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How do you address someone who identifies themselves as a non-binary gender?

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Sep 29, 2017 6:41 AM

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Jul 2009
8549
I use he, you etc.... :/

How is "they" supposed to be used when talking to the person itself anyway??

Do you eat my muffins? :<

Do they eat my muffins? :<

It still feels unnatural as if im talking about another person that do not exist in the conversation...

Apache heli on the other side is ...it.
Sep 29, 2017 6:53 AM

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Mar 2015
489
Either The/Them or just use their name without pronouns, its not that hard respecting other people's preferences.







yeehaw
Sep 29, 2017 7:09 AM

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Dec 2014
4332
I would more likely say "they/it" if it's bothering them.
Today they say you're crazy, tomorrow they will say you're a genious.
Sep 29, 2017 7:18 AM

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Sep 2017
48
If they were born male then "he."
If they were born female then "she."

Gender dysphoria is a real mental illness and we shouldn't reinforce it; it's unhealthy for them and society.
Sep 29, 2017 7:55 AM

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Aug 2013
2694
Oh what the fuck?? xD
I stop coming to the forum for only a couple of months, and this is what people talk about now?
And some people are being genuine...
So little shitposting too...Such a shame...
Sep 29, 2017 7:58 AM

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Jun 2015
6888
I ask first, as a general rule. If they say something weird like het for a pronoun then I just don't socialize with them as I see those things as a sign of special snowflake mark.
Sep 29, 2017 8:03 AM

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Aug 2013
2694
RadGuy said:
If they were born male then "he."
If they were born female then "she."

Gender dysphoria is a real mental illness and we shouldn't reinforce it; it's unhealthy for them and society.

Oh yeah, kill all people with mental disorders. kek
Mental disorders are the new shit m8
I mean i agree with you but the times they are a' changin'
You can't beat the far left as you can't beat something that doesn't have a reason for it's position.
Just accept it, this is the world we live in now, where biology is irrelevant, the earth is flat and everyone who uses their head to think or doesn't have a mental disorder is a Nazi.
Sep 29, 2017 8:11 AM

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Aug 2017
465
Retard.
There are only 2 genders: Male (XY) and female (XX).
The rest are mental problems. No matter what your little brain tells you. You won't switch chromosomes just because you believe it.
Sep 29, 2017 9:22 AM

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Aug 2015
1324
twat, then proceed to argue with them about why they should reconsider their life choices. your a boy or a girl. don't try and tell me otherwise
Sep 29, 2017 9:25 AM

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Jul 2013
2922
"hey you" or just use their name... idk. i sometimes refer back to the gender they look, but usually just refer them third person by name.
Sep 29, 2017 1:09 PM

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Apr 2014
4946
he/him or she/her like the gud lort intended
Sep 29, 2017 1:13 PM

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Jul 2015
4903
Usually non-binary people are ok with they/them pronouns, but I’ll address them however they want to be addressed lol
I would just ask them about what pronouns they’d prefer
Sep 29, 2017 1:27 PM
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Jul 2018
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You ask?
But I don't know. They sounds strange. You're not royal and hopefully one person, so... why they? But tbh, nobody wanted me to use it. There is much exaggeration about that. There aren't so many people, who are like that.
Sep 29, 2017 1:29 PM

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Aug 2009
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MortalMelancholy said:
Do you call them just "you" and "it?" Because clearly sir/ma'am/he/she doesn't cut it. Or thing. "Thing" seems legit.
For example:

some_internet_troll said:
I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.


*So yeah, I'm not going to break the rules of English grammar for the sake of LGBTABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ people, so I'll be using "it" or "that thing" for 3rd person pronouns. Not gonna use "they" or "them" for a single person, and I sure as hell ain't using no gibberish either.


I would address that person as he or she. I am not playing along with that loony retarded idiotic nonsense.
Sep 29, 2017 1:42 PM
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Jul 2018
561864
Lad or mate if he's a bloke.
Luv or flower if she's a lass.
Sep 29, 2017 2:32 PM

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May 2012
250
Swagernator said:
I usually avoid to talk to "people" like that.


things ?


Exactly.

But if interaction is inevitable, He or She.


Men Are From Mars, 
Women Are From Venus 
and Gays Are From Uranus


Sep 29, 2017 2:35 PM

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Jul 2017
51
If they correct me on their gender I'll politely walk away. Jesus Christ
Sep 29, 2017 2:39 PM

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Jun 2016
407
Was born with a D? He.

Was born with a V? She.

Neither? Then I call it attack helicopter. Or as you guessed, It, like an object.

Either way I don't speak to that kind of "people" so I don't have any problems.
Sep 29, 2017 2:51 PM

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Jun 2017
19
I honestly don't even know what that means.
Sep 29, 2017 4:02 PM
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Maneki-Mew said:
You ask?
But I don't know. They sounds strange. You're not royal and hopefully one person, so... why they? But tbh, nobody wanted me to use it. There is much exaggeration about that. There aren't so many people, who are like that.

They tend not to exist in large irl concentrations. On the internet, however, special snowflakes are abundant since they think it gives them the clause to be as stuck up as they want.

The few places they exist also tend to be middle & high schools, colleges and universities. Anyone who hasn't outgrown "third gender" delusion by age 25-30 is going to fail at life or destined to write for a sjw publication run by other special snowflakes that nobody reads except teenage to twentysome special snowflakes. Meanwhile the actual LGBT community is embittered by stupid people appropriating who we are with their attention whorism.

I've so tried to remain open minded, but I honestly cannot stand people who want to force me to do things I'm uncomfortable with. Nor am I enthralled by the idea of LGBT identity being considered a "choice".
Sep 29, 2017 4:18 PM
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spuukiebuugi said:
Maneki-Mew said:
You ask?
But I don't know. They sounds strange. You're not royal and hopefully one person, so... why they? But tbh, nobody wanted me to use it. There is much exaggeration about that. There aren't so many people, who are like that.

They tend not to exist in large irl concentrations. On the internet, however, special snowflakes are abundant since they think it gives them the clause to be as stuck up as they want.

The few places they exist also tend to be middle & high schools, colleges and universities. Anyone who hasn't outgrown "third gender" delusion by age 25-30 is going to fail at life or destined to write for a sjw publication run by other special snowflakes that nobody reads except teenage to twentysome special snowflakes. Meanwhile the actual LGBT community is embittered by stupid people appropriating who we are with their attention whorism.

I've so tried to remain open minded, but I honestly cannot stand people who want to force me to do things I'm uncomfortable with. Nor am I enthralled by the idea of LGBT identity being considered a "choice".

Tbh, I always used the term "special snowflake" different. ^^" I used it for (mostly) teenagers, who are like: "Everyone is the same, but I'm special" or "I'm not like the other girls. They are dumb bimbos, but I do boyish things and I'm better" etc. etc...
But not related to their gender-identity per se.
I don't like people, who are constantly want attention in general, but they come from every corner. I don't really care either. Just don't give people, who are actually attention whores, so much attention?
Tbh, if someone really feels "genderless" or something else, I'm curious, because I can't imagine how they see their body and what does it feels like. Just because of scientific / psychological curiosity / curiosity on humans. It's not up to me to decide, if they "really feel" that way. It's just not my business after all and I don't really care, if someone changes their mind about that or not etc...
I just got angry one time, because of that hypocrisy. A woman tried to explain to me that I'm "a victim of society", because I was TOO FEMININE in her eyes: "Well, then fuck you too very much...?" XD
Sep 29, 2017 4:20 PM

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Jun 2016
3587
I call the nearest psych ward and tell them one of their patients got loose again.
Sep 29, 2017 5:45 PM

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Jul 2016
5145
There is no such thing as Non-binary. Just men and women.
Sep 29, 2017 6:05 PM
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Aug 2017
131
I identify as non-binary, but I don't particularly care what pronouns people use. It's just whatever.

If I'm referring to someone else, obviously I'd do my best to meet their requests. "He," "she," "they", and "ze" are all one syllable. It makes no difference to me.

Personally, I think the people who make such huge deals about it are more "special snowflake"-like than the people who identify as non-binary. It literally harms you in no way whatsoever, so why do you even care? And no, calling someone "they" instead of "he" is not going to brainwash your child and turn them into a monstrous pedophile when they grow older. Just no.
Sep 29, 2017 8:56 PM

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Mar 2008
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Maneki-Mew said:
You ask?
But I don't know. They sounds strange. You're not royal and hopefully one person, so... why they? But tbh, nobody wanted me to use it. There is much exaggeration about that. There aren't so many people, who are like that.

There is no such thing as Royal they. You're thinking of Royal we. Sigular they is very common and use goes far back.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_we
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣸⠋⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⡔⠀⢀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⡘⡰⠁⠘⡀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣠⠴⢑⡨⠊⡀⠤⠚⢉⣴⣾⣿⡿⣾⣿⡇⠀⠹⣻⠛⠉⠉⢀⠠⠺⠀⠀⡀⢄⣴⣾⣧⣞⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠐⠒⣉⠠⠄⡂⠅⠊⠁⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢠⣷⣮⡍⡠⠔⢉⡇⡠⠋⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀
Sep 29, 2017 9:03 PM

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Jan 2014
3838
Nyu said:
There is no such thing as Non-binary. Just men and women.




They should remove the non binary option on MAL
Sep 29, 2017 10:04 PM
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Jul 2018
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traed said:
Maneki-Mew said:
You ask?
But I don't know. They sounds strange. You're not royal and hopefully one person, so... why they? But tbh, nobody wanted me to use it. There is much exaggeration about that. There aren't so many people, who are like that.

There is no such thing as Royal they. You're thinking of Royal we. Sigular they is very common and use goes far back.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_we
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they

Well then. Tho, it's still weird, but you just use that, I guess.
Sep 29, 2017 10:05 PM

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Mar 2016
550
Talking about them "they" and "them" are acceptable and because I live in California "dude."
Sep 29, 2017 10:37 PM

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Aug 2017
56
people whose gender identities don't fall squarely within the traditional definitions of "male" or "female" encounters with these people often take the form of unwanted and awkward questions that can make them feel vulnerable or unsafe.
I would refer "HOI" to "them" or "it"

"Me Want Cookie! Me eat Cookie! Om
nom nom nom"
Sep 29, 2017 10:43 PM

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Nov 2014
4054
I think "non-binary identities" are more like personalities not a gender, and anyone who insist otherwise are deluded and conflating personalities with gender.

However I will still entertain their delusions of themselves, because I'm too lazy as fuck to argue. All supposed non-binary identities lie along the male to female spectrum. If they look male, he. If they look female, she. If they insist on anything else, no. If they don't attempt to look like the gender identification, they are clearly not even putting in any effort being non-binary/trans, so why should I play my part in entertaining them? So no.

RadGuy said:
If they were born male then "he."
If they were born female then "she."

Gender dysphoria is a real mental illness and we shouldn't reinforce it; it's unhealthy for them and society.


If someone is already into their late teens or 20s and still identify themselves as something stupid other than their biological sex, they are a lost hope already. Just not bother with them, it's not worth the effort getting into an argument.

However I agree with your approach if we are dealing with children.
BurningSpiritSep 29, 2017 11:55 PM
If your favourite character is Tsutsukakushi Tsukiko, you are my soul mate.

Been a long time since I've been here, I'll continue expressing myself freely and believe everyone should too.
My MAL Interview
Sep 29, 2017 10:48 PM

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May 2015
5426
Calling someone "it" would generally be considered rude, but I don't give a shit. If they want to just completely ignore science and facts, why should I be nice to them?

Sep 30, 2017 12:33 AM

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Jun 2008
25970
If it looks like a male...I will use appropriate male pronouns.

Same if it looks female.

IF...they then say “Excuse you cis scum, I’m a non-binary snowflake and I demand you apologize and check your male privilege at the door!”....then I’ll forget about decent courtesy and start calling this thing every negative adjective I can think of.

Sep 30, 2017 12:37 AM

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Dec 2015
7395
I would just use whatever their preferred personal pronoun is...seems simple to me.
Sep 30, 2017 12:42 AM
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Aug 2017
131
My question is, if these people hate it so much that "SJWs" are "triggered" about words or phrases, why are they themselves so triggered by this? It's kind of hypocritical, isn't it? It doesn't affect you to call them by their preferred pronouns, so why are you so salty?

Is your masculinity/femininity so fragile that you need to attack anyone who doesn't fit with your narrow worldviews? Let's see how many people get triggered by this. lol

Anyway, who cares about your high school "biology"? It's not like that shit is accurate. Even in lower-level college science classes, if you talk earnestly with the professor, they'll admit that they're required to tell all sorts of lies and generalizations to make the content easier to understand for the idiots who won't go any further in life. "There's XY and XX and that's it" is complete bullshit, and anyone who doesn't know as much is either in their early teens or is just plain stupid. Not that biological sex means a whole lot when it comes to gender identity, but your "science" doesn't excuse being a dick anyway.
Sep 30, 2017 12:47 AM

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25970
Bobby2Hands said:
I would just use whatever their preferred personal pronoun is...seems simple to me.

As long as it’s a REAL pronoun I’m fine with that.

I’m not calling anyone made up pronouns like “xir”...

If a biological male identifies as a female and wants to be called “she”...ok.

But, if I randomly see you in the streets and you look like a male...and I call you “he”, that doesn’t mean I’m being disrespectful.

If I get to know you, then I can be more sympathetic and use other pronouns....but they still have to be REAL pronouns.
Sep 30, 2017 12:49 AM

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chicoplaya said:
Retard.
There are only 2 genders: Male (XY) and female (XX).
The rest are mental problems. No matter what your little brain tells you. You won't switch chromosomes just because you believe it.

There are 6 possible chromosome combinations in humans.

XX
XY
XO
XXY
XXX
XYY

So I guess there are six genders right?
Sep 30, 2017 12:52 AM
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DoctorWasabi said:
Nyu said:
There is no such thing as Non-binary. Just men and women.




They should remove the non binary option on MAL

I was trying to get them to do that after they added it.
A lot of people just use is as a troll anyway. Completely useless.
Sep 30, 2017 8:43 AM
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Sep 2017
6
Ma nnnnaaammmeee isss jefffffffff
Sep 30, 2017 9:35 AM

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Feb 2014
1083
tbh i wouldnt associate with anyone that special in the first place
Sep 30, 2017 9:39 AM

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Jun 2016
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Just go with they/them or their name. If you're really unsure, then ask them. It isn't a rude thing to do. It's only rude to call them by certain pronouns after they've specifically asked you not to.
People die when they're killed!
Sep 30, 2017 9:58 AM

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5536
I am married to someone non-binary. I address him as "male". Unless explicitly dressed as female with a wig or extensions and make up. He does not care what gender he is referred to. But was born male. Prefers female pronouns generally as he does dress in lady clothing (casual, like girl jeans and t-shirt) every single day.

If he is trans and asks me to someday call him by lady pronouns forever I would. He says he is cool with me calling him how I do though because we are married and that is a certain level of intimacy.

He has a girl's name he goes by. Looks gender androgynous enough to be mistaken for a girl a LOT.

Unless he is doing something stereotypically identified with a gender- like going to see Terminator 2 feels masculine. Dressing in a pretty dress feels feminine. <--
Both feel positive.

Feeling guilty about hair on legs or face <--- feminine negative on masculinity feelings. To the point where it feels psychologically worrying for him to have to deal with body hair so much and the fact that for him he has sensitive skin so it doesn't come off easily... :(

Wearing girl clothing that is so neutral that it could be boy clothing. Unisex clothing being more common in girl's section but not just that, fits him better physically because he is 20 pounds underweight. But it is also what he does when he is more unhappy with his body. Usually more flamboyant attire means he is happier. More girlish haircuts, more girlish makeups, more girly shirts, wearing a skirt- this would be a very happy person.

But he has told me over and over "I don't ever feel like doing any sort of hormone therapy, or chopping off my wang. I like my penis. My penis and I are friends."

I think if I were to easily put this into anime terms you could understand: He is a trap. Girl presenting is the happiest he would be. But physically loves being a boy. Loves his boy parts. Just hates looking like a boy. Finds girls prettier and a more ideal beauty standard. And he has felt this way since he was a child. His positive emotions are tied into looking like a girl. His negative emotions looking like a boy. Trans people are more than aesthetics but these aesthetics do cause my husband
emotional distress(OCD).


And like traps in anime, he is feminine even in mannerisms. Trans people do mistake him for trans. People who do know him... say he is probably the reason they believe gender non-binary even exists. Mostly because he doesn't even make a big deal of pronouns. If people ask, he will say "I don't care, but I prefer female pronouns." <--- But if you think of drag queens, they are also called by female pronouns despite not being necessarily female either.

You could say this person is simply a crossdresser... but I think there is a difference between someone who crossdresses possibly for fetish and only on occasion and someone who does it as a lifestyle. And he used to self identify as a tranny. lol. But the community got pissed off at him. So he just says gender fluid. He doesn't like the term crossdresser as it doesn't accurately define what he is doing. "It is way too hetero"*. Anyone can crossdress. Not everyone does it for 10 years.

*tis a joke. And more on the people who say he has to use the word crossdresser for what he does. lol.
Energetic-NovaSep 30, 2017 10:08 AM
The anime community in a nutshell.
Sep 30, 2017 10:05 AM
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4808
I wouldnt address them at all but I would tell them to wake up and stop pretending to be special when theyre not. If you have a dick, youre a man. If you have punani, youre a gal. Simple as that.
'The way of the wang is long...and hard'
Sep 30, 2017 10:07 AM

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Jan 2011
705
If you have doubts about adressing such person with specific gender-related words, ask them how they'd like to be adressed as.
Sep 30, 2017 10:28 AM

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Nov 2016
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Whatever pronoun they prefer. I'm gonna be honest and probably mess up sometimes, since gender neutral pronouns aren't really a thing in Germany, but I'll try.

(I'm also fascinated by everyone in this thread who acts like they have magical x-ray vision and can see what's in somebodies pants.)
Sep 30, 2017 1:37 PM

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Jan 2017
1179
i have not talked to anyone like that before but i won't use the word "they" when talking to someone. if a person doesn't want me to use the words "he" and "she" then i will call this person by his name. if he doesn't like that then that's his problem.
Sep 30, 2017 1:44 PM

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Recently learned that in Chinese, 'ta' can refer to both a he and she.

This is really a problem for westerners i think ;) I'll just do whatever is appropriate. Personally I think 'he' is fine for myself :P

detecting a bit of saltiness in this thread
xMizu_Sep 30, 2017 1:48 PM
I CELEBRATE myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.
Sep 30, 2017 2:27 PM

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5536
Cyborg_Icarus29 said:
i have not talked to anyone like that before but i won't use the word "they" when talking to someone. if a person doesn't want me to use the words "he" and "she" then i will call this person by his name. if he doesn't like that then that's his problem.


I actually used someone's name over and over again to refer to them when I did not know their gender.
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Sep 30, 2017 2:33 PM

Offline
Jun 2011
5536
Modslayer said:
I wouldnt address them at all but I would tell them to wake up and stop pretending to be special when theyre not. If you have a dick, youre a man. If you have punani, youre a gal. Simple as that.


What if you couldn't tell by looking at them and you whistle at them while in the passenger side of your best friend's ride, then get embarrassed if they turn out to be the opposite of your thinking when they say anything?

I mean some people are that androgynous...

Also going to note most people who seem to come out as such actually don't look typical for their gender. Or are generally funny looking...

See: Steven Tyler who did say he feels more female than male but is generally 50/50. And you can honestly see it in everything he wears, his mannerisms... ect.

And then there are some people who just don't pass for straight ever: Tilda Swinton who said she doesn't really identify with being a girl... and went through a period of being a boy. lol.
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Sep 30, 2017 2:46 PM

Offline
Mar 2008
53425
Bobby2Hands said:
chicoplaya said:
Retard.
There are only 2 genders: Male (XY) and female (XX).
The rest are mental problems. No matter what your little brain tells you. You won't switch chromosomes just because you believe it.

There are 6 possible chromosome combinations in humans.

XX
XY
XO
XXY
XXX
XYY

So I guess there are six genders right?

I wonder why YY doesn't happen. I assume that chromosome is to unstable without X. Never heard of XO before.
⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣸⠋⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⡔⠀⢀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⡘⡰⠁⠘⡀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡰⠃⢀⠎⠀⠀⡜⡨⢢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣄⠀⠀⣠⠀⠀⠀⠐⢛⠽⠗⠁⠀⠁⠊⠀⡜⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣠⠴⢑⡨⠊⡀⠤⠚⢉⣴⣾⣿⡿⣾⣿⡇⠀⠹⣻⠛⠉⠉⢀⠠⠺⠀⠀⡀⢄⣴⣾⣧⣞⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Sep 30, 2017 2:48 PM

Offline
Sep 2009
8848
traed said:
Bobby2Hands said:

There are 6 possible chromosome combinations in humans.

XX
XY
XO
XXY
XXX
XYY

So I guess there are six genders right?

I wonder why YY doesn't happen. I assume that chromosome is to unstable without X. Never heard of XO before.

Humans don't work without an X chromosome. XO is actually not an uncommon monosomy.
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It’s time to ditch the text file.
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