| Well I was bored and want to make forum post about something so I though why not make a post about depression. I've had on-off depression for a lot of years now. I'm 20 years old and also suffer from social anxiety. MAL has a lot of people who have social anxiety so I was wondering if there are a lot of people with depression as well and how they deal with it. I haven't told my family or friends about my depression, currently I am reading books on how to fight depression. I am reading The Upward Spiral and The Depression Cure for now, will read other books on depression later. I've also read books on handling social anxiety such as Overcoming Social Anxiety Step-by-Step. I don't want to go to a therapist because of my social anxiety,I don't like talking about myself or my issues face-to-face. Money is also an issue. Don't want to take medication because of their side effects. So I'd like to know if anyone here has depression and how they cope with it, and would really like to know if someone has beaten depression completely. The books I've read say that exercising,sunlight,socialising,setting goals and having a good sleep can help with depression. I'm currently working on fixing my terrible sleep schedule, I sleep at 1:30 and wake up at like 12 in the morning because the university is off due to semester break. I've also starting cooking because I really don't like the stuff my mother cooks,I just know how to make an omelette and frying potatoes to make french fries for now. I've started working out at home but can only do three push ups in one set. Wondering if I should go to a gym or not, if I can get the same results at home with exercises there is no need to spend extra money. List of issues making me depressed: -lack of social skills/can't make conversations for long/can't make eye contact with people/issues with making jokes or laughing or even smiling in front of non-family/no girlfriend but desperately want one or at least be friends with a cute girl/only socialise when I go to university/stay at home the entire day otherwise -food at my home is terrible/don't eat a lot/am skinny need to gain weight/lack of money to get good food from outside -my brother has mental issues and does weird things that piss me off. I know he has issues but I have my own issues and this guy has zero consideration for how other people feel. People in my family know about his issues so he usually gets special treatment. -need to get a new laptop my current one can only run games that are released in 2013 or below,anything after that doesn't run and a lot of games from 2013 and some from 2012 don't run either.I have no money tho. -barely talk to my family/usually in my room all day watching anime and playing games or reading e-books,just recently started using forums -self-hatred due to not being able to fix things any suggestions? Some things I learned from reading books: -Recognising the automatic negative thoughts(ANTs) you have when you have social anxiety that tell you that you are worthless and that other people can always see your insecurity/worthlessness and are judging you, acknowledging that these thoughts aren't true and constantly reminding you're self that "the ANTs thoughts are liars" -Relaxing your body,slowing down your thoughts and body movement during social interaction -deep breathing -if you feel people are staring at you look around and see if they really are staring -conversation is two-ways and you are not the only person responsible for continuing the conversation,silences are okay -to get rid of anxiety doing things step-by-step making a list of anxiety-inducing tasks and starting from the thing that causes you least anxiety and doing it until you don't feel any anxiety, and then moving on to the next thing with higher anxiety level(aka don't do the thing with highest anxiety immediately as you will get nervous and fail and it can backfire and you can start thinking that your thoughts are really true) -anxiety is like a bear or bees; it will chase after you if run. So it's bad that it's there but it is worse if you run away from it -social anxiety is caused by running away from situations that cause you anxiety, eventually making things worse by making the same thing cause higher amounts of anxiety -using "biofeedback" that is that when you smile,even if you force it your brain thinks you are smiling because you are happy and you actually feel slightly happier because of it and can improve your mood.Having confident body language even if you are not confident increases your confidence -setting goals and making decisions helps with depression but you should set very specific goals with a clear criteria of success e.g. instead of "I need to gain weight", having a goal of "I need to gain x amounts of weight in x amounts of time" and also break big goals in shorter and easier to achieve goals -people with social have ANTs. research shows that before doing something like a presentation, if people are told to deliberately think of negative things like "people will hate me" or "I will embarrass myself" or "I will mess something up", even people who don't have social anxiety are affected by the things and are more likely to mess up -quite a lot of thoughts during social anxiety are self-fulfilling prophecies,such as thinking that "people aren't gonna like me" and not interacting with people because of this thought, then you end up with no friends and think "I was right,no one likes me" when people would like you if you just talk to them -There is a "bleed-in" effect that is if you do one thing that is anxiety-inducing and succeed in it,all other things that cause you anxiety cause you less anxiety now and it makes it easier to do them. |
AnimeTiddies134 said: The books I've read say that exercising,sunlight,socialising,setting goals and having a good sleep can help with depression. I'm currently working on fixing my terrible sleep schedule, I sleep at 1:30 and wake up at like 12 in the morning because the university is off due to semester break. I've also starting cooking because I really don't like the stuff my mother cooks,I just know how to make an omelette and frying potatoes to make french fries for now. I've started working out at home but can only do three push ups in one set. Wondering if I should go to a gym or not, if I can get the same results at home with exercises there is no need to spend extra money. If you really do these things out of self-help, then you're not particularly depressed or ill at all. Break off of your cocoon and talk to other people. Social anxiety my ass, do it right now, speak to someone on the phone. Baby steps will get you all the way into bed with a prostitute. Face it; you're not depressed at all. You're just bored and you think that you don't have the sufficient experience to interact with other people. I'd hate to break it to you, but people don't have experience, they -- wait for it -- just do it. Why? Because they don't over think things. So stop doing it, 99% of people are as superficial as they seem for most conversations. If you are lonely, why the fuck do you want to buy a new PC just to play more games and stay lonely? Stop this circus you're having and deal with it. |
YarubAug 6, 2019 5:57 AM
| When did this becomes a mental health site cause I swear every time I log on there's 3 or 4 threads about brain juices But yea I have it, had it since I was a teenager, diagnosed in 2016 I USED to go to therapy to deal with it. But after an extended stay out of state there's no therapists avaliable. So I mostly just write to vent my thoughts and draw to calm down Which because it's so personal I worry about showing other people my work Sometimes my friends help, when they're avaliable And videogames, especially violent ones are great stress relief |
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| Not buying a new laptop/PC/gaming device is a good one, you already said you don't have the money so try not to waste them for something like that. A lot of modern games are specifically designed in a way that uses a bunch of psychological tricks in order to create an addiction or to increase the company's profit in a certain way at the expense of the user's mental health. They can be enjoyable sometimes but I doubt it will do much if you are suffering from depression, some games might make it even worse, I've noticed that playing certain games for 10 minutes per day or even once a week can trigger bad mood/depression which isn't really the case with any of the games from 10-20 years ago that I've played so far. Also spending more time in front of a monitor wouldn't improve your social anxiety. You can try some new activity that will help you meet other people. Gyms are relatively cheap and it will help you create some sort of schedule. Also you'll need money, at least some sort of income. |
149597871Aug 6, 2019 7:59 AM
149597871 said: Not buying a new laptop/PC/gaming device is a good one, you already said you don't have the money so try not to waste them for something like that. A lot of modern games are specifically designed in a way that uses a bunch of psychological tricks in order to create an addiction or to increase the company's profit in a certain way at the expense of the user's mental health. They can be enjoyable sometimes but I doubt it will do much if you are suffering from depression, some games might make it even worse, I've noticed that playing certain games for 10 minutes per day or even once a week can trigger bad mood/depression which isn't really the case with any of the games from 10-20 years ago that I've played so far. Also spending more time in front of a monitor wouldn't improve your social anxiety. You can try some new activity that will help you meet other people. Gyms are relatively cheap and it will help you create some sort of schedule. Also you'll need money, at least some sort of income. My parents do give me pocket money, it's just not a lot, so I can't afford going to the gym but I am fine otherwise.I guess I could try convincing my parents to pay for the gym membership. But you are right I should give up getting a new laptop and try to socialise more. I thought of getting a job,but I have my studies to deal with as well,and getting a job requires social skills as well which I have none. Yarub said: AnimeTiddies134 said: The books I've read say that exercising,sunlight,socialising,setting goals and having a good sleep can help with depression. I'm currently working on fixing my terrible sleep schedule, I sleep at 1:30 and wake up at like 12 in the morning because the university is off due to semester break. I've also starting cooking because I really don't like the stuff my mother cooks,I just know how to make an omelette and frying potatoes to make french fries for now. I've started working out at home but can only do three push ups in one set. Wondering if I should go to a gym or not, if I can get the same results at home with exercises there is no need to spend extra money. If you really do these things out of self-help, then you're not particularly depressed or ill at all. Break off of your cocoon and talk to other people. Social anxiety my ass, do it right now, speak to someone on the phone. Baby steps will get you all the way into bed with a prostitute. Face it; you're not depressed at all. You're just bored and you think that you don't have the sufficient experience to interact with other people. I'd hate to break it to you, but people don't have experience, they -- wait for it -- just do it. Why? Because they don't over think things. So stop doing it, 99% of people are as superficial as they seem for most conversations. If you are lonely, why the fuck do you want to buy a new PC just to play more games and stay lonely? Stop this circus you're having and deal with it. Good point. I need new social hobbies and need to do less gaming.I'm gonna give up on getting a new laptop. |
Aidoru-Ojisan said: I suggest you watch this Using art and material things as an escapism from depression is effective but only as effective as anti-depressants it could only do so much. this might help you. i agree with some of this video content where it tells about the cause of depression. and i think the best solution for depresison is to talk about what thing that make you depressed with others :) |
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| Imagine getting depressed. Eat healthy, sleep on time, exercise daily, do the most important thing of this day on this day, talk to your friends every other day, and the rest will take care of itself. I know people love to play down this narrative and cite faux examples of cases where the person is seemingly doing all of this and still depressed but barring the obvious doubts that arise, they pose it as if a few fringe cases refute the effectiveness of healthy habits in general. Remember guys, if you're over the age of 20 and you still haven't taken your life in your hands then you'll have to take it up your ass. So grab the bull by the horns and direct it because that's what you were born to do. Stop being a baby. |
| Unironically enough, the things that make you depressed I can relate to, though I'm not a NEET. There's no way to "beat" it. It's impossible to remove scars just as it is with mental disorders unless you never had them to begin with, but you're still able to deal with them much more efficiently. Take your mind off of things, distract yourself, do the things you love doing. You may be limited right now as of I, but perhaps you could take a walk outside with nature, or simply watch a movie or do some crafts. I wouldn't coop yourself up in your house too much, as I'm also prone to doing that. If you have a back garden, maybe just relax for a while out there. Birds are wholesome and I don't get to see them enough. (Speaking of that: wholesome animal videos). |
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| I've also dealt with depression and anxiety on and off for the past few years. I've only recently got prescribed meds to deal with it because I've been dealing with a lot of stuff the past few months (not gonna go in-depth, but I've been sick for a few months now) I can't tell you if they work or not because it takes a few weeks for anti-depressants to work, but I highly suggest them because I've had friends who also suffer from depression and/or anxiety and it says it helps them a lot. The one with anxiety says she doesn't get much anxiety anymore when it comes to talking to people and the one with depression says she rarely feels down anymore. Just be careful if you do take the anti-depressants route because some of them interact with other stuff as simple as cough medicine in a very bad way. It's a pain in the ass when you're sick. And also withdraw is shitty I heard. I just wanna say also baby steps help A LOT. Get yourself some good friends even if it's just one really good friend you can trust. Talk to them. It helps a lot especially if it's a friend who also is suffering through stuff. Creating a routine is also a really helpful thing to start digging yourself out of the pit of depression. Baby steps add up. I understand very well that it's hard to pick yourself up, but stay strong. IF you ever need someone to talk to i'm always here !! |
| Truth is everyone is depressed, well 99% of the population. I deal with it by the usual reality escapes such as video games and anime but what really gets me through the tough times is thinking of my ancestors and how much more worse off they had it. We have it easy compared to them. If I cant do it when they survived then that would make me a pathetic POS! |
| Yes, I have had it in varying degrees since my early teens probably. It's gotten pretty bad multiple times throughout the years but during 2018 I got out of it by forming many good friendships and going out almost every friday/weekend. Even got a great part time job that I enjoyed working at + continuing my schooling as I have been doing. However very early this year I suddenly got a bad health problem and basically lost all motivation for everything. Quit my job, barely hang out with friends and decline many invites. Even declined a girl I was interested in which I normally would never do. Basically all I do these days is sit at home like a loser. Just waiting (not excitedly) for the new semester of school to start which will at least take up a ton of my time. Life sucks sometimes but I've seen people go through a lot and still deal with it well. I guess I'm just a weak minded person who can't handle anything. |
Anime-is-King said: Truth is everyone is depressed, well 99% of the population. I deal with it by the usual reality escapes such as video games and anime but what really gets me through the tough times is thinking of my ancestors and how much more worse off they had it. We have it easy compared to them. If I cant do it when they survived then that would make me a pathetic POS! Everyone, or almost everyone, would be way too far fetched. Everyone can be “depressed” from time to time, but not everyone can have depression, otherwise why would something everyone has, apparently, be called a mental illness? A lot of people have short tempers, so is that a mental illness? |
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| @Xstasy Imagine thinking Icon for Hire is a 'niche' band. Bruh you haven't seen niche yet. @Maneki-Mew Healthy habits are meant to give you a solid structure, a footing, which you can use to diagnose your problems and deal with them effectively. Obviously, it's going to take time finding the real problem so in all real life cases, if you stick with a healthy schedule long enough, you get rid of the bad stuff automatically. Problem is, most people do it for like one or two weeks, find out that they are still secretly depressed and just quit and go back to being failures. |
| I honestly can't deal with it. I've suffered from depression my whole life and I've yet to find an answer. |
 ☆☆☆ "There's a huge difference between one and infinity. However, compared to the difference between existence and non-existence, one and infinite are nearly the same. I am the child destined to become the best witch... no... The greatest Creator in the world...!" -Maria Ushiromiya ☆☆☆ |
| I dunno man, set some goals for yourself that you believe will improve yourself as a a person. When you have something to strive for life's a lot more bearable. |
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| thankfully I don't. I wanna say that I'm not depressed because of my own efforts because I'm just such an awesome lad, but I gotta say that a huge portion is probably me being lucky and meeting a really wonderful person, who spent a lot of time and effort to set me straight. thanks, btw. |
| "my life at this state could be transposed into a pretty massive biography" - Cneq, "the guy who was literally using BTC in 2012 to make deals in the first main instance of a digital itemized economy forming naturally in all human history (also the precursor of NFTs) and who had 20k+ total trades.", 23 years old MAL's most prolific antivaxxer, Noboru. |
| I was fighting with depression for quite some time, being quite bad at two points in my life. My solution? Just accept it. Life sucks and you can't do anything about it. So just accept that and go on with life. |
| I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder for a few years now. Unfortunately people seem to generalise sadness as depression which is not the case. Personally I've attempted suicide twice during my lows. However it does get better. Medication has stigma around it but it genuinely helps. Yes you can experience side effects, but it's better to experience those than experiencing hell from your own mind imo. Therapy is great, if you have the access then go for it. Everyone should at least some point in their lives if not at least to learn healthy coping mechanisms. The greatest help for me has been exercise, making an effort in socialising more and picking up Buddhist teachings such as mindfulness and meditation. Just try and find things that make you feel useful, feel good and feel worthwhile ✌ If you drink then that needs to stop too, alcohol is a significant catalyst for depression. |
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| I relate to this post a lot. First you need to get diagnosed and figure out which depression you have. When it comes to exercise, I could help you on that, as I used to be really skinny and gained weight after a year and a half of work. Can't help you on socializing, as I don't care about that anymore. PM me if you want some advice. |
| There never really has been conclusively proven that depression is caused by a serotonin imbalance because it could be depression causes a change to serotonin levels. SSRIs should not be used except more extreme cases due to how they increase suicidality and even homicidal behaviour. SSRIs can lower the ability to feel love and emotions in general which makes someone more coldly calculating which is how it creates suicidal and homical behaviour changes. When depressed it's best to first have a healthy diet, some exercise, a consistent sleep routine, and to solve whatever is solvable that may be having you down. Zinc, magnesium, vitamin D, B vitamins, omega3s, and folate are all important. If that doesn't work then start looking into herbal supplements (Such as st johns wort, curcumin /turmeric, or ashwaghanda)and prescription medications. SSRIs are not the only available antidepressants. If you take any supplements you have to think of them like drugs because they are drugs. You need to ask pharmacists and doctors to be sure it's safe for you to take something if you're on certain meds or have a medical condition. |
traedAug 9, 2019 8:25 PM
| Plot twist I dont deal with it it deals with me |
| Keep yourself busy. Set your eyes on a goal and devote yourself to it. When you're idle and your mind is occupied on some random shit that can't possibly help you now, that's when it hurts the most. Once you get in the habit of distracting yourself, you could deal with it. Most people do this to one extent or another in my opinion. They're motivated and driven enough in distracting themselves that they never stop and have the opportunity to dwell. If you took any healthy person and prevented him from carrying out his daily tasks long enough, he would go down a very familiar spiral. Edit: Although Albert Camus' The Myth of Sisyphus is much more nuanced than this, it makes a very good point. |
| My subjective reviews: katsureview.wordpress.com THE CHAT CLUB. |
beetleMitz said: i don't. depression and anxiety (anxiety i believe is my main problem) it has ruined my life, and keeps me from living. and it seems to only getting worse as i get older. caffeine sometimes can help, unfortunately it also make my anxiety worse. Well shit. I hope you find a solution, friend. |
Awoo :3 |
| I'm sorry but your post is a bit long so I'm only going to point out that your sleep routine should at least stay at max 8 hour unless you really do some heavy exercise like building your muscles man. If you sleep at 1.30 a.m, you should be awake around 9.30 -10.15 a.m. |
| No idea, just become numb. In all seriousness, medication with therapy is the quickest way to get out of depression. Staying in a cocoon won't do you any good. |
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