| I rejected someone, using the line "sorry, not attracted". Yada yada, to make a long story short, I'm apparently shallow. If I judge someone by appearance + voice + mannerisms, is it really because I'm shallow or is calling someone "shallow" just an excuse for someone to not accept their insecurities? Oh and holy shit. MAL is becoming gif savvy. |
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| Sure, why not? |
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| In a way, perhaps it is. And also perhaps saying a person is shallow, in general, is simply not accepting another person's values. Only caring about looks is seen as shallow, but if that's what the person values, then why does it have to be negative? Things that go against the social norm often fall prey to negative terms like that. But, in your first line, it's clearly being used outside of it's actual meaning in an attempt to make the person feel better about themselves by putting you down. |
| I think you were being quite generous for not dragging things out to a annoying time. |
 Behold of my awesomeness~ controversial and/or sensitive topics likely devolve into the same repetitive, derogatory, abusive, and harassing comments can no longer be posted. But my feels. |
| Only judging someone based on looks is pretty shallow by my standards. Well, if you don't have much else to go by,and you don't know the person that well, you can't make a detailed judgment anyway. What are you going to do? Go into a relationship uninterested? Sometimes it may be just an excuse. |
 I can see you |
| Hey we now live in the era of "its whats on the inside that counts" so everybody thinks they deserve a chance at a relationship with that 10/10 would bang cutie. Shallowness should be an insult reserved for purely superficial people. Its not just rejecting someone else because of appearance, it could be something as stupid as "omg that style of coat was in style last year, get with the times you poseur. And that nail polish with those shoes? Ew." |
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| It's not even that shallow. Looks and aesthetics will be judged, whether one likes it or not, be it consciously or subconsciously. Whoever called you shallow would most likely have the same attitude in a different situation, and then that makes then a hypocrite as well. Just ignore them. We're all "shallow" to some extent, and your situation, I see nothing wrong with what you said. |
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| Shallow is if you place aesthetics above personality. |
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| I'm not gonna date someone I don't find attractive and I have no obligation to. |
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ReaperCreeper said: I'm not gonna date someone I don't find attractive and I have no obligation to. |
ayuxx said: Only taking surface traits into consideration is exactly what shallow means. The term is called "shallow" for a reason.... |
| If you don't find someone attractive you have all rights to tell him or her to fuck off. What if I don't want to know you? What if for me looks also have some importance? After all, we first judge by appearance (humans do that in general), that is the first step, if you're not attractive then you're simply irrelevant. |
Play League of Legends here! Autocrat said: Hitler was good, objectively. |
You gotta take it in stride. This is how I usually reply in those situations. |
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| uh if you rejected someone you barely know you could say you're not shallow since you don't really know the person. however, if you talked to the person and you think they have a nice personality but just rejected cuz they looked below average or below your standards, than yeah you're shallow. there's nothing wrong with being shallow though cuz everyone is shallow to an extent. |
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lagcrazy said: It's not for you to decide what I find beautiful.i hate people who say disabled people/deformed people are beautiful; yes i know, they have a beautiful personality (some) but if you say they look beautiful on the outside you're just delusional |
Play League of Legends here! Autocrat said: Hitler was good, objectively. |
| Why should you force yourself into a relationship that will disgust you? Maybe you don't want to kiss that face. There's a genetic pre-disposition there, so it isn't totally your fault, and either way it's your call to make. Telling someone they can't be your friend because they're not attractive, or that their opinion doesn't matter because of it... that is shallow. Choosing not to engage in romance with someone you don't have romantic feelings for, is not shallow. |
| i guess but its you so whatever |
| RRRRRRRRRR |
| People use the word "shallow" when they have the mistaken belief that their personality is "deep". This stems back from the ancient Greek-informed religious beliefs that a soul, which gives consciousness, is God-given, and true, as opposed to the impermanent body. We know now that this is bullshit, and that a person's personality is defined by a series of physical reactions like the formation of her titties. These cliches are used to press value judgments on empirical fact without evidence. They want to feel as if their conscious experience has some metaphysical value, and that you should value them just the same. The word "shallow" is loaded with the cultural impression that "deep" is good, so users of the word are actually just communicating that they think it's a negative trait if you don't agree with their values and feelings of self-importance. |
| My subjective reviews: katsureview.wordpress.com THE CHAT CLUB. |
| Only people who are bitter from getting rejected call the one who rejected them shallow. Why must I date someone I'm not at all attracted to? What, to avoid hurting her feelings? What about mine? |
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| What's wrong with being "shallow"? It is your right to place values on characteristics of another individual, if they see your values as "shallow" because society dictates placing values on superficial things like looks or wealth as "shallow" then fine. They are just reiterating what you just said, that you place a higher value on characteristics like the looks of an individual. No sense lying to yourself or to them, that won't benefit either in the long run. |
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| Dont judge a book by its cover but you have the right to judge however you want so it is fine. |
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| It's shallow if that's *all* you care about, or if you talk/act like their attractiveness is really what matters, as opposed to who they are. It's understandable that you wouldn't want to date someone you're not attracted to. But just saying flat out "sorry, not attracted" is kind of blunt and hurtful. So the person being rejected feels like that's all you care about, and won't even give their personality a chance. I just would have worded it differently. Even saying "sorry, I don't see you as more than a friend" would be better than just flat out saying you think they're unattractive. The way you said it came out like not only a rejection, but an insult as well. So I don't think it's shallow to want to date people you are attracted to, but telling someone you won't date them because you're not attracted to them can still *sound* shallow to that person. VonMalegowski said: I sometimes get called shallow when I say I only care about a girls physical appearance. Which I think is complete nonsense, I mean if I don't find a girl attractive why would I want to date her? I'd call you shallow too if you said you ONLY care about a girl's physical appearance. That's the very epitome of shallow. Maybe leave out the *only* part and people won't call you that? XD |
JadeQuetzalDec 6, 2014 8:11 AM
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| I'd say you're shallow if you ONLY care about looks. Like if you'd date a guy/girl who you thought was a complete piece of shit just because they were attractive. Otherwise, it's just preference. I'm not attracted to fat chicks. Over the summer I had to turn down this girl I was talking to because she was clearly starting to get infatuated with me. I told her I didn't see her that way and she got all offended, but it's like, sorry, the guy downstairs calls the shots, not me. |
[b]“To be honest, as this world goes, is to be one man picked out of ten thousand.” - Hamlet [/b] |
| Nah. I'm pretty shallow, but its turned out to be a good habbit so, I don't know |
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| depends on the circumstances imo. she doesn't seem to care about being friends so i wouldn't say you were entirely wrong, at the same time your answer probably brought out the "shallow" response and it could've been handled much better. i've rejected a couple people based on appearance, who in the end turned out to be really cool once the friendship barrier was established, if given the option again i would 100% say yes. |
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