| this is gonna be a stupid thread but what's another wave in the sea of really stupid advice threads on cd basically guy on okcupid messaged me a long thing and asked me on a date at the end of it pros of going: - that message took guts and i appreciate that - seemed nice cons of going: - i have a gf and while we're not strictly monogamous i don't really feel like dating other people - this is gonna sound mean but i'm way out of his league/don't find him attractive at all - my idea of this date would be chilling and talking, but i'm afraid he's gonna want sex or some long term relationship thing and that's a no so basically there are more cons but i just feel bad telling him to gtfo since he typed all that up and i think it's cool when people are straight up about things like that. should i agree to the date but tell him that nothing's gonna happen (except like maaaaaybe making out if he's a really fascinating person) or should i just fade back into inactivity like i usually do? |
deadoptimist said: Though I think shit-flinging should also have standards - no personal, no behind the scenes. |
shotz_ said: my heart's telling me yes, my gut's telling me no thojust do what ur heart tells u. thats what i do. |
deadoptimist said: Though I think shit-flinging should also have standards - no personal, no behind the scenes. |
| I can't word this nicely so I won't. Tell him that you're an idiot who doesn't feel like dating right now but forgot to either close your account for the time being or didn't put in your bio or info section that you are not looking for someone right now. It is your own fault you know so if he curses you out, you deserve it. |
kawaiiyuris said: this is gonna be a stupid thread but what's another wave in the sea of really stupid advice threads on cd basically guy on okcupid messaged me a long thing and asked me on a date at the end of it pros of going: - that message took guts and i appreciate that - seemed nice cons of going: - i have a gf and while we're not strictly monogamous i don't really feel like dating other people - this is gonna sound mean but i'm way out of his league/don't find him attractive at all - my idea of this date would be chilling and talking, but i'm afraid he's gonna want sex or some long term relationship thing and that's a no so basically there are more cons but i just feel bad telling him to gtfo since he typed all that up and i think it's cool when people are straight up about things like that. should i agree to the date but tell him that nothing's gonna happen (except like maaaaaybe making out if he's a really fascinating person) or should i just fade back into inactivity like i usually do? you never have any obligation to date anyone, but yeah i feel you. maybe agree to it but make it a casual place so he won't try and treat you to anything too expensive? (also you're way out of his league = there's better boys out there who're just as willing to make an effort) |
Hachiko75 said: nah that's fair enough. as i said, i like when people are straight with me.I can't word this nicely so I won't. Tell him that you're an idiot who doesn't feel like dating right now but forgot to either close your account for the time being or didn't put in your bio or info section that you are not looking for someone right now. It is your own fault you know so if he curses you out, you deserve it. the thing is, i am constantly looking for someone for new friends or something casual, i just wouldn't ever consider him normally sutori said: also true. i guess i'll just tell him it can only be a friendly date kinda thing, but i'll sleep on this first i'm tired af r/n(also you're way out of his league = there's better boys out there who're just as willing to make an effort) |
deadoptimist said: Though I think shit-flinging should also have standards - no personal, no behind the scenes. |
| So you're only looking for a platonic relationship? I also can't tell what gender you are. Maybe you're bisexual IDK. Just let him known before hand so you don't lead him on. If he agrees to go out with you anyways than great, you have nothing to worry about. If not than you're better off not meeting. |
| If he sounds like he's seriously interested I'd say don't go as you're getting his hopes up for naught. You could compliment him on being so straight forward if you deny him however and also repay him for being straight with you by being straight with him. |
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RedTie said: I'd say you should lay down the line from the get go. "We can go somewhere but just as friends/for fun." yup, I agree. be direct and honest. |
| The fact that you're considering dating someone on the internet is bad enough already. |
shotz_ said: just do what ur heart tells u. thats what i do. shotz is a well-known serial rapist |
BigBlueBirdy said: The fact that you're considering dating someone on the internet is bad enough already. +1 I would not do that at all for above reason, among many others, and then your cons listed. |
| I think you should go and if you're not impressed, friendzone him. Or get rid of him~ |
| Be thankful for the wisdom granted to you. |
| suicide is always an option. |
 |
Ravioli_Ravioli said: A lot of people tend to forget that.suicide is always an option. |
|
galimx said: BasicallyA date can be just friendly. You go out. Eat someething together. Maybe a nice dinner. And hang out, talk about anime. It doesnt need to be romantical. |
I'm feelin' normal, I'm feelin' myself ♪♪ |
kawaiiyuris said: this is gonna be a stupid thread but what's another wave in the sea of really stupid advice threads on cd basically guy on okcupid messaged me a long thing and asked me on a date at the end of it pros of going: - that message took guts and i appreciate that - seemed nice cons of going: - i have a gf and while we're not strictly monogamous i don't really feel like dating other people - this is gonna sound mean but i'm way out of his league/don't find him attractive at all - my idea of this date would be chilling and talking, but i'm afraid he's gonna want sex or some long term relationship thing and that's a no so basically there are more cons but i just feel bad telling him to gtfo since he typed all that up and i think it's cool when people are straight up about things like that. should i agree to the date but tell him that nothing's gonna happen (except like maaaaaybe making out if he's a really fascinating person) or should i just fade back into inactivity like i usually do? Tell him like it is and be honest about it. If your not interested in guys then speak up don't make him think theres a chance just because you "feel sorry" for him. Pretty sure if I was the guy i'd rather be told that your out of my league then be given a charity date. Cause I personally would wanna know whether the girls shallow cause I would most likely not even considering talking to her at that point but that's just how I am. I don't like people feeling they have to pity me. Besides if your lesbian then you should stick to what you like. I have a lot of really good lesbian friends who have had the same question I always tell them its better to go with how they feel and not put them into a situation that they feel nervous or worried over something. |
| tbh that is news to me. a friendly but not romantic date. this is why I think relationships and love are so complicated and foreign to me. |
Daconator said: I'm curious. I understand you're bisexual, but are you a guy or a girl? girl |
| I was an avid user of okcupid and I'd get long messages like that all the time, it's no big deal quite frankly and you don't owe anyone anything just because they did a (kind of) nice thing for you, especially on a dating website also, unless you listed that you're interested in casual sex or mention sex at all on your profile no one's gonna expect sex on the first date haha. first dates from dating websites are usually just to break the ice and to make sure you're not a serial killer from my experience on okcupid (I even made a thread about it on mal), DON'T go on the date. I, too, went on a date with a man from okc that I felt sorry for, and felt that his whole-heartedness would be able to make up in everything else he was lacking. however I was proven terribly and utterly wrong and he still continues to text me after I've been ignoring him for a week good luck |
 |
| Well you just expressed your lack of interest so don't go. |
| Just need to find out how to quote this every time so I can dodge the stupid 30-character limit. |
| Yes, go on a date and fuck him in the ass. |
| >Asking for dating advice on MAL For real tho, if you don't like him no one is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to date him. |
LoneWolfNov 26, 2015 11:02 PM
 "The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -Friedrich Nietzsche |
| First of all, be straight up with him. Tell him exactly what you do and do not want your "friendship" ( that's what I will call it ) to turn into. If he's okay with everything and you'd still like to go then go. Oh well. No point in doing something that you have no interest in out of pity or empathy. You have absolutely no obligation to go on a "date" Also, an off the topic question... why are you using Okcupid? lol |
Brandon0493Nov 26, 2015 11:05 PM
| Don't go if you're not interested. |
| It seems to me that the only reason you're thinking of going is because you feel like you have to, and you feel guilty if you don't. But really, if you're not interested, you shouldn't go at all. You already seem pretty reluctant. Also, like you said, you have no idea what he wants in a relationship so you wouldn't want to lead him on |
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