New
Jul 29, 2019 8:27 AM
#51
traed said: +1Could be simply sociological influences that lead to aggression to be expressed in different ways for people under normal daily circumstances on average. Overall males and females are about equally aggressive. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5942158/ I agree 100%. Men and women are equally aggressive just in different ways. |
Jul 31, 2019 4:55 PM
#52
related that i can relate too in real life social situations Anxiety Looks Different in Men Instead of coming across as nervousness or worry, anxiety in men often appears as anger, muscle aches or alcohol use—leading many men to go undiagnosed When a man explodes in anger over something seemingly insignificant, he may appear like just a jerk. But he could be anxious. Anxiety problems can look different in men. When people think of anxiety, they may picture the excessive worry and avoidance of frightening situations that often plague those who suffer. These afflict men, too. But there’s a growing recognition among psychologists that men are more likely to complain of headaches, difficulty sleeping and muscle aches and pains. They are more likely to use alcohol and drugs to cope with anxiety, so what looks like a drinking problem may actually be an underlying anxiety disorder. And anxiety in men often manifests as anger and irritability. Anxious “men may present as loose cannons, but they are worriers,” says Kevin Chapman, a clinical psychologist in Louisville, Ky. “Aggression tends to be more socially acceptable to many men than anxiety.” Studies have found that about one in five men (and about one in three women) will have an anxiety disorder during their lifetime. But psychologists are increasingly concerned that those numbers underreport male cases. This is particularly worrisome now that more research is finding a link between anxiety and suicide. Depression is the mental illness most strongly associated with suicidal thoughts, but it doesn’t often lead to suicidal acts, according to a 2010 study by researchers at Harvard University and Harvard Medical School. Instead it is anxiety disorders, along with substance abuse and conduct disorder, that are most strongly associated with suicide attempts; the link between anxiety and suicide has been echoed in more recent studies as well. Men are more than three times more likely to die by suicide than women, and suicide rates are on the rise in the U.S., according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “People who are panicky and have a desire to escape from a situation they perceive to be intolerable, that could be the spark to act on their [suicidal] thoughts,” says Matthew K. Nock, a psychology professor at Harvard and an author of the study. In general, men are less likely to receive treatment for mental health issues. “We’ve been socialized from a very young age to see emotional vulnerability as a weakness,” says Michael Addis, a professor of psychology and director of the Men’s Well-Being Research Group at Clark University in Worcester, Mass. “Seeking help is seen as a sign of weakness as well,” for some men. Anxiety is a normal human emotion, of course. But it becomes a disorder when it is so severe and constant that it impairs a person’s life, interfering with work and relationships. Anxiety disorders and depression often occur together. The most well-researched and effective treatments for anxiety disorders are cognitive behavioral therapy, which teaches patients to alter problematic thinking that fuels anxiety and to actively approach situations they fear, and antidepressant medications like Prozac and Lexapro. Aaron California had been anxious since childhood: He avoided parties and had intense anxiety before taking tests. At 19, he realized that anxiety was “ruining my life,” says Mr. California, now 31 years old and an aide in Moscow, Idaho, for people with disabilities. “It caused me to drop out [of college]. I ended up quitting my job,” because he was so afraid of making mistakes. Still, he resisted getting treatment because of “the stigma of being judged by others,” he says. Men often seek treatment after a work crisis—or, especially, at the urging of a partner. But what is the best way to encourage a man to get help for anxiety? One thing not to do is deliver an ultimatum: That can lead to a power struggle and actually increase someone’s resistance to treatment. Instead, “highlight that their quality of life is suffering,” says Dean McKay, a psychology professor at Fordham University in New York and a past president of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies. Tell your loved one that with effective treatment, “you’ll enjoy stuff so much more. We can enjoy each other more if you are able to manage this thing. That is pretty compelling.” Dr. Addis suggests expressing your own distress about your loved one’s suffering, how you’re worrying, how you’re not sleeping. And above all, be compassionate. “Rather than seeing him as a sort of stubborn, unwilling typical man, try to start seeing them as a human being not only anxious and depressed but struggling with what they expect of themselves and what society expects of them,” he says. Avoiding diagnostic labels may also help. Dr. McKay doesn’t mention the word anxiety during the first couple of therapy sessions with some men. Dr. Chapman says some of his patients are more comfortable calling treatment “coaching” or “help with performance” that is focused on “distress at work.” Many men, of course, are comfortable discussing their emotions and using terms like anxiety and depression. Still, short-term, goal-oriented treatments that focus on changing behavior, like cognitive behavioral therapy, might be more palatable for many men. CBT usually involves 12 to 15 weekly sessions. “A more practical approach, a more coaching-oriented approach is going to feel more familiar to a lot of men,” says Dr. Addis. “It’s not a lot different than getting a golf lesson.” John Borders had been struggling with panic attacks and troubling obsessive thoughts for years before his wife convinced him to see a therapist for anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder. “I didn’t understand what was going on in my mind,” said Mr. Borders, a 54-year-old lawyer in Louisville. He then had two brief stints of therapy that he says weren’t very helpful before he started CBT and exposure and response prevention treatment (a version of CBT that is used for OCD) with Dr. Chapman. At that point, Mr. Borders had an intense fear of driving on highways. “My heart would race. I’d think I was going to run off the road.” So Dr. Chapman had Mr. Borders drive on highways, and, to up the anxiety symptoms even more, do so after drinking coffee. “I would drink a double shot of espresso and get on the highway and drive,” said Mr. Borders. “That really helped.” Mindfulness practices like meditation can also be effective, and particularly useful for men who express a lot of frustration and anger in response to anxiety. Meditation “slows you down. You can make choices of action that are more premeditated,” says Douglas Mennin, a professor of clinical psychology at Columbia University Teachers College. Dr. Mennin also encourages group therapy, which can counteract the social isolation and loneliness that some men feel—and that can make anxiety worse. Mr. California did get cognitive behavioral therapy and took medication. While he still deals with anxiety, he largely recovered and finished college and a master’s degree in educational psychology. Opening up to his co-workers and developing friendships, he says, has been critical, too. “Being able to talk to someone is anxiety-reducing,” he says. “It’s meant a tremendous amount to me to feel a sense of love and belonging where I’m no longer alone.” How to Help —Don’t deliver an ultimatum. This can lead to a power struggle and increase his resistance to treatment. Instead, highlight ways his quality of life could improve with treatment. —Convey your own distress about his suffering—how you are worrying about him. —Be compassionate. Don’t view him as being stubborn, see him as a human being who is struggling with a heavy burden of expectations. —Avoid diagnostic labels. Using the word “anxiety” could make him uncomfortable. source https://www.wsj.com/articles/anxiety-looks-different-in-men-11564494352 |
Jul 31, 2019 5:54 PM
#53
@ugmon I don't know anymore where I got it from, but I thought of this discussion when I've seen the meme and that's too accurate. 😅 |
Jul 31, 2019 8:51 PM
#55
I hate when I have to move something and there’s only a girl to help me, like wtf hurry up! why do you have to take so many breaks? I am doing most of the lifting too! And then she starts crying after I tell her that and then I have to say sorry I didn’t mean it.. so annoying omg |
Real men cry themselves to sleep every night |
Aug 1, 2019 2:40 AM
#56
Female aggression nowadays can be just as worrying and concerning as male aggression >_< |
Aug 1, 2019 3:10 AM
#57
Well if you're an upstanding member of society the aggression is actually fantastic, it's why men make 7% more than women all other factors considered and most CEOs are men (although let it be noted aggressive women actually make even more than aggressive men lol like for example the CEOs who do happen to be women). There are a lot of extremely productive ways that aggression can be channeled. Problem is most men don't channel that natural aggression productively, so instead we get a bunch of criminals and assholes (meanwhile women don't have that inherent aggressiveness so we hardly get any female criminals and certainly get way less female assholes). The solution is for parents to step in and raise their boys right, they should also be teaching their girls to be more aggressive as well so that they don't have to deal with their male colleagues trying to walk all over them. But we have a proper parenting crisis in this country right now so unfortunately I don't see either of those things happening any time soon. So personally I'll just continue to try and use that aggressiveness gene to keep on kicking ass rather than to keep on being an ass. |
Aug 1, 2019 1:24 PM
#59
Kyotosomo said: Well if you're an upstanding member of society the aggression is actually fantastic, it's why men make 7% more than women If we're talking about overall income that's because women choose lowering paying jobs like teaching more often than men. |
Aug 1, 2019 1:35 PM
#60
Aug 1, 2019 5:47 PM
#61
BlakexEkalb said: Kyotosomo said: Well if you're an upstanding member of society the aggression is actually fantastic, it's why men make 7% more than women If we're talking about overall income that's because women choose lowering paying jobs like teaching more often than men. I'm talking about a man and a woman in the exact same job with the exact same education with the exact same past work experience with exact same on and on and on. As when all other factors are the same there's still a 7% wage gap (it's actually probably higher because some industries do pay higher for gender diversity hires inflating their wage) and all the data seems to point towards it being because it's much more common among men to get the kind of person that much more aggressively seeks and demands raises/promotions even if it means being a bit of a jerk in order to do so. But yes when you don't take all factors into account it seems the biggest factor in the (I believe 21% now) overall wage gap is that there's way more men going into STEM and Vocational work and way more women going into the Liberal Arts and other jobs that put job satisfaction above money. Of course as a STEM major myself this sucks because every class is a sausage fest, I'd much rather half or more of my fellow STEM majors be women. Plus just in general we need more people in these highly useful fields than in crap useless to society like basket weaving or philosophy. |
Aug 1, 2019 9:09 PM
#62
Too much aggression and you're either a an edgelord or a basic bro. Too little aggression and you're a soy-boy beta male along, with other euphemisms. It's all about moderation: A little bit of column A, and a little bit of column B. |
Aug 2, 2019 2:56 AM
#63
ugmon said: I think we do, aggression is progression in my eyes it's always been that way. These days in civilization we're subtle or passive aggressive about it but we still use it or mask it as being assertive. ghostcarnist said: Without aggression we wouldn't have gotten as far as we've come nature's a competition after all. but do we need as much violence or hostility like in the past? today the aggression is mostly online with verbal abuse for example inb4 the meme how can cyberbullying be real just close your eyes derp Can't be competitive without a sort of aggression and when you really think about it winning is everything in the grand scheme of things. In terms of violence and hostility as long as there are opposing factors and factions it's just an inevitable part of human nature. (or nature in general) |
ghostorcAug 2, 2019 2:59 AM
??????? |
Aug 3, 2019 1:40 AM
#65
Huge problem, males also always are going to have the privilege that'll give them the upperhand in many situations as long as horrible crimes are not involved. They can say anything to anyone whenever they want. And that'll make them more aggressive in general. dinesj21 said: It isn't just men that are aggressive. But we're talking about men, sit down. |
Steam: Zeemanhuismerk |
Aug 3, 2019 2:06 AM
#66
Most men are not partaking in starting wars or in violent crime, so I'd say no. Ideologies that promote those attitudes are the real problem of our time. |
Aug 3, 2019 4:18 AM
#67
ghostcarnist said: Without aggression we wouldn't have gotten as far as we've come nature's a competition after all. That's also wrong. Human society and the social "norms" of many intelligent animals are very complex and compassion and cooperation are a big part of it. Every slightly to very intelligent animal in a group learns to cooperate with its group and show compassion to others, like elephants, monkeys, corvids, parrots, dolphins, wolves etc... it's not the most aggressive and dominant, who's surviving. Many times, overly aggressive individuals might get kicked out of these groups and if they are the leader, the pack or herd has a lower chance of surviving than with a more cooperative leader. Aggression is just a part of it sometimes. |
removed-userAug 3, 2019 5:44 AM
Aug 3, 2019 4:58 AM
#68
I do agree that men in general are more aggressive than women but I wouldn't say there's as big of a difference as you think it is. More men in history starting wars can be understood by the simple concept of proportions. Also, suicide methods with higher likelihoods of lethality doesn't necessarily mean more brutal methods. Cyanide, Chemical poisoning, Hanging all have high odds of success while being less brutal than say, gun to the head or jumping under a train. For solutions, I'd say that directing the energy into something healthy like explosive sports or action-oriented games is a good idea. ugmon said: do not want to write more about this or it will look like a rhetorical question again Is that a reference to me lol, I hadn't meant it in a bad way that time though. |
Auron_Aug 3, 2019 5:03 AM
Aug 3, 2019 5:03 AM
#69
@Orhunaa nah you just made me know about rhetorical questions lol |
Aug 3, 2019 6:37 AM
#70
If you stop to think about it, it is quite the problem. Probably since people have existed violence has been constant. At times it presents itself as practical: war for resources, and at times as absurd: mass shootings in the USA. It is present in the earliest cultural artifacts: Iliad is a poem about war, in Theogonoy Chronos devours his children, the first event on Earth portrayed in the Bible is a murder. To me it seems that violence is a form of "disagreeing" with the state of things as they are in such a way that the subject needs to use force to "tame"nature. We are violent all the time: we cut trees down, we drill the soil, we dynamite mountains. You've said that men are the most violent, I agree. I think it's part of the tradition. But as Simone Weil says, it is not a surprise. |
Aug 3, 2019 9:26 AM
#71
Shoryuuken said: Just stating a fact. Lol. Anyone can be aggressive. Huge problem, males also always are going to have the privilege that'll give them the upperhand in many situations as long as horrible crimes are not involved. They can say anything to anyone whenever they want. And that'll make them more aggressive in general. dinesj21 said: It isn't just men that are aggressive. But we're talking about men, sit down. |
Aug 3, 2019 5:44 PM
#72
Maneki-Mew said: I also experienced that it's about beliefs and stereotypes that hurt especially boys. Do you know how diffiicult it is to make boys realize that they have the same right of having the same feelings and traits as girls. That's true. The primary victim of pride is the prideful one in most cases. |
Aug 3, 2019 5:54 PM
#73
Aug 4, 2019 12:34 PM
#74
Come on you cant change whats hard-coded into DNA, boys will be boys right :) |
Aug 4, 2019 12:46 PM
#75
I would say aggression itself is a problem not just male. |
"among monsters and humans, there are only two types. Those who undergo suffering and spread it to others. And those who undergo suffering and avoid giving it to others." -Alice “Beauty is no quality in things themselves: It exists merely in the mind which contemplates them; and each mind perceives a different beauty.” David Hume “Evil is created when someone gives up on someone else. It appears when everyone gives up on someone as a lost cause and removes their path to salvation. Once they are cut off from everyone else, they become evil.” -Othinus |
Aug 4, 2019 12:56 PM
#76
AnimeFeminist said: Yes I agree male aggression is a serious problem that is often overlooked in out society. Feminist scholars were warning others for years about this issue, but only recently did it become more accepted in academic circles. If toxic masculinity or male aggression as you called it is treated from the young age I think that it can be somewhat medicated. I also think that better parenthood is the key here. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxic_masculinity Bro this is some low-tier troll trash. Please get off this account I swear I'm tired of your shit fam. Male aggression is required human progress, if men were not aggressive, ambitious and didn't take risks we would still be living in straw huts. Take it from a real feminist that has done more for the feminist movement than you'll ever achieve in your whole life. |
LoneWolfAug 4, 2019 1:05 PM
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." -Friedrich Nietzsche |
Aug 4, 2019 1:02 PM
#77
Well I have other vision on that but maybe it's only me , From my experience in real life etc. the most agressive are used to be females not males and most fights or even battles in which I was the witness or somehow involved ( one of my friends got attacked etc.) was caused by women. I don't say that males aren't agressive cause humans as a humans being has agression in nature , some of us can stop it/neutralised it some peopl can't About history it's hard to say ( I am about to just start studying history so I am not that informed ) but from the first pages of Herodotus book it seems like the ancient wars ( Persia , Troya , Fenicyan , Greeks etc. ) some of them were cause by women actions or because they got kidnapped and then men decided to make an action ( begin a war) But tbh no matter if it's a male of female aggression I don't see that as a problem( by problem I mean the problem to mankind , to humanity , cause if someone will be aggressive and someday somewhere attack me , it will be a problem but my personal not as an overall problem to people ) |
Aug 4, 2019 1:09 PM
#78
LoneWolf said: AnimeFeminist said: Yes I agree male aggression is a serious problem that is often overlooked in out society. Feminist scholars were warning others for years about this issue, but only recently did it become more accepted in academic circles. If toxic masculinity or male aggression as you called it is treated from the young age I think that it can be somewhat medicated. I also think that better parenthood is the key here. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxic_masculinity Bro this is some low-tier troll trash. Please get off this account I swear I'm tired of your shit fam. Male aggression is required human progress, if men were not aggressive, ambitious and didn't take risks we would still be living in straw huts. Take it from a real feminist that has done more for the feminist movement than you'll ever achieve in your whole life. First link when I google her name: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/05/camille-paglia-uarts-left-deplatform/587125/ LMAO This shit is gold. |
Aug 4, 2019 1:56 PM
#79
A lot of people think of wars and fights when they think of aggressions, but it can come out in so many other ways that arent as violent, a lot of times success can come from certain types of aggressions of people who either wanna fight for something they care about in their life or the ability to not give up and succeed I also dont think its just a male thing but a human thing as a whole, while it happens more with males its not limited to them. |
Aug 6, 2019 11:31 AM
#80
LoneWolf said: Bro this is some low-tier troll trash. Please get off this account I swear I'm tired of your shit fam. Male aggression is required human progress, if men were not aggressive, ambitious and didn't take risks we would still be living in straw huts. Take it from a real feminist that has done more for the feminist movement than you'll ever achieve in your whole life. AGGRESSION DOES NOT MEAN AMBITION. STOP BEING DISHONEST JUST TO FIGHT FEMINISM. AGGRESSION DOES NOT BUILD HOUSES. I don't know why you feel like you are under attack just because people say you shouldn't be too aggressive. If you're not being too aggressive, then you should agree. If you are being to aggressive, then you are the problem. Don't try to twist it into man-hating. There is a clear difference between "stop doing x" and "I hate you, stop doing x, y, z". But of course that doesn't fit into the narrative you already decided on. |
Aug 6, 2019 12:04 PM
#81
i think there are several level of aggressiveness. that's why some aggressive actions that are tolerable and necessary. also, whether it's a problem or not, i think depends on the culture. in the East Asia (i think in the Middle-East too), meeting with a "fierce" male is normal. the culture there see that every man is a leader, and a leader have to protect things like their family. to able to do that, a leader can't be meek and weak-willed. when one is being harmed, he must fight back. a leader should able to speak his mind. that's why being "fierce" is something to be expected for a male there. in the West, a male doesn't have to be "fierce" as much as being "clever". the culture in the West is to enforce "mediation" more than "confrontation". so the level of aggressiveness that people can tolerate is kinda low. many would think that when they see a fight between two persons in the middle of the street as a barbaric action, right? so, my answer is whether it's a problem or not depends on the culture and the level of aggressiveness. |
Aug 6, 2019 7:36 PM
#82
Careful, the men are gonna getcha! Rawr! |
☆☆☆ "There's a huge difference between one and infinity. However, compared to the difference between existence and non-existence, one and infinite are nearly the same. I am the child destined to become the best witch... no... The greatest Creator in the world...!" -Maria Ushiromiya ☆☆☆ |
Aug 6, 2019 7:47 PM
#83
I think the major problem surrounding any form of aggressive individual is not taking into consideration the context of it, why are they aggressive? and to who? Being an asshole in general is not great, but when someone is an asshole because people treat them like shit, you can't really blame them for lashing out, its hard not to. EDIT: there is also a gulf of difference between being Aggressive and being Assertive, some cannot tell the difference between the two. |
Aug 6, 2019 7:50 PM
#84
CrowXIV said: I think the major problem surrounding any form of aggressive individual is not taking into consideration the context of it, why are they aggressive? and to who? Being an asshole in general is not great, but when someone is an asshole because people treat them like shit, you can't really blame them for lashing out, its hard not to. ye like with defense mechanism like psychological projection, etc the ego just want to protect itself and just want to fight back |
Aug 6, 2019 8:02 PM
#85
Imagine saying "truth bomb" unironically. |
LoneWolf said: @Josh makes me sad to call myself Canadian. |
Aug 7, 2019 1:54 AM
#86
aggression is fine for self-defense purposes but offense is the best defense they say too so its kinda funny thinking that especially when it comes to nature |
Aug 9, 2019 12:52 PM
#87
Ofttimes, it isn't men that are the only aggressive ones, it's that the statistics regarding the aggressiveness of women are either overlooked or downplayed by society because of these antiquated ideas many people still hold of all women being defenceless and innocent maidens at the mercy of hot-headed and domineering men. Just look at the statistics on domestic abuse against men in England and Wales. According to an article by the BBC on the subject: The most recent Crime Survey for England and Wales estimated that 1.3 million women and 695,000 men experienced domestic abuse in the last year. Yes, men are responsible for the majority of the incidents but the number of cases of women abusing men (at least in this particular instance) is certainly high enough that it cannot simply be waved off as some minor anomaly. |
--- + --- "Random quotes in signatures are like friends. Everyone seems to have them, except me." Sun Tzu, probably |
Aug 9, 2019 3:49 PM
#88
I'm surprised no one has brought the matter of testosterone into the equation, testosterone is a hormone which greatly increases agressive tendencies within an individual. This is why men are perceived as more aggressive than females. Take roid rage into account. Anabolic steroids are exogenous forms of testosterone, this exaggerates aggressive tendencies of a male (or female) who desires to take them. However I believe that the nature of an individual is the key factor and using that nature to act upon what is right and wrong. In my opinion it's just that it's more likely for males to act out aggressively rather than females due to their biological makeup. But yes, any act of aggression isn't right, be it male or female. |
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