Although I feel DBZ Movie 4: "Lord Slug" is the worst DBZ movie, DBZ Movie 6: Cooler's Return AKA "Clash of of 10 Billion Powerful Warriors" is another one of the 3 truly awful DBZ movies. This is the movie I will be discussing today, before wrapping up my trilogy of reviews with DBZ Movie 11: Bio Broly.
The general consensus is that Cooler's Return has the single worst plot of any DBZ movie. I fully agree with this conclusion. After being blasted into the Sun with a Kamehameha, A small fracture of Cooler's skull including his eye has somehow managed to escape
the Sun's tremendous gravity and travel an unbelievable distance into deep interstellar space. In the void of interstellar space, the skull fragment collides with a super advanced alien computer chip, which is drifting way out in deep space because...reasons. This computer chip uses Cooler's remaining brain (even though we can see VERY little if any brain survived) to construct a giant mass called the "Big Gete Star" out of astroids and self replicating nano-machines. This giant, grey blob called the Big Gete Star happened to be near the new Planet Namek, so Cooler took control of the Gete star and commanded it to attach on to Namek like a giant tumor and drain the planet's energy. Even if we were to buy the bullshit about Cooler's skull fragment escaping the Sun's gravity, how in the HOLY FUCK did the skull fragment travel far enough to be near New Namek when it collided with the computer chip!!? New Namek wasn't even located in the same quadrant of the Universe as Earth. If you were to divide the entire Universe into 4 giant chunks, this is another quadrant and probably BILLIONS of LIGHT YEARS away! In less than 1 year, Cooler's skull fragment with no "warp drive" or teleportation managed to travel a couple Billion light years distance! Even by the idiotic standards of DBZ, that is fucking preposterous!!! At the same time Cooler's blob attacks Namek, the Z fighters just happen to be on vacation there using a ship....even though it was an important plot point in the Future Saga that they had no idea where it was in the series and only Goku could travel there using "Instant Transmission", which locks onto a Ki signature and teleports to that Ki source. The Z fighters then fight against Cooler and his clones in order to save New Namek.
Goku and Vegeta fight against an army of Mecha-Cooler clones and the rest of the Z fighters all fight against lame cyclops robots. I will give this movie credit for being the only DBZ movie in which our heroes must fight a massive army instead of a single powerful opponent. That was actually a kind of neat idea. I also give it credit for including more of the other Z fighters and giving them a tad of action instead of JUST getting their asses kicked in 2 minutes. Unfortunately, we don't actually get to see the fight between the Cooler Army and Goku/Vegeta. I'm serious! The fucking movie fades to black and we see Goku and Vegeta tied up inside the Big Gete Star after presumably being beat up offscreen. Cooler attempts to drain their energy, but apparently they still have so much energy left that it overloads the computer's systems and causes the Gete Star to explode along with all the Coolers. That's really what happens! This is by far the STUPIDEST villain death in all of DBZ. It isn't satisfying, it is completely anti-climactic, and it wasn't even given any kind of foreshadowing or anything to make it acceptable.
Animation and music:
Like with Lord Slug, the animation and music are average here. They aren't terrible, but not notable either. The only interesting sequence of animation in this movie is Cooler using nano-machines to regenerate parts of his body after repeatedly getting blown apart. That...actually looked kind of awesome! Other than that, I don't really have any praise left.
Deciding which is worse between Lord Slug and Cooler's Return is a VERY difficult decision, but I think Cooler's Return is the SLIGHTLY better movie for a few reasons. Firstly, the movie at least had the concept of the Z warriors fighting a massive army of opponents, which DBZ honestly had never tried before this point and never really tried again until the new movie "Resurrection of F". Secondly, at least Cooler looked a lot...well...cooler than Lord Slug! Despite just being a watered down version of Freeza's character with no independent personality traits, quirks, or anything to set him apart besides an extra transformation, fans of DBZ actually LIKE Cooler. He kind of looks badass and gives us another member of Freeza's unusual race, which we learn VERY little about during the manga or anime. It is hinted in the anime filler that Freeza's race is the "Arcosians" that North Kai said gave the Saiyans their technology and ran the Planet Trade Organization. Although this has never been stated in the manga or confirmed by Akira Toriyama himself. Lord Slug on the other hand, is just a lame ripoff of King Piccolo that NO ONE thinks is badass and no one actually wants to learn more about his character. That is why Cooler got 2 different movies and Lord Slug only got 1. Of course Broli got 3 because he is BY FAR the most popular movie villain. Lastly, this was the first DBZ movie to take place away from Earth and set the stage for the vastly superior Movie 8. All previous DBZ movies used the same formula of: evil dude comes to Earth and Z warriors must kill him. This movie at least "sort of" broke the mold and allowed a TINY bit more creativity to go into DBZ movies, which ultimately allowed for the zany, off the wall fun of future movies like DBZ Movie 12: Fusion Reborn. Conclusion: This isn't a good movie by ANY stretch of the imagination, but it isn't quite as bad as Lord Slug. If you are a diehard DBZ completionist and feel the need to watch this movie, just relax and try not to think too hard!
This is again the same movie like the last movie Cooler's Revenge except with one exception. This is the first debut film of Vegeta in the countless movies of this franchise as well as taking place on
new planet Namek.
Now for the most part the action is really good but it does suffer from a rather ridiculous explanation on cooler's survival and why is it that cooler feels the need to take over planet namek is something that sounds so far-fetched to even begin with.
From the start of this movie you have apparently a planetary size star
known as the Big Gete star which somehow revived cooler from the sun
giving cooler a an entirely new form in a mechanised body even more powerful than before. All and all this was very stupidly written indeed.
Whats more cooler has gain the power of controlling a host of mechanical machinery as well as creating an absurd army amount of metallic clones of
himself like he is Ultron from the avengers or something, he has a body that is very durable upon powerful impact and can also use a lock on system, Goku's Instant transmission SOMEHOW even though we are not informed how that is even possible, He can repair his entire body from scratch from the big gete star system that detects any sign of damage on himself and he uses very fast artificial Regeneration like he is Tetsuo Shima from the anime Akira.
Yeah I think you get the point he is pretty much more ridiculously haxed than before! Not even both super saiyan goku and vegeta could match him.
Aside from that, we have other characters in the film joining goku and vegeta such as the usual kid gohan, krillin, piccolo but surprisingly also Yajirobe and Master Roshi who only offer the comedic moments but its nice to see master roshi as always but I definitely cannot stand that pig oolong for one second.
The animation was ok and music just wasn't really anything that good.
This movie I felt had a pretty rushed ending for the most part and the dumb thing is I dunno why I didn't mind it.
The only things I enjoyed were the fights and the fact that vegeta made his debut which is cool but all in all this film is just average like other films of the Dragon ball franchise I felt the weaker films were bio Broly, Lord Slug and curse of the blood rubies AAaahhHH
I cringe whenever I hear those names.
P.S I swear saying the Big Gete star almost sounds like I'm saying the spaghetti star which sounds weird to me for no reason.
This is actually one of the more decent movies in the Dragonball Z franchise. Yes, it follows the same old tired format; bad guy shows up and do bad stuff, Goku fights the bad guy to the end. Plus the story is shit. However, unlike the previous movie, this one focuses solely on the action and actually has a better plot. The writing is a bit more solid and this movie isn't a chore to watch at all.
The Return of Cooler is the sixth movie in the franchise, and is the direct sequel to Cooler's Revenge. I really like this one as it gets
to the point rather quickly, and most of the characters are used very well. First of all, there's none of the whole, "you have yet to see my true power" taking place as all of the main players go for the throat almost immediately. Goku goes Super Saiyan really quick against Meta-Cooler which delivers some really cool action scenes. At times, there's some really good face offs and imagination. The secondary cast; Piccolo, Gohan, and Krillin, aren't just bodies this time around for the lead baddie to decimate in record time. They battle Cooler's robotic guards in a cool action segment.
The plot is heavily pushed by the action until the climax, however this really isn't a bad thing at all. I also laughed at some of the comedy here, such as Krillin constantly being pummeled in comedic fashion. The 45 minute run time felt really short but in a good way though. I thought the animation was pretty good with some detailed action here and there, and very little of the reused cel approach that DBZ is well known for. I didn't have an issue with the character designs, and I dug Cooler's new look. The soundtrack is a pretty big issue if you come into this expecting the same from the last movie; but even ignoring the last movie, I feel the BGM is very weak, and it doesn't really help the action scenes.
Outside of this feature being completely linear, the problem I have with it is that it doesn't fit into the series continuity at all. There are plenty of elements here supporting that this story could have never taken place. Also, this is not a good place for newbies to start. At the very least, the first four seasons or so should be seen.
In closing, The Return of Cooler is a solid movie in the DBZ mythos. It will more than likely appeal to serious fans. Recommended only to those who are well rounded in the franchise.
Highs: Lots of action
Lows: Just another DBZ title for the most part, weak music score
I think Cooler said it best, when he described super saiyans as a "all show and no substance." Well... that's exactly, how I would describe both this movie, and this franchise, as a whole! Beneath the brightness and flashiness, with pretendous epicness, there's this sullen, sunken and hollow emptiness, that I for one, just can't seem to be able to fill... and for once, I'm not sorry because of it!
Let me get one thing perfectly straight! I do think, that Toriyama, is very intriguing atrist... with his stupid poses, singular face-motions, and character-styles, that'll all just blend in... but artist, nontherless! The namekians truly look
good, same with Friezas final form, and Cells... first form. What I don't think he is, is a storyteller, or even capable of comprehending even the most simplest human minds, emotions and motives. His characters are just like tools for him, with very little personality, or motives, which leads him telling them, what to do, instead of them telling him, what they want to do, thus engaging the characters to grow, and develope naturally, without force, and with actual subtlety. Forcing characters to change, or not change, for the sake of the plot, is not very talented writing, and what is given out of it, is just some pointlessness, thrown in the air, resembeling this ultimate mess, called DBZ. Characters are so blank and unindearing, that they're like a memes from themselves - little to no personality, nor motives, with stupid/non-existent/implossible development, and stories, that are just as much actual stories, than five rounds in a row, of Street Fighter arcade-game! The show had the same problem, and so does these movies, and more I see them, the more they start to look exactly the same, with same colors, and same taste... which is the taste, of wet cardboard, soaked in piss!
But, what about the actual movie, itself? Well, sadly - not really - I have to say, that this movie, in it's 40-minutes running-time, is just another padding-session, for fans, with lots of adrenaline-boners, actual boning, and finaly, the happy ending - why, I have no idea! Cooler is basically just our "poor mans choise" for Frieza, having even less of a character, personality, or motives, than his predecessor... who, by far, was just some coward, with sadistic tendencies, and gleeful racisim. Cooler isn't even that, and I really have to wonder, how come he wasn't immediately laught at, in his stupid meccha-form, with his stupid plan to brake some shit, with his stupid Spagetti star - I don't even care, what the actual name is, anymore! Cooler has really no other motivation for his doings, but a whiny, man-childish temper-tantrum against those, who slapped him in the wrist, but, even if he actually had any real motivations to beging with, it wouldn't have made this story any more bearable... because, it wasn't! The story was so stupid, thin, and unneeded, that this movie, felt just like one of those fanfics, writen by a 13-year-old boy, which does explain alot of this franchise, if you really think about it! Maybe Akira didn't want to flesh-out his character any more, than he absolutely had to, because he already knew, that there were a lot more talented writers out there, than him, and just decided to leave the actual brainwork, for the fanfic-sites! Seriously, when you stumble upon a poorly written fanfiction, that's still better, than the original work, there's something seriously wrong! One thing this fanfic still missed though - the dragonballs! Collect them, wish this mess to go away, and just... go away! Isn't really that hard, you guys! You do this shit all the time! What's a hold up, on this one?! And why oh why, did Goku and Vegeta find it so easy to team forces together in this movie, but not in Resurrection of F - makes no sence!
And speaking of Vegeta... what was his purpose, in this movie?! I know his one of the favourite fan-wanks of this franchise, but still... even stupidity has it's limits! More than that... what was a beef between Vegeta, and Frieza, anyway? They obviously didn't like eacother, because Frieza was a racist, and Vegeta prideful brick, but... why take it so personally? Vegeta didn't care, if his whole planet was destroyed, and race killed, when he was a child, and as an adult, he actively tried to kill every last survivor, of his kind, man or a child! In japanese dup, he never even once begged Goku to avenge his people, nor his father, and he really didn't seem to mind, if he really was only one standing, of his race. He was just pissed, because Frieza just was stronger, than him, and then, begged his not--yeat-victim, to finnish the job - lame! Later, he himself said, that he enjoyed killing, for the pleasure of it - like any good psychopath would - but then he just cries, how he was held in bondage, and being the only actual saiyan alive... after establishing, that he doesn't really need anyone. I know, the fans of this dick-wrench, are more than happy to defend him by saying, that he developed out of these... tendencies, but let me tell something lads... psychos don't just cure themselves - no one does! Both Vegeta, and his development, are both just as ludicrous, and implossible, as they can get, and it really sickens me to see, how forcefully, Toriyama, is making him to go through changes, that would never ever occur, in any other franchise! And suck that "Frieza the Slaveowner"- bullshit! Frieza gave both Vegeta, and the saiyans everything, those barbarians could ever ask for, without unneeded cruelty or violence - as far as I could see - and if by bondage, you mean like a father, who tells you to clean up your rooms, do your chores, and stay away from drugs, in order for you to keep killing and doing what the hell ever you please, then yes... truly, you are the one, with the deepest scars, Vegeta! Oh, all the tears of... not caring, one bit! Vegeta was, and always will be, in my books, just some spoiled, murderous and psychotic brat, and the very fact, that they're trying to paint him over, as a hero in this movie, truly makes me sick! That kick in the nutts by Cooler, was the very least, what he deserved... too bad, that Frieza was way too bro, to deliver the blow, himself!
Atleast, one thing is clear for me by now, after watching my fair share of these movies. Dragon Ball franchise knows, what its fans want from it. Lots of lights and color, but no substance - characters with two or three traits, no motivations, to stories nor plots, little to no brainpower behind any of it, and padding. Lots, and lots of padding. And, since it already knows, what to give to it's audience, it's not trying to evolve, or develope, like any other franchise would atleast try to do, and same goes to this movie! It knows it's fans, and celebrates the fact, that it doesn't even have to try to be anything else, but what its fans expect it to be, thus just feeding that stupid man-child inside of them. While not bad, per say, it also doesn't offer anything, in return - no thought, no morals, no lessons, no consept of actions=consequense, and no developtment, both from its characters, or its stories. Hardly any of these movies, nor this franchise, has any real, or actual conflicts, and what very little there is, the only working solution seems to be... hitting it harder. Like... really hard. Like your trying to pop a boner, in a middle of the dentist, pulling out your teeth. And, since it's so obviously empty, pointless and lacking any real substance, it's fans try to make it feel more grand, and meaningful, than it actually is, and that's the real problem - pointing out meaning and substance, where there is non, is just as bad, like those spin-off cartoons of Titanic... your soul knows the truth! It's not even trying to challenge its fans, by giving them any actual characters, morals, stories or conflicts, because it already knows, it doensn't have to, and to me, that's never a good sign, for a good movie, neither a franchise!
All in all, this movie was pointless, and so is this franchise, for not offering us nothing more, but some mindless, unentertaining junk, that even a 5-year-old would sneer at! Don't see this movie. It's not worth it... even if you are a fan. It's mercifully short, but that's about it. It holds every single flaw, and weak point, like this whole franchise does, and if youre not a child, or someone, who's already seen some actually good anime, you really shouldn't bee enyoing this one, either.