My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong, As I Expected (light novel)
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Have you ever felt this way?
May 5, 2013 7:48 AM
#1
This is the Monologue by Hachiman, if you haven't seen it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1y4xILgkFk When I saw it; I thought wow this hit me. I remember in High school when I felt this way; sometimes even now i feel somewhat this way when I get put in the friend zone by some girls. It's great to see protagonist finally taking a role more guys can relate to, rather than some typical Harem Shounen guys who looks great and gets all the girls. |
witacumeMay 5, 2013 7:58 AM
May 5, 2013 7:51 AM
#2
witacume said: some typical Shounen guy who looks great and gets all the girls. Than almost never happen in anime unless you mean wimpy harem male leads. OnT : Never happened to me IRL but I understood how Hikki felt. |
May 5, 2013 7:53 AM
#3
It is friend zone. But really I haven't hate on nice girls. |
May 5, 2013 7:57 AM
#4
tsudecimo said: witacume said: some typical Shounen guy who looks great and gets all the girls. Than almost never happen in anime unless you mean wimpy harem male leads. OnT : Never happened to me IRL but I understood how Hikki felt. I was referring to typical Harem leads. |
May 5, 2013 8:10 AM
#5
I feel that way, I'm not in the friendzone yet but that could happen, because she's just too freaking nice to everybody, that's awful. |
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May 5, 2013 8:38 AM
#6
Been there, I've been a loner the whole life, haven't had more that a few (lets call them "friends") before "that" happened either, but basically two such situations struck a killing blow, after that I've never even talked with people without having a reason to do so. When I was still in school, I just came in time, passed all the lessons doing whatever, all the breaks were me, sitting at the desk listening to music, tinkering with some stuff or just going somewhere where there weren't many people and doing nothing, pretty much the same as 8man as we've seen, if not my wacky appearance then I would have been invisible too. If someone tried to talk to me I just didn't care and send them packing... I remember the last year of high school a girl form the class came to ask me why I always look so angry, she was a strange and interesting person, but I was an idiot as always, so it was officially the last girl that talked to me without having a reason to... god it's been a bit more than 4 years since then. Anyway it's a long story, but somewhere along the way I just stopped caring and gave up on the whole idea of relationships, friends, etc. So to say it, yes I do hate nice girls, I consider the whole nature of being nice to everyone as a lie. Edit: And then again, there was a reason to be nice to me, same as here, thanks, but I don't need your pity. |
AsciusMay 5, 2013 1:19 PM
May 5, 2013 8:40 AM
#7
Ascius said: Been there, I've been a loner the whole life, haven't had more that a few (lets call them "friends") before "that" happened either, but basically two such situations struck a killing blow, after that I've never even talked with people without having a reason to do so. When I was still in school, I just came in time, passed all the lessons doing whatever, all the breaks were me, sitting at the desk listening to music, tinkering with some stuff or just going somewhere where there weren't many people and doing nothing, pretty much the same as 8man as we've seen, if not my wacky appearance then I would have been invisible too. If someone tried to talk to me I just didn't care and send them packing... I remember the last year of high school a girl form the class came to ask me why I always look so angry, she was a strange and interesting person, but I was an idiot as always, so it was officially the last girl that talked to me without having a reason to... god it's been a bit more than 4 years since then. Anyway it's a long story, but somewhere along the way I just stopped caring and gave up on the whole idea of relationships, friends, etc. Damn... that's rough man... |
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May 5, 2013 8:42 AM
#8
Ascius said: Been there, I've been a loner the whole life, haven't had more that a few (lets call them "friends") before "that" happened either, but basically two such situations struck a killing blow, after that I've never even talked with people without having a reason to do so. When I was still in school, I just came in time, passed all the lessons doing whatever, all the breaks were me, sitting at the desk listening to music, tinkering with some stuff or just going somewhere where there weren't many people and doing nothing, pretty much the same as 8man as we've seen, if not my wacky appearance then I would have been invisible too. If someone tried to talk to me I just didn't care and send them packing... I remember the last year of high school a girl form the class came to ask me why I always look so angry, she was a strange and interesting person, but I was an idiot as always, so it was officially the last girl that talked to me without having a reason to... god it's been a bit more than 4 years since then. Anyway it's a long story, but somewhere along the way I just stopped caring and gave up on the whole idea of relationships, friends, etc. So to say it, yes I do hate nice girls, I consider the whole nature of being nice to everyone as a lie. Do you want to make me cry or what ? |
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May 5, 2013 8:42 AM
#9
Ascius said: Been there, I've been a loner the whole life, haven't had more that a few (lets call them "friends") before "that" happened either, but basically two such situations struck a killing blow, after that I've never even talked with people without having a reason to do so. When I was still in school, I just came in time, passed all the lessons doing whatever, all the breaks were me, sitting at the desk listening to music, tinkering with some stuff or just going somewhere where there weren't many people and doing nothing, pretty much the same as 8man as we've seen, if not my wacky appearance then I would have been invisible too. If someone tried to talk to me I just didn't care and send them packing... I remember the last year of high school a girl form the class came to ask me why I always look so angry, she was a strange and interesting person, but I was an idiot as always, so it was officially the last girl that talked to me without having a reason to... god it's been a bit more than 4 years since then. Anyway it's a long story, but somewhere along the way I just stopped caring and gave up on the whole idea of relationships, friends, etc. So to say it, yes I do hate nice girls, I consider the whole nature of being nice to everyone as a lie. That's quite dumb. In my opinion. |
May 5, 2013 8:51 AM
#10
Chakaara said: Do you want to make me cry or what ? Well sorry, I just wanted to show how I relate to the whole situation and ended up writing a short autobiography. GoldenBRS said: That's quite dumb. In my opinion. The sad part is, that it is not even dumb, it's idiotic, but it's the truth. |
May 5, 2013 9:05 AM
#11
"Not really" Being a loner myself, I can relate to Hikigaya's monologue. However, I myself do not hate nice girls. Being nice is part of some people's personality. Having as many friends as possible is a rather natural desire, especially among girls. Heck, I had classmates for who, flirting was part of an everyday conversation. I doubt they noticed that themselves. There is no malice there, therefore I have no reason to feel hatred. Of course, it's hard for me to be around those people and it gets really awkward if they are extremely friendly. Once again, that's not something I would hate them over, even though I'm totally incompatible with them. Hikigaya's problem is that he easily gets the wrong idea if girls act friendly towards him. Being a pessimist, I have already lost the ability to get the wrong Idea, so friendly types don't bother me as much as they do him. Also, I have not been 'bitten' the way Hikigaya was, so maybe my opinion would be different if I suffered the same way he did. What I hate are hypocrites. The types who act all friendly around pretty much anyone even though they don't care about half of them and hate the guts of the other half. Those people who merely put on an act in order to be popular or to be the center of attention really do piss me off. |
May 5, 2013 9:06 AM
#12
Kind of.. I'm really shy with girls because I'm not a confident person in my everyday life, which lead me to close myself when I'm out and girls try to talk to me. Sure I've had a few good experiences, but most of the time it ends up with me being distant and the girl giving up on me or me getting in the friendzone. Or, to relate to the MC, this summer I had a few great nights out with a nice girl, and when I asked her on a date she freaked out because she wasn't ready for a full on commitment (I had been in "love" with her for years).. But, she was giving me mixed signals and I ended up feeling so bad for weeks. Since then, all my experiences with girls have been pretty much awful. But I'm not really a loner per say, even though I like to enjoy some time alone every week. |
May 5, 2013 9:11 AM
#13
OfficialGuts said: pretty much me :pKind of.. I'm really shy with girls because I'm not a confident person in my everyday life, which lead me to close myself when I'm out and girls try to talk to me. Sure I've had a few good experiences, but most of the time it ends up with me being distant and the girl giving up on me or me getting in the friendzone. But I'm not really a loner per say, even though I like to enjoy some time alone every week. |
May 5, 2013 9:25 AM
#14
Naoki-Saten said: "Not really" Being a loner myself, I can relate to Hikigaya's monologue. However, I myself do not hate nice girls. Being nice is part of some people's personality. Having as many friends as possible is a rather natural desire, especially among girls. Heck, I had classmates for who, flirting was part of an everyday conversation. I doubt they noticed that themselves. There is no malice there, therefore I have no reason to feel hatred. Of course, it's hard for me to be around those people and it gets really awkward if they are extremely friendly. Once again, that's not something I would hate them over, even though I'm totally incompatible with them. Hikigaya's problem is that he easily gets the wrong idea if girls act friendly towards him. Being a pessimist, I have already lost the ability to get the wrong Idea, so friendly types don't bother me as much as they do him. Also, I have not been 'bitten' the way Hikigaya was, so maybe my opinion would be different if I suffered the same way he did. What I hate are hypocrites. The types who act all friendly around pretty much anyone even though they don't care about half of them and hate the guts of the other half. Those people who merely put on an act in order to be popular or to be the center of attention really do piss me off. This.Some girls who is nice are worth talking too. |
May 5, 2013 10:02 AM
#15
When I was in high school, I met a nice girl. She talked to me, treat me nicely and even tutor me.v..v...So, I, as a young man with high hope in future, tried to make myself look better in her eyes by studying harder, taking care of my look more than before...v..v...For short, I was amongst top 5 students in my class in maths, physics and history. And when I finally found enough courage to ask her to go out with me, well, she said "eh, I only think of you as a friend". Then I realized she was nice to...like...the whole class and she even talk to the guys from the the other classes. My friends mocked me for I mistook her kindness. Well, I have been there before and it's true that from that moment, I hold on to myself although not to the point of hating nice girls. Bob Marley was right...no woman, no cry. |
May 5, 2013 10:24 AM
#16
I don't hate nice girls. I really don't hate anyone, too much effort. Except people from Missouri... although they live in Missouri so I guess that's kind of like a personal hell. Man, I thought I was lonely until I read this thread... |
Let this be our little secret, no needs to know we're feeling HIGHER AND HIGHER AND HIGHER! |
May 5, 2013 10:36 AM
#17
"If reality is a cruel mistress, then illusion is a nice girl" - Hachiman. I wrote you poetry, But you made a friend out of me. It was on a heart too... I want it back woman, Both the paper and the organ. |
elarun_stvrieMay 5, 2013 10:40 AM
May 5, 2013 10:59 AM
#18
The truth is, if they're too nice it tends to "sting" if you know what I mean. It hurts more than one would think. Still, better to be nice than not, IMHO. Too much kindness can be as bad as the opposite. |
May 5, 2013 11:06 AM
#19
The problem is that guys tend to interpret a girl's kindness that only they receive, however, nice people in general are nice to everyone not just girls. But because us guys create the illusion that we have a chance to date this girl we end up feeling like idiots and blaming the girls when it doesn't work out. Happened to me before but I recovered quickly, my friend on the other hand, absolutely hates this one girl. |
ChiXeroMay 5, 2013 1:33 PM
You may read this quote , "However, by that point you'll have been torn to pieces." |
May 5, 2013 11:12 AM
#20
MysticHaze said: The problem is that guys tend to interpret a girl's kindness that only they receive, however, nice people in general are nice to everyone not just girls. But because us guys create the illusion that we have a chance the date this girl we end up feeling like idiots and blaming the girls when it doesn't work out. Happened to me before but I recovered quickly, my friend on the other hand, absolutely hates this one girl. This. |
Let this be our little secret, no needs to know we're feeling HIGHER AND HIGHER AND HIGHER! |
May 5, 2013 11:23 AM
#21
It was pretty amusing actually, I had a mild case of "Nice Girl" just a week before the episode aired and I even thought word by word that "If someone is kind to me, they are also kind to others." sentence. It's definitely reassuring to see that it resonates with so many others, nobody understood this while I still had friends. Finally I know I'm not alone. |
May 5, 2013 12:25 PM
#22
The sad thing in my case is that I wouldn't just limit this to nice girls; I'd limit this to nice people in general. Whenever I meet someone nice, I thought I've finally met a real friend. But then, I realized that they are nice to everyone. And because they are nice to everyone, everyone else wants their help and comforting. Eventually, these nice people moved on to helping other people, and I can't help but feel that they've forgotten about me. It was a nice scene, though. It made me realized that the reason why nice people left wasn't because they betrayed me, but because they are too generally nice helping other people. |
![]() Thanks, person who gave me this on another site a long time ago, lol. |
May 5, 2013 4:43 PM
#23
But what is the problem if a girl is kind to everyone? She is just as kind to you, so it shouldn't mean any less... Not everyone is faking kindness or wants something in exchange. I get what you all mean, though. Blehhh, now I have a bad taste in my mouth. I guess it just makes me feel a little sad because I can relate to the "nice girl" or whatever... This anime looks interesting btw, I might start watching it. |
(THIS WAY FOREVER) |
May 5, 2013 5:04 PM
#24
ak47 said: But what is the problem if a girl is kind to everyone? She is just as kind to you, so it shouldn't mean any less... Not everyone is faking kindness or wants something in exchange. I get what you all mean, though. Blehhh, now I have a bad taste in my mouth. I guess it just makes me feel a little sad because I can relate to the "nice girl" or whatever... This anime looks interesting btw, I might start watching it. I understand what you mean. I never said anything against the Nice girl. I was simply happy that an introverted guy finally took a shine in Anime. I don't hate nice girls, I simply said I felt this way before. and if you saw the whole series you would understand the position 8man is coming from. He just doesn't want to get hurt anymore so he is taking a step back. when i dated this girl for a year and half in college i went out with her because she would be straight up with me. I was not the best looking dude but i wasn't the worst. In the end it didn't work out. But what made it important for me was her honesty, and not be afraid to tell me. Hey lose some weight, or better ace this test. She was looking out for me, and she wasn't afraid of my response. She would buy dinner sometimes and fight for gender equality. Which made me learn what i needed to focus on was personality not looks. |
May 5, 2013 7:39 PM
#25
I don't really hate nice girls, but I don't normally like them either. With nice girls, I feel no special relationship with them, since they're nice to everyone. I once had a small crush a nice girl, but as soon as I saw that she was nice to everyone, and how popular she was, I immediately felt insignificant and stupid for even having a crush on her. Having a crush on a nice is girl extremely painful. I really only truly open up to those who I feel have a special bond with, and feel comfortable with. I don't do that with nice girls, because it gives me a sense insecurity, since I feel like I don't "truly" know them. A girl once told me I should smile more, but Honestly, I'm not too comfortable doing that. The only problem with my style is, if i get too comfortable with certain girls, i might end up friend zoning them myself, whether I'm in their friend zone or not. I agree with Hiki, but not to his extent. Btw, Who would have thought Hiki could make dialogue that could lead to such a relaxing thread. |
May 5, 2013 7:44 PM
#26
So do girls hate nice guys? Teehee. |
May 5, 2013 7:48 PM
#27
MellowJello said: You now what they say.. "Nice guys finish last"So do girls hate nice guys? Teehee. but treating them like trash is even worse. |
May 6, 2013 6:15 AM
#28
Guess the whole 'nice girls' thing is something a lot of people can relate to. I myself have met a few but I never really became attached to them or anything. I can't really be comfortable around them. |
May 6, 2013 3:11 PM
#29
It's the hope that kills you. That's true, no matter the context. And if you're a lonely guy that misinterprets kindness for something more, after opening yourself up, it hurts. So much so that, even though 'nice girl' probably wasn't even aware she was doing anything wrong by being friendly, to the lonely male it'd feel like betrayal. In fiction, the best example of this is in Onani Master Kurosawa: the whole plot practically being built on a take-interest-in-no-one-to-avoid-pain realist opening his heart to a girl that kept talking to him as he hid away during lunch in the library; falling for the trap Hikigaya wants to avoid. Hikigaya's observations and thought process take this series up so many levels, compared to the usual harem pish. My expectations had lowered after the shemale harem member got introduced but Hikigaya's reaction to learning why Nice Gurl started being all "Hikki~" friendly with him raised it back up. It's so easy to relate to him when he recalls his memories, or makes a cynical comment about those around him--truly a great character. |
May 6, 2013 3:27 PM
#30
AironicallyHuman said: It's the hope that kills you. That's true, no matter the context. And if you're a lonely guy that misinterprets kindness for something more, after opening yourself up, it hurts. So much so that, even though 'nice girl' probably wasn't even aware she was doing anything wrong by being friendly, to the lonely male it'd feel like betrayal. In fiction, the best example of this is in Onani Master Kurosawa: the whole plot practically being built on a take-interest-in-no-one-to-avoid-pain realist opening his heart to a girl that kept talking to him as he hid away during lunch in the library; falling for the trap Hikigaya wants to avoid. Hikigaya's observations and thought process take this series up so many levels, compared to the usual harem pish. My expectations had lowered after the shemale harem member got introduced but Hikigaya's reaction to learning why Nice Gurl started being all "Hikki~" friendly with him raised it back up. It's so easy to relate to him when he recalls his memories, or makes a cynical comment about those around him--truly a great character. Pretty much this, I can really easily relate to where Hachiman is coming from, but at the same time I can't blame Yui for being "nice". I would say that I don't hate nice girls in general, but if a girl started to suddenly be nice to me and then I found out, it was because of pity (saving her dog), I would no doubt feel betrayed by her. Even if I know it's not her fault and she wasn't intentionally hurting me, it would be painful all the same. |
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -Friedrich Nietzsche |
May 7, 2013 5:05 AM
#31
Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks. |
Let's go bowling. |
May 7, 2013 5:10 AM
#32
The "It's called the friend zone" part should have been left off. That's something different. |
May 7, 2013 7:25 PM
#33
AironicallyHuman said: It's the hope that kills you. That's true, no matter the context. And if you're a lonely guy that misinterprets kindness for something more, after opening yourself up, it hurts. So much so that, even though 'nice girl' probably wasn't even aware she was doing anything wrong by being friendly, to the lonely male it'd feel like betrayal. In fiction, the best example of this is in Onani Master Kurosawa: the whole plot practically being built on a take-interest-in-no-one-to-avoid-pain realist opening his heart to a girl that kept talking to him as he hid away during lunch in the library; falling for the trap Hikigaya wants to avoid. Hikigaya's observations and thought process take this series up so many levels, compared to the usual harem pish. My expectations had lowered after the shemale harem member got introduced but Hikigaya's reaction to learning why Nice Gurl started being all "Hikki~" friendly with him raised it back up. It's so easy to relate to him when he recalls his memories, or makes a cynical comment about those around him--truly a great character. Yeah...this really sums up my thoughts on Hikgaya's monologue. |
May 9, 2013 6:33 PM
#34
I hate to say it, but I'm one of those "nice" people. I just can't stand to not be nice to somebody, even if I really don't like them. There was this girl that I knew in middle school. She was really fucking weird, and nobody really liked her. But for some reason, she would always talk to me. I hate to sound like an asshole, but I really did not want to talk to her. At all. And yet, I did. I was always nice to her. I kind of "led her on", so to say, with friendship. In my mind, I always loathed her coming up to me. I ignored her eye contact. I sometimes pretended I didn't hear her if she said something to me from a distance. But as soon as she was around me, and contact was unavoidable, I put on the "mask" of being friendly. If I was with other people and she came up to me, the other people would pretty much leave, so it would be just me and her. Other people were mean enough, so she never approached them. My kindness was a complete lie, and I pretty much blamed her for me not being as popular as I would like to have been. There were people I would like to have been friends with, and girls I liked, that never gave me the light of day because we were in different social circles. She was like dead weight, holding me down. But, I wasn't mean enough to tell her that I just simply didn't like her. After middle school, and into high school, we never had classes together, so our shallow relationship died out rather quickly (much to my relief). And just to give closure, she found other friends. Legitimate friends who actually liked her and seek her out. So she turned out much happier than she was with me. Wow I sound like a complete selfish asshole. And I kinda am an asshole. Actually, if you read the story I wrote a while back about how I lost my virginity, it was kind of a situation similar to this. I completely led this girl on, and even had sex with her, all because I didn't have the guts to turn her down. In the end, I really hurt her, and I feel shitty every time I think about it. |
May 9, 2013 7:06 PM
#35
i hope you guys realize the entire concept of the friendzone is complete and utter bullshit. while i understand that the monologue can "strike a chord" with many people (namely men), you have to understand that because a girl is nice doesn't mean she owes you anything. people are nice sometimes, because being nice is cool. i'm generally a nice person to those around me, because i feel it accomplishes more than being rude! if the girl you liked that turned you down never gave you the light of day to begin with, what would you say about her then? probably something akin to "she's a bitch. she thinks she's high and mighty, but she's not better than me" right? when does a girl get to win? yes, it might hurt when a girl you like turns you down because she sees your relationship as platonic, but what it boils down to is that being nice to you never was nor will it ever be a contract. a girl who asks for your help, or helps you, or is kind in general is not obligated to have romantic feelings for you. if you fall in love, and your feelings are hurt--i'm not going to say it's your fault, because the heart's a fickle thing and we can't control who we love!--but it's especially not her fault, and it's a shitty thing to walk around with the idea that nice girls (and possibly all girls) are awful because one wouldn't go to prom with you even though she laughed at your jokes. and it's bad to think nice people are only nice to undermine everyone else in general. it's pretty great that this anime is about a character type we don't see often in anime, but that doesn't make hikigaya's mindset in this case justifiable or right. it's extremely problematic, actually. Naoki-Saten said it already, and that's that Hikigaya has a huge problem with taking things the wrong way, which in the end puts him in these situations that lead him to wrongly blaming others for the bad experiences he goes through. |
May 9, 2013 8:22 PM
#36
mogana said: i hope you guys realize the entire concept of the friendzone is complete and utter bullshit. while i understand that the monologue can "strike a chord" with many people (namely men), you have to understand that because a girl is nice doesn't mean she owes you anything. people are nice sometimes, because being nice is cool. i'm generally a nice person to those around me, because i feel it accomplishes more than being rude! if the girl you liked that turned you down never gave you the light of day to begin with, what would you say about her then? probably something akin to "she's a bitch. she thinks she's high and mighty, but she's not better than me" right? when does a girl get to win? yes, it might hurt when a girl you like turns you down because she sees your relationship as platonic, but what it boils down to is that being nice to you never was nor will it ever be a contract. a girl who asks for your help, or helps you, or is kind in general is not obligated to have romantic feelings for you. if you fall in love, and your feelings are hurt--i'm not going to say it's your fault, because the heart's a fickle thing and we can't control who we love!--but it's especially not her fault, and it's a shitty thing to walk around with the idea that nice girls (and possibly all girls) are awful because one wouldn't go to prom with you even though she laughed at your jokes. and it's bad to think nice people are only nice to undermine everyone else in general. it's pretty great that this anime is about a character type we don't see often in anime, but that doesn't make hikigaya's mindset in this case justifiable or right. it's extremely problematic, actually. Naoki-Saten said it already, and that's that Hikigaya has a huge problem with taking things the wrong way, which in the end puts him in these situations that lead him to wrongly blaming others for the bad experiences he goes through. The post above yours is a great example of why it's pretty justifiable. |
May 9, 2013 9:11 PM
#37
Vanisher said: The post above yours is a great example of why it's pretty justifiable. yes one completely unrelated and isolated incident makes it totally acceptable to shun people completely and burn bridges for the rest of your life!!!!! not to mention the fact that hikigaya never went through that exact situation to begin with--no one led him on out of guilt, he only believed that was the case because like i said before, hikki has a huge problem with taking things the wrong way and being hyperpessimistic. pessimism isn't healthy, and relating to pessimism doesn't make it alright. |
SenjougaharaMay 9, 2013 9:16 PM
May 9, 2013 9:17 PM
#38
^ And that's one of his character flaws, and should be dealt with by means of character development, making the story interesting, and making him a dimensional character. Depending on the story, a good character should always be better liked by the audience and a better person by the end of the show than they were at the beginning. But honestly, can you even blame him? It's been shown that he's been bullied pretty much his entire life. |
Red_KeysMay 9, 2013 9:24 PM
May 9, 2013 9:25 PM
#39
Red_Keys said: ^ And that's one of his character flaws, and should be dealt with by means of character development, making the story interesting, and making him a dimensional character. Depending on the story, a good character should always be better liked by the audience and a better person by the end of the show than they were at the beginning. yes, that's what i'm hoping for. i want to see him, and by extension the audience, to realize that that frame of mind is a really unhealthy one to have. i have no problems with hikki as a character since after all, bad characters do not automatically mean bad writing; my problem is the people here who hear speeches like his and relate to them in a manner that allows them to believe it's ok to think that if a girl (or person) is nice to you but doesn't put out they're automatically evil and trying to hurt you deliberately. |
May 9, 2013 11:03 PM
#40
mogana said: Red_Keys said: ^ And that's one of his character flaws, and should be dealt with by means of character development, making the story interesting, and making him a dimensional character. Depending on the story, a good character should always be better liked by the audience and a better person by the end of the show than they were at the beginning. yes, that's what i'm hoping for. i want to see him, and by extension the audience, to realize that that frame of mind is a really unhealthy one to have. i have no problems with hikki as a character since after all, bad characters do not automatically mean bad writing; my problem is the people here who hear speeches like his and relate to them in a manner that allows them to believe it's ok to think that if a girl (or person) is nice to you but doesn't put out they're automatically evil and trying to hurt you deliberately. No one said they want to hurt people, in fact it's exactly what they don't want. But they might end up hurting someone in the process. If you are kind to someone, not because you appreciate the person, but for some other reason, well that's wrong. In this case hikki believes it's out of guilt. Yeah he's wrong about what he believes about her, but it's really understandable why he believes that. A problem with these "nice people", is that if you are nice to everyone then people you really appreciate might not notice that you do. |
May 10, 2013 2:05 AM
#41
Hachiman sensei's words = Always gets you in heart. |
May 10, 2013 2:45 AM
#42
AnimeHAwk616 said: MellowJello said: You now what they say.. "Nice guys finish last"So do girls hate nice guys? Teehee. but treating them like trash is even worse. I second this. |
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May 10, 2013 3:21 AM
#43
guyklc said: ... Whenever I meet someone nice, I thought I've finally met a real friend. But then, I realized that they are nice to everyone. And because they are nice to everyone, everyone else wants their help and comforting. Eventually, these nice people moved on to helping other people, and I can't help but feel that they've forgotten about me. It was a nice scene, though. It made me realized that the reason why nice people left wasn't because they betrayed me, but because they are too generally nice helping other people. Vanisher said: No one said they want to hurt people, in fact it's exactly what they don't want. But they might end up hurting someone in the process. Wow.. This thread really opens up thoughts.. I'm a nice girl. The kind of nice that Yui is. I can't not be nice. But if I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't approach them at all in the first place. I keep my distance. But if they approach me, I have no reason to be rude. And the next time I see them, I would smile or say hi to acknowledge their presence. But it's true what guyklc said.. About the nice people moving on to help others. I've realised I end up doing that. If I see that I can help someone in even a small way, I do. But when I help out someone, after that I move on to others to see if I can help anyone else. I end up expecting the one I just helped out to be able to do those things themselves now.. I realise how wrong I could be. Red_Keys said: I hate to say it, but I'm one of those "nice" people. I just can't stand to not be nice to somebody, even if I really don't like them. There was this girl that I knew in middle school. She was really fucking weird, and nobody really liked her. But for some reason, she would always talk to me. I hate to sound like an asshole, but I really did not want to talk to her. At all. And yet, I did. I was always nice to her. I kind of "led her on", so to say, with friendship.... But as soon as she was around me, and contact was unavoidable, I put on the "mask" of being friendly. If I was with other people and she came up to me, the other people would pretty much leave, so it would be just me and her. Other people were mean enough, so she never approached them. I had a similar situation to Red_Keys when I was in school. I didn't loathe her as much you did.. I didn't mind talking to her, she had a lot to share. But it was too much. She believed she found a friend in me, so she would usually sit beside me in class and open her thoughts out. But I had my bunch of friends that I liked to be with too. But I like being nice. And I like helping people out. But I never mean to hurt anyone. If I don't want to be close, I try distancing myself out. But one day I met her while traveling and this was 4 years after school. And we talked a bit, but she kept a certain distance from me and I couldn't understand why until she told me in a way that my being nice to everyone was a convenient way to live. But only for myself. She said something like, "You make people believe they can be close to you." And it really hit me that I hurt her. But how could I be rude to someone without any reason to be? I've kept that in my mind since, and the past year, I've been conscious when dealing with new people. I'm trying to be more open and honest about my opinion of them, but there's always this question and this unknown guilt about whether I'm leading people on, or being selfish because I don't want trouble with anyone, and I've been having ridiculous mood swings where I just shut people out. I've ended up saying a few cold things at times, and I don't know if it's good, bad, healthy. I do gauge their reactions.. sometimes I let it sink in, sometimes I say sorry. But somewhere, the way I'm dealing with people is just getting messed up. I want it to be formal and informal at the same time. Am I still trying to make my life convenient? I don't know. I don't want to be a puppeteer. The point about me trying to move on to helping others once I'm done with someone.. That is really affecting my relationship right now. Because he feels as if I'm looking elsewhere when he needs me again. :/ :\ |
_____ _ _ ______ Within pain, there is desire. _____ _ _ ______ |
May 10, 2013 4:02 AM
#44
Rather than be artificially nice or preventively rude, can't we just all be ourselves? No, most of the time we can't because this society takes friendliness for granted. If you don't crack your face up in a smile towards everyone, you are already considered rude -_- I know what I'm talking about. Here in Germany, you are expected to greet everyone you meet on the street (exaggerating) and a doctor would tell you you have a life-threatening disease with a huge smile on his face (not exaggerating). Should you even once forget to greet your neighbor when walking past his house, he'll get pissed and then everyone will talk about what an unfriendly person you are -_- Most people consider me a rude person. I'm used to being hated and I'm even more used to being hated for no reason, so I don't even bother following those ridiculous customs. I'm not a good enough actor to keep up a 'nice person' act all the time. My facade would crumble pretty fast. That way, only the people I can get along with actually stay by my side. And the rest - well they're rather fast to run their mouths but I couldn't care less about them. |
May 10, 2013 5:03 AM
#45
Naoki-Saten said: Rather than be artificially nice or preventively rude, can't we just all be ourselves? Mainly, that's what people will say but never act upon it. We seek for truth in a world that revolves around lies after all. Sometimes I ask myself if society and culture made humans evolve or just press the 'skip' button for self destruction, but then I realize that we're not perfect and the only way to correct out flawed views and mistakes is with trial and error (something that seems to be happening in this show right now). Hikki is being naive by acting the way he did - but he didn't do that out of a whim. It has been discussed a lot already and when people stop looking at the situation as a viewer (outsider) and actually look at it in his perspective, it's easy to understand why he (and probably 99% of others in the same circumstances) made that choice. Red_Keys said: Wow I sound like a complete selfish asshole. And I kinda am an asshole. Actually, if you read the story I wrote a while back about how I lost my virginity, it was kind of a situation similar to this. I completely led this girl on, and even had sex with her, all because I didn't have the guts to turn her down. In the end, I really hurt her, and I feel shitty every time I think about it. I believe there's a difference between being an asshole and recognizing that you acted like one. I mean, do you still do that sort of thing? If not, then you grew up - there's no reason to feel shitty about it anymore. Now if you still do it, then you would really only have yourself to blame. No one is pure in this world, we all did something that we feel ashamed at times and it's usually something we can't help thinking about. What really counts is if you reflected that and changed your behavior accordingly. |
May 10, 2013 5:09 AM
#46
Naoki-Saten said: Rather than be artificially nice or preventively rude, can't we just all be ourselves? No, most of the time we can't because this society takes friendliness for granted. If you don't crack your face up in a smile towards everyone, you are already considered rude -_- I know what I'm talking about. Here in Germany, you are expected to greet everyone you meet on the street (exaggerating) and a doctor would tell you you have a life-threatening disease with a huge smile on his face (not exaggerating). Should you even once forget to greet your neighbor when walking past his house, he'll get pissed and then everyone will talk about what an unfriendly person you are -_- Most people consider me a rude person. I'm used to being hated and I'm even more used to being hated for no reason, so I don't even bother following those ridiculous customs. I'm not a good enough actor to keep up a 'nice person' act all the time. My facade would crumble pretty fast. That way, only the people I can get along with actually stay by my side. And the rest - well they're rather fast to run their mouths but I couldn't care less about them. That exactly like my situation except I don't know if some people hate me or not but I generally don't put a facade I say a lot of rude thing to people I don't like who are kinda clingy the weird part is I don't even realize I was being rude , my friends usually point out to me that I was rude. |
May 10, 2013 5:25 AM
#47
tsudecimo said: That exactly like my situation except I don't know if some people hate me or not but I generally don't put a facade I say a lot of rude thing to people I don't like who are kinda clingy the weird part is I don't even realize I was being rude , my friends usually point out to me that I was rude. Well I didn't think I was being rude or angry too, as I've said, until one girl in class came and asked me why I always look so angry. While I didn't learn anything from it, I must say I succeeded on getting people away from me. |
May 10, 2013 5:41 AM
#48
Ascius said: Well I didn't think I was being rude or angry too, as I've said, until one girl in class came and asked me why I always look so angry. While I didn't learn anything from it, I must say I succeeded on getting people away from me. Rude: Offensively impolite or ill-mannered Inside your head you were thinking "please just leave me alone", that was inside your head. People ask things because they don't know the answer to the question they asked. So if you ignore someone even though they didn't do anything wrong, the only conclusion one would usually have is "you're being rude". In fact, it's already very childish to ignore people anyway. Humans can't read minds iirc, you need to speak what you're thinking. |
May 10, 2013 5:57 AM
#49
Niyawa said: Rude: Offensively impolite or ill-mannered Inside your head you were thinking "please just leave me alone", that was inside your head. People ask things because they don't know the answer to the question they asked. So if you ignore someone even though they didn't do anything wrong, the only conclusion one would usually have is "you're being rude". In fact, it's already very childish to ignore people anyway. Humans can't read minds iirc, you need to speak what you're thinking. I was impolite, I've tried to get people away because I just can't handle them, I know it's a problem and it's all in my head, but I can't stand being in a group of people, I can't even stand more than 2 people, so I was just always with an angry face. When question came up, I never said why I don't want to talk to them, just made up some rude answer, for them, just to get them away. I retrospective I regret it, regret to this day and I know I've hurt a lot of people by doing this or not trusting them, yet I cannot change it and I have to live with it, for me, being invisible was the goal of life and in the end I didn't want people to care about me, in one way or the other, pretty much like 8man. All he wanted was a clean slate, but without starting over from there again, same here. |
May 10, 2013 5:59 AM
#50
Shouldn't we be nice to everyone? |
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