ProfessionalNEET said: BannedAkko said: To me bragging is when you compare yourself to others and make yourself out to be better. Examples: - My education was better than yours. - My house is more expensive than yours. - I’ve been to more places around the world than you have. Now examples of sharing: - I went to this school and studied this subject - I bought a house and it cost this much - I’ve been on holiday to these places. Sharing can become bragging in certain contexts, with the comparison being implicit. For example, when someone says "I bought a $1 million house", the implication could be "I bought a $1 million house, unlike all you broke bitches". Alternatively, when someone says "I've been on holiday to [insert places]" around a bunch of well-traveled people, the implication could be "I've been on holiday to [insert places], so I'm just as well-travelled as you guys, please don't look down on me". I think the person who bought a $1 million house in your example is not bragging, he is merely sharing his experience and it's a fact. Objectively speaking, hearing about it won't make a single difference in his living condition so there is no reason to get upset. I think the problem is on the other person because he reacted badly to it. I agree with you that context matters, but I think it's overrated. There are too many gray areas and what about sharing in social media that everyone can access? More importantly, why can't we be ourselves? Why do we have to keep lowering our standards to accommodate others? I just find it extremely tiring. The truth is people will always try to find faults in others and it has no bound. They won't stop until we literally become hobos so they can look down on us and finally feel good about themselves. So much for being humble, kind, sensitive, and considerate. |
| "You misunderstood from the very beginning. You just believed what you wanted to believe." Rei Ayanami |
vuxk said: ProfessionalNEET said: Sharing can become bragging in certain contexts, with the comparison being implicit. For example, when someone says "I bought a $1 million house", the implication could be "I bought a $1 million house, unlike all you broke bitches". Alternatively, when someone says "I've been on holiday to [insert places]" around a bunch of well-traveled people, the implication could be "I've been on holiday to [insert places], so I'm just as well-travelled as you guys, please don't look down on me". I think the person who bought a $1 million house in your example is not bragging, he is merely sharing his experience and it's a fact. Objectively speaking, hearing about it won't make a single difference in his living condition so there is no reason to get upset. I think the problem is on the other person because he reacted badly to it. I agree with you that context matters, but I think it's overrated. There are too many gray areas and what about sharing in social media that everyone can access? More importantly, why can't we be ourselves? Why do we have to keep lowering our standards to accommodate others? I just find it extremely tiring. The truth is people will always try to find faults in others and it has no bound. They won't stop until we literally become hobos so they can look down on us and finally feel good about themselves. So much for being humble, kind, sensitive, and considerate. I 100% agree with the part where you mentioned no matter what we do, people will try to find faults with a person. They will call you arrogant, hateful, stupid and even twist anything you say to fit their agenda. |
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| When you mention your sexessful life on a forum made mostly of socially inept guys who did not talk to a girl in six months, expect that it will be seen as bragging by most people. Those mentioning their mental illnesses are not bragging as the latter are obviously negative things, and moreover, very common ones here. Those who mention buying expensive things are not especially seen as braggers as I did not notice that people were especially greedy here. On your list, basically nothing could be seen as bragging (besides voice acting, as it sounds cool to many I am sure). Being a liberal, an amateur of K-pop or ecchi anime are nothing to be proud of or to be ashamed of. Having a girlfriend may be very common, but not here so mentioning yours (or your fiancée actually) may already be seen as bragging. You could have added me to the list by the way: I always mention mathematics, so one could assume that I brag about it, but things would be very different if I were to say (without being asked about it first) anything about my personal life or my so-called "achievements." Example: "The other day, in the common room of HardFart University, M... was telling me about my last paper published in Annals of Mathematics and how he thought that the main idea could help tackle the Riemann Hypothesis..." (this example was fictional lol) It does not serve any purpose, and giving yourself the intellectual upper hand by mentioning IRL things that you did is no other that arguments by authority, something I despise a lot. Nevertheless, people can still think that I brag about my "knowledge" of this field, even if I think that I am merely sharing my interest and enthusiasm for it. But trying to change the minds of people about my motives is as easy as changing the taste of people about anime. Therefore, I think that you should stop caring about how you are viewed, you may be ChadAkko to some people, IncelAkko to some, and Akko for the rest. I would choose my friends in the last category. |
| OP leaves out a few nuances, sure. But I'm about 90% in agreement. A bunch of responses are just "well, it could be interpreted as bragging". Ok well then... don't interpret stuff negatively? That's your problem. Your negative mindset. Not everyone who is offended or takes something badly is justified. In fact, that's rarely the case. Learn to smile and take stuff in your stride. "The power of imagination is what changes everything" -Shinsekai Yori |
| “In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.” -Friedrich Nietzsche Aggregate scoring is bad for the anime fandom |
| I didn't read the whole OP so forgive me if you already mentioned what i'm about to say but imo, it obviously depends on the situation or type of conversation you're having. If you're in a middle of a conversation and you mention how much money your house costs, no matter how you look at it, that's bragging. No one asked for you to "share" info so why would you mention it to begin with? However, if it does have something to do with the conversation then i guess not. All in all, if someone asked for you to share your info like that or if it is natural to bring it up depending of the content of your conversation then it's not bragging. |
| Too long didn't read, to be honest with you.. I agree with ProfessionalNEET's post underneath yours if there was anything I could say related to the thread. If you are sharing something with the intent of looking down on others, that could be called bragging. E.g. saying that you have loads more sex than anyone else on this site would be bragging. It is your choice whether you want to seem like an asshole or not, and there's nothing wrong with that if you choose to do so. Everyone is different, and some would rather be obnoxious and flex on others. Just don't moan about getting hate if you've been bragging or implying you're better than others through "sharing" stuff about yourself... |
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| The only thing I plan to brag about is how much more time I've wasted watching Japanese cartoons than most other people I know. Naw, kidding aside I don't really mind sharing or comparing stuff but depending on the context even if you don't mean for it too something can definitely come across more like bragging then sharing. For example if I were to tell my friend, "I just bought my first house I'm so excited"! And they followed it up by telling me how excited they were when they moved out of a house like mine and into one that cost twice as much they probably didn't mean anything by it, but it could for sure come across the wrong way. |
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| I don't brag, but I actually admire bragging from other people when they love themselves. I think it's a good thing to love yourself and gloat about your achievements even, long as the intention isn't to be like "well I do this better than YOU", but more like "I do thing really great!". After all we antagonize people for feeling good about themselves but overly normalize self-hatred, general hatred and depression. I don't come to conclusions about things, but if someone is bragging in the manner from the latter "I do thing really great", it's good to acknowledge your achievements instead of letting them slide like "ez" or "o well its just X thing". It's good for our mental health to appreciate our accomplishments, so that way when we don't accomplish something we aren't setting up a feeling of disappointment on ourselves. We try and not look self-centered, but end up going the extra mile and sometimes even become self-disparaging. I think you don't gotta be either and can have a sense of nuance, but/because obviously my point is that it's not a good thing to overly hate yourself (or overly love yourself to the point of shutting out others). You should feel good about accomplishments you make and never feel bad because of it. The funny thing is that people will openly shame you for sharing your accomplishments, but never bat an eye when somebody goes "I'm awful at everything/this/that, I can't do this/that, I'll never be good at this/that". It's kinda like how people act like kindness is nothing, ignore it or react funny, but spend all of their time, energy and efforts into total horseshit. It's such a human thing to do at this point tho. "Some here mistake sharing for bragging. The more I share the more they accuse me of it" Because people can't take shit at face value. That isn't necessarily your problem but it's their reactions. You can present things at the most simple and direct value, and people will jump to conclusions that logically don't even follow the initial post, and make it about things like groups, labels, etc. It's kinda like that video by Louis Rossman, "do not accept the premise of assholes." and how it leads us into conclusions like this. (I also want to add that you shouldn't be surprised that people constantly react to you funny, weird or spiteful, @BannedAkko, because you have incredible and uncommon individualism. You're incredibly direct about the things you say and don't base most of your reactions on anybody else, and you aren't afraid of the retaliation from others from the genuine honesty of yourself. Often when we share our honest selves, our human experience, our personality and everything that we have learned with others, those others shut you down for that. So, in response, we as humans cower and base our reactions on others, but you don't do that. You don't care what other people think of you and your experiences.) |
ChartTopper60Oct 4, 2020 3:49 PM
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| Some people confuse confidence with bragging, which is your case so you're safe. It depends on people's definitions of bragging. What one person sees as bragging might not be bragging from another's perspective. If you were at a social gathering for business owners, talking about how you did $250,000 a month using this and this technique and to this and this market isn't bragging, it's an exchange of information and a discussion around a topic since everyone is likely to be talking about marketing anyway. If however, you are here on MAL, and a person is talking about how he made $250,000 last month, that's too much money for people in this site who mostly don't even have a job. That's bragging even if don't shove it directly on people's face. I have to brag though, I have a job *smiles |
''Enemies' gifts are no gifts and do no good.'' |
alvmonster said: Ryuk9428 said: So if somebody was constantly mentioning that they take a shit 6 times a day would that be bragging? Of course. How fast would your metabolism have to be to be able to shit 6 times a day every day? Obviously it could also be really unhealthy, but most likely if you're ingesting enough to constitute taking 6 full size deuces a day, you're going to be someone who's highly mobile. Otherwise you're not taking a shit, it's that tube suctioned to your bootyhole sucking it out. Or I guess you could just really like indian or mexican food, but that's also a brag since you're affording to make or buy those semi-complex dishes on the regular. Nobody thinks that saying "I take a shit 6 times a day" is bragging, youre going to deep in to the meaning of a stupid sentence and whoever says that will never think about it that much. Actually it could be bragging if you are fucking retard and you think that taking a shit that many times per day is good |
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Piogigl said: alvmonster said: Of course. How fast would your metabolism have to be to be able to shit 6 times a day every day? Obviously it could also be really unhealthy, but most likely if you're ingesting enough to constitute taking 6 full size deuces a day, you're going to be someone who's highly mobile. Otherwise you're not taking a shit, it's that tube suctioned to your bootyhole sucking it out. Or I guess you could just really like indian or mexican food, but that's also a brag since you're affording to make or buy those semi-complex dishes on the regular. Nobody thinks that saying "I take a shit 6 times a day" is bragging, youre going to deep in to the meaning of a stupid sentence and whoever says that will never think about it that much. Actually it could be bragging if you are fucking retard and you think that taking a shit that many times per day is good It's called exaggeration. Exaggeration and bragging often go hand-in-hand. Sorry if that went over your head. I know sometimes it's hard to not look deeper into something than its face value if you're not used to critical thinking. |
BannedAkko said: Lustrius said: I didn't read the whole OP so forgive me if you already mentioned what i'm about to say but imo, it obviously depends on the situation or type of conversation you're having. If you're in a middle of a conversation and you mention how much money your house costs, no matter how you look at it, that's bragging. No one asked for you to "share" info so why would you mention it to begin with? However, if it does have something to do with the conversation then i guess not. All in all, if someone asked for you to share your info like that or if it is natural to bring it up depending of the content of your conversation then it's not bragging. Nobody will ever get to know each other by that logic. I never said that talking about yourself is bragging however talking about how much your house costs as a first info about yourself you give them is bragging. If you've known that person for a while or you're at that point where you've both been talking for a while i don't see why you can't mention it. As a first means of introduction about yourself will maybe your name or gender or age etc, not how much your house costs or how rich you are. BannedAkko said: Then the discussion will not last long if people never talk about themselves. This is definitely wrong as i've had a conversation with someone about our passions for months which we never talked about how old we were, what kind of job we had, nor what gender we were. |
alvmonster said: Piogigl said: Nobody thinks that saying "I take a shit 6 times a day" is bragging, youre going to deep in to the meaning of a stupid sentence and whoever says that will never think about it that much. Actually it could be bragging if you are fucking retard and you think that taking a shit that many times per day is good It's called exaggeration. Exaggeration and bragging often go hand-in-hand. Sorry if that went over your head. I know sometimes it's hard to not look deeper into something than its face value if you're not used to critical thinking. I think its okay to go deep into most of the things, but taking a shit 6 times per day? I dont think anybody should give a second thought about that but if you want to do it go ahead :D |
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BannedAkko said: Lustrius said: I never said that talking about yourself is bragging however talking about how much your house costs as a first info about yourself you give them is bragging. If you've known that person for a while or you're at that point where you've both been talking for a while i don't see why you can't mention it. As a first means of introduction about yourself will maybe your name or gender or age etc, not how much your house costs or how rich you are. This is definitely wrong as i've had a conversation with someone about our passions for months which we never talked about how old we were, what kind of job we had, nor what gender we were. Well not everyone is goi g to have the same type of conversation. You and that person decided to never talk about yourselves for some reason. As if God said if you discuss yourself with another person I will strike you dead. I don’t get it. ? But that's besides the point. That was to prove your point wrong about how a conversation won't last long without talking about yourself. And like i said, i never said discussing with others about yourself is wrong or "god will strike you down if you will" however saying how much money your house costs as a first means of introduction is bragging and a wrong way to start a conversation with someone. Saying your house is expensive is telling the other person how rich you are, it doesn't tell you about your passion, nor the things you like, nor who you are as a person. As a list of priorities, your age, or what you like is probably a better way to start a conversation right? Like i said, as you get to know the person you're talking to better then yes, its perfectly logical to say how rich you are as at this point (I assume) you're friends and actually care about the other person and want to know more about them. BannedAkko said: As for here on MAL and speaking for myself; my account is two years old I’ve made a bunch of threads on here and have 3k posts already. People should know me a bit by now. I haven’t even mentioned how much my house costs anyway but if I did it wouldn’t be an example of throwing out info when I’ve just met you guys. I’m a forum regular and people are acting like me sharing info without it being asked for is typo much. Ironically I often share info related to the subject at hand. This is the casual discussion forum after all. This I understand, however, i was talking about meeting a person for the first time and striking a conversation with them individually, not as group of people you assume knows you pretty well; and i assume we were on the same page talking about the same situation. As for the second paragraph, i completely agree with you however, like is i said, talking to someone individually for the first time and mentioning how expensive your house is as a first means of introduction is a very bad way to start a conversation as you shouldn't automatically assume they know you pretty well and always kept up with your constant forum activity. |
PetrichoOct 5, 2020 9:58 AM
| i actually agree with you for once people are really insecure sometimes |
| Thread Locked for not adhering to Casual Discussion Rule 1. Please refrain from creating threads that do not encourage meaningful and/or civil discussion. This includes, but is not limited to: a. picture collecting, youtube video collecting b. gossiping about individuals (e.g. youtubers, channels/videos, MAL members, other sites' users, etc.) c. personal storytelling, narration, ranting, and/or blog-style posts; these topics only encourage a one-way discussion where members are commenting on the poster's idea, and should be posted using blog feature instead Although there was discussion on the topic the op created, there were far too many users gossiping about other users. This just leads to name calling and assumptions which detracted from the actual topic. In accordance with the board specific rules please remember to follow the Site Guidelines as well to further prevent violations. |
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