space, while also reassuring her that you are always there for her and that she can just call for you when she needs you. The thing is, she has to get that part that you are there for her on an emotional level as well, so that there won't be that strong withdrawal symptoms when you aren't next to her and so that she can concentrate on her tasks and give it her all |
| Sit down and have a heart-to-heart and mayyyybe consider seeking professional help, what you described may just be her acting immature or confused (if she's pretty young), but it may indicate and underlying mental issue of an unknown magnitude. Support her as much as you can, nobody acts this way in a clear state of mind, especially with their partner. |
Erg_OrgyFeb 23, 2020 1:56 PM
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| Talk to her to see where her apprehension comes from. Is it really her placing importance of studies over personal relationships but conflicted on it or did she go through some bad experience. If former you can help her study maybe. If later help her work through it by reassuring her and actually keeping to your words. |
| What you said is rather vague so I can't get the gist whether she is mentally unstable or just clingy. I guess I could say it's BPD or something similar, which is rather considered by people who aren't educated with the disorder as "abusive", "childish" and whatnot, but I would need more than just evidence of someone pushing away someone they care about for that. Is she impulsive in a certain way? People don't like to put up with it, but if you can and there is truly something wrong with her, then I'd do your best to try to support her. I pretty much feel the same way, but I am not too focused on someone that leads to being unable to work on something and I don't always non-stop think about a certain person. Perhaps she doesn't have that many boundaries. She thinks that if I go away and stop talking to her Ill stop being a distraction and she can finally focus on her studies. I for one would like peace to concentrate if I'm studying unless I physically ask for assistance, so there's nothing wrong with that.But then again, you did mention that she says that she cannot study because she always thinks of you. I don't get that logic. |
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| Get away from her, she sounds dangerous and manipulative, also worryingly obsessive. The way you describe her going from depending on you to pushing you away almost sounds like she has some form of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). She needs to get help because she clearly cant handle relationships with people and you need to break up with her. If you stay with her she wont change, only get worse. I promise you. Also it isnt your job to "fix" her or "help" her. Sure you can look after her, but shes the only one who can make herself better. You shouldn't feel like you have to stay with her to make her "better" because it sounds as though she will only get worse if you stay with her. |
SeijatachiiiiFeb 23, 2020 3:01 PM
| Leave that psycho and don't listen to an engaged man who still tries pick up cute boys who dress like anime girls, on MAL of all places. say she misses me but also tells me to go away. hug me really tightly and kiss me and we would be like that for a while but suddenly she will shove me with both of her arms. She thinks that if I go away and stop talking to her Ill stop being a distraction and she can finally focus on her studies. Honestly looks like she's trying to guilt you into taking care of her instead of showing affection towards you. If you're not ready to break up yet just know, never go raw in that bitch. NGL another valid nterpretation might be that you're the creep. Trying to be unbiased as possible. |
EsquirtitFeb 23, 2020 3:17 PM
| poop |
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