Nisemonogatari

WAIT. Read. I didn't just unilaterally give Nisemonogatari a 1 because I didn't like the show and I'm thoughtless and spiteful like that. I want to start this review out with a bit of a preface. I've never written a review of something that I've given a 1 before, and that's because I usually don't finish watching them. Why would I? If something is terrible, I turn it off. However, Nisemonogatari is completely unlike any of the other shows I would usually give 1s, and is also the sequel to Bakemonogatari, a show that I am very enthusiastic about. I want to make that very ... clear first: this is not an attack on the Monogatari series as a whole, but merely a single part of it. A part of it I very much feel it could have done without.

So why did I give Nisemonogatari a 1? Is it because it has absolutely no merits, a void of any sort of intelligence or engagement? No. Not at all. Nise is actually an incredibly smart show, and there were aspects of it that I appreciated immensely. The backgrounds are stunning, the references are great, the humor is oftentimes on-point and a good portion of the dialogue is insightful and meaningful. There were several episodes (3 in total) that I actually enjoyed from start to finish. The reason I gave Nisemonogatari a 1 is that it aptly fits my description of a 1: It negatively impacted me as an individual and I feel as though it is an unhealthy, detracting experience for people in general. It promotes toxic ideals and actively helps to make the world a worse place.

If you aren't aware already, Nisemonogatari is famous for its fanservice. The entire Monogatari series is, actually, but I wouldn't even call it fanservice in the rest of the series. In Bakemonogatari, for instance, the camera is used effectively as a lense for the protagonist Araragi to show what he is focused on. When he is having lewd thoughts about a person, it will portray them sexually. This is only the case, however, when it actually fits with what is going through his head, and regardless of how Araragi may VIEW various characters, this doesn't change what actually HAPPENS. This is because he is a human not a god and regardless of what his fantasies may be the world is not going to conform around them. Instead, he is often chastised for his perverse thoughts and it's something he eventually has to deal with.

In Nisemonogatari, this changes. Araragi suddenly becomes the focal point of the world, with every straight girl inevitably seeking to erotically seduce him and even the lesbian character wants to tear off his clothes and roll around naked with him. Even if there is no spontaneous sexual tension between Araragi and a character, the show still devises plenty of ways to put them in absurd compromising positions with each other, liking having Hanekawa roll around on his bed or Shinobu take a bath with him. Now I've heard plenty an educated argument for Nisemonogatari, claiming that it actually hates fanservice and is demonstrating the incredible potential of the camera to portray a character's intentions or emotions, and I would agree that the directing work is masterful. There are two scenes; one towards the beginning and one towards the end of the series in which Araragi's sister receives a crotch-shot. The first one is completely un-sexual, demonstrating the lack of tension in their relationship, while the last one is the exact opposite, showing how that has changed. It's extremely well-done. However, that doesn't change the fact that it's just an intelligent way of fan-pandering. This argument can be applied to nearly all of Nisemonogatari: yes, Nise hates fan service; or rather, Nise hates the uncreative and unenlightened way in which most fan service is done. It wants to demonstrate how it can be done more effectively, setting up moments of situational and emotional softcore porn as opposed to just making some tits & ass wobble. It's extremely good at it, too: if your evaluation of a show is ambition vs. result, than Nise is a roaring success. However, it's not the execution for which I condemn Nise, its for what its goals are and therefore what its effect on its audience is.

Fanservice is annoying. At least, that's how I feel. But fanservice alone, ironic or no, is not enough for me to write off a show. Sure it can get irritating at times and it's a little insulting, but I don't consider it normally capable of single-handedly sabotaging a show. It's usually the case that shows that rely on fanservice to entertain their audience do so because they don't hold a great deal of respect for themselves in the first place or because they don't feel as though they have anything especially original to do or say, causing them to fall back on basic, shallow means of engaging their viewers. This isn't always the case, though: Code Geass and Haruhi Suzumiya stand out as examples to the contrary. Nise's not like that though: it takes pride in its ability to absorb its viewers in its carefully-crafted pandering, and that makes it all the more poisonous.

There are three major reasons why I abhor Nisemonogatari. They are as follows.

1. The fan-service actively detracts from, and oftentimes takes the place of the plot and characters. The show constantly goes out of its way to create appealing situations, turning its characters from the previously multi-dimensional beings that they were into absurd blobs of either hormones or obliviousness. Characters are made conveniently unaware of their situation to allow other characters to up their advances, taking the believability out of them. Entire episodes are spent on contrived erotic situations that devour any meaningful character interactions and replace them with characters making excuses to the audience to touch each other and calling it development. The actual story is condensed to the ends of arcs, becoming rushed and crammed into single episodes of extremely belated exposition rammed back-to-back with resolutions. This makes the show itself far more simple than it could have been, substituting the difficult truths of Bakemonogatari for childish moral taglines and replacing the meaningful personal revelations that were a result of conflict that was internal with physical villains who are either stupidly irredeemable or blatantly hypocritical. This is a very steep and very sickening price to pay for the constant fan-service.

2. Nisemonogatari is part of the Monogatari series. As a stand-alone, it could just be written off or dropped. However, as is, Nise is an active part of a pretty incredible series, one that it actively detracts from. It would be one thing if it were merely boring or slow, but it's more than that. No one's character motivations are consistent: Hitagi, who used to be over-protective and possessive of Araragi, suddenly decides instead that she's fine with him sleeping with whoever he wants as long as he loves her. Suruga, who used to be many things: athletic, energetic, envious, self-loathing; becomes defined exclusively by the trait "she is horny". Hanegawa, who was previously sharp with Araragi for being perverse despite her feelings for him, starts cracking jokes about him feeling her up. Araragi himself is the worst offender. While initially he was characterized as selfless to a fault, self-aware, and endearingly thoughtful of people's feelings, he's now decided to be conveniently oblivious and remorseless as he tramples on whoever-the-fucks emotions to cop a feel whenever possible. What once were entirely believable fantasies have manifested themselves in far-less believable actions. It's a lot easier to control what we do than what we think, and Araragi has aptly demonstrated an incredible willpower many a time. That he would so casually revert to this without any sort of triggering event or internal conflict is entirely unbelievable. All of this is a result of the show warping its characters to create the erotic situations it wants to, and it bends everything too far. Nisemonogatari breaks the illusion of the Monogatari world. Its inconsistencies, indulgent depravity and unfortunate placing in the middle of the series cause it to do hefty and irrevocable damage to the series as a whole. With a series as generally impressive as Monogatari, this is a real tragedy.

3. This is the big one. So far, I've described why I believe the show is bad, but internal sabotage and series sabotage are not enough to warrant a series a 1. What makes Nise so irredeemable is the impact is has on society's perception of sexuality. There is already enough of a problem with media portraying sex as very different than it actually is, glorifying it, creating false expectations of what it is supposed to be like, and taking the messiness and humanity out of it. This is actively damaging to impressionable youths and has a negative impact on social behavior and body image. Nise actively promotes these portrayals, portraying characters as young as 14 in erotic situations in ways that are meant to, as obvious by the expert camerawork, glorify it. This creates a false impression of what sex is like and pushes people to feel as though this sort of behavior is what is expected of them. If they aren't indulging in it too, they're missing out. Look how fucking hot it is, right? This is not to mention the fact that she show uses incest and a vampire trapped in an 8-year-old's body to draw out the appeal of a 'forbidden love' in its viewers. The worst part of all this is the way that Araragi is portrayed: not as the sleazy womanizer that he is, but as a gallant hero who all men should aspire to be like. He's shown as a kind, protective, morally-sound guy who gets to fool around with lots of girls as a result because he's earned all of their affections. In addition to this, unlike similar shows Nise has a very intellectual and mellow vibe to it that makes it much easier to justify enjoying. It's not in-your-face trashy. If you're looking for ways to make entitled monsters out of lonely and insecure young boys, then you've found a pretty sound bet in Araragi.

Inevitably, the show's final flaw is that it never addresses any of its choices. For a season that's essentially about fanservice, it sure never tries to make any contrasting points about why perhaps this kind of media and the ideas that it fosters are unhealthy. No, right up to the end Nisemonogatari is detrimental to itself, detrimental to the Monogatari series, and detrimental to society as a whole. For all of its gorgeous art and witty conversation, I can't think of anything I've actually finished that has been more deserving of a score of 1.

Nisemonogatari is the most disappointing thing since Barack Obama.

I mean what the hell was that, this wasn’t a sequel, for the most part it felt like a really long OVA that you’d get for buying a special edition of Bakemonogatari, because nothing happens in this series at all, except we are introduced to Araragis sisters but that’s all, there is virtually no character development for the sisters at all in a series that is almost entirely about characters. ... Now Bakemonogatari was good, i didn't love it or anything but for the most part i enjoyed it, the visuals were a pleasure to watch, the music was good, the dialogue was sharp as a blade and the characters were mostly interesting because it was a pleasure to see them interact with each other and see what happens. But if you’ll recall Bakemonogatari also had something that called a story, you know things happen in it, characters are introduced and develop and grow, problems arise and our characters try overcoming them and maybe learning something along the way you know shit like that. But Nisemonogatari has nothing, the characters are boring cardboard cut outs and the most shocking thing of all is that nothing happens in this series at all unless you include implied incest as something but if you do then you need take your brain medicine and get back in your toll booth.

Okay so let’s get into this shit and start with what’s wrong with the story, as if I even need to say it because it so obvious Ray Charles could see it, and he doesn’t even know anything about anime. Okay so I’ll be brief there is no story, it’s just a bunch of stuff that happens to give us an excuse to see girls in compromising situations and yes I know Bakemonogatari is a harem but we still need something or else we don’t care about the characters and it gets boring. And thats what Nisemonogatari was, boring, uneventful and ultimately pointless you could watch the episodes in any order and it wouldn’t make a lick of difference because there’s no story. The whole series just comes off a sequence of colourful crisp images played in a sequence to trick people into thinking there watching an anime when in fact they’re just being scammed. That’s right I said Nisemonogatari is just a big scam to trick idiots who liked Bakemonogatari into thinking there watching the same thing when in fact they be better off watching a strobe light while listen to music from Bakemonogatari because that’s basically what this was. I mean I know Bakemonogatari was no Citizen Kane but it was fun to watch, the show struck a great balance between comedy, fan service characters and story and even threw in some nice visuals and music to boot while Nisemonogatari is like its retarded little brother which fucked up everything from pacing to character development to my brain, ahhh it hurts, make it stop!

Anyway, another glaring problem with this faecal matter was the characters, much of the original characters return but they feel like shadows of their former selves and don’t do anything to the point where I wonder if the people who made Nisemonogatari even watched Bakemonogatari or have any idea of what made it good. They come off as cardboard cut-outs just there to further the illusion that what we`re watching is a sequel to Bakemonogatari and not crap. So anyway the whole point of this I think was to introduce us to Araragi`s sisters and then have something involving them happen or whatever but does that happen…… no! Jack shit happens except scene after scene after scene of Karen and whatever the other sister was called in provocative positions and some half assed plot about some guy who’s doing something to people at their school but it goes nowhere and the bad guy just leaves when confronted. Jesus Christ are they trying to bore the audience to death, I think the people that made this thought that as long as it looked like Bakemonogatari then they put whatever the hell they wanted into it and get away because idiots can’t tell when their being scammed.

So anyway there’s about a million other things wrong with this series but I’ve wasted enough of my time on this shit, when you’re 147 years old like I am you can’t waste your time so, you know, watch it, don’t watch, I don’t really give a flying fuck but if you’ve got like cancer or something that’s like killing or something then you then you probably shouldn’t watch this because it sucks balls and is just a big time wasting scam.

Monogatari series has been always dependent on pointless fanservice. This season is the worst offender. Let us first eliminate the outnumbered ones, the positives. Kaiki Deshuu is an interesting character. His scenes are the only ones that I enjoyed throughout the whole season. Storytelling could also be unique SOMETIMES. The background music is also nice. That is it.

Now for the negatives. The fanservice. The godawful fanservice. Every girl got their own episode of fanservice with Araragi even his f*cking sisters. How low can an author get? The worst episode in this series (probably one of the worst anime episodes) is the "toothbrush" episode. Can't ... dive into spoilers but it is basically incest sh*t. It is on par with SAO's. The point of this season is to sexualize every character Araragi met. The story is just a distraction. Yes, that is how bad this anime is. Story is not the priority because when they will actually try to progress the "story", they will interrupt it with another retarded fanservice. At least the previous seasons, has some story despite being subpar-at-best. This is just fanservice, moe trash BS.

TL;DR: Story is just a distraction, female characters' purpose are just to be sexualized and Araragi's purpose is to be the sexualizer. Kaiki Deshuu is its saving grace but he can't even lift the show to a 2/10 because it is so trash.

The first season that was Bakemonogatari is my #5 anime of all time.

How does the follow-up Nisemonogatari rate so poorly?

Fan service can be good in moderation. I'm one of the types that understands its appeal but wow the amount of excessive, over the top fan service went way overboard here. What is known as the "toothbrush" scene is a clear example of getting really excessive with the fan service.

This could have been due to covering up the fact that the first arc spanned 7 of the 11 episodes. The first arc went at a snails pace compared to the whole Bakemonogatari. Half of those episodes ... felt like filler.

The character development of almost all the characters felt stagnant compared to Bakemonogatari. Many of the females only existed for fan service compared to Bakemonogatari, when there was a solid balance between character development and fan service. Some of the characters also suddenly change their personality to either fit fan service or to suddenly fit the plot.

The only new characters which are the main character's sisters aren't nearly as polished as many of the characters in the original. The season focuses on them and it doesn't have nearly as much depth. Somehow the dialogue feels shallow, especially compared to Bakemonogatari.

The art is above average but actually not up to full SHAFT standards. It doesn't have the magical touch that Bakemonogatari has.

Some highlights that give it some points:
Hitagi is a signature yandere as the opening scene proves this.
Some scenes gave that signature SHAFT excitement

Those two items bring it up to 4.

The second season, Nisemonogatari, is one that I personally enjoyed a bit more than the first, because it’s notably shorter and the slapstick bits are this time around done by the sisters of the main character instead of his girlfriend, thus I find those bits more believable and amusing, than the kind of abusive relationship from the previous series.

Sadly, leaving my own experience aside, as a whole, it was a way worse season than the previous one. Not in terms of animation though, which was in fact way better, since this one came out some years later and had a much more polished artwork, ... while still keeping all the crazy and artsy visuals, too bad this one was even more static than Bakemonogatari, as it didn’t have any similar action bits.

The one aspect that remained exactly the same was the audio, as this sequel retains the same level in every aspect, from voice acting to sound effects to music. I loved Karen’s opening, Marshmallow Justice, for its energy and for not being the typical jpop song, but it is still nothing special and not that different either. Besides that, any other opening and the ending left as indifferent as the many from Bakemonogatari.

What makes Nisemonogatari way worse than the previous season was that it had all of the negatives in more obvious ways, with none of the positives besides the improved visuals. There are only two arcs this time around, and although that could have been good to have a more consistent quality among them than the series before this one, that wasn’t the case, as they were both even more empty of content, and with even more meandering.

There is lots of talking and none of it feel substantial, there are lots of characters appearing and none of them feel like they add anything to the whole, they even act a bit differently than before and even have a bit different dynamic with each other, to the point you’ll have to guess that something happened to them out of screen or something. The main issue is supposed to revolve around the Araragi sisters but they feel mostly secondary to what is not happening and being discussed, they feel like side characters even in their own season, and that’s something that will be said out loud as a joke in the Second Season.

Other than that, the setting still feels unaware of anything that is not happening, as the locations are even more limited than what was previously shown, and as a whole everything still feels inconsequential to anyone that isn’t the main characters, or that’s what I would say if the city didn’t look even emptier as it did before.

Plus, this anime has all the issues from the previous ones, all the perversions, this time with way younger looking characters, and on top of that it now added incestuous vibes and complexes that would be confirmed in Second Season. The infamous toothbrush scene is one of my most disgusting and hated of all time, why couldn’t it just be wholesome slapstick like in the beginning?

The only positive I’m willing to give to this season is that, just like the one before it, it anticipates future characters and events, this time with the apparition of other exorcists said to be as powerful and knowledgeable or even more than Meme Oshino, in the form of Kaiki Deishuu and Yozuru Kagenui, but other than that, it was a disaster of a season, and if not for the next one and the manga, it would have made me drop the franchise for good, despite my own personal preference above Bakemonogatari for its early comedy and for not being as bombastic in its directing.

I cannot get over the lewd scenes. Karen and Koyomi in episode 8 just hurts my brain so much. Like WHY. WHY. The whole basis of monogatari series is the harem of Koyomi, and it is unrestrained, including an elementary school girl and Koyomi's sister. The fanservices really destroys the whole plot.

The animation is the only thing carrying the show. Literally. I look at comments of the episodes, and it is full of people who simply watch for the fanservice. Episode 8 apparently has "THE toothbrush scene", something someone like myself is unaware of because I do not watch anime for the hint of ... hentai in them. Are 600 thousand viewers really made up of people who watch for these ludicrous scenes? Is this why the show is enjoyable?

No matter how witty some lines are, how great the animation and directing are, some too many scenes just make my brain melt and the cringe and obnoxious feelings are too strong to carry on. What makes it unbearable is how these scenes destroy the whole thing, and the thought that so many people gave a high rating to the show despite all this is just way way way way wayy beyond me.

mann i wish there was a zero on mal. wtf the dude is the most white-knight ever... he's not human. how tf he can talk to all the bitches who did him so harm as if nothing happened ? what a shit-show made for incels.
The main girl is like "i have trauma and you know what, i'll go around poking staplers in people's mouths" Her personality is so shit, like in the beginning when there was no factor determining anything towards Araragi she's so hostile. And I see no reason to act this way because she was assaulted. Like yeah she's broken but why harm ... others ? That's the thing i hate most about this show, because that scene was so that the main girl had no favouring for the main character. She doesn't deserve a normal life