AlmostGod said: Vicious said: 1. Do you think I am just hopeless and can never have a true life and should just give up trying already? Life is a constant struggle for the majority of people i would think. Struggle builds character and builds a resume of interesting stories. Am i saying the more you struggle, the more interesting you are ? Possibly yes. Don't expect to be happy all the time. Happiness is fleeting. It is perfectly normal to cycle through every possible human emotion bc that is actually how emotions work. TL/DR no you shouldn't give up. You gonna learn to manage them and tame that flame inside of you. 2. Who/what is to blame for me being the person I am, Why do people keep thinking I choose to be the way I am. There is no point in blaming your parents. Work with the cards you are dealt with even though your hand may look shitty. Many people have god awful parents who don't deserve to have children, but find their own path to a better life. Labeling yourself as a victim of bad circumstances and resenting will get you no where. It will only stagnate you. If your dad is such a toxic influence in your life set a goal to eventually move far the fuck away from him. Surround yourself with people who actually care and fuck other external noises. You do kickboxing so maybe you can find friends there who share the same hobbies as you. 3. Do you think I don´t deserve anyones love or understanding and should just give up on humans already and go live with my plants and 495 dogs completely isolated from the world? I'm still very much an idealistic person even though i'm in my 20s now so yes i think everyone deserves to be loved, but first you gotta love yourself or at least accept yourself. It might sound cliche, but if you are a toxic person, eventually you'll just push everyone away and the results will become extremely visible in your relationships with people in general. No one deserves to live in isolation no matter how much emotional baggage you might have. Social isolation only makes your problems worse. 4. Why does everything suck? Why did I have to win the lottery for all this? Idk you could always be born in some god awful country like Syria. Life is hard. You can't sugarcoat it. blah blah i hate writing about real shit back to shitposting Well man, I also hate writing about real shit, but I just couldn´t hold it all in anymore. I mean I love myself, It is just all the pressure/hate and all sorta treatment I been put up with that started making me doubt myself hard lately. It really gotta be the meds, I am probably gonna get back to being my old shitty self and being proud of it soon enough, IDK I am just pmsing over the silliest of stuff lately. And about selflove, I have quite an ego that is unhealthy yeah. Tho it is like, I am the only person I allow to criticize myself, I am completely closed to any criticisms coming from outside and they really trigger me. I get aggressive anytime I feel my pride/self is being attacked or anytime I feel vulnerable or sad, as a self defense mechanism. Like people go write poems, paint stuff, go cry in their lovers arms, sleep, binge eat, or whatever when they are sad, me I just get too agressive and/or impulsive, this shit is just exhausting yo. But yea I guess I could have it always worse, like not having a fabulous bushy mustache. I will give you that. ps You are a fag. I don't think anyone enjoys being told they suck or being criticized in anyway. I sometimes get defensive too when i'm on the receiving end. I mean you can always pretend you are being receptive by nodding your head or sumthing, and just walk away lol. It sure is better than getting aggressive. It is hard when you are in the heat of the moment, but you don't always have to turn your emotions into action. Sure you sometimes don't want to hear it, but some criticism can be constructive as long as the person isn't all up on your grill. I don't have any history of being on psychotropic drugs, so i can't really relate on that end. ps u r a feggit too |
| 1. If you think that way most people would be hopeless. All kinds of people from mental disorders like Alzheimer to people with physical disabilities. Everyone has something in them that can make them happy even if it will be very difficult to find it. 2. Nobody. It is just unfortunate series of events that made you like this. 3. Friends should completely accept who you are or they are just false people pretending to be your hope. You should surround yourself with accepting people and try to find someone who knows the struggles. Most people with depressions will not laugh you off with "You just need to stop being so sad" if you know what I mean. 4. Everything sucks. It's you who needs to make it better. Some people who seek purpose need something that is greater than them so they go to their delusional "God" who is always right and you are in his "plan". I know pretty much what are you talking about with some differences. I have suspicion for ASPD and have been diagnosed with Anxiety, Depression and other things like Insomnia. I lack remorse, guilt, empathy and don't feel anything to anybody. I am also a pathological liar in real life. My family from dad's side has multiple different disorder. Don't want to talk much about that but one of them Paranoia. The one label which stuck to me the most is Anxiety. Every time I go to a doctor about the problem and he sees he immediately assumes it is because of Anxiety. Which clouded them multiple times. Pills are the worst shit ever. Bcuz of my strong genetics weak pills didn't work for me. So they prescribed the strongest shit they had. I felt like I was on meth. Nothing in mind. Locked in a place and only hearing people made me feel so bad I wanted to puke. My mother, fortunately, noticed and I got off them. Now I don't want to take any pills related to the brain. Got almost prescribed pills to help with insomnia and I almost flipped. |
What the hell did you pull of in the first place to warrant a bodyguard, killer pills and threats to get you locked up? I presume you live in land of the free :^) America? If you've got the money, getting institutionalized in a country where they actually make an effort to help, like somewhere in Scandinavia, might not be a bad thing. USA-psychiatrists are notoriously horrible at anything but worsening mental illness. Finding a good doc who can actually help you is infinitely more productive than getting you killed on zombie pills. It's a shame that governors over there are still too backwards to have figured that out. Who even came up with the meme that the US is a good country to live in just because the GDP is high? tbh I'd rather live in Albania and get my kidneys stolen every Tuesday to pay the bills Or move to Serbia so I can finally meet Tupac than live in that backwater shadow dictature with a god complex Also I'm not going to reply to your 4 questions because only you can answer them, in the end. |
PernodiAug 12, 2017 11:34 AM
| I don't usually advice religion, but you should probably go towards that. Find Jesus man. Or Go full sinful and indulge in your carnal desires... Whatever. |
| Lol maybe you can add bipolar to your resumé. If your existential crisis comes back, you can always blow new life into this thread |
| It may be a stupid thing to ask but as a person considering going to a psychiatrist as well, I'd like to ask you what good did it bring you? You were diagnosed a lot of things, and are now forced to take a lot of medication that seem to make your life difficult :/ How was it before? To me, it seems like your post is about consequences of it, but maybe I read it all too fast ^^ |
 |
| 1. Hopeless? To me, it's all gonna be the same, live your way life through, eat some steak, drink some smoothie, and you'll find the meaning of life. 2. To blame, it's always society, it defines who you are. Maybe I'm not serious about this one but yeah. 3. Define "Normal". It's personal opinion, a stoner thinks living in ecstasy is normal, a duck thinks quacking is normal and myself thinks being a virgin is normal. 4. I dunno, everything only sucks when you make it suck. Anyway, that's some stuff. |
AlmostGod said: Here is your known casual shitposter sini5ter, AlmostGod etc. Don´t you dare troll this, I have some thoughts haunting me lately so bad and I wanna vent a little... So here are some of the questions I been meaning to ask: 1. Do you think I am just hopeless and can never have a true life and should just give up trying already? 2. Who/what is to blame for me being the person I am, Why do people keep thinking I choose to be the way I am. I been struggling against my inner demons my whole life long, and if there is someone hated it the most, that is me. I mean all my problems started since birth (which is another tragic story of my mom actually wanting to get an abortion due to pressure of my relatives thinking there should be noone sharing the genes of someone as fucked up as my father, but shit happened and here I am, bla blah. thx daddy u rock) I can not stop thinking about this daily, I have a feeling it would have been million times better if that abortion thing had happened for real. 3. I wanna make friends, I wanna live a normal(atleast as normal as it gets after this point) life like everyone else. I want a serious deep relationship. These are truly what I am in need of instead of trying to fill my emptiness with temporary bullshit that never seems to help, or getting one med prescribed one after another. But I am scared. I am scared of the person I am, and I am scared of leaving myself open to feelings/to get hurt. I only use my sadistic tendencies on people I think who deserves it (totally depending on my sense of justice, such as bullies, whatever) except for the times my explosive side takes control over. But like in reality I do think and wanna believe I am a good person afterall? (somewhat, somehow?) Do you think I don´t deserve anyones love or understanding and should just give up on humans already and go live with my plants and 495 dogs completely isolated from the world? 4. Why does everything suck? Why did I have to win the lottery for all this? I'm not going to shitpost/troll you, but what I might say likely won't be what you want to hear. 1. What is a 'true life'? You live, do you not? You consume sustenance and provide some level of product or action with an end purpose, right? There is no one 'true life'. Everyone's lives are different, everyone suffers in important areas and excels in others. Not everyone will have a close circle of friends, or keep on friend for a long period of time. Not everyone will get married, and not everyone will avoid having to raise 5 kids. The Human expereince varies heavily from one person to another, no one experience is the 'true' one. I'd argue that as long as you both take both physical, mental, and emotional support from others, and in turn you do your best to return physical, mental, and emotional support to others, that you are living a 'true' life. 2. Are you religious? If yes, then take the easy way out and blame God and/or Satan, or whatever deity it is you follow. If no, then there is no one to blame, unless your parents did alot of crazy stuff that might have damaged your development in the womb. There is no real 'blame game' to be played. Sure, maybe you psychologically abused others. That's just the result of a chain of circumstances that spans backwards in time for decades, if not centuries. Some of the circumstances might be environmental in nature, some might just be genetic, and some might just be you reacting to something that happened to you, which in turn was a reaction to something that happened to someone else, and on and on. There is no point in pressing charges and pointing fingers if a culprit can't be punished. There is no value in punishing your father for doing something as base to human nature as wanting to spread his genetic information to the next generation. He has no control over his genetic makeup, just like you have no control over yours. Likewise, there is no value in wishing to pursue your mother's family for trying to get your aborted. They're acting in self-interest, or in interest of a family member. It's easy to act like you are not worth spending energy on when your presence at the time is little more then a pound or so of developing cells hidden behind a woman's belly. They merely wanted to take the easy way out. So once again I must say, there is no one to blame. Unless you want to blame God/Satan/Inset Deity here. 3. Why give up? Go and do it. JUST DO IT! MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! No, this is not shitposting. I'm dead serious. Yes, you are a terrifying creature. Guess what, almost all of humanity consists of terrifying creatures for a massive number of reasons. Your circumstances might be different, but as a whole you are no different then anyone else out there. When interacting with someone, be honest. That's not to say your opening statement should be "Hello, my name is 'X', and I have Sadistic Personality Disorder!". But if you find that you are going to spend a significant amount of time with someone over a period of days, weeks, months, or even years, let them know the gist of what they are in for. As terrifying as humans are, they can also be quite forgiving, especially in the long-term. Don't stop trying to be your best, and don't stop trying to show your best to others. That is the human experience, and that is something that no one else can take away from you. Only you could take it away from yourself by isolating yourself. 4. Yeah, your life sucks. You life in a cardboard box on the side of the street, with no income, no chance for a job, and no one who gives a danm. Yeah, your life sucks, you're horribly disfigured and your upper lip is fused to your nose, encouraging terrifying bacteria and diseases to grow within your skull. Yeah, your life sucks, you have a parasite in your eyes and is slowly eating away at your visual receptors, and blindness is the only option for you. Yeah, your life sucks, you run the largest country in the world but are unable to make any significant changes that you promised/desire because all of your life is now going to be spent trying to appease the middle-men just beneath you. Yeah, your life sucks because the only person that you ever cared for is gone from your life, and you are left with six figures of debt and children that you never cared for. Yeah, your life sucks, because you never had a life. You were killed before taking a breath outside of the womb. Fuck that thinking. Slap yourself on the face for me because I'm not there to do it for you (and typing 'virtual slap' does all of jackshit). You live in a civilized country, can comprehend the inner workings of the universe, can appreciate art, and can (attempt to) choose to act or not act on your tendencies. Your life sucks, and so does every other person out there. Embrace the suck, and live. FUCKING LIVE!!! |
"I'd take rampant lesbianism over nuclear armageddon or a supervolcano any day." ~nikiforova |
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