Soujuu Senshi Psychic Wars

Have you ever witnessed a man punching cancer in the face? Me neither, until I watched Psychic Wars.

The above may sound like a scene mistakenly taken out of context, but do not be fooled: this is an anime that takes itself very seriously. It is an anime so atrociously bad on every level that solitary confinement may be considered a more pleasurable experience. Perhaps if I were not some kind of passive-aggressive masochist who finds amusement in dreadful anime, I would have attempted to hang myself in order to free my mind from this abomination. Welcome to Toei Animation's brilliant chef-d'oeuvre: Psychic Wars.

Writing a ... proper synopsis for this anime is about as difficult as writing a master's thesis, seeing as absolutely nothing in the story makes sense to begin with. It's after the startling discovery of living cancer that doctor Ukyo suddenly finds himself standing outside of his car in the middle of nowhere, beckoned to an abandoned shack by the wind growling at him (literally). Inside he finds an idol, which awakens Super Saiyan abilities inside of him after many hideously animated explosions and encouragement from a mysterious voice. Why was he there in the first place? Why is he even given these powers? What logical connection does this scene have to the previous one? Who knows. Maybe it was just too deep and profound for my plebeian mind to comprehend.

The rest of the story makes about as much sense as anything before. With Ukyo incoherently being teleported to an ancient Earth (colored in sepia— truly magnificent artistic design), cancer headcrabs jumping on him while he makes homoerotic noises, a race of time-travelling ogres aspiring to rule the world, and Ukyo punching one of said ogres in the testicles— there becomes a point when the viewer starts to wonder what the fuck they are even watching. It's around the scene when Ukyo's naked body is prominently displayed on the balcony that the entire experience begins to feel like a horrifying nightmare; the kind that no amount of therapy will ever erase from your mind.

Psychic Wars' romance subplot is also revoltingly terrible, as is customary for this anime. There is no development in the relationship between Ukyo and his nurse, Fuyuko. It is something that simply happens. No explanation is given as to how they fell in love with each other, and there is no reason for the viewer to care even the slightest bit about their feelings. It seems that in the world of Psychic Wars, fundamental narrative steps are irrelevant. Instead, complacency is found through the duplication of abysmal B-movies, marked by the two hugging under the sunset while cheesy music plays in the background. And in order to produce even more cringeworthy melodrama, his love interest just so happens to be the antagonist that the entire film was excessively foreshadowing. I bet you were never expecting such a shocking revelation.

Ukyo is one of the most bland characters of any anime, a gary stu with absolutely no defining features besides his super saiyan abilities. Is he a sympathetic character that unfortunately fell victim to the abominable writing, or is he simply there to seem 'cool' and progress events along? Who knows. It's not like Psychic Wars ever cared about its characterization in the first place.

The dialogue is expressed through one of the worst dubs I have ever heard in my life. Not a single character sounds decent, nor do the voice actors even attempt to convey emotion through the dialogue. Ukyo sounds like a disgruntled man painfully forced to read the lines of something he knows is awful. His tone remains entirely identical throughout the film, no matter whether the scene be emotional or action-based. Fuyuko sounds horrid as well, but the side characters are easily the worst offender. Listening to the professor foolishly describe dull prehistoric history had me wanting to grab the nearest pen and stab my ears, while an old tribal man (sounding like a 20-year-old attempting to be 80) had me bursting out in some form of depraved laughter.

Even terrible anime at least contain a few redeeming aspects, but not Psychic Wars. This is a title worse than the terrible. The soundtrack feels plagiarized from any 80's B-Movie, while the animation and sound effects vary from poor to downright abhorrent. For an action movie, the scenes where Ukyo is actually fighting tend to be worse than anything else in the film. A significant amount of the choreography simply makes no sense, such as Ukyo flinging his head back and flying backwards in pain with no attack even connecting to his body. The frame-rate is often so choppy that it's difficult to even understand what is going on during the action scenes. Unfortunately, even the individuals with a fondness for the cheesy and low-budget will find nothing of value here. Only horror and heads repeatedly connecting with the nearest wall.

Psychic Wars is an abomination of an anime. It ranks at the very bottom with the likes of Mars of Destruction and Skelter Heaven, in some aspects even succeeding in being more nauseating. I would not even consider recommending this anime to any sane human being, unless you hate yourself and wish to engage in mental torture. Being locked in a room with Psychic Wars playing would undoubtedly turn any unfortunate soul comatose in a matter of hours.

This anime is worse than cancer. Run away, and never look back.

This was a surprising triumph over any desires for success or entertainment. The dialogue was stiff, the scene transitions were clumsy, the story was inane, the drama was laughable and the fights were silly at best.

I really wish I had more to say but it really was just that bad. The animation was maybe slightly above what you would see on Voltron, and yet, probably the best thing about this movie. Creating something this bad requires a dedicated team of sadists and misanthropists.

Let me start of by saying what a ride, Psychic Wars is the story of a young Doctor (About 46 or something) named Ukyo who gains "Super Sayian" like powers.

Now allow me to jump into the deeper parts of the plot as I deconstruct some of the symbolism that is in the movie.

-If you have been paying attention you would have noticed that I said Ukyo gained "Super Sayian" like powers however this isn't really true most of what happens in this movie is a dream however we don't need to dive into that plot point now.

To explain why his Ukyos powers aren't ... real we need to look at the movies second lead Fiyuko.

-Now Fiyuko in the dream is portrayed as a beautiful women whom Ukyo would like to "fuck" however with that said towards the end of the movie she takes on the form of the Demon Queen causing a conflict between Ukyo and Fiyuko.

This conflict results in a brawl or fight between the two at which point Ukyos powers are so strong that he causes her to bleed before she is defeated (She then reverts back to her usual form).

-- Well what did we miss? --
So where is the symbolism here huh?
Well it's right in-front of us we need simply open our eyes and look. Now because most of this story takes place in a dream most of what is seen in symbolic.

The fight between Ukyo and Fiyuko at the climax of the dream is a symbol of the two fucking.

BUT HOW, HOW IS IT A SYMBOL OF THEM FUCKING.

It's simple really Ukyo "Super Sayian" powers are simply his perceived manliness and the Demon Queen is Fiyuko in heat, the blood that arises from the conflict between the two is a literal representation of the blood that was present whilst the two were fucking (She was on her period)

In Ukyos mind Fiyuko is bleeding because he is too "manly" (keep in mind his powers are his perceived manliness) but in reality it's just that time of the month, this causes confusion between the two however in the end they both climax and Fiyuko returns to her normal state (no longer a horny slut)

And that my friends is Psychic Wars, I highly reccomend watching this movie with a bunch of mates so you can poke fun at the obvious and rather daft symbolism or watching it by your self so you can well .... rub one out.

10 OUTA 10

Why was this ever made? Horrible story that is followed by a stupid lead character with no reason to exist. My God what were they thinking? Where was quality control when this idea was presented? If you like anime that is bad in every facet, this is for you. Cheesy eng dub that wasn't even funny. I think it was supposed to be like Vampire Wars, but that one at least was cool for 25 out of 50 minutes. I could only stomach about 10 minutes before I skimmed thru till end. I never found a good part to at least say "Well that was ... cool". Nothing. I cannot recommend this unless you seen every other anime in existence.

Goddamn. I never thought I'd ever type the following sentence:
"This Movie is Worse than 'MD Geist II: The Death Force' "

A vacuous cast of cookie-cutter nobodies sleepwalk through a tissue-thin scrap of "plot". The animation wouldn't pass muster in an early 80s saturday morning cartoon. The dialogue is so dumb even Ed Wood, Jr. would've sent it back for a re-write. ...and the "big twist ending"....ye gods!
Even a brain-damaged chimp on Quaaludes could've guessed correctly who the shadowy "Queen of the Demons" was. Especially considering the movie only has three characters:
1) The Bland Marty Stu of a Hero.
2) His Bland Nobody of ... a Love Interest.
3) An Army of Orcs.
Gee, take 3 guesses who the secret "Queen of the Demons" is.

In the hands of a competent....anybody....the barely there "subplot" of "We, the Demons, have to genocide the humans, because a prophecy states if we don't, they will genocide us." could've been exploited for some small crumb of pathos....but no. No Competence exists within 1000 light years of this horrid horrid movie.

So if you want to use up your precious lifeforce watching an uninteresting cipher listlessly Kaioh-Ken-ing his way through a army of carbon copy of stiffly animated thugs to win the vapid affection of another uninteresting cipher....go watch....any other anime ever. Doesn't matter which one. Any other show would be an improvement.

I'm only giving a score of 1 because the MAL interface doesn't allow me to give it a negative number for a score.

This is without doubt the WORST anime i have ever seen.

Please never watch this, it will suck your soul away :(

I really wanted to love Psychic Wars, I really did. I mean, this is a story where the main character turns into a super sayan to punch cancer IN THE FACE! And the MC is visually a weird mix between Clark Kent/Kenshiro and Ash from Evil Dead!
That's my kind of so bad it's good show! But sadly, Psychic Wars is too broken to be really enjoyable...

Now, I've seen my share of crap shows/movies, but outside of maybe Turkish Star Wars, I've rarely seen a story so badly told. Imagine this: for 15 seconds you see the MC talking with a friend, followed by 10 seconds ... of the MC talking in the street with his girlfriend where he explained that he needs to do his mission alone, then another 20 seconds of the talk with his friend, then 5 seconds of flashback to a previous battle, followed by a scene where his girlfriend tells him that she will stays with him and then another flashback where some gods gaved him superpower and finally, the end of the talk with his friend.
Sounds confusing ? Well don't worry because that's how THE ENTIRE STORY of Psychic Wars is told !

Seriously, this OAV is almost unwatchable because the geniuses who made it broked every basic rules of storytelling. They cut scenes every two seconds, have zero sense of pacing, don't know how to established an atmosphere or to write a scene ! It honestly feels like this was made by aliens who never seen a movie in their life but tried to make one anyway.

The story and characters are actually so bad that you could honestly denies their existence. The characters have zero personality and the story is so full of plotholes that I'm surprised I can't see through it. For example, let me explains the plan of the bad guys (the demons): they are almost exterminated in the present so in order to survive, the demons from the past, who have a time machine, decide to time travel to conquer the present. Yes, this is the plot. Yes, you can reread their plan and yes, it makes zero sense.

Where does the time machine come from ? If they can control time, how did they lose in the first place? Hey, doesn't matter, because the MC kills them shortly after because those idiots decided to load their H.Q with conveniently placed explosives. Oh and yes, the fights and animation are terrible and ugly, so don't expect to have some good old cheesy fun action scenes.

The rest of the story is equally terrible, with a plot-twist so bad that even the MC spots the obvious plothole.

But if it's so bad, why I am giving it a 3 and not a 1? Simple.
One, there is nothing hateful about this OAV (unlike you SAO) and two, it does deserve a watch (despite how painful the experience can be) because it's bad in a pretty unique way.

Famously known as one of the worst anime shows of ALL TIME!

For the first several minutes, I was like, this isn't SO bad. I mean, it's along the same level of quality as most of the sub-par OVAs in the eighties or early nineties, but nothing to write home about.

But then, Doctor Rambo comes along and punches a giant flying tumor with his fist. And I'm like hot damn, we're in for a wild ride!

Yeah, Psychic Wars is bad -- to the point that it falls within that coveted ... "Terribad" territory. Meaning, it is so awful in so many ways, that it transcends its awfulness and actually becomes entertaining, as you continue to watch just to see how bad it is (i.e. the 'MST3K Effect'). It's awful across-the-board, starting from the very concept itself, into the clunky storytelling, the stiff acting, the unremarkable artwork and animation. And it takes itself seriously all the way through, which makes it all the better.

So, grab a bunch of your friends/drinking buddies and throw the VHS into the player and get ready to snark on it all the way through.

In this story(?) an uncannily-handsome surgeon becomes shinto superman and punches his way through incomprehensible editing, unintentionally hilarious writing and awful sound mixing, among other challenges. Oh, and demons who "eat women for food". Unfortunately, he does not become the demons, like in the famous piece of fan literature, but the final plot twist is nearly as funny as that.

Honestly, I just found this OVA on MAL, near the very end of the all-time ranking and decided it would be a good thing to watch with my GF for the laughs. And what a wonderful choice it was – the bizarre shortcuts in animation, nonsensical ... story setup and stilted dialogue already made it pretty funny, but it's everything around the fight scenes that made my stomach hurt from laughing out loud. The anime is so desperate to be badass and dramatic it drifts deep into comedy pretty much immediately and it never lets up. Also, it comes from the time before CGI, so it's interesting to see all the ways the studio cheaped out in art department, adding new layers of confusion to already crappy story.

So far, this is in my top 3 of "anime to laugh at in group and/or get wasted to", along with Mars of Destruction and Skelter Heaven, but it might be the most memorable in the ways its bad. Highly recommended!

So, here's how I imagine Toei decided to make this: (Warning: plot synopsis ahead)

Employee 1: "Sir, is there a need to call a reunion-"

Director: "Yes, there is! I had the best idea of my life!"

Employee 2: "And you needed to get drunk at 3 a.m. for that?"

Director: "I mean, there were other reason for that... But nonetheless! I have created our company's Magnum Opus!"

... Emp 1: "Ok sure, go ahead."

Director: "So, people are loving Dragon Ball Z right?"

Emp 2: "Uhm, yes? Why is that even a question?"

Director: "Wrong! Medics are hating it, so we're gonna make an anime for them with superpowers!"

Emp 1: "We can only afford making an OVA sir"

Director: "So be it, people will witness my genius either way"

Emp 2: "But you aren't saying what your idea was, sir"

Director: "Let's make an OVA where a doctor gets Super Saiyan powers out of nowhere and gets in a relationship with his assistant. Then, God tells him to go to the past and kill some demons, but, this makes the assistant reveal that she was actually their king! Genius, isn't it?!"

Emp 1: "... Did you find a DBZ fanfic with male Bulma as the protagonist?"

Emp 2: " Is that all of it?"

Director: "There are also goddesses that look like nuns and make all of this BS. I want this done in a week or you are all fired!"

Emp 1 and 2: "oh boy..."

To all of you 80s/90s OVA fans!! You always heard that you had to sift through some shit in order to find the glorious OVAs from 80s90s right? Well, this OVA is one of that shit that you have to put aside in your journey to explore some great wacky anime from that era.

The story is dull, animation is boring, scenes with mutilation and blood look like they were drawn and painted in MS Paint (from 90s Windows??). I had to write this review to warn the prospective explorers of 80s/90s OVA, that this is not what you seek. It is shit.

Wagwan! Alexandre desu.

It has everything an anime can have. Explosions, time travel, naked women, an unknown superpower, goblins or orcs, explosions again..

In a span of 5 minutes the main character goes from getting fooled by the smell of a dear, think it is an unknown beast, to get teleported 5000 years to the past in a psychedelic voyage, after thinking his girl got kidnapped, just to fight a horde of orcs without a reason.

I understand why people hate this movie. The story doesn't go from A to B, you don't have an idea what will happen next, and then you lose the though process on ... what happen before.. I mean, I had to go back several times to understand what did the MC get to that point. I really think the biggest problem is the lack of context and lore involved in the creation of this piece. If it had a less fighting and exploding wooden arrows and little more of history, maybe it could be considered a low average to average work by the community.

I set out on a quest to watch some of the worst-rated anime on this site to find if they're so bad they're good, a misunderstood masterpiece, so bad it's bad, or an absolute dumpster fire. For this first entry, I'm for this saga is Psychic Wars. My Brothas and Sistas in Christ this is probably one of the worst and most boring anime I have seen to date!!! For the first 4 mins I was like "This could be good.", but after the one doctor got attacked by a chest-burster face hugger vigina lookin' ass thing, It quickly derails and kills everyone aboard the ... train, and the people waiting at the train depot. Two things that I can say are positive about this shit-show is that the OST is pretty good, Not gonna lie it was spooky yet groovy and the girl the homie was with was kinda cute and had some cake lmao. The animation is average, the story sounds cool on paper but terribly executed, and there should've been tons more gore, cuz like gore. To wrap dis shit up, do not watch this, my guy, unless you want to be bored for 50 mins.