| Tim Schmidt, 30, claims 33-year-old Franziska Hansen wanted to kill him out of jealousy at his successful career. The lawyer alleges his ex tried to smother him with her breasts while ‘pretending it was a sex game’. Hansen has denied the charge of ‘attempted manslaughter with a weapon’. Mr Schmidt is quoted by the Daily Mail as telling the German court: ‘The incident happened in May – we were having sex. ‘She was sitting on me naked and I was kissing her breasts. Suddenly she grabbed my head and pushed between her breasts with all of her force. ‘I couldn’t breathe any more, I must have turned blue. I couldn’t tear myself free and I thought I was going to die.’ The 30-year-old said he managed to eventually free himself and fled naked to a neighbour who instructed him to ring the police. Source: http://metro.co.uk/2012/11/22/lawyers-former-lover-tried-to-kill-him-with-38dd-breasts-541032/ |
| I think it's plausable. Something unorthodox like that would surely inspire a great CSI episode, too. |
  |
Sounds kinky. |
 |
| What a weak man. |
 |
| Well, it's definitely not the WORST way to die. |
 |
| So tits are weapons now... |
| As a child, I was told that society is a melting pot of talents; knowledge and experience combined to form important alloys that will contribute to mankind. When I got to highschool, however, I thought that it's more like a river in which the water represents our peers while we ourselves are the stones in the river. Constant erosion by mindless majority sheeping has made us lose our unique edge. After I hit the age of 18, I realized that I've been wrong all along. Society is no melting pot. Society is no river. Society is a person, a very skilled rapist, and he has fucked us all. |
| Bahahaha, the irony. |
 |
Verdale said: Irony?Bahahaha, the irony. |
 |
Jrittmayer said: Well, it's definitely not the WORST way to die. Thats how I want to die. |
 |
BloodRequiem said: So tits are weapons now... That's what they have always been. |
Shuhan said: Jrittmayer said: Well, it's definitely not the WORST way to die. Thats how I want to die. It's the breast way to go. |
| As someone who can fit into that bra size, those boobs aren't big enough to smother someone. |
 |
| I know the right person that could use a concept like this in a certain Japan only video game. I loled at this though. |
 |
Jack_Rav said: Verdale said: Irony?Bahahaha, the irony. He's pressing charges because of her jealousy of his "successful career", but I can't envision him ever winning such a case, ie. "unsuccessful". |
|
| +1 argument for DFC. |
やがて気づく本当の気持ちは そして 人間が大好きでした |
| Shit if I have to die today/tomorrow I sure hope it's like this. |
| *Cringey anime weeb stuff* |
FreakyTy said: Shit if I have to die today/tomorrow I sure hope it's like this. I bet it's not as fun to actually die like this. |
| "Yes, I have been deprived of emotion. But not completely. Whoever did it, botched the job." - Geralt of Rivia |
insan3soldiern said: FreakyTy said: Shit if I have to die today/tomorrow I sure hope it's like this. I bet it's not as fun to actually die like this. Yes, it must be excruciating to not be able to finish what you started. |
|
| I want to be killed by small breasts, |
| The fuck did I just read... |
 |
Verdale said: insan3soldiern said: FreakyTy said: Shit if I have to die today/tomorrow I sure hope it's like this. I bet it's not as fun to actually die like this. Yes, it must be excruciating to not be able to finish what you started. That's true. But, just imagine if there was an after life of some kind and you are asked "how did you die" and your reply is "I got suffocated by fucking breasts!". Embarrassing. |
| "Yes, I have been deprived of emotion. But not completely. Whoever did it, botched the job." - Geralt of Rivia |
insan3soldiern said: Verdale said: insan3soldiern said: FreakyTy said: Shit if I have to die today/tomorrow I sure hope it's like this. I bet it's not as fun to actually die like this. Yes, it must be excruciating to not be able to finish what you started. That's true. But, just imagine if there was an after life of some kind and you are asked "how did you die" and your reply is "I got suffocated by fucking breasts!". Embarrassing. I wonder if you'd have permanent blue balls in the afterlife... yikes! |
|
| I'm lazy to type, so I'll just quote those that said what needed to be said... Neane1993 said: I never really saw why people like big breasts, if they are natural then they are just mounds of fat. Personally I like them small. BloodRequiem said: So tits are weapons now... TravSavage said: Shuhan said: It's the breast way to go.Jrittmayer said: Well, it's definitely not the WORST way to die. Thats how I want to die. shairn said: +1 argument for DFC. Pessoa said: I want to be killed by small breasts, xTheCatalyst said: The fuck did I just read... |
 |
| I agree it would be the way to die but breasts that big are just unnatural |
 |
| really? people these days will do anything to get money and some attention, squeeze them melons man lol |
 |
| I guess he wasn't the strongest lad around. At least he can defend himself in court. :P |
| Our space is unlimited. My download speed is not. :( |
| weaponized tits... dear god... |
| kek |
| And I'm wondering why I haven't read this gem yet. |
 |
| Least he would of died with a smile on his face...or a horrible gasping look. |
| This guy watch too many anime. |
SetsukoHara said: This guy watch too many anime. What's the name of that show? I need to know for research purposes. |
| Our space is unlimited. My download speed is not. :( |
| I guess those were some killer tits |
| Come visit my town // I apologize in advance for my second-rate English Join my fan club // Improve the transport network |
SekiraX said: SetsukoHara said: This guy watch too many anime. What's the name of that show? I need to know for research purposes. Onii-chan Dakedo Ai Sae Areba Kankeinai yo ne |
| kek |
Hata-tan said: ‘I couldn’t breathe any more, I must have turned blue. I couldn’t tear myself free and I thought I was going to die.’ Come on, who wouldn't want to see a lawyer in a situation like this at least once in a lifetime? |
 |
| 'weapon' lol'd |
 |
More topics from this board
Sticky: » The Current Events Board Will Be Closed on Friday JST ( 1 2 3 4 5 ... Last Page )Luna - Aug 2, 2021 |
272 |
by traed
»»
Aug 5, 2021 5:56 PM |
|
» Third shot of Sinovac COVID-19 vaccine offers big increase in antibody levels: study ( 1 2 )Desolated - Jul 30, 2021 |
50 |
by Desolated
»»
Aug 5, 2021 3:24 PM |
|
» Western vaccine producers engage in shameless profiteering while poorer countries are supplied mainly by China.Desolated - Aug 5, 2021 |
1 |
by Bourmegar
»»
Aug 5, 2021 3:23 PM |
|
» NLRB officer says Amazon violated US labor lawDesolated - Aug 3, 2021 |
17 |
by kitsune0
»»
Aug 5, 2021 1:41 PM |
|
» China Backs Cuba in Saying US Should Apply Sanctions To ItselfDesolated - Aug 5, 2021 |
10 |
by Desolated
»»
Aug 5, 2021 1:36 PM |