Considering I probably have a good 7-8 years on the average MAL member, in that last scary year of a woman's life before she enters her thirties, I'll focus mostly on my formative years since I think this is most interesting to people 18-21.
My mother is a brittle, juvenile diabetic. She was diagnosed at 10 years old, in the middle of a cold war between my German grandparents. While they had both come to Canada after the Second World War, hoping for a new life, I think they hadn't managed to get over their emotional trauma before starting a family. They brought up my mother and her siblings in complete dysfunction, and my mother's diabetes was another tool for them to blame each other with. Thus, her condition became something she used as a cry for attention and fostered a bitterness in her that she's had for all of my life.
In 1985, my parents married after discovering my mother was pregnant with me. At 6, my stepmother told me blithely that I "was a mistake", and while that haunted me for much of my childhood, I can say as an adult that she is probably correct. After four years of a debilitating marriage where my mother used her diabetes as a means to control my father and he was (or was not) physically abusive (the exact truth remains unclear), they finally separated. But it didn't end there. They would proceed to argue in court, first over me and then over child support, for the next 15 years. Without a child, they likely would have been able to resolve their demons and forget each other much sooner.
While the above two paragraphs are not exactly about me, they are really what has defined who I am. I grew up as my mother's caretaker, feeling that I was responsible for both her health and her happiness. I further felt like a weapon my parents used against each other, a sad reminder of the bad relationship neither could forget. My mother's family encouraged her bad behaviour and my own feelings of responsibility due to guilt over her bad childhood and relationship. She would go into hypoglycemic reactions multiple times a week, and definitely at every family event: birthdays, Christmas, random get togethers, what have you. Somehow this was normalcy and even expected.
It's difficult to describe what these episodes were like, partly because they varied. Sometimes she would go into epileptic shock, and I'd find her on the floor shaking, eyes wide and wild with fear. Other times she'd manage to walk around in her delirium, and at 6 feet tall, would become physically resistant to any kind of help. Once I found her sitting at the front entrance with the windowed screen locked, unconscious and unmoving with vomit beside her, unable to check if she was breathing until I could force my way in. The sounds of ambulances when I was near home used to make me sick with fear. Every day I came home from school wondering if I'd find she'd died from her tongue rolling back while unconscious, or falling and hitting her head. Every morning I woke up wondering the same.
When I entered high school, I became painfully aware of two things: One, my mother didn't need to be this way; she was doing it to herself and forcing me to play along with her. Two, if I did find her dead as I feared, I would never forgive myself. My father had been flitting in and out of my life, causing more emotional drama for me with his new wife than good, so I found no solace there. Thus, I began plotting to leave at 14.
My initial desire was to be a child psychologist, much because I wanted to be able to help treat children with traumatic experiences like my own. I soon realised, however, that it was simply not possible for me with my empathetic nature and my own scars. Because I wore so many masks to hide my hurt and fears from everyone, writing was the only outlet I had to deal with what was happening to me. I wrote cathartic stories about fictional characters and devoured books like a starving child.
As a result, English was my best subject in school (alongside Mathematics, which I'd had a natural knack for all my life). While my English teachers thought I had a gift with writing and I easily received full marks in the provincial exams, I feared pursuing a career that had low "job guarantee" at the end. My ultimate goal was to have my own family, a place where I could belong and the ability to give my children what I never had, but I wanted to be able to support that family financially if I needed to. I didn't want to repeat my parents mistakes.
At 17, I moved out on my own and began my Bachelors in Engineering. A year later, my mother and her family cut all ties with me and began denying my existence. My mother destroyed my baby book, cut up pictures of me, and sent them to me in a last vindictive act. This was likely the best thing that ever happened to me. While it took me years to stop grieving the sudden loss of my family and feeling like I was to blame, I was finally able to lift the responsibility for my mother's life off of my shoulders.
Although I felt for much of my childhood that I was already part old woman, I can remember the exact moment when I really felt I was actually an adult. On my 21st birthday, my stepmother interrupted my birthday party with friends, claiming my father had struck my baby sister. After breaking up the gathering and driving my stepmother and half-siblings to my place for the night, I discovered he had actually only spanked her; the two were merely fighting and my stepmother had blown it out of proportion. I drove them back the next day, after running errands for her, agreeing that we would meet the next weekend for my family birthday party.
But they never showed up. They decided it didn't fit in their schedule and my grandma was to blame. I felt so used, so tired of trying to make a family work with my father because I had lost my mother's. And my grandma told me, "You know, you're an adult now. You have the choice to decide who is in your life and who isn't; who hurts you and who doesn't. As a child, you were forced to follow the whims of your parents, but you no longer have to. You have the ability to control your own happiness now."
Eight years later, I'm living and working in Europe, doing my PhD with the aim of improving healthcare technology. Both of my parents are currently denying my existence, both over (lack of) money. I'm content to let them. My mother was diagnosed with brain cancer last year and I was finally able to resolve some final ghosts while we waited to hear if it was terminal or not. I'm coming to another turning point in my life as I finish my PhD and decide which country I will live in next, which is giving me quite a bit of stress. But I've learned that life usually works out in the end.
When people hear about my childhood, the first thing they often say is "you're a strong woman". I don't think I'm particularly strong; in fact, with my empathetic nature, I often find myself quite weak. But I am most certainly resilient, as I think my time on MAL has also indicated. Somehow, I always manage to bounce back. I'm often easily discouraged, but I rarely give up. And I try to find happiness from simple things in life – like watching puff clouds as the sun shines brightly or skipping over cracks in the sidewalk.
It also stands to be said that I didn't overcome all of my challenges entirely on my own. Many people have touched my life in a positive way, giving me encouragement and support when I needed it. For me, life must have meaning. If there are a few people who can remember me, in the same way that I remember those who have touched my life, then I would be very happy.
Give us a brief history of your time on MAL.
I joined MAL in the summer of 2007 during an internship in Europe. With some extra time on my hands, no access to an English library and a waning interest in North American television, I found myself back into anime/manga. After digesting a number of shows on Crunchyroll (back when it was still illegal), I went looking for recommendations and stumbled upon MAL.
No one I knew shared my interest in anime/manga and the con I had tried to attend in high school had primarily weirded me out. Thus, finding MAL was like discovering a pen pal with whom I could share my otherwise isolated hobby – along with hearing stories from people ranging from all ages and backgrounds, from all over the world.
I quickly became involved in some of the old creative MAL contests, including the Icontests and Art Jams (which are sadly both now dead). In October 2008, I was accepted as a Manga moderator after an open application process – much to my own surprise since I knew barely anything about manga at all. This is part of the reason why I'm probably one of the biggest advocates for open applications on the staff. Joining the mod team also got me involved in other MAL projects, such as MAL Rewrite and the old rendition of FAL, prior to Luna's reboot.
How did you become an admin?
Most of the DB admins were not really active by the time I joined the team, and the last man standing moved abroad shortly thereafter. Manga merges were getting backlogged and it was clear that we needed someone new.
At about the same time, some of the newer DB mods were growing frustrated with all the inconsistencies in how entries were being handled. We came to the conclusion that a set of guidelines for the databases, much like the forum had at the time, would be useful to make sure all moderators were on the same page. I wrote the first draft of the Manga DB Guidelines whilst propped on my couch after foot surgery, heavily doused in Tylenol 3s. shinkeikaku and I then revised them, and I proceeded to needle freedoleen and kuroshiroi until we had a working set of guidelines for all of the databases.
While I don't know exactly why I was nominated to Xinil as the best candidate for the next DB admin, I'm pretty sure my involvement in the guidelines had a lot to do with it. The admin position at that time was largely merging entries and resetting lost passwords – nothing close to what I do now. So being part of the driving force behind the guidelines probably solidified me as a good candidate to manage the databases, and I was thus promoted to admin in Autumn 2009.
What’s your daily life on MAL like as admin?
My day begins and ends with IRC. When I first wake up in the morning, I read through any PMs I was left and any discussions that occurred in the staff channels, to see if anything important happened while I was sleeping. After commenting on anything that needs to handled immediately, I'll usually get ready for my day and come back with my first cup of coffee to check on any notes from the devs, my panel and read through any PMs/profile comments I may have gotten.
During the day, I keep an active eye on IRC and any email notifications about PMs. I'm often giving advice on how something should handled, assigning certain mods to specific tasks, filling in if someone needs help and there is no one else around, and listening to concerns/thoughts/ideas of staff members and users. Sometimes this means I'm helping to determine newsworthiness of an article or editing grammar for the News Mods. Other times I'm giving advice on how a thread/review should be handled or a user dealt with for the Forum/Review mods. Or I'm helping to sort out the nitty gritty details of a troublesome DB case. And then other times I'm just watching as the staff handle it all effortlessly on their own.
Simply, I do a lot of watching, listening and talking while I go about the things I need to do. This helps me get an idea for how all the teams are doing, how individual staff members are doing, and judge current and future problems. In the evening is then when I'll have time to work on my own MAL projects – things like hiring staff, community events, discussing things with Xinil, guidelines changes, writing longer forum posts, dealing with more extensive PMs/problems that would take too much time at work, etc… The list really goes on and varies day to day.
With MAL's new development team – and consistent development happening – this has also added a new factor to my workload: communicating bugs and features. Many site changes are pushed in my morning, so I keep an eye out for new problems and discuss some of the changes prior them being pushed.
When the staff channels are slow and there's not much that needs my active attention, I'm usually reading through the Support/Suggestions board and trying to make a few posts there. Sadly, with the deadline for my PhD thesis rapidly approaching and my stress/workload peaking, the amount I can post there while still managing the rest of the site is waning. Please bear with me for the next two months as I juggle it all…
How do you think the MAL community sees you? How do you feel about that?
The MAL community primarily sees me as simply an admin. This could be coupled with how they may have judged my character based on a few mod posts (for better or worse) and/or any possible preconceptions they may have with internet moderating staff attached therein (some people just really respect/hate mods). I think very few people know me as a person: the effort I put into things, what motivates me, why I'm driven to still admin MAL after all these years, and just who I am as a human being.
I don't really feel positively or negatively about that, as it's part and parcel of being a single person versus an entire community. The majority of the community has no reason to know me personally and likely does not particularly care to.
What’s the best and worst of holding your position?
When I first applied to the staff, I wanted both to get more involved and to give back, since I'd grown quite fond of MAL. Being able to contribute to the databases, and learning more about manga and site itself, was big plus. The more experience I gained, the more I could influence positive change on the site, and that's ultimately one of the best things of my position. While I have very little understanding of how other sites operate, I know MAL inside and out. People rely on me for that knowledge and I have the ability to put it to good use.
My skillset now includes a license in sleuthing out info in a language I don't understand, and a degree in reading google translate. I wonder if I can put this on my CV…
Being in my position, I have the opportunity to come into contact with great people who also want to contribute positively to MAL. I don't just mean staff members with this statement, but users as well. This is very encouraging and is one of the things which motivates me. A byproduct of meeting so many different types of users, and of managing a team of about 50 volunteers, is that I've mellowed out quite a bit as a person. I have more patience when dealing with others, more consideration, and a better understanding. Hopefully these skills will be of some use to me later in life.
In contrast, the worst of my position is likely the conflict that people bring. Many staff members and I spent years maintaining the site with virtually no changes in code and poor moderator tools. Reading how users would blame "the mods" and "staff" for the lack of progress, as if we had any control over it and weren't pulling our hair out over it already, was incredibly frustrating. Many times I have had to swallow my own complaints and do my best to encourage others to keep going, keep trying, while also struggling with it myself.
The number of users who cannot discuss their complaints about the site without being verbally aggressive, attacking the staff, and/or bemoaning how everything is terrible, is also a big downside. It's very tiring for me to read posts like this. I don't expect appreciation when most users can't see most of what I do, but some benefit of doubt is nice. I'd also appreciate it if certain users could go into conversations trying to find a positive solution to issues, rather than simply wailing at the staff/users, and then ending their post with the infamous "nothing will change/get done anyway". Reading posts like this is incredibly demoralizing, even if they aren't the opinions of the majority.
Finally, I very often feel the weight of my own words. Some people read my mod posts and seem to have the idea that I "talk like a robot" because I'm worried about what people think of me. As I said before, most people don't know anything about me so this doesn't really matter. My posts are often devoid of emotion and carefully thought out because there are so many misconceptions in regards to the staff and how things are run, that I don't want to unintentionally add more. For this reason, I often re-read my post from multiple angles in hopes to limit the possible misunderstandings or negative reactions. My mod posts are also not always my own opinion. I have a job to see that the best solutions are found for problems and that things move in the direction that is best for the community. Thus, sometimes I feel that posting as myself is a luxury – one that I don't always have.
Any users you like? Why?
In the last eight years on MAL, I've come into contact with many people and made many friendships of different degrees. I receive a lot of support and encouragement from so many, and I am so very grateful for that. Sadly, due to the nature of MAL and the internet, friendships tend to be more dynamic and less resilient to time. To narrow things down, I'll speak briefly about a few people who have seen me completely unguarded in my weakest moments (or what I like to dub as my ugly self), and have been the closest to me in the last 1.5 years:
Luna and I are like two peas in a pod, which won't be a surprise to anyone. Our ages are very close, as are our professional pursuits, our love of MAL, and the sheer effort we put into it. Oh, and don't forget a love of kitties. When I think of how similar we are, it's not really a surprise that we're close. And then Josh made that MALentine Story… While a lot of people appreciate her hard work on the forum, it seems to me that many are also a bit intimidated by her as well. She's really friendly and warm, just a bit like a cat in that she needs to warm up to you some first. Don't give up!
Daconator is a very unique individual and our friendship has been a very interesting one. While in many ways we are very opposite in our approaches to things and don't always see eye-to-eye, somehow we just understand each other underneath all of those differences. He listens with unbridled attentiveness and says things how he sees them, which can come across as both harsh and refreshing. But he always has the full intention of helping with what he's saying and often makes me think about things in ways I wouldn't otherwise. I like to see his brain tick. In complete contrast, he has a playful, almost boyish side that makes me laugh, and I don't think another person in my life will ever again address me genuinely as "milady".
Niyawa loves milk, and since his nick is quite close to "Nya", somehow he was quickly dubbed "Kina's cat" after becoming a forum mod. While we're a decade apart in age, he is another person where we just seemed to understand each other very quickly and easily. We haven't spoken in a while because he has many things to deal with in real life, but I don't doubt I'll hear from him again soon.
Hidden_Joker and I also didn't really know much about each other until just before I gave him mod powers. Another friendship that manages to surpass a decade in age, Joker and I are very alike in how we approach people and how certain situations make us feel. I think this allows us to understand each other well and has made for an easy friendship. Since we both have enormous amounts on our plates now, we sadly mostly talk in gifs these days as part of the Kitty Therapy club.
MellowJello I'd like people to refrain from thinking or saying that the only reason I made Mellow a moderator is because I listed him in an interview as my friend. I made him a mod for logical reasons based on his personality and relationship with the community, which were backed up by the rest of the forum moderator team. On a personal level, it was very easy for me to open up to Mellow because he has such a genuine interest in knowing about other people. He also doesn't hold back what he thinks, but often delivers it in a playful way that just has to make you laugh. Mellow and Joker helped me get through a particularly rough time last year when problems on the site and in my personal life left me feeling very weak. Although we don't talk much now due to evil timezone schedules and my looming PhD thesis, I hope it won't stay that way forever.
These individuals aside, the staff as a whole is very important to me. Living abroad and eight timezones from the people who are important to me in Canada, the staff are really my home away from home. We work together, chat about the site and life, and encourage each other with our goals. Ghost, cyruz, Tachii, KentaTC, and NTAD listen to my mini-rants and check up on how I'm doing with things. Leknaat, Loxaris, Naru, and svaax always have something positive to say to me. Miked, opernlied, svaax, Snowical, and I spend quite a bit of time in MAL's (mostly empty) plug.dj channel, and the company while I'm up late is soothing. Many others are available on IRC for a quick chat, contribute to the positive atmosphere, and are very hard workers that MAL simply couldn't do without.
I've listed primarily (ex-)staff members, since these people are often who see the most of me and get to know me the best. However, there is a final person whom I will mention. Webby-sama and I first met when a lot of drama was happening with Chang 1.5 years ago. Close in age to me, I think we can both identify with what it's like to be on MAL (and the internet) whilst 5+ years above the majority. His witty and engaging dialogue has always interested me and made me laugh, though somehow we always end up discussing cooking/food…
Any users you dislike? Why?
I try to dislike behaviours instead of people, partly because this has helped me accept that I can love much of my family while disliking how they act. You'll also find that almost everyone has a good side if you are able to spend some time with them one-on-one. Saying that, there are still a number of people I'd like to interact with as little as possible because I don't want to deal with behaviours I dislike. As candid as I've tried to be here, I will refrain from saying whom.
From "the worst of my position", I think I gave a good idea of what can grate on my nerves. In general, overly aggressive and demeaning behaviour puts me off. Some users can get very antagonistic over the tiniest of database details, and sometimes I just feel my energy draining away when I read what they write. I dislike it when users belittle others and show complete disregard for the opinions and feelings of whom they're speaking to. It annoys me when users would rather prefer to blame the staff and fellow users for the problems they see, rather than stepping up and trying to improve their own interactions with others first.
In overall, I dislike entitlement and when people think that they deserve something simply for being, rather than for any efforts on their part. It troubles me how some people can live doubting others and always expecting the worst. Sloppiness in work, especially for something that is important to me, tries my patience. And I dislike it when people continue to do the same job sloppily, without obvious signs of improvement or awareness.
Do you see yourself leaving MAL in the near future? Why?
Everybody leaves someday. And even though I've outlasted an amazing number of people, that's also part of why I can't stay forever. If we're realistic for a minute, I'm 29 years old and I'd really like to have a family. With a husband, a career, a couple of kids (and hopefully a cat), there's not much time for MAL in there. Obviously these things aren't going to fall from the sky tomorrow, but at some point – likely soon – my life will need to move on.
Unless I become one of those crazy scanlator ladies who are still scanlating manga with infant children… I'm not sure I can foresee this though.
What were some episodes with users you will never forget?
There was a troubled user who was quite aggressive on the forum a while ago (keeping in mind I've been here for 8 years, you're unlikely to guess who). He had a psychological impairment which limited his interactions with others, perhaps worse than what I first understood. While I had no illusions or desire in helping him on a personal level, I spent quite some time trying to improve his relationship with the other mods so that he would have an easier time on the site. However, I made the mistake of letting him get too close to me and of tolerating his abusive behaviour towards me. And so a dependent attachment was formed, despite me straightforwardly saying that I didn't have the time or energy for another person to rely on me emotionally. When I realised that things were only getting worse, not better, I ceased contact with this person - which incurred very colourful, verbal whiplash. The whole experience hurt me rather deeply, as I suspect it did for him as well. While this is not a good memory, it was (another) reminder to me that I'm susceptible to allowing (or even indirectly encouraging) people to become emotionally dependent on me, and I need to take control to prevent these things from happening.
In 2010, during one of my rallies for change, I compiled an exhaustive list of all bugs and many missing features on the site, along with priority levels. If anyone has seen me talk about "the list", I'm speaking of the foundation of it here. When I decided to compile it, I asked for the help of a few knowledgeable, hardworking people from each team: Asako, freedoleen, kuroshiroi, and shinkeikaku. What started off as a little channel to discuss the development of MAL, quickly turned into friendship. I have a lot of good memories from that irc chan, and sadly watched them leave MAL one by one. With the new development team, I find myself thinking about those times often as bugs and features are discussed, and it makes me feel nostalgic. Even though I'm now the last man standing, I'm not sure I'd still be on MAL without them.
Additionally, there are many little anecdotes that I will never forget, and it'd be impossible to list them all. Like how one crazy evening with the staff went from pineapple schnitzel to the immortalisation of KiWaMeFa, or Kineta's WaterMelon Farm. (My love of watermelons is near that of cats, but who puts pineapple and cheese on schnitzel?) Or how Mellow and Joker laughed at me and tried to gently ship me off to bed when I came home tipsy from a conference last May. Years ago, everyone used to tease me that I had a whip to drive the other staff members and Xinil to work harder (sadly, now they tease me how I work too hard and never get enough sleep… something went backwards here). Later, kuro dubbed me, "Allison: Medically Certified Evil Master Klutz of the Universe!" after I dropped a plaster mould of my foot, onto my foot, and broke my toe… At one point, I was intent on building a forum mod zoo, already having the llama (ThangLong) and koala (koleare); regrettably, they escaped… Someone once had the good intentions of trying to create a fanclub for me from an existing club, which was amusing as it already contained katsu (my #1 fan?). I quickly discouraged the idea of a fanclub though since it made me feel enormously awkward (but feel free to join Luna's and Suzune's!). I could go on, but I figure most of this isn't very interesting…
To end on the same serious note I began, I do not easily forget kindness that has been shown to me, and I've been lucky to have much of that given to me during my time on MAL. I'll never forget what certain people have taught me about myself, the affection they have shown me, and how they have helped me to become a better person. These memories, though, I would like to cherish on my own.
What have been your favourite MAL events? Why?
If you mean MAL's community events that the staff have put on, it's difficult to pick a favourite. MAL events take some brainstorming, organisation and implementation - but are also incredibly fun to plot and execute. The more people who participate, the higher the success of the event, and the more satisfying it feels. On the other hand, it also usually means that more work is involved as well. At the end, there's often a feeling of, "Whew, it's over!… I hope they liked it……"
Secret Santa is a lot of fun because it's festive and it's really nice to get a chance to work with some community members (in terms of Elves) to put it on. The amount of work, however, is a bit of a nightmare in the days right before Christmas. I really enjoyed the concept for MALoween as well, and had a lot of fun writing mini stories for some of the threads. Sadly, it wasn't as popular as we had hoped. The very recent April Fools prank (MyKittyList) was also a highlight for me, since we actually got to involve the community in our joke. This resulted in the uploading and defaulting of hundreds of DB pictures in a 24 hour timespan though, so again I can't say it was without effort.
The very best for me personally may have been 2014's MALentine's though. Luna and I put that event on primarily alone, and there were so many amusing submissions. I really enjoyed Pantsman's [img] story, Joker's spin on CD vs. Chang, and many others, including stories made by: Heredity, Mellow, Josh, Zelot, Asap… Ghost also made a fun submission about a spa trip based on an IRC convo which I hosted on my profile for a while. And then emeraldrosary's joke about me tallying the votes on an abacus made me burst out laughing at work. All in all, it was a very fun event, with great turnout and low stress.
Is there a MAL member you would want to take on a date or get to know better? Who and why?
I'm assuming this question is meant in a romantic context, but I'll twist it into a friendly answer. There are a number of users with whom I've only crossed paths occasionally, but whom I would be interested in getting to know better. The top of that list would currently be:
Josh a fellow Canadian with a quick wit, I get the impression he's a good-natured person. I think it'd be interesting hearing his thoughts on some subjects (much of which CD may know, but I don't spend much time there) and I get the feeling he has a fun sense of humour.
tingy we spoke a bit during the chaos of Secret Santa when she volunteered as an elf, and my impression was of a nice, hardworking person. I often enjoy seeing her avatar/sig pop up on the forum because her posts are always well thought. She also shares my love for Uchoten Kazoku and Immortal Rain <3 In some ways, tingy reminds me of Loxaris (you two may be good friends, if given the chance).
eL_marco he is an enormously hardworker on the manga database and the day he became a manga mod was a boon for MAL. Also quite skilled in graphics, he doesn't hesitate to give a logical opinion or helping hand on important matters, and he brings a lot to the team. That being said, in over three years, I don't think I've ever had a conversation with him about anything other than MAL. In some ways that I can't really put my finger on though, he reminds me of kuro.
Do you have any special message for the community?
I've been alluding to this throughout this interview, but my PhD thesis is due in 2 months. I've had a number of setbacks with my experiments (c'est la vie de PhD) and the next 2 months will be grueling for me. Writing up at the end of your PhD can be soul-destroying, and while I have a great supervisor, my stress is still very high.
For this reason, I will be slipping into primarily an on-hiatus position and dealing with as little on MAL as possible. It's very difficult for me to have nothing to do with the site development, when we finally are getting changes after so many years, so I will still be putting a small large amount of time into that end. But you very well may see next to nothing from me for a bit. I don't think it's the time for my final MAL departure just yet though, so please bear with me for the time-being.
I'd really like to improve staff-user relations and this has been my goal for over the last year now. But the staff and I can't do this alone; it needs to be an effort from both sides. This involves some people learning to express their disagreement on matters without implying that the world is ending, the mods have no idea what they're doing, or the staff are terrible. Coming into a topic with a high temper or aggressive attitude doesn't help us work out solutions. I know the mods can often seem quite distant from the community, but we're working on changing that. Once I get back from the manuscript of doom…
In the meantime, for better or for worse, hopefully you now have a bit better of an idea of just who this elusive, kitty-loving, Kineta woman is!
P.S. Holy mowzers, I wrote a bloody novel. For once, I forgive you if you don't read my text-wall.
Editor notes:
*This interview was conducted over a one month period, and thus, some dates given will not be timely. The original information has been left per request of the interviewee.
*The interview has been organized with spoiler tags to smoothen reading and scrolling.
Quite the long read, but it was well worth it. This might as well be the best interview thus far, standing next to Zerg's.
The past talk segment particularly saddened me. I never would've thought Kineta had such a tough life. Really, much respect.
Liked how she approached the questions/issues with sincerity and a bits of humor too, at times. Very much expected from someone like her, but still pleasing to read. This part made me laugh a quite bit:
My skillset now includes a license in sleuthing out info in a language I don't understand, and a degree in reading google translate. I wonder if I can put this on my CV…
Anyways, good luck with your PhD, Kineta. Also, make sure to catch up with "Okobore Hime to Entaku no Kishi" in your free time.
This was really extensive. (~6000 words!) I agree that it was worth the time, though.
I wasn't expecting a past like that. Somehow, knowing about it helps me appreciate Kineta more, I think. It's not pity or even awe... just appreciation/respect.
I don't know if I can pose an additional question, but if I can: What is your PhD in?
Edit: Also, I propose we turn this into a kitten gif thread.
In tribute to all the people Kineta needs to deal with...
I read it all, and wow, props for going so in-depth with both real life and life on MAL. There really is a history to this site, and seeing it grow, evolve, and change over time is an experience I wish I could have saw, but at least for now, I'm glad to see bit of it through this interview.
I've filed that away under the MellowJello Arc of MAL history, because that fanclub was very much a part of an ongoing trend in those days. It probably started with QueenJenny's fanclub, which prompted Mellow's fanclub, and so on.
My subjective reviews: katsureview.wordpress.com THE CHAT CLUB.
Didn't even notice I read the whole thing until I was on the last sentence lol. Sad you went through such a tough childhood, but glad you were able to overcome it.
Good luck on that thesis btw! Here's some kittens for motivation
I try to dislike behaviours instead of people, partly because this has helped me accept that I can love much of my family while disliking how they act.
That's a really nice thing to take away from this interview.
I try to dislike behaviours instead of people, partly because this has helped me accept that I can love much of my family while disliking how they act.
That's a really nice thing to take away from this interview.
ye in other words
hate the sin not the sinner
dont hate the player but hate the game
but for me its easier said than done, but to those that can effortless do this or just can do it more often have all my respect and awe
Daconator said: If we're realistic for a minute, I'm 29 years old and I'd really like to have a family. With a husband, a career, a couple of kids (and hopefully a cat), there's not much time for MAL in there. Obviously these things aren't going to fall from the sky tomorrow, but at some point – likely soon – my life will need to move on.
I assume this nice plan didn't quite work out. For she's almost a decade older now and still here, so maybe she really turned into something like this:
Daconator said: Unless I become one of those crazy scanlator ladies who are still scanlating manga with infant children…
I've been very curious about who Kineta is for a while, and after reading this I understand why she's also so amazing at what she does here! I'm not so active in chatting with others on this site but I do like Kineta's consistent presence in updating us with forum posts and announcing new events. I wonder if she gets paid to do all the work she does? Because she 10000% deserves it, MAL wouldn't be the same without her.
Kineta, all I can say is that this is beautiful. I loved that you let loose and told us your life, and telling us what person you are. First, I feel really bad that you couldn't have a good relationship with your family and I'm happy that you're better off now. I'm happy that you're not letting that get to you now. I think that your story can be something that others can see as inspiring. Your story has inspired me to not let others define my character and that I should write my own story. I know that I’m writing this message 6 years later, but I really love this interview.
Your MAL history is amazing and shows how much you care about the community and how much of an anime and manga fan you are! I respect you and the community that you helped build with all the MAL mods and admins. I hope to be like you on MAL one day. I believe that you are the reason that MAL is the way it is today. Your countless years of building and helping the community really show in this. I would like to thank you for this. Your story has really given me a better sense of self. As a 19-year-old, I have a long way to go, places to see, people to meet and friends to make!
You really did something. Instead of sitting back and just moderating, you did more than that. You drafted the new rules & guidelines of the community after foot surgery. That is true determination for me. Your promotion to admin in 2009 was deserved! If that was me after foot surgery I would've been knocked out trying to sleep after such a long day, but you worked through it for MAL, I think there were way more reasons for your promotion to admin than just your part in making the rules and guidelines.
You work so hard on MAL, your daily life on here is really amazing! I can't believe all the hardships you went through during this time. You really kept your head up and went through it, and I thank you for that, Kineta. Doing all this and working on your PhD is amazing. People can really learn from you, Kineta. Your huge workload is really crazy. I understand an admin has a lot of duties, but you went through it. You really are a valuable part of the MAL community. I know I say this a lot, but it really is true.
From the start I knew you weren't just a normal administrator, your constant determination really shows and I can see that. I wanted to get to know more about you because I think you are a nice & hardworking person in the community and you deserved to be recognized for that. I'm happy to get to know you better, this interview really opened my eyes, thanks, Kineta 😁. Admins are people to and I think it is important for people to recognize that, I hope when others see this interview they think that you are a human being too and should be treated like one.
If there was a MAL hall of fame, I believe they should put your name on top after the founder of the community. I love how you think out your responses toward others and make you an even better Admin of the MAL community. You look for solutions for everyone, interact with the community, and listen to everyone. These traits make you an even better admin, you really deserve Lead Administrator.
You don't dislike people which I admire about you. Everything about this is true and people don't see the human in others when they make demeaning comments, or blame others for mistakes. I sympathize with you on this. People need to be nicer and be more aware of what they say to others online. Kineta, you look out for people, which is another thing I admire about you. If I were you, I would've been tired and fed up with everyone, but you don't have a bad mood at all if you're having a bad day. Thank you for your patience. Being an Admin requires a lot of patience, which you have.
I understand if you need to leave one day, we all leave something one day, like you said. Still, even after you resign, I will be cheering you on, on having a family of your own and a family cat. I wish you luck on all your future endeavors!
Everyone's mental health matters, admins and staff are no exception. Everyone needs to take breaks or just stop it, if it gets that bad. I hope whoever you had a bad time with has a better life now, people can change for the better or worse. I hope that they can grow from this experience and have a better life.
I love the events here at MAL, even though it is my first MAL, I have seen other events and think they really bring the community together, whoever comes up with these ideas is really looking out for the community and wants all users on MAL to experience a great one while they're on the forums. I really like the Secret Santa event, even though I wasn't there I saw people having fun and wanting to volunteer for elfs, this Secret Santa idea was really amazing because you didn't only give the gift of recommendations, you also gave the gift of thoughtfulness which I think is great. Again, thank you to whoever came up with this idea.
In the end, I admire your love for this community and it shows how much thought and time you put into MAL. Everything from events, your personal life, your journey on MAL, and the friendships you made with different users have really made a difference. Your presence on MAL has turned it into a lively community. Without you, I believe MAL would be a deserted place compared to what it is with you here. You are a vital part of MAL, and I'm happy that I could write this about you because you deserve it.
Thank you,
ScaryOwl
"When clouds appear, wise men put on their cloaks;
When great leaves fall, the winter is at hand;
When the sun sets, who doth not look for night?
Untimely storms make men expect a dearth."
