| The average MAL user has no grammatical abilities, but we see professionally written reviews by ex-authors here and there. I will personally guide you step by step on how to write a proper and emotive review and then show you an experts work which will be composed by yours truly. Step 1: Include a quote Unfortunately the first step is the most mentally challenging, where the writer has to pick out a single set of words from the many spoken, it can be quite troublesome. However, not to worry I have prepared some competent tips. Firstly, pick a character from the show at random and finally pick a dialogue from them which is either remarkably controversial or else pick at random. This will never seem to fail you. (example at end) Step 2: Paragraph one Long paragraphing is key to writing a good thesis. In the first paragraph you elucidate the plot thoroughly. Make sure to not hold back or leave anything unwritten, as this is crucial for the readers understanding and then inclusive perspective. In layman's terms, (though this is not entirely accurate) write down an unreasonable amount of spoilers. In theory, this should enlighten the reader on how worthy the show at hand is, making them want to read further. Step 3: Rest of the paragraphs For the remaining paragraphs you'll need to follow a certain format: X: [Y/10] Unbidden explanation Here X has to be replaced by one of the following for each turn: plot, art, sound, characters, enjoyment and overall. Y is your rating. Anything under an 11 qualifies, ranging from 1 (absolutely disgusting) to 10 (probably overrated). Further make sure to deposit your numbers in 3-4 decimal places for the readers convivence. For the explanation, do your best to write something completely irrelevant. This will prolong your paragraph so much so, that the user will be stuck reading your review for as long as you deem. In this process don't forget to expand on your rating slightly. Step 4: The conclusion After finishing the main aspects, continue onto writing a brief portion of everything you have just laid out. Finally, add a bit of after thoughts or something that wouldn't quite fit into the other paragraphs. The conclusion is necessary as it exhibits what the reader had just read, it will help them collect their thoughts, compile them and form an opinion. Step 5 (optional step): tell the reader you're delusional/ your psychological state The heading is pretty self explanatory, but I'll still explain to avoid any confusion. This is not mockery but a witted move. If you have implied something not of the readers liking, he will (most certainly) try to doxx you. In this case, take advantage by admitting that you are mentally ill/unstable and he just might let you off the hook. [Tip: use an uncanny amount of BBcode.] Now that's over with, I will preview my exclusive review. I chose the anime Black Lagoon, as I have recently watched it. (notice: I will not be prolonging my review just this once since I have a flight to attend in an hour.) "I actually don't like thinking. I think people think I like to think a lot. And I don't. I do not like to think at all."" -Kanye "Ye" West Black Lagoon is an outstanding show about a Japanese businessman adapting in a depraved, crime-ridden city as he took a wrong right and could not find a U-turn anywhere. He joins up with a stereotypical group, but soon after finds himself utterly useless (it is not until season 3 he does something surprisingly helpful). In the first arc, he obtains a driving license and in the second arc he gambled all his possessions away. The rest of the arcs are all slice of life as the authors wife died. Plot [10.9999/10]: The plot was simply amazing. This show was broadcast at Sunday at 02:35 (JST) Art [0.0000/10]: Da Vinci did it better. This show was produced by Geneon Universal Entertainment and Shogakukan. Sound [10/10] idk im partially deaf and i lost my hearing aid before watching the show but the subtitles were based Characters [10.1*10000000000/10]: I loved them all my favorite moment was when fernando got shot and what happened afterwards!1!1!!! Enjoyment [-1/10]: i did not enjoy this show at all because today is the 22nd of May (it is not my birthday) Overall [10/10]: I cannot find the words to depict my intense feelings for this show, so instead i will show my dedication by appearing on tomorrows headlines Endgame was cool and all but age of Ultron was better imo. I mean how can you compare a cool robot antagonist with an ugly purple titan. the franchise was better before they produced spiderman homecoming and it further declined when they started producing the tv shows. but in the end the manga was better 👍 step 5. i am extremly stupid proof1:  (i wrote the review high on opium please refrain from copying word to word) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ mod edit Thread locked for rule 2.D (Blog post) of the Anime Discussion board. • d. personal storytelling, narration, ranting, and/or blog-style posts * e.g. Rate my list/favorites, Post your ___ and I'll rate it, review and/or rant texts about an anime, etc. * These topics only encourage a one-way discussion where members are commenting on the poster's idea (or vice versa). |
CareBearApr 6, 2022 6:59 PM
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| It would be nice to read objective reviews instead of it being mostly made up of "This is just how I feel" & "In my personal opinion" before justifying their score with a "taste is subjective" bullshit. I don't want to know about your subjective thoughts because I don't care, I want to read about the technical objective goods and bads of the show such as the animation is good & smooth, the plot armor in episode 8 was just dumb, unbelievable, and unrealistic, why didn't the villain just kill the MC right than and there instead of doing so & so, did Araki forget about the eye lazers? |
| That step 5 made me chuckle lmfao 👍👍👍 |
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| Just elaborate on and properly substantiate the claims you make and your review will be better than at least 90-95% of mal reviews. |
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Controversy said: Very informative, where's the helpful button? you should find it on the left of quote |
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| Nice review, sadly I leaked your address on Twitter |
| Stuff in the streets, Stuff with drip in the sheets |
| The best thread I've seen in quite some time. Thanks for brightening up my day, dear sir. |
| MAL reviews are the most cringe thing on the internet, especially the people who write them who think their opinion matters and needs to be heard |
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Tendo_GM said: Said like a true weeb.MAL reviews are the most cringe thing on the internet, especially the people who write them who think their opinion matters and needs to be heard If this review guideline is what newbies will be referencing to...then I'm sorry to say that this adds the fuel to the fire of pure discrimination. Yes, this review guideline is good if you wanna flame all that hate your opinion, but as much as MAL reviews aren't perfect, opinions from others...just take a few and make it yours. DONE. |
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| Very important wikihow tutorial. I can now gain clout on a listing website and show off to losers that I know how to analyse Chinese cartoons. ----------- Tendo_GM said: This should be bait but I am led to believe this is an actual cynical approach on the matter :pensive:MAL reviews are the most cringe thing on the internet, especially the people who write them who think their opinion matters and needs to be heard |
| Oh my god. Why didn't you post this gem of a review in the reviews section instead? |
NextUniverse said: Tendo_GM said: This should be bait but I am led to believe this is an actual cynical approach on the matter :pensive:MAL reviews are the most cringe thing on the internet, especially the people who write them who think their opinion matters and needs to be heard Yes, it’s actually genuine….. |
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Im_Stuff said: Nice review, sadly I leaked your address on Twitter  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ |
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| Eh honestly I would just add a tl;dr straightly at the top instead of a quote and just straightly go to explaining the main idea of the story, describe the other aspect (e.g art, music, etc), and the conclusion but lmao the format of the review made me totally lost it. |
| very cool post i agree entirely and can't wait to now write a review that will get 10000 helpfuls |
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| Oooh now I feel like my brain is expanding at an alarming rate. This info was too much for me to handle! NOO!!! |
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