| In need of further assistance with this as I've had to block and isolate myself completely from my family (again). And in doing so it causes me great anxiety for a multitude of reasons. How do you cope? Anime can only do so much for me before I become self destructive. <3 Good luck and I hope you all have a wonderful day! <3 |
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| I had me some severe anxiety last year over every little thing so I do understand. What changed that was me getting better medications that helped me in better ways. I dunno how useful this is going to be but good luck and try your best. You're doing great already just keep it up. |
  ♡ Harder Daddy ♡ |
| You can try watching some Jordan Peterson. |
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| Haven't seen you around in months. Does that mean that things were going okay for you until just now? Most of your threads and posts are to do with this sort of thing. I know that some things can help to reduce anxiety and some things can cause anxiety. Focus on what you can do rather than what you can't do. Drink water, eat well, sleep well, exercise, keep your brain engaged in healthy / productive / competitive activities. If anime is too passive you might need something a bit more hands on. |
| Listening to good music might help. |
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Hey_Taka-tin_Hey said: Because of the YT algorithm, they think all he's about is promoting some tradional views on gender and he is also quite defensive of the average man in society. Especially the last one makes some people mad uncomfortable which is just sad. So that attracted an audience of extremists and people use that to drive him in a corner. Which he couldn't really do to much about. But when you look further he is genuinely a good person who wants people who suffer from depression for whatever reason to become better, to become competent and live a healthy life. And he does not even really believe in God he just thinks different religions have valuable teachings about morality. I don't. I tackle it head on. All those years when I attempted to cope, were the years when I inevitably started considering "ending it" all. The more I retreated into my safe space, the more I obsessed about lost time, hurt feelings and disappointment. It was cumulatively bad. Kaasfondue said: You can try watching some Jordan Peterson. Apparently no one likes that guy, for whatever political reasons are popular this month (who knew), but I will say this: it's pretty damn obvious that dude has treated multiple people who, like me, suffer from social phobia. Most of the stuff he says is eerily similar to what I've heard from some of the best therapists I've ever paid for. I genuinely advise people to cast their political and religious beliefs aside for a minute, and actually listen to him as a psychologist. He's done a lot of research and practice so he knows what he's talking about. A lot of it is common sense and things you already know deep down but he brings in it a way that makes people do more introspection and apply new things to their lives. But like everything in life you can only help yourself, you make the decisions. I truly believe therapy is not needed when it comes to depression and social anxiety. All you need is a few people around you who believe and trust in you, and the better it goes the more fulfilled you will feel as you can give that love and support back. A lot of people sense of self-worth is flawed these days they look at the wrong things and don't understand what's best for them to prioritize. |
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| @OP, I don't say this to question or condemn you for isolating yourself from your family, as I recognize that can be an important and necessary step for improving one's situation, but I would add that totally isolating yourself is extremely bad for your mental health. I say this as someone who is guilty of doing it myself. Definitely try to get into contact with people you can talk to and/or spend time with if possible, even if it's a therapist of some kind. Things like binge watching anime and playing videogames (which I also indulge in heavily when I'm feeling anxious) cannot help you sort out your problems, and the longer you don't sort things out the worse they tend to get. Your mind is gnawing at itself in the background and the minute the anime episode ends, the anxiety can suddenly wash over you worse than ever when you are forced to think about what's going on in your life, and you start thinking it's too late to fix things, while it's only getting later and later. Really, it's never actually too late to start figuring things out, but you have to take those steps. ___________________________________________________ Hey_Taka-tin_Hey said: Kaasfondue said: You can try watching some Jordan Peterson. Apparently no one likes that guy, for whatever political reasons are popular this month (who knew), but I will say this: it's pretty damn obvious that dude has treated multiple people who, like me, suffer from social phobia. Most of the stuff he says is eerily similar to what I've heard from some of the best therapists I've ever paid for. I genuinely advise people to cast their political and religious beliefs aside for a minute, and actually listen to him as a psychologist. I watched his debate with Zizek, and I think it's pretty obvious that in his role as a therapist he is tremendously successful. The thing is, the accepted practices in therapy, which undoubtedly DO work for people on an individual level and help them improve their lives, are themselves subject to political scrutiny, because it takes the focus off of the social conditions which have caused a tremendous INCREASE in depressive/anxiety disorders in the past decades, and instead places the control but also the blame on the back of the individual. Sometimes (often, actually), people have good reasons for their mental debilitation. Add on top of that the fact that Peterson actually TRIES to make political commentary (i.e. about things like marxism and "postmodernism," which he doesn't seem to have very clear or informed ideas about), and that's why, I think, he doesn't get a lot of respect from leftist political commentators. He's also a Jungian (I think?) which is just funny/weird to a lot of psychoanalysts since they don't consider his ideas to have practical applications and try to reduce them to mysticism, though I personally find Jung interesting, whether he's useful or not. But yeah I watched some Cuck Philosophy vids railing on JP on Youtube, and then was actually quite pleasantly surprised at how generally reasonable and decent JP seemed as a person, even if I personally wouldn't go out of my way to hear too much of what he has to say. As a leftist myself, just going off of that debate mostly, I think he is actually a pretty admirable and smart guy. He should just stick to what he knows, or at least sort out some of his mis/preconceptions before he talks about bodies of thought that the people he makes into his opponents take quite seriously. |
Hey_Taka-tin_Hey said: Apparently no one likes that guy, for whatever political reasons are popular this month (who knew), but I will say this: it's pretty damn obvious that dude has treated multiple people who, like me, suffer from social phobia. Most of the stuff he says is eerily similar to what I've heard from some of the best therapists I've ever paid for. I genuinely advise people to cast their political and religious beliefs aside for a minute, and actually listen to him as a psychologist. I think many people, even on the liberal side, think his psychology stuff is generally pretty alright. He has certainly helped a lot of young straight men in the kind of emptiness they face in contemporary society. But the problem that a lot of people have is when he oversteps that boundary to then act like an authority on other subjects clearly outside his field, and to dress his standard tradcon takes with enough word salad to the point where it doesn't feel as outrageous since you forgot the start of the sentence by the time it came to end. As long as you know what to take and what to leave, hardly anyone outside of extremist twitter circles will give you shit for watching and seeking guidance from JP. OT: I do know that working on stuff, whatever it may be, is a good way to alleviate stress and regain some semblance of tranquility in your state of mind. Especially if it's something you feel strongly about, or want to get better at. I don't mean like watching media, but something more demanding but rewarding, such as learning a foreign language, researching a subject, reading and really absorbing a philosophy book etc. The stuff that stay with you for long. |
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Hey_Taka-tin_Hey said: Auron_ said: I think many people, even on the liberal side, think his psychology stuff is generally pretty alright. He has certainly helped a lot of young straight men in the kind of emptiness they face in contemporary society. Not just straight men, I'm sure. I mean... I've been openly bisexual for a pretty long time... I mean, obviously you can be a disabled black transgender woman and still get something about ways to gain discipline from of one of the lectures, but I was talking in generalities. The way in which he tries to reclaim traditional idea of masculinity and disagreeing with the common notion that fostering that may be destructive, as well as critiquing certain aspects of contemporary feminism are things that resonate with straight men in particular. I'm not making any value judgement when I say this, but simply making an observation. If we were to poll JP fans and compare to general population, proportion-wise, queer men would be underrepresented. |
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Kaasfondue said: Genuinely a good guy that people are too quick to judge. He knows how to keep a cool head in every situation. He isn't afraid to be honest when honesty is needed.You can try watching some Jordan Peterson. |
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| @Hey_Taka-tin_Hey I experienced the same thing. Always had issues with shyness and blushing but in college I developed a full-blown phobia. I created what I believe is the absolute worst because it turned into a physical problem, my face would get repeatedly covered in sweat. A cycle of bad thought patterns of being scared you're going to blush/sweat so much that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Happened on the first day and was immediately overwhelmed with negative thoughts. You start thinking about how you could've worked on these issues when they were small and laughable in comparison to what you have now. You understand what it is and what caused it but just don't accept and don't want to confront it. Avoid "danger" places as much as you can, procastinate and don't take a step forward, isolate and hide it from everyone, cope with bullshit, etc. I started spending copious amounts on weed as it eliminates any feelings of anxiety or at least makes it incredibly easy to suppress. But the underlying thoughts of feeling weak as shit don't go away. You almost never feel happiness as it's in your head 24/7 unless you're absolutely of the roof and immersed in something else. My favourite "lesson" till this day is that of paying attention. It's the easiest task you can give yourself and with great immediate effect. It's how your eyes are how you interpret the world. Anxiety isn't in front of you, you're looking inwards. It's literally why socially anxious people tend to have weak postures, their eyes see danger and they internalize that and make themselves disappear. Don't just look around, that's important, actually think about what you're really seeing. |
KaasfondueMay 13, 2021 2:17 PM
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| Sounds like experiential avoidance. Avoiding what bothers you just makes you fear it more. Nothing's that bad. What're you scared of, someone thinking you're goofy or a no-goodnik? The thoughts of others don't have a psychic force that makes you feel bad. You're making yourself feel bad by imagining things too obsessively, likely. |
| There's only two ways: by exposing yourself to what makes you anxious and eventually finding ways to deal with it, and by changing your mindset. Usually you'll need other people's input to change your mindset. It could be a friend or relative reassuring you that you did well in a meeting, or it could be learning about behavioral psychology. Whatever gives you a perspective and ideas on how to act and perceive situations. |
| I get enough sleep, I rest, I watch light-hearted animes to ease my anxiety. |
 In this world shrouded in darkness, I learned there was someone who’d been struggling along with me. That alone is enough.  |
| anxiety is something you have to work through slowly with exposure Anxiety is something you have to medicate |
| With anxiety and depression, your first instinct is to avoid dealing with it, and isolate yourself more. This then creates a positive feedback loop (contrary to the word positive, it's anything but) which reinforces avoidance and isolation, which further increases your anxiety and depression. There is ton of research on the two illnesses, and perhaps the most straight-forward way to tackle it is a combination of medication and therapy. When you're anxious and/or depressed for a long time, your brain undergo changes as well, so this is where medication can help. Therapy can come in all sort of form. It doesn't have to be you talking to a therapist one on one. It can be a group session with other people who have overcome these issues. It could even be watching professional therapists educate you on what you can do. But I find generally, you need someone to tell you straight up what you need to do. Even something like the Internet, it's much easier to avoid doing what a random stranger told you to do in words than it is to have someone tell you face to face, that this is what you need to do, or someone face to face to listen to you, and the issues you face everyday. So I would probably start on doing some basic research on what services are available around your area. If you're in school, then there's probably therapists and counsellors that offer services for free. If you aren't, a quick search for therapists around your geographical area can probably find some as well. I mean, you can also watch some youtube videos like people have suggested here, but I think you need external influence as well. Since videos tend to be general, and they have to be, because they know nothing about you. It really depends on how long you've had it as well. |
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