People who don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend. What do you think is the reason behind it?

TheBrainintheJar said:


It's not just confidence, it's the aggression that allows you to go for your target, to initiate contact and things. That's why they're so attractive.

Satania- said:


That's not what aggressive means, and it's also because you most likely have zero confidence yourself and that you think lowly of others that do have confidence, so therefore, you'll slap on the "aggressive" demeanor to them because you have nothing else better to do but just to stay in other people's shadows yourself, and using this as a handicap to prevent you from developing. Therefore, nothing will come to you as a result, because no one likes a passive-aggressive person who doesn't initiate.

TheBrainintheJar said:


You assumed I put a value judgment on this trait, and proceeded from there to derive conclusions about me (Despite this being our only conversation?)

That's some weird epistemology. Please show me in more detail how you arrive to these conclusions and the logical structures behind them.

tadayuu said:
Men just don't like me.
Even men who you'd think would be willing to date anyone have always seemed to dislike me

Satania- said:


It's the same with you in everything. How every guy not you is "aggressive" or an "asshole" because they have a girl and you don't. And that's how it will always be. I'm just here to remind you that it's not the case but in the end, you'll just use your own little world to dictate how others should think and if not, they must be an idiot, right? You really are multi-layered irony as they say.

TheBrainintheJar said:


I have no idea how your epistemology works, so how can I know if you're wrong or right?

I don't think social aggression is a bad thing at all. In fact, I think it's a desirable trait. While it increases someone's chance of harming others, it also increases their contribution to social situations. I know plenty of people who fit the label and are great people.

Takamura-sama said:
I don't pick up girls. Girls pick up me

BVG573 said:
The main reason is I don't want to have to compromise myself and my interests for their benefit. A lot of the girls who live around here are, for lack of a better word, normies. And I really don't think anyone is going to want to be the girlfriend of someone who has probably spent close to $200 on Transformers figures in the span of less than a year or so. And if they do, then I'd just find it hard to consider myself in a romantic relationship with someone I consider a friend like that.

JustaBrer said:


Dunno like, I think that's pretty cool.

BVG573 said:


I mean yeah, it is cool, but for some reason I'd just find it hard to snuggle up with a cute girl when the next moment, out of nowhere, we end up shouting hot-blooded super robot attack names :P Like, I feel like I can't really reach a romantic mood with someone who shares my interests. Like, the respect is definitely there, but due to considering her a friend more than anything... I guess that makes some kind of sense?

ThrashMatto said:
You don't even know what social aggression is nor do you understand how it's different from confidence. Please learn the terminology you use before you use it, it would save you from looking like a complete moron.

TheBrainintheJar said:


I offered some basic traits/manifestations of 'social aggression'. You're welcome to offer your own definition.

http://www.performwell.org/index.php/identify-outcomes/education/10-indicators/137-social-aggression

Social (or relational) aggression refers to behavior that is intended to harm another’s friendships, social status, or self esteem. In contrast to physical aggression, social aggression may use verbal slights and non-verbal body language to reject or exclude others, and it may be indirect, involving rumor or manipulation (Underwood, 2003). Social aggression can be as hurtful as physical aggression, and may be more common than physical aggression among some groups of children and youth.

Methods for assessing social aggression vary depending on the age of participants. At younger ages, teacher reports may be most valid, whereas older children can be surveyed directly about their experience as either victims, perpetrators, or both.

Peer nomination techniques (having children list the names of students that engage in socially aggressive behaviors, including themselves, while looking at a classroom or grade-level roster) is another method which can be used, but when collecting these data, the confidentiality and privacy of respondents must be effectively safeguarded (Branson &Cornell, 2009).

Progress in preventing or reducing social aggression can be assessed by comparing information about the number of socially aggressive incidents experienced by participants on a weekly or monthly basis. If the rate of social aggression (the average number of incidents reported over a specific time interval) or the number of participants who report acting in socially aggressive ways toward others is not reasonably low or decreasing, program managers may want to assess issues around program design, implementation, and quality.

https://www.verywell.com/social-aggression-3288012

Social aggression refers to intentionally harming someone using nonphysical means. It is a nearly synonymous term to relational aggression. The following are the most common forms of social aggression used during the tween years.
Relationship Manipulation

One form of social aggression is relationship manipulation. Relationship manipulation tends to be subtle, with the tween doing things behind a friend's back that threaten the integrity of the friendship.

For instance, a tween might tell a friend's secrets in order to gain new friends and to undercut the existing friendship. Meanwhile, she acts like everything is fine with the existing friend and may even attempt to elicit more secrets so that she can pass them along.
Social Exclusion

Social exclusion can be verbal or nonverbal. Methods of nonverbal social exclusion include ignoring someone or deliberately leaving someone out of plans. Verbal social exclusion typically involves attempts to actively turn others against someone. A tween may even become friends with someone-usually an enemy-as an act of revenge and further exclusion against the former friend.
Reputation Attacking

Reputation attacking tends to be a particularly overt form of social aggression. Perhaps not coincidentally, it is the one type of relational aggression that boys tend to engage in more than girls. It can be done subtly, however, such as by spreading rumors and concealing their source.

This may especially occur online since it's easier to remain anonymous in cyberspace than in person.
Using Demeaning Gestures

Social aggression also can take the form of demeaning facial and bodily gestures. For instance, a tween might imitate the person behind her back, roll her eyes, or give dirty looks to the person.

Whether these gestures are noticed by the victim or simply seen by others, they have the effect of intentionally harming the individual.

Source:

Archer, John, and Coyne, Sarah. An integrative review of indirect, social, and relational aggression. 2005. Personality and Social Psychology Review. 9, 3: 212-230.

Benenson, Joyce F., Markovits, Henry, Thompson, Melissa Emery, and Wrangham, Richard W. Under threat of social exclusion, females exclude more than males. 2011. Psychological Science.

http://www.webmd.com/parenting/news/20080916/boys-girls-equal-at-social-aggression

Girls often get a bad rap for gossiping, forming cliques, and other aggressive social behavior, as characterized in the popular movie Mean Girls. Boys, meanwhile, are known for physically aggressive behavior, such as hitting.

A new study, however, says these attitudes may be at least partly unfounded. While boys are indeed more physically aggressive, girls and boys are equally guilty of aggressive social behavior, according to the report published in Child Development.

Researchers did an analysis of 148 studies that included nearly 74,000 children and teenagers. The studies were mostly done in schools and looked both at direct aggression, which is physical or verbal, and indirect aggression, which includes covert behaviors designed to damage another person's social relations with others, without direct confrontation.

"These conclusions challenge the popular misconception that indirect aggression is a female form of aggression," says Noel A. Card, PhD, assistant professor of family studies and human development at the University of Arizona and the study's lead author, in a news release.

Based on the analysis, researchers concluded that often the same kids who are directly aggressive are also indirectly aggressive. Although boys tend to exhibit more direct aggression than girls, there is little difference between girls and boys for indirect aggression. This continues over different ages and ethnicities.

The researchers also note that because of overlap between direct and indirect aggressive acts, it can be difficult to distinguish between the two. The overlap is greater for boys than girls.

They also found consistent links between direct aggression and other adjustment problems. Kids who are directly aggressive are more likely to have problems like delinquency, poor relationships with peers, and low pro-social behavior (which includes things like helping and sharing).

Kids who are indirectly aggressive often have depression and lower self-esteem. However, they tend to have high pro-social behavior, necessary to get support of others such as convincing peers to gossip and exclude others.

Satania- said:


It's the same with you in everything. How every guy not you is "aggressive" or an "asshole" because they have a girl and you don't. And that's how it will always be. I'm just here to remind you that it's not the case but in the end, you'll just use your own little world to dictate how others should think and if not, they must be an idiot, right? You really are multi-layered irony as they say.

narutobirama said:


While I do agree that the word "aggression" is not the proper one, I think you are missing what he is trying to say. One could for example, argue that "assertiveness" is the word he meant.

So, assume he meant that assertiveness is necessary. Are you still willing to argue that confidence is enough even without assertiveness?

Satania- said:


He's acting like it's a bad thing because he doesn't have it himself either way. Nice Reddit spacing btw.

TheBrainintheJar said:


I don't think social aggression is a bad thing at all. In fact, I think it's a desirable trait. While it increases someone's chance of harming others, it also increases their contribution to social situations. I know plenty of people who fit the label and are great people.

Satania- said:


Nice Reddit spacing btw.