Pleasantly surprised. So far, the absolute BEST episode of the series. I'm really really grateful that they didn't disappoint us in this 23rd episode. A lot of emotions felt here. And finally, surprisingly, we get to know A LOT about Misaki. Happy that they managed to give us her story so late in the show.
I had a feeling something was up from the beginning. She was suddenly too happy while doing the quiz thing, famous last words, talking about the promontory which has become a spot where people commit suicide, asking rhetorically whether grated yams on New Year are good. It was supported further by the new contract she wrote. From a regular perspective, yeah, it was awkward and creepy. But if you see it from the perspective of someone who's observed her and knows her (us, as the viewer), it makes sense. As her uncle would later say, she's socially inept. That means she's not the best at interacting with people, and the way she expressed her feelings and thoughts was through that contract. It might seem that she looks down on him, and probably she does, but at the same time that's because she is insecure about herself (the bit in Satou's room was really deep and right, how people lower others to feel better about themselves).
But Misaki's true desires are seen here. She wants someone to love her, to need her, to be there for and with her. It's not purely because she sees him as someone lower who she can feel better about herself around. She WANTS him in her life, even if she can't express it in a better way.
I felt sad when Misaki's backstory was finally revealed. Her biological father dying, her step-father beating her mother and her up constantly, her mother committing suicide, her being left alone with her evil step-father. These things really destroy someone's life. I understand now why she's done what she's done and why she's said what she's said. She's broken, really really broken. She is far more broken than Satou ever was. The violence from her step-father traumatised her, seeing him beating up her mother and beating up her. And then her mother committed suicide, which made it worse. I'd think she thought, did her mother really love her as her daughter if she killed herself and left her alone with her step-father, causing her even more pain and suffering? Growing up, she didn't feel any love or affection. No one seemed to love her, no one seemed to care for her, no one seemed to need her. There seemed like no reason for her existence.
Not sure what caused her sudden collapse. But I almost knew she was going to her hometown to kill herself (the conversation with Satou in the beginning). As some in this discussion have pointed out, Satou decided right. It was good for both him and her, not to have accepted her then and there with that contract. Why would anyone accept such a thing where clearly you are being looked down upon? Even if he had accepted for the sake of Misaki, it would not have helped her either. She would have leaned on him like a crutch and wouldn't be able to live. She would still be broken, not learning or becoming someone better at all. How he HANDLED it was horrible. He rejected her harshly and didn't even give her a clear reason, even when she screamed that she was lonely, basically admitting completely that truly it is her who needs him, more than he needs her (probably).
Good on Satou to get a job and leave his hikikomori/NEET life. It's really plausible that when faced with death, that's when Satou finally forces himself to find a job to earn money. But his words explained why it doesn't work on everyone. If you are not ready to die, then you will work. But not all hikikomori aren't ready to die, some are. It might not work on them. Thankfully, it worked on Satou.
That was a really intense episode, and made watching all the 22 episodes before it worthwhile. I'm really sad that it's coming to an end now. I don't want it to ever end. Finally feels this anime has really become what it has been all along.
Now, Satou, save her. Save Misaki. |