| So today, I went to dinner with a girl who is part of the online community I frequently partake in. We have a few things in common, so I thought that I could be friends with her, right? After all, I've met other girls from this community in person and I got along with them -- the conversations flowed great, we laughed, we exchanged stories. But this girl appeared uninterested in me as soon as we met in person. I get that it's just her personality, but I felt awkward right from the start. It seems like she doesn't know how to make another person feel comfortable, her smiles and laughter were sparse, and she barely made any eye contact even though I was consistently making eye contact with her just like you would in a normal conversation. Maybe it really was just our lack of chemistry, but I feel like she just doesn't know how to communicate with people. It's weird because she seems to have a lot of friends, but when I tried bridging a connection with her, she can't seem to make that connection with me, and when she tried to connect with me by asking questions, after I give her an answer, the conversation still didn't flow very well. I feel like I can make some sort of connection with most people, but when the other person appears uninterested, I just shut down. I can get along with other girls from this community, but now I'm starting to feel insecure that maybe it IS me who lacks the ability to communicate and it makes me apprehensive in meeting other girls. I shouldn't generalize though because most of the girls I met liked me, but this meeting bothers me. Have you ever had something similar happen to you? |
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| I don't know if it's the same, but I suppose my whole life is like that ~ I'm basically like that girl. Online I can sometimes try to hold a conversation, but at the end of the day, in real life or online, I'm useless. I have found some people online that I'm "interested" in and we get a long, but sooner or later, I either get scared or run out of things to talk about For me it's not usually a lack of interest, I am just really shit at holding a conversations I'm quite anti-social now that I think about it Whenever I talk to some one face-to-face I can't look them in the eyes ~ Usually because I feel intimated by them (even if they're nice) because I'm short and everyone else is tall D; |
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| Doesn't sound like it's lack of chemistry, it's probably just she's not used to meeting up with people and shes more socially awkward and not good at making a conversation go. I havent had this problem when I met up with someone before. I was quiet a lot but we hugged and sat close to eachother and shed smile at me and id smile back seeing her smile. We did not talk a whole lot but we still did talk to eachother and enjoyed seeing eachother. |
| Nice parody thread Claire OT: Sometimes you just don't click with certain people, sharing similar hobbies and interests isn't always enough to become friends. |
 I love Christine "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness." - Henry David Thoreau |
_Potato_Senpai said: I don't know if it's the same, but I suppose my whole life is like that ~ I'm basically like that girl. Online I can sometimes try to hold a conversation, but at the end of the day, in real life or online, I'm useless. I have found some people online that I'm "interested" in and we get a long, but sooner or later, I either get scared or run out of things to talk about For me it's not usually a lack of interest, I am just really shit at holding a conversations I'm quite anti-social now that I think about it Whenever I talk to some one face-to-face I can't look them in the eyes ~ Usually because I feel intimated by them (even if they're nice) because I'm short and everyone else is tall D; Hm, well yes, this girl can hold a convo with me online, but the thing is that she has a lot of friends though? And even if I meet someone who's shit at holding conversations, at least I can keep the conversation going and I can get them to open up as long as they don't give the impression that they lack interest in me. Also, girl, it's totally fine to make eye contact with someone. Who cares if most people are taller than you. I mean if Napoleon can become an emperor, then you certainly don't have any reason to feel intimidated by anyone (unless they're super hot). x) |
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| maybe she had something else she really wanted to do, you probably should figure it was her own problem, cause normally there's no reason not to just chill |
| I CELEBRATE myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you. |
ThrashMatto said: Nice parody thread Claire OT: Sometimes you just don't click with certain people, sharing similar hobbies and interests isn't always enough to become friends. I also think that if the other person doesn't take a genuine interest in you as a person, if they don't think you might be somewhat interesting, any attempts on your part to connect will be in vain. traed said: Doesn't sound like it's lack of chemistry, it's probably just she's not used to meeting up with people and shes more socially awkward and not good at making a conversation go. I havent had this problem when I met up with someone before. I was quiet a lot but we hugged and sat close to eachother and shed smile at me and id smile back seeing her smile. We did not talk a whole lot but we still did talk to eachother and enjoyed seeing eachother. This particular girl is attractive and regularly meets up with other attractive girls (cough, me). Right? It is possible to make a connection with most people -- even you can testify to it. You and your new acquaintance might share quiet moments, but it's not awkward per se because you're interested in them somewhat. |
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Claire said: _Potato_Senpai said: I don't know if it's the same, but I suppose my whole life is like that ~ I'm basically like that girl. Online I can sometimes try to hold a conversation, but at the end of the day, in real life or online, I'm useless. I have found some people online that I'm "interested" in and we get a long, but sooner or later, I either get scared or run out of things to talk about For me it's not usually a lack of interest, I am just really shit at holding a conversations I'm quite anti-social now that I think about it Whenever I talk to some one face-to-face I can't look them in the eyes ~ Usually because I feel intimated by them (even if they're nice) because I'm short and everyone else is tall D; Hm, well yes, this girl can hold a convo with me online, but the thing is that she has a lot of friends though? And even if I meet someone who's shit at holding conversations, at least I can keep the conversation going and I can get them to open up as long as they don't give the impression that they lack interest in me. Also, girl, it's totally fine to make eye contact with someone. Who cares if most people are taller than you. I mean if Napoleon can become an emperor, then you certainly don't have any reason to feel intimidated by anyone (unless they're super hot). x) Maybe she was just having a bad day or something? Quite a lot of people think I have a lot friends, but I barley have any, I think it's just how you "present" yourself online and in real life. I get a lot of attractive tall guys coming into work all the time ~ I get quite intimidated lmao |
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_Potato_Senpai said: Claire said: Hm, well yes, this girl can hold a convo with me online, but the thing is that she has a lot of friends though? And even if I meet someone who's shit at holding conversations, at least I can keep the conversation going and I can get them to open up as long as they don't give the impression that they lack interest in me. Also, girl, it's totally fine to make eye contact with someone. Who cares if most people are taller than you. I mean if Napoleon can become an emperor, then you certainly don't have any reason to feel intimidated by anyone (unless they're super hot). x) Maybe she was just having a bad day or something? Quite a lot of people think I have a lot friends, but I barley have any, I think it's just how you "present" yourself online and in real life. I get a lot of attractive tall guys coming into work all the time ~ I get quite intimidated lmao Hmmm, dunno. Personally, I was having a bad day, so maybe that factored into it too. And lmao where do you work, it sounds like heaven ;) |
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Claire said: _Potato_Senpai said: Maybe she was just having a bad day or something? Quite a lot of people think I have a lot friends, but I barley have any, I think it's just how you "present" yourself online and in real life. I get a lot of attractive tall guys coming into work all the time ~ I get quite intimidated lmao Hmmm, dunno. Personally, I was having a bad day, so maybe that factored into it too. And lmao where do you work, it sounds like heaven ;) Donno then :o I work as a receptionist at a Real Estate ~ and lately a lot of guys have been looking for houses ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) |
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| Try to be more honest in conversation, say what you really think, so you both can adapt to each other's mannerism slowly. Some people just appear different from others and if you talk to them more often in real life, you will get use to their body language, because that seem to be the problem here. |
| IT'S JUST NOT MEANT TO BE </3 *pours 5 ounces of Barium on you* |
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Claire said: This particular girl is attractive and regularly meets up with other attractive girls (cough, me). Attractiveness does not always correlate with how socially skilled or confident someone is though so not too much could be based off that. Maybe she's social but introverted so she shuts down when around others because it takes energy out of her? Claire said: Right? It is possible to make a connection with most people -- even you can testify to it. You and your new acquaintance might share quiet moments, but it's not awkward per se because you're interested in them somewhat. She said I acted award but she said it was really cute. I'm not really used to meeting people but I felt comfortable around her, and felt fine hanging out with her friends even who I never spoken to before. I think a persons personality type determines what type of people they can get along well with. Some people can only get along with those just like themselves or their opposites to balance out but some are good with a wide range of people. |
| That's what you get for trying to meet up with online friends.. |
| I think you're reading too much into this. If you can get along with other people just fine, then I don't think it's your problem. No one can please everyone, and some people just don't click with some personalities. That's all there is to it, IMO. It could be the girl didn't like you, didn't feel comfortable talking to you, etc. But that shouldn't really worry you because you've made other friends doing what you've been trying to do with this girl. You don't lack communication skills. You just have to take it to heart that you cannot win everybody over. Of course, you could try hitting it up with her again when you have the opportunity. No one wants to lose out on a potentially good friend. |
yosimba2000May 9, 2016 11:50 PM
| Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons. It is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth. -Walt Whitman A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. -Robert A. Heinlein |
| are you sure that person (eventhough im sure its just a made up story) has many friends in real life? huge number of online friends does not count so ye that person maybe just socially inept and possibly due to mental illness, so no use blaming yourself because its beyond your control |
_Potato_Senpai said: I work as a receptionist at a Real Estate ~ and lately a lot of guys have been looking for houses ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Damn gurl, get those hot Chinese guys looking for a home ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Trolls_Bane said: Try to be more honest in conversation, say what you really think, so you both can adapt to each other's mannerism slowly. Some people just appear different from others and if you talk to them more often in real life, you will get use to their body language, because that seem to be the problem here. That makes a lot of sense. Perhaps repeated exposure would lead to more understanding and rapport. I have to say though that I was honest about my perception of her behavior and she was taken aback by what I said and got defensive. Meh, what a bitch. |
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Claire said: _Potato_Senpai said: I work as a receptionist at a Real Estate ~ and lately a lot of guys have been looking for houses ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Damn gurl, get those hot Chinese guys looking for a home ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Sometimes I've wanted to offer them my spare room........ or bed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) some people are just like "just a room would be nice" |
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Claire said: Meh, what a bitch. next time try bringing cupcakes, i hear bitches love cupcakes |
| I CELEBRATE myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you. |
_Potato_Senpai said: Sometimes I've wanted to offer them my spare room........ or bed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) some people are just like "just a room would be nice" I believe there is a certain channel on a certain adult website that caters to such an audience. Maybe you should apply :) |
| Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons. It is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth. -Walt Whitman A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. -Robert A. Heinlein |
| We haven't had a good Crzy parody thread in a while. OT: You can't please everyone, and not everyone is going to like you, simple fact of life. |
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yosimba2000 said: I believe there is a certain channel on a certain adult website that caters to such an audience. Maybe you should apply :) And what site might this be? I'm intrigued ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) |
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_Potato_Senpai said: yosimba2000 said: I believe there is a certain channel on a certain adult website that caters to such an audience. Maybe you should apply :) And what site might this be? I'm intrigued ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I'd PM you but you only take PMs from friends. Yes, I really did try to send you the link, haha. |
| Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons. It is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth. -Walt Whitman A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. -Robert A. Heinlein |
yosimba2000 said: I'd PM you but you only take PMs from friends. Yes, I really did try to send you the link, haha. Changed my settings; you should be able to message me now ;) |
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| Chemistry between people is a weird thing. Sometimes, it takes time for it to build. I have crazy chemistry with many people from my military base. We lived together for years. Sometimes people are not even trying to build a chemistry. It sounds to me like this girl simply wrote you off without trying. Connecting to people is a skill you should always work on, but not everyone will help you with it. |
| WEAPONS - My blog, for reviews of music, anime, books, and other things |
_Potato_Senpai said: yosimba2000 said: I'd PM you but you only take PMs from friends. Yes, I really did try to send you the link, haha. Changed my settings; you should be able to message me now ;) You can't be serious O.o Well, you can't call me a creep, OK! PM'ed you, haha. |
| Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons. It is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth. -Walt Whitman A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. -Robert A. Heinlein |
Got it ;) ~ It's quite an interesting site ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) |
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Come in HQ this thread has been hijacked I repeat this thread has been hijacked. |
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You jeleeeeeeee? it's a pretty intriguing webiste ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) |
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I'm sure you're going to have a heck of a time tonight ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) |
| Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons. It is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth. -Walt Whitman A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. -Robert A. Heinlein |
I'm stuck between curiosity and my better internet instincts. |
| |
I already am ;) Thank you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) If you realyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy want to see the site, just let me know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) |
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_Potato_Senpai said: I already am ;) Thank you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) If you realyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy want to see the site, just let me know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Though I should warn you that you should never try whatever you see there in your real job. I don't wanna be the one who started it all. |
| Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons. It is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth. -Walt Whitman A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. -Robert A. Heinlein |
yosimba2000 said: Though I should warn you that you should never try whatever you see there in your real job. I don't wanna be the one who started it all. All good, I tend to keep the work place professional ;) |
★ |
SnugglyWhuggly said: We haven't had a good Crzy parody thread in a while. OT: You can't please everyone, and not everyone is going to like you, simple fact of life. Heh, what a compliment, but this isn't a parody thread. I spent at least $120 today just to meet up with her because I had to take an Uber + food expenses. Next time I shouldn't go out of my way to befriend someone, especially if it costs me money. It's a lesson worth $120 and will save me money in the future. TheBrainintheJar said: It sounds to me like this girl simply wrote you off without trying. Connecting to people is a skill you should always work on, but not everyone will help you with it. Good point. That's exactly what happened. It doesn't help that we're sort of in competition. yosimba2000 said: I think you're reading too much into this. If you can get along with other people just fine, then I don't think it's your problem. No one can please everyone, and some people just don't click with some personalities. That's all there is to it, IMO. It could be the girl didn't like you, didn't feel comfortable talking to you, etc. But that shouldn't really worry you because you've made other friends doing what you've been trying to do with this girl. You don't lack communication skills. You just have to take it to heart that you cannot win everybody over. Such sweet words, thank you. This made me feel better. <3 |
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| OP: people are freaking weird. get used to it. i'd place a huge bet on it having nothing to do with you unless you were somehow wildly offensive let tt go and move on. your initial post seems well thought out and i can tell your emotions are real. go be you and find people that are willing to try and connect outside the web |
Claire said: SnugglyWhuggly said: We haven't had a good Crzy parody thread in a while. OT: You can't please everyone, and not everyone is going to like you, simple fact of life. Heh, what a compliment, but this isn't a parody thread. I spent at least $120 today just to meet up with her because I had to take an Uber + food expenses. Next time I shouldn't go out of my way to befriend someone, especially if it costs me money. It's a lesson worth $120 and will save me money in the future. TheBrainintheJar said: It sounds to me like this girl simply wrote you off without trying. Connecting to people is a skill you should always work on, but not everyone will help you with it. Good point. That's exactly what happened. It doesn't help that we're sort of in competition. yosimba2000 said: I think you're reading too much into this. If you can get along with other people just fine, then I don't think it's your problem. No one can please everyone, and some people just don't click with some personalities. That's all there is to it, IMO. It could be the girl didn't like you, didn't feel comfortable talking to you, etc. But that shouldn't really worry you because you've made other friends doing what you've been trying to do with this girl. You don't lack communication skills. You just have to take it to heart that you cannot win everybody over. Such sweet words, thank you. This made me feel better. <3 Sure! Glad I could make you feel better. |
| Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons. It is to grow in the open air and to eat and sleep with the earth. -Walt Whitman A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. -Robert A. Heinlein |
| This story kind of reminded me with a friend I have as well. She was a classmate I had in college and she contacted me suddenly one day on Facebook and asking if I wanna hang out. We did, watched a movie and had dinner. But it was awkward. Just remembering it is making me cringe. I had to keep wracking my brain trying to think of something to talk about the entire time because I don't wanna fall into an awkward silence but she felt (or she looked like it anyway) all chill the entire time. When we sat down for dinner she also hardly made eye contact which prompted me to not wanna look her way as well. After that torture ordeal, I went home absolutely exhausted and I never met up with her since. I would agree about the whole chemistry thing. It was definitely how it was in my case and my friend. We simply didn't click. But I also think it's nothing to be too bothered about. It's normal since it's impossible to have a smooth relationship with everyone. I hope you can get over it and move on as I have. There are always more people out there whose worth your time/effort. :3 |
 . . . . . ✘ . . . . .DO NOT touch my rice. . . . . . I'm Asian. . . . . . |
Claire said: It seems like she doesn't know how to make another person feel comfortable, her smiles and laughter were sparse, and she barely made any eye contact even though I was consistently making eye contact with her just like you would in a normal conversation. Not everyone has to have a bubbly personality. And don't keep trying to make contact if they aren't comfortable with it, you'll only make them feel more uncomfortable. |
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Claire said: That makes a lot of sense. Perhaps repeated exposure would lead to more understanding and rapport. I have to say though that I was honest about my perception of her behavior and she was taken aback by what I said and got defensive. Meh, what a bitch. Hahaha. But it might be because of her social awkwardness, some people take mild comments as insult and unknowingly become defensive. I think I will give her the benefit of the doubt. |
| I'm the kind of person who's barely able to look strangers into the eyes. It gets better when you know the person, but trust me, it isn't exactly a choice. It's probably far too early to tell if you would be friends with her. It's up to you to decide if you want to keep it up until she opens herself, or if it isn't worth the effort. |
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| Tough luck pussycat. Not everyone is going to be all over you and shower you with attention. There's always going to be a person you can't read with the way you've taught yourself to think and feel. What you make out of that is up to you to decide. |
| I'd probably feel awkward as well when I meet someone I know over the internet, people can act different online and offline. |
| It easily could just be that meeting up with people she's spoken to online is new for her and she doesn't have much experience with it. If she's socially awkward but has tried to meet up with you in order to better herself and get over her social aversions, it makes sense that it wouldn't necessarily have gone very well. Specifically the part you mentioned about her not making much eye contact says to me that she's not socially competent, or struggles with strangers. I'm very much the same myself, in that regard. I wouldn't take that as being a problem on your behalf. She also might not have any issues at all, but the two of you just lacked the something to take an interest in the other. Just a simple lack of chemistry, as said in the title. That makes a lot of sense. Perhaps repeated exposure would lead to more understanding and rapport. I have to say though that I was honest about my perception of her behavior and she was taken aback by what I said and got defensive. Meh, what a bitch. ...Except with comments like this, maybe you are the problem in this case. If someone's feeling awkward and uncomfortable, confronting someone about it is quite obviously going to make it even worse. It's no wonder she would get defensive. No, she's not a bitch just because she didn't get along with you. Maybe arrogance is the problem here. |
MazMay 10, 2016 4:16 AM
 It's an entirely different kind of flying, altogether! It's an entirely different kind of flying. |
Claire said: ThrashMatto said: Nice parody thread Claire OT: Sometimes you just don't click with certain people, sharing similar hobbies and interests isn't always enough to become friends. I also think that if the other person doesn't take a genuine interest in you as a person, if they don't think you might be somewhat interesting, any attempts on your part to connect will be in vain. traed said: Doesn't sound like it's lack of chemistry, it's probably just she's not used to meeting up with people and shes more socially awkward and not good at making a conversation go. I havent had this problem when I met up with someone before. I was quiet a lot but we hugged and sat close to eachother and shed smile at me and id smile back seeing her smile. We did not talk a whole lot but we still did talk to eachother and enjoyed seeing eachother. This particular girl is attractive and regularly meets up with other attractive girls (cough, me). Right? It is possible to make a connection with most people -- even you can testify to it. You and your new acquaintance might share quiet moments, but it's not awkward per se because you're interested in them somewhat. oh my you are that one attractive gurlo from snapchat |
| Vishnu was trying to persuade the prince to do his duty, so to impress him he took on his multi armed form and said now I become death, the destroyer of worlds. |
| In your situation, I just think meeting in person after talking online would be a little awkward for anybody. I would be a little uncomfortable I guess. And online conversations clearly flow better because you have the time to think about your replies and stuff |
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| Ok. First off, what is with you making these life storied blog posts about your day and disguising them as conversational topics? I doubt anything you even said in the OP is true. And if it is, then it might as well not be since you were doing it just for the sake of making a blog post about it |
| Well, most of the time, I'm the one giving the *unfriendly* vibes because of my lack of social skills. |
Clebardman said: I'm the kind of person who's barely able to look strangers into the eyes. It gets better when you know the person, but trust me, it isn't exactly a choice. It's probably far too early to tell if you would be friends with her. It's up to you to decide if you want to keep it up until she opens herself, or if it isn't worth the effort. If she's bubbly with everyone but ignores OP, then she's not interested in OP. It's always good to observe someone with other people to better understand their reactions towards you. Although I was wrong in my observations many times. People go deep. |
| WEAPONS - My blog, for reviews of music, anime, books, and other things |
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