New
Mar 11, 2012 10:02 PM
#51
Lol of course. Though Im 20.. 17+ for me lol so like when im 21.. 18+ and so on haha, its weird though cuz I like the older girls to..like 5 yrs older :D |
Mar 11, 2012 10:23 PM
#52
Age gaps can pose difficulties on relationships. You tend to be at different life stages eg one still wants to party while the other wants to settle down. It is awkward when with your/their friends as there isn't much in common. Stuff like that. I think age gaps are a bigger problem when you are younger though. Five years is a huge difference in mental maturity when you are 19 but not a big deal at 35 for example. It does come down to the individuals though. |
Mar 12, 2012 12:41 AM
#53
It obviously matters. Anyone that says it doesn't matter is lying. That's not to say there's anything inherently wrong with a relationship where there's a big age difference or that it's something that can't be overcome, but the further you get apart in age, the more of an issue it's going to be. This applies more the younger one of the people is, as should be obvious. |
Mar 12, 2012 1:33 AM
#54
kiminotameni said: It does matter if the difference between both ages are huge. And also matters if the girl/boy is like 11 and the other girl/boy is 14 or more. Not sure if by 11 and 14 or more, you saying age or years apart. If age then the fact they'd be dating or in a relationship is baffling. But if years then it just depends on the type of people they are. Considering any age gap. That's 18+ of course. If she's 16 and she's dating a 23+ guy, I wouldn't call that a relationship; just a cry for attention. |
<img src="http://i.minus.com/iU15kP7WlDpb5.gif" /> Credit goes to Raxius |
Mar 12, 2012 4:41 AM
#55
Tachii said: On a side note, can't seem to concentrate on forum posts lately, so this post of mine is probably useless and doesn't contribute to the topic at hand. Actually, your post is one of the few intelligent ones in this topic. Your points were valid and you did put some real thoughts into your post. :) Nevertheless, I'd tend to say that the original question of this thread being "Does age matter in relationships" should unvalidate it as obviously the persons who are in a relationship with an age gap clearly don't care about it. Otherwise they won't be together... SwordMeister said: If she's 16 and she's dating a 23+ guy, I wouldn't call that a relationship; just a cry for attention. May I ask how exactly a personal choice of mating, a choice that will have consequences in one's daily "private" life, something that shall blossom the persons in this relationship, how can that choice that may last over years, decades, be a freaking cry for attention? When I was a teen, I never was attracted by teenager boys. I was friends with many of them, I enjoyed spending time with them but I never lusted for any of them. Why? Because, to me, they were not "finished" sexually. I simply couldn't be attracted by the body of a male who was still hairless, skinny, and was just not done "mutating". So, consequently, from my 12 to my 18, I was only attracted by men in their 20s and even then, they had to look "manly" and not "boyish". That is just a very personal sexual taste. Sexual taste that is as much important as the platonic bond between two persons, when it comes to a romantic relationship. Speaking of bonds... The whole "generation"/"interests" thing kinda pisses me off, dudes (and dudettes). :D One of my favorite movie is Metropolis by Fritz Lang. Made in 1927. One of my favorite musician is Glenn Gould (1932/1982) who often played Bach music (1685/1750). My favorite book when I was a teenager was Les Fleurs du Mal by Baudelaire (1821/1867). And I could go on and on... Maybe a lot of you consider that only only shows/books and art pieces made after 2000, aka during your teen years, are worthy of interest but there are many persons out there who just like art and culture under different shapes, from different horizons and also of different ages. Also, it's extremely insulting to read that older men would be interested in younger women only for her looks and her talent in bed. Seriously... Finally, it would have been nice to have the opinion of people who have lived that situation rather than hearing stereotypes, superficial ideas and projections. (And to the ones thinking "what did you expect? People posting on this forum are very young.", I'd reply that you don't have to be of a certain age to have an intelligent reasoning and maturity. Oh well...) |
Mar 12, 2012 6:44 AM
#56
Age doesnt matter unless youre talking like an 8 year old an a 60 year old Age is just a number and everyone has a different physical and mental maturity. It only becomes a problem if someone in the relationship chooses to see it as a problem |
Mar 12, 2012 11:31 AM
#59
just as a banana is a banana, and cows are cows, so too it must be that love is love! Therefore, not at all. i think that when you're two months old, you're perfectly well capable of deciding who you fall in love with! |
-Fixing- |
Mar 12, 2012 1:30 PM
#60
As long as no one is brainwashed, I don't see anything wrong with most absurd pairings. I bet most of the people who are against this are picturing an older guy with a younger girl and never the other way around. I bet they are also mainly only thinking about the sexual part of the relationship, which is why they are so quick to judge. People can be so close-minded sometimes. |
Signature removed. Please follow the signature rules, as defined in the Site & Forum Guidelines. |
Mar 12, 2012 1:47 PM
#61
RedStarLight said: As long as no one is brainwashed, I don't see anything wrong with most absurd pairings. I bet most of the people who are against this are picturing an older guy with a younger girl and never the other way around. I bet they are also mainly only thinking about the sexual part of the relationship, which is why they are so quick to judge. People can be so close-minded sometimes. No I can picture easily a young boy with an olderrrr woman. I just think a boy/girl who's 12-14 going out with a 26-28 woman/man is just wrong. Call me close-minded but no. It's pedophilia ^-^ |
Mar 12, 2012 1:52 PM
#62
Nintendosoni said: Basically, it does. |
My apologies, children, for I am afraid I cannot save you all. |
Mar 12, 2012 2:35 PM
#63
I think love is pretty broad and it should be accepted as such. There's a lot of different reasons for love, and some more shallow than others. But as long as both partners want to be in the relationship, why shouldn't they be? Same goes for sex. I don't see any reason why, say, a 14 year old girl and a 25 year old guy can't have sex. (Aside from the law which I am not taking into account as I believe it is wrong.) If it's entirely consensual, why should it be morally or lawfully wrong? Is it because they'll regret it later? Who knows. If they do, it was their fault. The law should not protect people from themselves. It's a simple freedom that we should have. Here's my idea of an ideal system - There would be no age of consent. It should simply go by whether the person in question has hit puberty. If they have, they are "legal", so to speak. Safe methods would be highly recommended and encouraged to all youth, and condoms would be cheap and easy to acquire no matter your age. Abortion would be completely legal. As for statutory rape, it would be illegal, but not a huge offense. (This is assuming it was consensual.) If the victim was injured or was found to only consent because they were threatened or for other reasons, then it would just be flat out rape. I have pretty liberal views on this. Feel free to argue, but just take into account that your morals don't count as an argument. |
Mar 12, 2012 4:55 PM
#64
depends, if the gap is just unmeasurable then thats just f*ckedup! peado alert! |
Mar 13, 2012 7:22 AM
#65
skutieos said: Here's my idea of an ideal system - There would be no age of consent. It should simply go by whether the person in question has hit puberty. If they have, they are "legal", so to speak. Safe methods would be highly recommended and encouraged to all youth, and condoms would be cheap and easy to acquire no matter your age. Abortion would be completely legal. As for statutory rape, it would be illegal, but not a huge offense. (This is assuming it was consensual.) If the victim was injured or was found to only consent because they were threatened or for other reasons, then it would just be flat out rape. I have pretty liberal views on this. Feel free to argue, but just take into account that your morals don't count as an argument. The onset of puberty is a grey area from both a biological and legal standpoint. And let's say there's some line-in-the-sand way to measure whether a person is sexually mature: there would almost certainly be no way to measure this in retrospect. By the time a sex offender is caught, indicted, and tried, months will have passed, even without red tape. As it is now, we can say, "the incident occurred on X/X/X, and the victim was not of the age of consent on that date." But under your ideal system, there's the possibility that the victim would test as "sexually mature" at the time of the trial -- but who's to say whether or not he was sexually mature on X/X/X. I understand that that system is "ideal," and I agree. But it's not feasible. |
CuriousThingMar 13, 2012 10:09 AM
Mar 13, 2012 1:23 PM
#66
Mar 13, 2012 2:40 PM
#67
Well, I'm a lolicon, so I'm gunna go with no. Gotta love dem loli's. |
Mar 14, 2012 5:12 AM
#68
this is going to go on forever the truth is it still only matters if you make it matter and it determines the type of relationship |
Mar 14, 2012 8:41 AM
#69
Well if they are truly in love then age wouldn't matter, but if your the kind of person who dosen't want to date creepy old men and woman there you go. |
Mar 14, 2012 12:41 PM
#70
Hakuromatsu said: skutieos said: Here's my idea of an ideal system - There would be no age of consent. It should simply go by whether the person in question has hit puberty. If they have, they are "legal", so to speak. Safe methods would be highly recommended and encouraged to all youth, and condoms would be cheap and easy to acquire no matter your age. Abortion would be completely legal. As for statutory rape, it would be illegal, but not a huge offense. (This is assuming it was consensual.) If the victim was injured or was found to only consent because they were threatened or for other reasons, then it would just be flat out rape. I have pretty liberal views on this. Feel free to argue, but just take into account that your morals don't count as an argument. The onset of puberty is a grey area from both a biological and legal standpoint. And let's say there's some line-in-the-sand way to measure whether a person is sexually mature: there would almost certainly be no way to measure this in retrospect. By the time a sex offender is caught, indicted, and tried, months will have passed, even without red tape. As it is now, we can say, "the incident occurred on X/X/X, and the victim was not of the age of consent on that date." But under your ideal system, there's the possibility that the victim would test as "sexually mature" at the time of the trial -- but who's to say whether or not he was sexually mature on X/X/X. I understand that that system is "ideal," and I agree. But it's not feasible. You raise a valid point. Maybe the age of consent could simply be lower? It seems to be 16-18 most places, but I think 12-13 would be fair, since that is, in general, about the time frame that puberty would set in. |
Mar 14, 2012 12:50 PM
#71
skutieos said: Hakuromatsu said: skutieos said: Here's my idea of an ideal system - There would be no age of consent. It should simply go by whether the person in question has hit puberty. If they have, they are "legal", so to speak. Safe methods would be highly recommended and encouraged to all youth, and condoms would be cheap and easy to acquire no matter your age. Abortion would be completely legal. As for statutory rape, it would be illegal, but not a huge offense. (This is assuming it was consensual.) If the victim was injured or was found to only consent because they were threatened or for other reasons, then it would just be flat out rape. I have pretty liberal views on this. Feel free to argue, but just take into account that your morals don't count as an argument. The onset of puberty is a grey area from both a biological and legal standpoint. And let's say there's some line-in-the-sand way to measure whether a person is sexually mature: there would almost certainly be no way to measure this in retrospect. By the time a sex offender is caught, indicted, and tried, months will have passed, even without red tape. As it is now, we can say, "the incident occurred on X/X/X, and the victim was not of the age of consent on that date." But under your ideal system, there's the possibility that the victim would test as "sexually mature" at the time of the trial -- but who's to say whether or not he was sexually mature on X/X/X. I understand that that system is "ideal," and I agree. But it's not feasible. You raise a valid point. Maybe the age of consent could simply be lower? It seems to be 16-18 most places, but I think 12-13 would be fair, since that is, in general, about the time frame that puberty would set in. It's not because you're pubert that you are mature enough to start a sexual life though. 16 sounds fine for an intellectual maturity. 12/13 clearly doesn't. Edit: Just as information, in my country (France), that age is set at 15 years old. Going lower just would sound redonkulous to me. |
Mar 14, 2012 1:16 PM
#72
Liloute said: It's not because you're pubert that you are mature enough to start a sexual life though. 16 sounds fine for an intellectual maturity. 12/13 clearly doesn't. Edit: Just as information, in my country (France), that age is set at 15 years old. Going lower just would sound redonkulous to me. You treat sex as if it wasn't a natural instinct that everyone experiences. Shoot, years before I hit puberty I had sexual thoughts/urges. I must have been like 10 when I started looking at porn. It was all rooted in my natural curiosity. If you don't think 12 or 13 year olds know anything about sex, you'd be wrong. I'd also say that in general, 12-13 is an age where you really start becoming aware of what you are doing and the possible risks. When I was that age, I know that I was certainly "intellectually mature" in regards to sex. People just don't seem to take kids seriously. |
Mar 14, 2012 1:28 PM
#73
skutieos said: Liloute said: It's not because you're pubert that you are mature enough to start a sexual life though. 16 sounds fine for an intellectual maturity. 12/13 clearly doesn't. Edit: Just as information, in my country (France), that age is set at 15 years old. Going lower just would sound redonkulous to me. You treat sex as if it wasn't a natural instinct that everyone experiences. Shoot, years before I hit puberty I had sexual thoughts/urges. I must have been like 10 when I started looking at porn. It was all rooted in my natural curiosity. If you don't think 12 or 13 year olds know anything about sex, you'd be wrong. I'd also say that in general, 12-13 is an age where you really start becoming aware of what you are doing and the possible risks. When I was that age, I know that I was certainly "intellectually mature" in regards to sex. People just don't seem to take kids seriously. I started masturbating at 6, so it has nothing to do with that. Sex is not just sex. It also involves emotions, responsabilities and bonds. You need a certain maturity, experience, and self-confidence to enter in a sexual relationship. For example, I lost my virginity at 14 because I was afraid to lose my boyfriend if I'd say no. Nowadays, if a man would threaten me to break up because I refuse to have sex with him right away, he'll get my knee in his balls. It requires time and experience to know what you really want and what you are able of. Besides, puberty is not the final stage of sexual maturation so using that as only matter for the age of consent is very random. Sincerely, it's like saying "there, that girl bleeds, she can fuck". Since when?!! Age of consent shall be given to teenagers and not pubert children. There is a very thin line but it is here. It's also important to keep in mind that this law is not here into not take children seriously, it's into protect them. Last but not least: why anyone would like to have sex with someone who is 12 years old is beyond me... |
Mar 14, 2012 2:42 PM
#74
Ok, you have valid points and first hand experience, so I guess I don't really have the right to argue with you. But sometimes the age of consent really screws people over, people who have really done nothing wrong. I don't know if you remember this story - http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43909060/ns/today-today_people/t/hes-labeled-sex-offender-sleeping-his-own-wife/ but it's a good example. The system today, though mostly good, has flaws. Try as I might, I can't think of how to solve them. But something has to be different. Is there not a way to separate the exploiters from the lovers? |
Mar 14, 2012 4:22 PM
#75
skutieos said: Ok, you have valid points and first hand experience, so I guess I don't really have the right to argue with you. But sometimes the age of consent really screws people over, people who have really done nothing wrong. I don't know if you remember this story - http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43909060/ns/today-today_people/t/hes-labeled-sex-offender-sleeping-his-own-wife/ but it's a good example. The system today, though mostly good, has flaws. Try as I might, I can't think of how to solve them. But something has to be different. Is there not a way to separate the exploiters from the lovers? i dunno, IMO dont fall in love with kids. some of you might believe you cant choose who you fall in love with... but personally i couldnt fall in love with a child, because i wouldnt let myself become close to her |
Mar 15, 2012 2:56 AM
#76
Mar 15, 2012 4:14 AM
#77
Naw it doesn't matter.....take for instance my wifey is two years older than me and I met her in my last school year......Awww the memories.....and a lot of people disapproved our relationship...Now we've been married almost two years, after like dating for like five years....So it's what you make of it. |
<!--link--><a href="http://myanimelist.net/animelist/Lokidwarf&sclick=1"> |
Mar 15, 2012 5:29 AM
#78
Snowing said: Yes. It does. Old man + little girl. Yes. age matters alot. You know, I think most people who said age gaps don't matter were people who agreed that they were talking about two adults. :) |
Mar 15, 2012 6:03 AM
#79
RedStarLight said: As long as no one is brainwashed, I don't see anything wrong with most absurd pairings. I bet most of the people who are against this are picturing an older guy with a younger girl and never the other way around. I bet they are also mainly only thinking about the sexual part of the relationship, which is why they are so quick to judge. People can be so close-minded sometimes. Odd couples are cute xD Yeah I actually found something very interesting. You know in every depiction of a vampire they are like several hundred to several thousands of years old but no one really cares when they are with some young girl in literature or movies. So it goes to show they really just care about looks for the most part. O.o As long as couples keep it appropriate for the younger one i think almost any relationship can work okay. Maffy said: No I can picture easily a young boy with an olderrrr woman. I just think a boy/girl who's 12-14 going out with a 26-28 woman/man is just wrong. Call me close-minded but no. It's pedophilia ^-^ No pedophilia would be under 11. 12-14 is closer to hebephilia or was it hebophilia? |
Mar 15, 2012 9:19 AM
#80
Well... when a person is young if they are dating someone 10+ years older than them I think it's kind of weird. Like a 14 year old guy or girl dating a 24 year old. Though as people get older it seems less weird. If love is there then go for it, but I do think dating someone significantly older than you is an overall bad idea. Personally I'd rather be with someone around my own age. |
Leader of Whiteout Scans Current project: ReLIFE |
Mar 15, 2012 12:12 PM
#81
Age doesn't, mentality does. Granted a huge age gap in a couple is unorthodox, but we still see it as an occasional thing in today's dating society and more often than not; it's generally a happy couple. |
Mar 15, 2012 2:15 PM
#83
''beauty lays in the eye of the beholder'' well not really,but if you find someone/something attractive then no one else should have a say in your decision,so if it feels good and you want it then go all out with your 'love'. i myself prefer the older ladies (i mean 20-40 years) |
Mar 15, 2012 2:17 PM
#84
its really hard to find hot pedophiles, well in ireland anyways |
Mar 15, 2012 10:10 PM
#85
Zekkyou said: Obviously it matters P: Though the extent of how much it effects said relationship depends on the age difference as well as the current actual age. A 10 year gap for a couple aged 50 and 60 is perfectly acceptable in most modern societies... But if your 18 and going out with an 8 years old... Then i have to question the stability of your mind... Well based on what you're saying we should be going by age ratio, not age differential. A 60-year-old dating a 50-year-old is more equivalent to a 18-year-old dating a 15-year-old, not an 8-year-old. |
Mar 15, 2012 10:16 PM
#86
Physical age not really, Mental Age yes, people at two entirely different points in their lives, with different concerns and responsibilities are gonna have a hard time meshing. |
It doesn't think, it doesn't feel, it doesn't laugh or cry..... All it does from dusk till dawn is make the soldiers die. |
Mar 16, 2012 12:23 AM
#87
To me, personally, age matters in that I won't date someone who isn't 18 or 19 (and that's pushing it for me because I like to go out and drink). On a grander, more ethics/more scale, not really. Clearly the other person has to be able to consent to a relationship for it to be legitimate, but if an 18 year old girl, living on her own, wants to date some 50-60 dude... go for it. And I say this as someone who would never, ever, ever allow his daughter to date someone that much older than her while she lived under my room haha |
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v238/Holy_Knight/faustssig.jpg" /> |
Mar 16, 2012 12:36 AM
#88
Hakuromatsu said: Zekkyou said: Obviously it matters P: Though the extent of how much it effects said relationship depends on the age difference as well as the current actual age. A 10 year gap for a couple aged 50 and 60 is perfectly acceptable in most modern societies... But if your 18 and going out with an 8 years old... Then i have to question the stability of your mind... Well based on what you're saying we should be going by age ratio, not age differential. A 60-year-old dating a 50-year-old is more equivalent to a 18-year-old dating a 15-year-old, not an 8-year-old. Um. That's exactly his point..... |
Mar 16, 2012 12:31 PM
#89
Bloodcalibur said: Hakuromatsu said: Zekkyou said: Obviously it matters P: Though the extent of how much it effects said relationship depends on the age difference as well as the current actual age. A 10 year gap for a couple aged 50 and 60 is perfectly acceptable in most modern societies... But if your 18 and going out with an 8 years old... Then i have to question the stability of your mind... Well based on what you're saying we should be going by age ratio, not age differential. A 60-year-old dating a 50-year-old is more equivalent to a 18-year-old dating a 15-year-old, not an 8-year-old. Um. That's exactly his point..... "Well based on what you're saying" I elaborated on his point by putting it in mathematical terms. Problem? |
Mar 16, 2012 2:25 PM
#90
Hakuromatsu said: Bloodcalibur said: Hakuromatsu said: Zekkyou said: Obviously it matters P: Though the extent of how much it effects said relationship depends on the age difference as well as the current actual age. A 10 year gap for a couple aged 50 and 60 is perfectly acceptable in most modern societies... But if your 18 and going out with an 8 years old... Then i have to question the stability of your mind... Well based on what you're saying we should be going by age ratio, not age differential. A 60-year-old dating a 50-year-old is more equivalent to a 18-year-old dating a 15-year-old, not an 8-year-old. Um. That's exactly his point..... "Well based on what you're saying" I elaborated on his point by putting it in mathematical terms. Problem? Seemed more like you tried to correct him instead, but ended up saying the same point. |
Mar 16, 2012 3:41 PM
#91
Whatever you want to think, Bloodcalibur. |
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