do you hold on to grudges for so long? if so does it affect your health badly?
| I'm Italian, there's no grudges to be had. One moment we'll be so mad that we want to slap the hell out of you; the next we'll be kissing you on the cheek and inviting you to our cousin's wedding. Nothing personal, just business. Though with that said, I have a good memory. I forgive, but I never forget. |
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| I'm a pragmatist. If I can't get even I don't hold a grudge. If it isn't intentional, I don't hold a grudge. Anything else, I'm game. Really, grudge-holding isn't so helpful now? Sure, let's say it isn't! (personal opinion). If your boss promotes someone unworthy instead of you, you won't hold a grudge? (again hypothetically) I believe instincts are there for a reason (survival). If they serve a purpose. My health is fine. Annual checkups and all. |
| I usually forgive people pretty fast and I don't really care to remember things they've done against me...I do hold grudges against certain people tho. |
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| no usually if i am mad at someone to the point of a grudge it's explosion time. then forget about it or forgive it. though this tends to be the norm with introverts. |
| "among monsters and humans, there are only two types. Those who undergo suffering and spread it to others. And those who undergo suffering and avoid giving it to others." -Alice “Beauty is no quality in things themselves: It exists merely in the mind which contemplates them; and each mind perceives a different beauty.” David Hume “Evil is created when someone gives up on someone else. It appears when everyone gives up on someone as a lost cause and removes their path to salvation. Once they are cut off from everyone else, they become evil.” -Othinus  |
| I asked for Rollerblades from my parents back in my first years of elementary school. They of course refused but few months after it was bought as a birthday present for a kid of one of their friends. Some more than ten years later I am still holding dearly onto my grudge. |
  “The most shameless thing in the world is political power that can be inherited regardless of ability or talent!” |
| Yeah, I still get furiously angry when I remember the time Xx_Dick_Slayerz69 beat me at Quake Arena in 2001. I found out where he lives...sometimes I draw out elaborate plans on how I'm going to kill him but then I just ball up the paper and throw it in the bin. My therapist says it's not a healthy way to deal with my anger but I don't pay her to tell me what to think. |
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| I don't hold grudges, or at least no one has wronged me enough that my life's motivation is for revenge. I have beef that I don't hold begrudgingly, but because there's a mix of ego and misunderstanding that makes things go unsettled. I also don't try to instigate or compare with others. But I mean I still have moments where I remembered someone being a dick to me, and other times of my wrongdoings. I try my best, whether or rage or cringe for a second, to let the idea go by. Sometimes I experience a bit of humiliation whenever someone CCs my boss about a complaint. Sometimes I talk back and strike a nerve with someone else. I learned to let things go by realizing that we're all human, and we make mistakes. And the faster we figure out that we're all just individuals who are trying to survive, the more supportive and forgiving we all can be. Do drugs kids. |
SasugaDaysJun 28, 2020 7:20 PM
| I try my best to forgive, but I definitely don't forget. |
| I can't be bothered to hold grudges for too long, like after at least a day I get over whatever someone did to make me angry, takes too much of my energy to be constantly upset about someone. |
| Meh, if I did that online, then I'd probably have a mental breakdown. I don't do it much in real life either, but I have a greater capacity for it, ironically, even though I tend to be pretty docile and inoffensive offline and pretty aggressive online. There's a couple of users that I strongly believe should be permabanned, if that counts as a grudge. If not though, then idk. I just get into a lot of fights online. When I first started using forums, definitely, I was a grudgebearing little shit, but eventually that type of conflict not only became really commonplace to me, but there's also the fact that people on this specific site are very revolving door-y over on AD - just like the topics, different people who all have the exact same shit to say - so at some point you just stop caring about usernames and individuals and more about what they're saying and what you want to argue. Their words mean more than what they present as their online identity, and when you see the same types of opinions so often, that sort of outlook can make individuals very forgettable. Risk of sounding edgy has been taken. I have a lot of people holding grudges against me on this site tho lmao. There's one guy that said something in a thread a couple of years back that I found really stupid, and so I mocked him for it. To this *day* I get leaks from his private Discord server where he shittalks me like I'm the bane of all creation or like we're arch-enemies. I talked to him once and would've never remembered him if he wasn't brought to my attention. I wish it could sound this cool but it's not lmao, stuff like that does kind of creep me out and it happens sometimes. |
ManabanJun 28, 2020 8:59 PM
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| I've had fallouts with people really close to me and have removed myself from them for a period of time, but we work things out and put it behind us. |
Discord come hang out :D |
| No because I'm Maynard James Keenan and I can scream for insanely long periods of time. |
| I CELEBRATE myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you. |
| I absolutely hold grudges against people who've hurt me and while I may forget what they done after 5-10 years, the feeling of distrust always remains from what I can tell it doesn't have any affect on my physical or mental health, though |
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| i held grudges against a few people for many years, and it ruined my late teens/early twenties. what's the saying? "holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die"? can't quite remember. there were other factors as well, but i was pretty sick during those years.. under weight, mentally unwell, bad diet, angry. quit my night-shift job(for the wrong reasons, but ultimately was for the best). i signed up for this university program where i'd get to talk about my problems with psychology students, for free. guess i just needed to vent, because those psych students never really told me anything that stuck with me, they just listened and asked questions.. but i'd consider the time spent there to have been worthwhile. uhh.. anyway, i decided some time in the past to stop all of that. no more lying, no more resentment. i've always had a lot of respect for hard-workers, or people who are family oriented.. so whenever someone makes me upset, i try and imagine them as having a rough day, and that they are in a rush to get back to their family or their pet or whatever. someone is a dick to you because you're taking too long at the ATM machine? they just had a long day at work, they're in a rush to get home and take their steel-toes off and pet their cute kitty, fluffmaster. |
| meditate on bass weight. |
deg said: Fundamental Attribution Error i never knew before that there was a phrase that described this, very interesting. and it can even have the opposite effect apparently; where people act like dicks themselves, but assume other people will see past that, and understand that they were, 'just in a rush' or, 'my mother is sick'. |
| meditate on bass weight. |
| i do hold gruges for a long time, but simply try to interact the least possible with the person, and if they try to be friendly with me i just try to be as neutral as possible and don't give them too much of my trust. it also doesn't affect me at all. |
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| It is not that I forgive or forget but I simply cease to care once I can consider that the critic I was told was worthless (main cause of grudges to me). It may take years though. However, I do not know if it can be considered as a grudge, but once I start despising someone, I can hardly go back on my judgment. Here, I am mostly thinking of people who behaved unethically at the University or at work and brag about it openly. No Longer Human. |
Luchse said: I asked for Rollerblades from my parents back in my first years of elementary school. They of course refused but few months after it was bought as a birthday present for a kid of one of their friends. Some more than ten years later I am still holding dearly onto my grudge. How heartless! Are you sure they weren't just trying to protect you from hurting yourself? |
149597871 said: Very evil! Luchse said: I asked for Rollerblades from my parents back in my first years of elementary school. They of course refused but few months after it was bought as a birthday present for a kid of one of their friends. Some more than ten years later I am still holding dearly onto my grudge. How heartless! Are you sure they weren't just trying to protect you from hurting yourself? My parents are top of the line cheapskates(pun intended) unless something is to be bought for themselves. Father more so than mother. |
“The most shameless thing in the world is political power that can be inherited regardless of ability or talent!” |
| I never forgive and I never forget, all my grudges are going to the afterlife with me hoping that I can turn into a vengeful ghost and haunt every last person who ruined my life. |
| I very much so hold grudges, I pride myself in not being a piece of shit because of a grudge though. I honestly can’t say if it does or doesn’t affect my health, there are far more prominent things in my life to determine if it’s grudges that causes my wellbeing to be decent or awful. |
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| I hold grudges till the end of time, but I am no monster and willing to forgive if the person apologizes. Come one step towards me and I will come two steps towards you. |
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| Well it depends on what they did though but for the most part I let go and forgive. |
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| Yes. Ever since that chalked up motherfucker came under my sheets as soon as I was having the best dream of my life of being dribbled by Prince at his prime. |
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operationvalkyri said: Gan_water said: Man, you beat me to it! Why hold on to a grudge if one can get high on Tool instead?No because I'm Maynard James Keenan and I can scream for insanely long periods of time. Why indeed, and Tool isn't even mad any more lol. |
| I CELEBRATE myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you. |
| Holding to your grudges is bad for health? Just ignore the person for the rest of your life.You'll be happy and ok but that person will die from anger |
| شقایق، اینجا من، خیلی غریبم |
| Well, I'm practically never angry. I forgive and never forget, but it's not on my mind at all. If it was a mistake, that is something that can attempt to be forgotten in order to help with my health. If a friend were to do something horrible to me or anyone else intentionally, I might dislike that person for a few days, but won't ever have the courage to leave them, nor want them to leave. I can't bring myself to hate someone. Memories can come back during a bad event, but those are more like flashbacks since my memory repressed them. |
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| not really but at the same time if someone does something to me ill get incredibly emotional for like ten minutes than forget it and push it away immediately, which probably affects me somewhere anyway. |
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