| Women often criticize men for being insensitive, uncaring, not warm, not compassionate, etc. To speak from experience, two women who don't know each other both called me heartless and it's been puzzling me for years. Based on my observation, I feel that oftentimes men have done enough but somehow our standards seem to be different. They also think that we should know what they want even though we can't read their minds. I just don't get it. So, what do women mean by that notion and what should men do? Edit: In addition to the vagueness of the notion, wouldn't men lose their appeal if they comply with women's request? Is it a duality of women? Here is the excerpt of an article I found after a quick google: "Women may say they want a sensitive man but they don't always love one," said Harvey Mansfield, professor of political philosophy at Harvard and author of "Manliness." "They are sometimes much more attracted to a manly man. He may be more oblivious of their needs and their desires but impresses them more." https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=1754631 |
vuxkSep 15, 2020 7:09 AM
| "You misunderstood from the very beginning. You just believed what you wanted to believe." Rei Ayanami |
| because the venn diagram of those insensitive men is a complete fucking circle with men who have the self confidence to speak with and have relationships with such women meanwhile those who complain about being called insensitive are just the boys who are unable to talk to women and can never understand what women mean why they say men are insensitive because they lack the ability to ever be with one in the first place |
| Maybe they've just had shitty experiences with men. People often mistake me as a woman and I've had some pretty terrible people trying to hit on me on the basis of them thinking I was a woman. Honestly I can't blame them for thinking that at all, even if it wrong to preemptively judge people like that. |
  π πΌ'π π½πΆππΉππβ£ π  β Λｑβΰ¨ΰ§Λ π π―ππΎππππ π π΄πππ―ππ·π π Λΰ¨ΰ§βο½‘Λ β π πππΉπΎππππππππππΈππΎππ π |
| Damn it's probably true in my case lmao I'm an insensitive f*ck, people cry about their problems and I'm like meh that's no big deal, but ofc I'm bawling watching anime, it's just another day in the life of an assh*le |
| This anime shit is addictive |
| If it happened at work, you should not care much about it. We men are not supposed to display those kind of emotions in public because they simply make us appear weak and make us the target of jokes of our peers. But women can take advantage of the common prejudice that makes them appear more compassionate to display unnecessary emotions in public as it is socially acceptable for them to behave this way. It is clearly not for men, and the so-called "toxic masculinity" may well be responsible for this; just try using the word "beautiful" at school or speak about classic music (say): the word "faggot" or worse will never be far away in the mouths of the other cynical schoolboys. Of course, it goes beyond this stupid buzzword, as the never ending competition at school, college and work can only make us more and more insensitive. Or at least, more prone to act as if we were insensitive. When does the comedy end? It is not up to colleagues who do not know much about you to say a word about this. I think that not displaying emotions in public is not an issue, quite the contrary; people often need to put their feelings aside and merely "do the job." I also have the intuition that being less compassionate gives you more willpower, which is always good in any possible work. No one should have to care about the moods of his colleagues at work. Keep it professional. I can only think about sharing thoughts and feelings that deviate a little from the usual neutral behaviour I normally display to some close friends who would not laugh at them. At work, I often make ironic jokes and people already called me "mean", but they just do not understand that mean people often show a pretty face while plotting in their backs. If people need help, I am generally eager to help them, but if they do not ask or make some personal efforts, I am clearly not going to start guessing their thoughts or feel bad for them. That probably makes me not very compassionate, what a pity... That is amusing that you mention it because sensitive women are of a rare kind. If people are as vile and base as the public, we must come to the conclusion that among men and women, very few are sensitive enough to enjoy good verses and not yawn during a fine Opera. How should we call the phenomenon of people who pretend to be sensitive in public? It may be a subset of "virtue signalling" and probably deserves a name of its own but it is nothing new. Make no mistake, people who cry over the misery of poor people thousands of miles away do not give to beggars on the streets and are no better that the servant Françoise (In Search of Lost Time) who complains emphatically about "our poor harvests" and takes pleasure at killing chickens while shouting "nasty animal! nasty animal!". Emotion is like gravity; it decreases proportionally to the squared distance, and people who would claim the contrary would only attract my suspicion about their sincerity... Last but not least, I get the feeling that some people use these name callings only to dismiss your thoughts and opinions. I think that you should ignore those kind of people. P.S. Women may well be more caring in average as some job repartitions shows it. Does it give them the right to say that you are insensitive? I do not think so. They are probably insensitive themselves to start with... (source) P.P.S. I was never called insensitive but I was already called a "nice guy", so that makes us even. In fact, we only have one word for "nice" and "kind" in French, so I may also have been called a "kind person", which would not be so bad :-). TLDR: Real and delicate emotions do not need public approval and therefore really sensitive people do not display them to the rude and insensitive people around them who could only take advantage of their apparent weakness. |
| Easiest answer to a question ever. Because we are. Men are taught to be work machines without emotions, and if we were to show them, we would be defined as "snowflakes". I think this is One of the worst cause of gender incompatibility that we created on our own. |
| Do you know how tiresome it can be, being sensitive to every single thing that you're expected to be sensitive to? Especially if you're having a hard time displaying and conveying emotions properly as it is, and try to correct it to not come across as a heartless prick which can result in overcompensation, making them think you're superficial and insincere. |
 |
Auron_ said: Do you know how tiresome it can be, being sensitive to every single thing that you're expected to be sensitive to? Especially if you're having a hard time displaying and conveying emotions properly as it is, and try to correct it to not come across as a heartless prick which can result in overcompensation, making them think you're superficial and insincere. The fact is it shouldn't be tiresome. It should be natural. It's tiresome because you were taught to reject emotions. |
| If they are being insensitive, but woman can be insensitive too. |
 just wanna feel wanted by someone other than the police π« |
| Because men don't cry about every little adversity they face. And this question is fucking ironic, considering that women are also insensitive to men's problems, and when speak up about their problems, they often just tell men to "man up" or call them names. |
| People who uses MAL forums are mostly bug people, take their speech with a grain of salt. Professional Supreme Gentleman - ζδΊΊγ―γγͺγγιΈγγ ε εΌγ§γ https://www.reddit.com/r/AnimeElitism/ (AnimeElitism Reddit) https://discord.gg/4kdGsFG (Dead Discord) 2ιγε η88#7307 |
| "Being a true men doesn't need to cry" must be cancelled. Every human being equally has emotions based on the contextual impact. Seriously, I'm really sick and tired of "acting like real men". We are not robots made up of steel muscles. |
 "You don't get it, a million sorry's is not equal to one thank you." — Emilia |
| Because they show their sensitivity in a way women don't understand. |
If life ain't just a joke Then why are we laughing? If life ain't just a joke Then why am I dead? |
| It's because men rely on intellect while women rely on emotions. |
 “There is great satisfaction in fighting for the sake of gaining power, but it’s joyless to fight for the sake of maintaining it.” – Reinhard Von Lohengramm |
| I just wanna add: In addition to the vagueness of the notion, wouldn't men lose their appeal if they comply with women's request? Is it a duality of women? Here is the excerpt of an article I found after a quick google: "Women may say they want a sensitive man but they don't always love one," said Harvey Mansfield, professor of political philosophy at Harvard and author of "Manliness." "They are sometimes much more attracted to a manly man. He may be more oblivious of their needs and their desires but impresses them more." https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=1754631 |
| "You misunderstood from the very beginning. You just believed what you wanted to believe." Rei Ayanami |
| Being sensitive is being vulnerable, and there are way too much downsides to vulnerability for men. Be too caring and sensitive at work and other men may harass/bully you. Be too caring and sensitive to your significant other and she may dump you and you'll feel like you've lost everything, because you cared about it in the first place. So... yeah, be resilient folks, the world is against us. |
 |
| Attention straight guys: From my experience, girls just want you to talk about your feelings. It's that simple. You don't have to cry or be "sensitive". Just literally say how you're feeling every once in a while. Happy, sad, angry. Whatever. That's what they wanna hear. It's literally that easy. "A friend called me today who I haven't spoken to in a long time. It made me feel really happy." All you gotta do. |
 |
| Take cover, macho man has been unbanned and he's out to prove he has the biggest one! |
Prophetess of the Golden Era  |
Cookies said: because the venn diagram of those insensitive men is a complete fucking circle with men who have the self confidence to speak with and have relationships with such women meanwhile those who complain about being called insensitive are just the boys who are unable to talk to women and can never understand what women mean why they say men are insensitive because they lack the ability to ever be with one in the first place Why don't you enlighten us boys of MAL then? We're all ears. |
| "You misunderstood from the very beginning. You just believed what you wanted to believe." Rei Ayanami |
Hillary_Clinton_ said: If you're too insensitive? Stereotypical male, overly insensitive, toxically masculine, super duper bad and evil If you're too sensitive? Male fragility, small male ego, super duper bad and evil Kind of a catch 22 Not really, because the group 1 is the one using those words on 2 lol |
vuxk said: nah i think i'd prefer to watch you struggle and squirm in an effort to try and find your own way but ultimately fail xCookies said: Why don't you enlighten us boys of MAL then? because the venn diagram of those insensitive men is a complete fucking circle with men who have the self confidence to speak with and have relationships with such women meanwhile those who complain about being called insensitive are just the boys who are unable to talk to women and can never understand what women mean why they say men are insensitive because they lack the ability to ever be with one in the first place We're all ears. |
Meusnier said: If it happened at work, you should not care much about it. We men are not supposed to display those kind of emotions in public because they simply make us appear weak and make us the target of jokes of our peers. But women can take advantage of the common prejudice that makes them appear more compassionate to display unnecessary emotions in public as it is socially acceptable for them to behave this way. It is clearly not for men, and the so-called "toxic masculinity" may well be responsible for this; just try using the word "beautiful" at school or speak about classic music (say): the word "faggot" or worse will never be far away in the mouths of the other cynical schoolboys. Of course, it goes beyond this stupid buzzword, as the never ending competition at school, college and work can only make us more and more insensitive. Or at least, more prone to act as if we were insensitive. When does the comedy end? It is not up to colleagues who do not know much about you to say a word about this. I think that not displaying emotions in public is not an issue, quite the contrary; people often need to put their feelings aside and merely "do the job." I also have the intuition that being less compassionate gives you more willpower, which is always good in any possible work. No one should have to care about the moods of his colleagues at work. Keep it professional. I can only think about sharing thoughts and feelings that deviate a little from the usual neutral behaviour I normally display to some close friends who would not laugh at them. At work, I often make ironic jokes and people already called me "mean", but they just do not understand that mean people often show a pretty face while plotting in their backs. If people need help, I am generally eager to help them, but if they do not ask or make some personal efforts, I am clearly not going to start guessing their thoughts or feel bad for them. That probably makes me not very compassionate, what a pity... That is amusing that you mention it because sensitive women are of a rare kind. If people are as vile and base as the public, we must come to the conclusion that among men and women, very few are sensitive enough to enjoy good verses and not yawn during a fine Opera. How should we call the phenomenon of people who pretend to be sensitive in public? It may be a subset of "virtue signalling" and probably deserves a name of its own but it is nothing new. Make no mistake, people who cry over the misery of poor people thousands of miles away do not give to beggars on the streets and are no better that the servant Françoise (In Search of Lost Time) who complains emphatically about "our poor harvests" and takes pleasure at killing chickens while shouting "nasty animal! nasty animal!". Emotion is like gravity; it decreases proportionally to the squared distance, and people who would claim the contrary would only attract my suspicion about their sincerity... Last but not least, I get the feeling that some people use these name callings only to dismiss your thoughts and opinions. I think that you should ignore those kind of people. P.S. Women may well be more caring in average as some job repartitions shows it. Does it give them the right to say that you are insensitive? I do not think so. They are probably insensitive themselves to start with... (source) P.P.S. I was never called insensitive but I was already called a "nice guy", so that makes us even. In fact, we only have one word for "nice" and "kind" in French, so I may also have been called a "kind person", which would not be so bad :-). TLDR: Real and delicate emotions do not need public approval and therefore really sensitive people do not display them to the rude and insensitive people around them who could only take advantage of their apparent weakness. Very interesting post, I'm glad I took the time to read it. You gave me a whole new perspective on this matter. I'll think more about it. Salty-GB said: Attention straight guys: From my experience, girls just want you to talk about your feelings. It's that simple. You don't have to cry or be "sensitive". Just literally say how you're feeling every once in a while. Happy, sad, angry. Whatever. That's what they wanna hear. It's literally that easy. "A friend called me today who I haven't spoken to in a long time. It made me feel really happy." All you gotta do. Not only females, I observe that's true to some extent for most people. Everyone always expects you to share feelings, impressions and thoughts spontaneously, and I understand that being spontaneous is important in building relationships (in general), but as a more closed up, less social person, I always struggled REALLY understanding why that is so important. I understand sharing opinions and talking about subjects, just not the part about emotions. We all have emotions all the time, why is it relevant to talk about it if it's not gonna lead into a concrete topic? |
Hillary_Clinton_ said: i've read that message 8 times and i still don't know if you're agreeing or disagreeing with me. i recommend you choose agree because im always rightCookies said: because the venn diagram of those insensitive men is a complete fucking circle with men who have the self confidence to speak with and have relationships with such women meanwhile those who complain about being called insensitive are just the boys who are unable to talk to women and can never understand what women mean why they say men are insensitive because they lack the ability to ever be with one in the first place The way so many bitter twitter shutins try to pass this developmentally arrested elementary school "boys vs. girls" mentality off as feminism is the reason feminism is a dirty word, even among well adjusted women and fence-sitting guys who don't lean too far one way or the other politically. "because they lack the ability to ever be with one in the first place" It always boils down to these little social shaming attempts with you people. Which is funny, but not in the way you think it is. It's basically incel logic, the reason incels are so obsessed with "ascending." What you're doing is reducing women to a social climbing tool for men, i.e. "if you can potentially have sexual success with me your ideas are valid and you have meaning, otherwise they're invalid and you don't have meaning." You're tacitly saying women have no real value other than their vaginas. |
| Cause dudes generally aren't as emotional as women are. Men only really get emotional when it comes to personal attacks and extreme tragedy. Like losing a loved one, or losing their house or something. Opposed to women who tend to be more susceptible to getting emotional when it comes to more trivial things that men generally wouldn't. |
| Well usually for men they are told that it's not okay for them to express their emotiions, and women are told that they're overly sensitive or too emotional But in general it all really comes down to the person. Because there are some women who would like a sensitive guy, and there are some women who don't. I don't think you should generalize all women like that because they're all different, just like men are. I'd say if you have an issue with like expressing emotion or being sensitive in relationships, you should just find someone who doesn't really require that big of an emotional connection in a relationship. Because if you don't then you either have to change or the other person has to change, but most likely the relationship won't work out if someone wants more than the other person can give. |
| I grew up with the idea that men aren't suppose to cry and they are meant to be mature. I thought mature guys don't really openly show their emotions and constantly maintain a calm temper and shit like that. I guess that can be misinterpreted as being insensitive. |
| because they are. Deal with it. .... |
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