Do you have to be physically attracted to date someone?
Yes, of course.
57.3%
63
No, it matters more whats on the inside
20.0%
22
Some other response (post to explain)
22.7%
25
110 votes
| We had this thread. Yes, looks are important. They are the first thing you know of a person. If you smell, are horrible, look sick or something similar, chances to mate get lower, because you are obviously not fit to survive. As for your question, don't date her. Keep her for friend. If you are not attracted to her phisically the whole point of associating a love relationship to a friendship dies off completely. You'll only end up losing her as friend. ^This or ignore me. I'm a girl and I know nothing of the world. |
 Waratte Oemashou Sore ha Chiisana Inori |
| If you have no romantic feelings for her don't date her. Whatever the reason you don't have romantic feelings for her, if they are not there you shouldn't pretend. I think [for me] loving someone's personality comes first, and from that you are physically attracted to them, even if they are not obviously attractive to others. But everyone is different and can go ahead and look for different things in others. |
| Who wants to bang an ugly chick? Not me. Unless she is like an 80 year old millionaire. I..... could live with that. |
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| as someone said already, looks are a starting point for any type of romantic relationship. its the first thing you notice about a person and the first thing that will grab your attention. that being said, looks are not what define a relationship. personality is what keeps relationships going strong. if you dont connect with the person, your relationship will never evolve. how you connect with people and the relationships you create are based on how you connect with them. many romantic relationships stem from existing relationships, even though when you first saw each other you werent attracted to each other. you should look at your relationship and decide whether or not you have romantic feelings for this person. in your case, dont even take looks into account. look only at your feelings for her and decide if you have only platonic feelings or if maybe there is something more. |
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| Dating someone pretty is better than dating someone ugly. |
| wtf d00d, you're basically saying 'j0, i don't like this grrl romantically but should i date her anyway', what kind of queue is that wait, what do you mean by overly-attractive? what? a girl has to be overly attractive? like zooey deschanel attractive? good luck wit finding a chixxorz like that dat yo. but srsly, looks are important but so are personality, it's 50/50, i mean i wouldnt go after a grrl if she was a total bitch or like uber slutty, even if she was hot. okay, if she was really really really really really really really really hotter than hot zooey deschanel + eva green in james bond hot then idk maybe like some person said before, looks are the first impression you get of a person, so it is important. |
| In my mind, attraction to looks is the sexuality of a person. While on the other hand, attraction to personality is the romantically emotional side of a person. Few are without one or the other, a person may have sexual feelings about someone with a bad personality. But not find them suitable for sex or dating because of their personality. Without looks attraction, and a person that personality comes first, are all bisexuals. Because they are basically attracted to all but simply put personality first and a person's looks 'grows on them'. One might call this a blends of Omnisexuality and Hyposexuality. And more "warm up sexuality" where one's attraction to personality clouds, overlaps, and influences upon their sexuality to where their sexuality cannot be very separated from their emotional attractions. Aside from this kind of attraction, looks will always be important, or most people would not be homosexual or heterosexual, but bisexual. Most people have an aesthetic leaning of some sort, mine as a bisexual is androgyny. Looks attraction is not shallow at all, it is however naive to apply this to romantic attraction and think it will work out. Shallow would be a word better off for things aside from sexual interest, such as intellectual. Judging a presidential candidate based upon looks rather than ideology. That would be more shallow than caring a great deal about looks in a sexuality based relationship. I tend to separate the three, the looks I find sexually attractive, the personality I look for in a friend or romantic partner, and the intellectually respectable. Though hopefully all three could overlap in one person. I'm not a rake/slut so I care for all three. I don't just want random sex. Though someone who does just want much sex shouldn't need worry a great deal of the personalities of the partners he or she wants to have sex with. Romance is basically a friendship with sexuality involved, so both factors are very important. You may want to say "deeper than friendship", okay, how does BFF who you bond with through sexuality sound? And for a person to be of the pure intellectual value, part of personality like fun to be around don't matter. I don't need to be around Noam Chomsky to find him to be an influential individual. So basically, you don't need (much) personality for sex. You need both looks and personality for romance, assuming you're not turned-on by every single thing and "easy" so to speak. And you don't need either of those things you are judging someone by on intellectual capability. And again, while looks have their limitations, they are far from pointless or shallow. Else if looks don't matter, sexuality classification is pointless. And anyone who says looks don't matter at all is either asexual, bisexual, or lying. |
 Old avatar and sig retired for now. |
| Looks are not the most important, but they do play a part. Beauty is not universal, so what attracts one person does not attract another, and everyone has a different standard of beauty. But the key is that there is attraction between the two people. Ultimately, it is the personality and devotion people have for one another that will see a relationship through. Without this a relationship would undoubtedly fail and with this, if any other obstacles exist you can work your way past them. However that doesn't mean it will be easy. But think about it: if you date her, what is it telling her? That you're attracted to her and that you like her. But you're not that attracted to her, so that very act would be a lie. Let's think further. Let's say you do hook up, and the question of sex comes up. Except you're not that attracted to her at all and you won't want to do all that kissy cuddly lovey dovey stuff with her. How do you think this will make her feel? Sure, sex is not the most important thing, but it does matter. And if you're not attracted to her, it will reflect in the way you treat her in regards to this. Physical contact can bring people closer together, and if it will seem that you're not that interested in it she will begin to question herself and whether you truly like her. She may blame herself because she won't be pretty enough for you and it will damage her confidence. And if she confronts you about it, you will assure her you do like her, leading to more deceit. Or, on the flip side, after you hook up, you could fall in love with her so madly that her personality will make you insanely attracted to her despite her physical shortcomings. But I'd say the second scenario is not as likely. Either way, if things don't work out you'll lose a friend, which is not something I would risk. So don't do it, at least not for now. Wait a bit and see what the future has in store. Don't know how old you guys are but assuming you're both teenagers, giving her a year or so to mature may make a world of difference, if you're still single by then. |
     I am the senpai that notices you. |
| Well as everyone has said looks are somewhat important they certainly are'nt everything,but if your willing to give her a chance even though she may be avg in your eyes, you might find her looks will grow on you. Though my question to you is right now the idea of kissing her gross to you? because if your not even into her looks that much than I don't think it will work out & it would be unfair to her. |
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PrincessJustice said: Unless she is like an 80 year old millionaire. I..... could live with that. Agreeable. |
Old avatar and sig retired for now. |
| Depends on the person really, there are alot of people in relationships with people who aren't physically attractive in the slightest. |
| It doesn't think, it doesn't feel, it doesn't laugh or cry..... All it does from dusk till dawn is make the soldiers die. |
| Well it depend on the matter, if she look hot but is a total bitch I won't date her. If she's an average looking girl who do not stand out and have a nice personality I might have more chance to date her. If I think that she is ugly I won't date her in any case. I consider that people should take care of themselve a minimum, I don't mind a plain looking girl, it's not hard to be at an average level. Good clothe and a little cosmetik is enough to bring about any woman to a ok level. And then comes my preference and what I dislike but overall it's what I said. |
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| The question seems wrong to me. If you already are in a relationship then it means you already passed the stage of evaluating the looks and how important they are to you. |
| initially looks do matter. there has to be a point of initial attraction. but as for your question, if you are having doubts dating her because of her looks, you shouldnt go out with her. because as you get deeper in a relationship, things on the outside should become less relevant. if she is as close and awesome as a friend as you say she is.... why should it matter if your girlfriend is super hot or not? |
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| The problems with looks are they never last, everyone gets old, A more important question to ask your self is " Can I live with this person for the rest of my life with out ringing her god damn neck ever time she opens her mouth!?", I'd chose personal enjoyment over looks any day. What would you rather have a pretty girl who will make u miserable and only be pretty for maybe 10 or 20 years? or a some one who doesn't make you wanna paint your house with blood? But if you into short term, then just go for looks, fuck personality. |
| It doesn't think, it doesn't feel, it doesn't laugh or cry..... All it does from dusk till dawn is make the soldiers die. |
| Why do you think you need to date her? Are you retarded? I'm going to go with yes. |
edgeofeternity said: Whenever a guy thinks a girl is interested in him...Side note: From personal observations and from others knowledge I think she might have some interest romantically in me. he's wrong. |
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| Looks are important to a certain extent, yeah. You want your partner to be a good person, you know, loving, faithful, smart, etc.. But you need to be attracted to them, too. Or it's more like they're just a friend, not a lover. |
Plate said: Why do you think you need to date her? Are you retarded? I'm going to go with yes. I would normally say the person want to appeal to a society that believes in the ladder theory and loveshyness, but these people who believe strictly in such concepts also objectify women and don't challenge that looks are of utmost importance in hierarchy. |
Old avatar and sig retired for now. |
| The fact that OP actually has to get a second opinion strikes me as funny. If you're so uncertain that you have to ask other people whether you want to date someone, you probably shouldn't date them, whatever the reason. |
| Very. Anyone who says otherwise should try screwing a pig and see if they feel the same way about the whole 'It's the insides that count!' bull. When people meet, it isn't their personalities that are noticed first - it's their plus and minus points in terms of looks. If a person has too many negatives, sex is out of the question unless money changes hands. |
| i dont care about looks if a person is good from inside that's all that matters if a person is good inside and it happened to be beautiful great ^^ |
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| How can a 23 boy consider dating someone for whom he doesn't feel any attraction is beyond me. Especially considering he's got no problems with getting dates. Being fuck-buddies or, like somebody called it, making her a 'practice girl' (mutually, you'd be a 'practice boy', no exploitation please) is sensible if she's up to it, but somehow I doubt she would. |
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| i'd rather have a girl with average looks and a great personality than a girl with great looks and an average personality. though i would never suggest dating someone if your opinion of her is "why not?" |
| looks are not important in a relationship. if you really like/love the person they are, they will be beautiful to you, regardless of what they look like. |
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Aionic said: It isn't "very" for everyone since some, if not most, people have a high tolerance for a variety of physical appearances. That isn't to say that looks doesn't matter at all, whatsoever. Just that when most people say it's the personality that matters, it's probably because some, if not most, people have a lower tolerance for specific personalities instead of a high tolerance for looks.Very. Anyone who says otherwise should try screwing a pig and see if they feel the same way about the whole 'It's the insides that count!' bull. When people meet, it isn't their personalities that are noticed first - it's their plus and minus points in terms of looks. If a person has too many negatives, sex is out of the question unless money changes hands. |
| I answered another response, but I do agree that looks are important. In a sense of hygiene and physical attraction. But to categorize people as "ugly" and "pretty" are really a matter of personal preference. We've all seen those, erm, couples that just do not compute in our eyes. (Hell. Someone has to love 'em, I guess.) Not that there aren't those people that have those faces even a Mother could gag at. Sad, but my god, is it true. Cleanliness is how declare one in "looks" before actual features. But thats just me. But, damn. Date her if you want. Personality is a huge part in it, alongside looks. If you click, go. But don't if it isn't there. :\ |
MissytalkerJan 18, 2010 6:12 PM
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| Looks arent really important for me, If she's hot, but if she's incredibly stupid, or arrogant I dont want anytthing to do with her. |
| With regards to physical appearance... men actually have an advantage. If a girl is ugly, guess what? There's nothing much for her to fix that. If a guy sees an ugly girl, forget it. No chance in hell there. If a guy is ugly, it can be OK, as long as the guy knows how to make a girl feel that "certain" way. Furthermore, this male "ugliness" can be worked on and improved. |
| Click on this. I dare you. | MAL Fantasy Football League | Currently Watching List RWBY Club. RWBY is anime. Deal with it. |
Little_Sparrow said: Personalities are the most important, followed by looks. I don't want a beautiful person with a horrid personality, but nor do I want a very nice and ugly person. Preferably, both will be average, but I always tend towards personality instead of looks. I agree. |
| personality is def important, but honestly, i probably wouldn't learn enough about their personality if i didn't find their looks attractive enough. |
| I vote for what's on the inside. What's the point of being with someone gorgeous who treats you like crap? I would much rather have someone who has a good heart, and will thus treat you right. |
MidnightCheddar said: I vote for what's on the inside. What's the point of being with someone gorgeous who treats you like crap? I would much rather have someone who has a good heart, and will thus treat you right. Thats a very good point. |
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| It depends on the person. Only you can know how important looks are to YOU. If you care a lot about looks, that is fine. Don't let other people tell you that something shouldn't bother you if it genuinely bothers you. That applies to any element in a relationship, not just looks, btw. For example some people are ok with dating someone of a different religion, some are not. Neither type of person is right or wrong, it is just a matter of personal preference. If you are only attracted to nice looking people that doesn't make you shallow, it is just preference. Someone can care a lot about personality but still only be attracted to nice looking people--in other words, someone might only be attracted to people with both good looks and a good personality. These people might find it harder to find a partner because of their higher standards, but it doesn't mean they should try to change their preferences. Preferences are completely personal, they are no one's business but your own. |
| I think it'd be unfair to judge only on looks, personality matters, but looks do play a part as well... looks are what attract you to get to know someone's personality. I wouldn't have a relationship based only on personality or only on looks. Personality is the major part, though. But they don't have to be the best looking person in the world when you're in love. |
| When you think about her, do you think about what she does or how she looks when she does them? Personally, I think it's wrong to base a relationship based on how the look. Would you rather date a hot bitch or a sweet girl you connect with, but she's not the hottest thing in the world? Would you rather have someone to turn to when you need someone, or someone to turn to when you feel horny? If you feel really connected to her, go for it. If you just want to tap that ass, it's not fair to her. |
| The look is somewhat important considering that that's the first thing you notice before learning more about the person. |
| I'm not going to lie, the girl has to be somewhat good looking. I'm not saying she has to be extremely hot but I'm not attracted to anyone based on personality ALONE. That being said, personality will always matter way more. And actually, some of the hottest girls in my school are the biggest bitches and drama queens I've ever known (a real shame). |
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