| Hi MAL, After Googling for days and talking about it with people IRL I decided to turn to you because I need advice. To cut to the chase: My girlfriend wants a tattoo, and well, I hate the things. I'm well aware of how people can have (deep) personal meaning attached to them and whatnot, but that doesn't make it any less ugly for me. She wants a band logo on her arm (idk precisely where), so I don't know about the "deep personal meaning" here, lol. We spoke about my stance regarding piercings and such once, but we didn't really touch tattoos. I don't want to drive something like a wedge between us because she wants to scar her arm and has the freedom to do so, but it would really trouble me if she were to actually have it. Experiences or help is well appreciated, I'm really at a loss here. |
| When the voice from the shadows calls you When the wind whips past your ears Will you stand when the weight is upon you Or will you go to your knees in fear? |
| Her body is hers. If she wants a tattoo you should let her have one. What does it matter if there is a tattoo on her arm anywho? :? |
| Why the fuck do you have a girlfriend? Ok, that aside, let her have it. It's just an arm tattoo. You'll get used to it pretty soon. |
| I also hate tattoos and body piercings, and I would never date a girl with one. I would give her an ultimatum. Tell her you'll leave her if she gets the tattoo. If she really cares about you, she won't get the tattoo. Also, I'm sick of all these libtards saying that people should accept this "Tattoo/body piercing" fad that's on the go. They like being complimented about their tattoos, but if someone says they don't like them, they act as if you're the second coming of hitler. Libtards can't take criticism for some reason. People have every right to dislike tattoos and body piercings. |
_-_Sally_-_Feb 3, 2017 12:15 PM
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| It's really not that big a deal, if she hates it she can just get it removed later and if it really bothers you that much just break up with her. |
| I feel like the best thing you could do is openly talk about this with her. Let her know you'll respect her choice in the end, but don't hide your disapproval either. Hope it works out for you. |
Seiya said: I also hate tattoos and body piercings, and I would never date a girl with one. I would give her an ultimatum. Tell her you'll leave her if she gets the tattoo. If she really cares about you, she won't get the tattoo. That seems quite petty though, I mean if she wanted to get tattoos all over her body and pierce everything she could and wreck her body than sure, break up with her, but over one tattoo that she could just remove if she hates it? I dunno it seems pretty extreme to break up with her. Also ultimatums are awful things to do to someone why not just talk with her about why she wants to get one and why you wouldn't like it if she got one. |
| Well, all you have to do is ask yourself a simple question. Is it a shitty or a good band? |
Absol said: Seiya said: I also hate tattoos and body piercings, and I would never date a girl with one. I would give her an ultimatum. Tell her you'll leave her if she gets the tattoo. If she really cares about you, she won't get the tattoo. That seems quite petty though, I mean if she wanted to get tattoos all over her body and pierce everything she could and wreck her body than sure, break up with her, but over one tattoo that she could just remove if she hates it? I dunno it seems pretty extreme to break up with her. Also ultimatums are awful things to do to someone why not just talk with her about why she wants to get one and why you wouldn't like it if she got one. To me, tattoos are disgusting, regardless of what they are. Sure you can talk it over with her, but today's women seem to think that they can do anything they want, and everyone should be forced to tolerate it. You're a bit young to understand how the world works. |
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| I think a small logo on an arm wont hurt anything, Its mot like shes getting a sleeve. |
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| So you don't like tattoos, right? But she does? Welcome to relationships! Where taste is never perfectly aligned as you may think. All because you don't like something doesn't mean she should just change her interests as a person. Think about it this way, there are plenty of other things in life you can be worried about instead.  |
Seiya said: I would give her an ultimatum. Tell her you'll leave her if she gets the tattoo. If she really cares about you, she won't get the tattoo. Also, I'm sick of all these libtards saying that people should accept this "Tattoo/body piercing" fad that's on the go. They like being complimented about their tattoos, but if someone says they don't like them, they act as if you're the second coming of hitler. Libtards can't take criticism for some reason. People have every right to dislike tattoos and body piercings. Well to be fair, it's criticism when you have good arguments and facts supporting them. I can't really explain what it is that disgusts me about tattoo's, similarly to why most people take them, simply because they "like" them. But I do agree that it's becoming more and more apparent that as soon as you badmouth someone with a tattoo or piercing, you're old-fashioned (I'm 22, lol), unimaginative or whatever, I really dislike this development in society. Absol said: It's really not that big a deal, if she hates it she can just get it removed later and if it really bothers you that much just break up with her. Suna_Kujira said: I feel like the best thing you could do is openly talk about this with her. Let her know you'll respect her choice in the end, but don't hide your disapproval either. Hope it works out for you. Thanks, I hope so too xd. Absol said: Seiya said: I also hate tattoos and body piercings, and I would never date a girl with one. I would give her an ultimatum. Tell her you'll leave her if she gets the tattoo. If she really cares about you, she won't get the tattoo. That seems quite petty though, I mean if she wanted to get tattoos all over her body and pierce everything she could and wreck her body than sure, break up with her, but over one tattoo that she could just remove if she hates it? I dunno it seems pretty extreme to break up with her. Also ultimatums are awful things to do to someone why not just talk with her about why she wants to get one and why you wouldn't like it if she got one. Ultimatums are fucking terrible. I'll never force something like that on her, because I perfectly know how shitty it is being one, or part of one. The problem with talking about it feels like I'm not getting anywhere. She's pretty steadfast about her "body-decorating", and me hating everything about it is kinda part of who I am. She has a nose piercing, she got it sometime before we got close to each other but after we met for the first time, and considering I had nothing to do with that, I don't see the use of making a fuzz about it now. But it still stands out to me, imagine what a tattoo would do, especially since I'll be there when she gets it. *shiver* |
| When the voice from the shadows calls you When the wind whips past your ears Will you stand when the weight is upon you Or will you go to your knees in fear? |
Max-Senpai said: Seiya said: I would give her an ultimatum. Tell her you'll leave her if she gets the tattoo. If she really cares about you, she won't get the tattoo. Also, I'm sick of all these libtards saying that people should accept this "Tattoo/body piercing" fad that's on the go. They like being complimented about their tattoos, but if someone says they don't like them, they act as if you're the second coming of hitler. Libtards can't take criticism for some reason. People have every right to dislike tattoos and body piercings. Well to be fair, it's criticism when you have good arguments and facts supporting them. I can't really explain what it is that disgusts me about tattoo's, similarly to why most people take them, simply because they "like" them. But I do agree that it's becoming more and more apparent that as soon as you badmouth someone with a tattoo or piercing, you're old-fashioned (I'm 22, lol), unimaginative or whatever, I really dislike this development in society. Absol said: It's really not that big a deal, if she hates it she can just get it removed later and if it really bothers you that much just break up with her. Suna_Kujira said: I feel like the best thing you could do is openly talk about this with her. Let her know you'll respect her choice in the end, but don't hide your disapproval either. Hope it works out for you. Thanks, I hope so too xd. Absol said: That seems quite petty though, I mean if she wanted to get tattoos all over her body and pierce everything she could and wreck her body than sure, break up with her, but over one tattoo that she could just remove if she hates it? I dunno it seems pretty extreme to break up with her. Also ultimatums are awful things to do to someone why not just talk with her about why she wants to get one and why you wouldn't like it if she got one. Ultimatums are fucking terrible. I'll never force something like that on her, because I perfectly know how shitty it is being one, or part of one. The problem with talking about it feels like I'm not getting anywhere. She's pretty steadfast about her "body-decorating", and me hating everything about it is kinda part of who I am. She has a nose piercing, she got it sometime before we got close to each other but after we met for the first time, and considering I had nothing to do with that, I don't see the use of making a fuzz about it now. But it still stands out to me, imagine what a tattoo would do, especially since I'll be there when she gets it. *shiver* How you can tolerate her nose piercing is beyond me, as I would never even consider dating a girl with a body piercing. This girl is only going to get worse, so you can either stay with her and suffer, or leave her, because if she gets that tattoo, you're going to cringe every single time you look at her, and you deserve better than that. |
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Seiya said: How you can tolerate her nose piercing is beyond me, as I would never even consider dating a girl with a body piercing. This girl is only going to get worse, so you can either stay with her and suffer, or leave her, because if she gets that tattoo, you're going to cringe every single time you look at her, and you deserve better than that. I guess you could say she's worth it? I'm really glad to have her, and she's glad to have me. But it's as you say, on the topic of piercings and tattoo's, the only way this could go is downhill, which I'm looking to prevent. Her getting a tattoo would really make me think long and hard about "us" though, as (seemingly unlike some others in this thread) it's a big deal to me. |
| When the voice from the shadows calls you When the wind whips past your ears Will you stand when the weight is upon you Or will you go to your knees in fear? |
Max-Senpai said: Seiya said: How you can tolerate her nose piercing is beyond me, as I would never even consider dating a girl with a body piercing. This girl is only going to get worse, so you can either stay with her and suffer, or leave her, because if she gets that tattoo, you're going to cringe every single time you look at her, and you deserve better than that. I guess you could say she's worth it? I'm really glad to have her, and she's glad to have me. But it's as you say, on the topic of piercings and tattoo's, the only way this could go is downhill, which I'm looking to prevent. Her getting a tattoo would really make me think long and hard about "us" though, as (seemingly unlike some others in this thread) it's a big deal to me. I would suggest doing whatever you can to change her mind on getting the tattoo. Show her some pictures of "Infected Tattoos" and that might turn her off. Also show her how quickly a tattoo can fade if gets too much time in the sun. If you keep at it, she'll hopefully change her mind, and not get the tattoo at all. |
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| be without her then its okay to have deal breakers why put up with something that will inevitabily lead to resentment on either side |
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Seiya said: I would suggest doing whatever you can to change her mind on getting the tattoo. Show her some pictures of "Infected Tattoos" and that might turn her off. Also show her how quickly a tattoo can fade if gets too much time in the sun. If you keep at it, she'll hopefully change her mind, and not get the tattoo at all. That looks really desperate lol. I really hope her respecting my stance on the whole thing will be enough, especially considering the sacrifices I made for her. Thanks anyway, I might give that a try if all else fails. |
| When the voice from the shadows calls you When the wind whips past your ears Will you stand when the weight is upon you Or will you go to your knees in fear? |
| How much does it bother you? Is this a case of, you are absolutely disgusted by them, or just a "Oh, well i don't really like them." If this is a big deal, tell her. Describe to her how much this means to you, how you feel about it and such. If it isn't a big deal, let her. If it is a big deal and she goes through with it despite you describing to her how it makes you feel, how you feel about them and such...that just means to her, her tattoo means more to her then your opinion...and that's a big deal in itself. |
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| I agree with you, I also despise tattoos, I have no primal urge to have any tribal markings upon my body. Yet, a lot of people do. I just think it ruins a person's looks, especially if it's a good looking girl with nice skin, why mark yourself that way. If it was some ugly biker dude though, then it would be OK I guess. However, since the hipsters have brainwashed people into thinking that tattoos are a way too kewl fashion accessory, there probably isn't too much you can do about this save for finding another girlfriend. |
Max-Senpai said: Hi MAL, After Googling for days and talking about it with people IRL I decided to turn to you because I need advice. To cut to the chase: My girlfriend wants a tattoo, and well, I hate the things. I'm well aware of how people can have (deep) personal meaning attached to them and whatnot, but that doesn't make it any less ugly for me. She wants a band logo on her arm (idk precisely where), so I don't know about the "deep personal meaning" here, lol. We spoke about my stance regarding piercings and such once, but we didn't really touch tattoos. I don't want to drive something like a wedge between us because she wants to scar her arm and has the freedom to do so, but it would really trouble me if she were to actually have it. Experiences or help is well appreciated, I'm really at a loss here. First of all, asking MAL for an advice is the first and foremost error you made. Secondly, wouldn't it be great to have your face in a tattoo version and then when you broke-up, she'd be like "I wanna rip-off this arm of mine now" Also, just follow what the "people irl" said. Much more real than the ppl here on MAL...xD |
Max-Senpai said: ...I'm well aware of how people can have (deep) personal meaning attached to them and whatnot, but that doesn't make it any less ugly for me. Yeah, it's kind of her call on this since she's tattooing herself and not you or a pet. Hard stance to take on this one... Max-Senpai said: She wants a band logo on her arm (idk precisely where), so I don't know about the "deep personal meaning" here, lol. annnnnnd here's the key point to the whole thing. Unless you are IN said band, the only thing dumber than a band tattoo is a non-relative's name (boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse) and religious tattoos as a close 2nd. Somewhere in the USA there is a guy with a Poison tattoo who can't even show it off because Subway won't let him have visible tattoos while making sandwiches. If she's dense enough to get a band tattoo, and this is coming from someone who is a musician, she's not worth wasting time on. I probably sound like a jerk, but whatever. |
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| lmao you can tell her you dont like it but if she wants one she'll get one, and she has the right to, just like i have the right to devour children start stamp collecting. |
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TheUnknownMerc said: How much does it bother you? Is this a case of, you are absolutely disgusted by them, or just a "Oh, well i don't really like them." If this is a big deal, tell her. Describe to her how much this means to you, how you feel about it and such. If it isn't a big deal, let her. If it is a big deal and she goes through with it despite you describing to her how it makes you feel, how you feel about them and such...that just means to her, her tattoo means more to her then your opinion...and that's a big deal in itself. If it wasn't a big deal I wouldn't have made this threat I suppose. And yes, you're right. PeppermintHearts said: I agree with you, I also despise tattoos, I have no primal urge to have any tribal markings upon my body. Yet, a lot of people do. I just think it ruins a person's looks, especially if it's a good looking girl with nice skin, why mark yourself that way. If it was some ugly biker dude though, then it would be OK I guess. However, since the hipsters have brainwashed people into thinking that tattoos are a way too kewl fashion accessory, there probably isn't too much you can do about this save for finding another girlfriend. Until I saw you and Seiya's comments I really thought I was a minority thinking like this lol. |
| When the voice from the shadows calls you When the wind whips past your ears Will you stand when the weight is upon you Or will you go to your knees in fear? |
Max-Senpai said: TheUnknownMerc said: How much does it bother you? Is this a case of, you are absolutely disgusted by them, or just a "Oh, well i don't really like them." If this is a big deal, tell her. Describe to her how much this means to you, how you feel about it and such. If it isn't a big deal, let her. If it is a big deal and she goes through with it despite you describing to her how it makes you feel, how you feel about them and such...that just means to her, her tattoo means more to her then your opinion...and that's a big deal in itself. If it wasn't a big deal I wouldn't have made this threat I suppose. And yes, you're right. PeppermintHearts said: I agree with you, I also despise tattoos, I have no primal urge to have any tribal markings upon my body. Yet, a lot of people do. I just think it ruins a person's looks, especially if it's a good looking girl with nice skin, why mark yourself that way. If it was some ugly biker dude though, then it would be OK I guess. However, since the hipsters have brainwashed people into thinking that tattoos are a way too kewl fashion accessory, there probably isn't too much you can do about this save for finding another girlfriend. Until I saw you and Seiya's comments I really thought I was a minority thinking like this lol. Them talk to her and let her know how it makes you feel and that you would really prefer her not getting one. |
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| You get posters or t-shits of your favorite bands. Getting a tattoo of your favorite band is about the same thing as getting one of your favorite anime. |
| Let her do it, if a simple tattoo brings a wedge between you two then how are you still together?? Support her even if you don't like it, but make sure that she has thought about if a lot. |
"At some point, I stopped hoping." |
| Well it's hard to stop her if she wants it. Tattoos are really not that big of a deal, I would just try to get over it. Call me back if your girlfriend wants to murder someone. Also, think about it: do you love your girlfriend more than you despise tattoos? If not, you might want to reconsider your relationship. Keep in mind that I have zero romantic experience but that's my advice |
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Seiya said: Also, I'm sick of all these libtards saying that people should accept this "Tattoo/body piercing" fad that's on the go. They like being complimented about their tattoos, but if someone says they don't like them, they act as if you're the second coming of hitler. Libtards can't take criticism for some reason. Tattoos and piercings have been around for literally thousands of years...not exactly a fad. |
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| people should accept this tattoo/body piercing fad. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Also, what Bobby2Hands said, but hey, that's not shitposting and I like shitposting. |
Prophetess of the Golden Era  |
Bobby2Hands said: Seiya said: Also, I'm sick of all these libtards saying that people should accept this "Tattoo/body piercing" fad that's on the go. They like being complimented about their tattoos, but if someone says they don't like them, they act as if you're the second coming of hitler. Libtards can't take criticism for some reason. Tattoos and piercings have been around for literally thousands of years...not exactly a fad. But they weren't a mainstream thing here in the west until the late 1990s. Prior to that, only bikers, sailors and gang members had tattoos. |
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Seiya said: Bobby2Hands said: Tattoos and piercings have been around for literally thousands of years...not exactly a fad. But they weren't a mainstream thing here in the west until the late 1990s. Prior to that, only bikers, sailors and gang members had tattoos. Nonsense, I know people over the age of 60 who got tattoos and piercings when they were teenagers, and they definitely weren't sailors or bikers. Look at any rock band from the 70's onwards. |
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Seiya said: But they weren't a mainstream thing here in the west until the late 1990s. Prior to that, only bikers, sailors and gang members had tattoos. Tons of ex-soldiers have had them to honor their lost brethren for nearly a hundred years. |
| When the voice from the shadows calls you When the wind whips past your ears Will you stand when the weight is upon you Or will you go to your knees in fear? |
Max-Senpai said: Seiya said: But they weren't a mainstream thing here in the west until the late 1990s. Prior to that, only bikers, sailors and gang members had tattoos. Tons of ex-soldiers have had them to honor their lost brethren for nearly a hundred years. Soldiers are a minority. Prior to the late 1990s, less than 1% of the North American population had any tattoos. |
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Max-Senpai said: Seiya said: But they weren't a mainstream thing here in the west until the late 1990s. Prior to that, only bikers, sailors and gang members had tattoos. Tons of ex-soldiers have had them to honor their lost brethren for nearly a hundred years. Indeed. Squads getting matching tattoos was common in WW2. Seiya said: Max-Senpai said: Tons of ex-soldiers have had them to honor their lost brethren for nearly a hundred years. Soldiers are a minority. Prior to the late 1990s, less than 1% of the North American population had any tattoos. And there was a time less than 1% of the North American population would be seen in polite company not wearing a hat. Fashions change, deal with it. |
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| I personally believe that tattoo's only belong on Sailors, Prisoners, and Pigmey's. So I agree with you op. I'd never date a Woman covered in tattoo's Your in between a rock and a hard place OP. When Women get it in their minds they want something there's no stopping them. You're just going to have to accept it. All you can do now is damage control i.e. talk her into getting a small one, or where it can be covered up so she can a least be employed in the future. |
Bobby2Hands said: Max-Senpai said: Tons of ex-soldiers have had them to honor their lost brethren for nearly a hundred years. Indeed. Squads getting matching tattoos was common in WW2. Seiya said: Soldiers are a minority. Prior to the late 1990s, less than 1% of the North American population had any tattoos. And there was a time less than 1% of the North American population wouldn't be seen in polite company not wearing a hat. Fashions change, deal with it. No, I will not deal with it. Instead, I will continue to hate and discriminate against people who have tattoos and body piercings, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. |
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Seiya said: Bobby2Hands said: Indeed. Squads getting matching tattoos was common in WW2. And there was a time less than 1% of the North American population wouldn't be seen in polite company not wearing a hat. Fashions change, deal with it. No, I will not deal with it. Instead, I will continue to hate and discriminate against people who have tattoos and body piercings, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. What makes you hate them so much? Are the only ones you've seen really bad ones or something? I mean i agree with you that the bad ones are ugly, but some of them look really nice. |
Absol said: Seiya said: No, I will not deal with it. Instead, I will continue to hate and discriminate against people who have tattoos and body piercings, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. What makes you hate them so much? Are the only ones you've seen really bad ones or something? I mean i agree with you that the bad ones are ugly, but some of them look really nice. Well, besides the fact that tattoos look like "Indistinguishable Dirt" from a distance, I cannot achieve erection for a girl who has a tattoo or body piercing, thus making the girl useless. |
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Cbr_Star said: All you can do now is damage control i.e. talk her into getting a small one, or where it can be covered up so she can a least be employed in the future. This is actually one of the concerns I have. Multiple people in my family had severe issues with employment because of their... Quite exotic tattoos. As accepted as it is in modern society as a whole, it's still major taboo in any workplace where you come into direct contact with customers due to the stereotypes that come along with it. |
| When the voice from the shadows calls you When the wind whips past your ears Will you stand when the weight is upon you Or will you go to your knees in fear? |
shotz said: tbf i hate everything i can't get a boner for too. that's a reasonable opinion right? Would you date someone if you couldn't get an erection for them? |
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Seiya said: Absol said: What makes you hate them so much? Are the only ones you've seen really bad ones or something? I mean i agree with you that the bad ones are ugly, but some of them look really nice. Well, besides the fact that tattoos look like "Indistinguishable Dirt" from a distance, I cannot achieve erection for a girl who has a tattoo or body piercing, thus making the girl useless. eh, guess it just goes to show we all have our own tastes. |
demonskul777 said: Her body is hers. If she wants a tattoo you should let her have one. What does it matter if there is a tattoo on her arm anywho? :? Yes, she has that right, but she also has no reason to complain if when she gets one her boyfriend loses all attraction towards her. I can live with one or two tattoos if they're small, tactful, and in a place that's generally hidden (i.e. ankle), but tattoos are a big turn-off for me. It feels like they're desecrating their own body. Girls-- and men too-- are better natural without ink and silver and plastic surgery and other shit on their body. |
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shotz said: no but i wouldn't necessarily hate or discriminate against them for that reason either. Accepting something that you dislike is no way to live. When you encounter something you dislike, you should make fuss about it. Seeing women with rings in their noses all the time makes me sick to my stomach. One of these days, I'm going to go up to them, and yank those rings rights out, and I will enjoy hearing them shrieking in pain. |
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| How are tattoos a turn off lol you really think you're going to mind it? They aren't such a big deal and body modification is indeed part of the human experience. |
| I CELEBRATE myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you. |
xrockxz89 said: How are tattoos a turn off lol you really think you're going to mind it? They aren't such a big deal and body modification is indeed part of the human experience. Lol, no it's not. It's more like "Body Mutilation." The proper definition of the "Human Experience," is being born, eating, shitting food out, sleeping and then dying some day. |
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Veronin said: demonskul777 said: Her body is hers. If she wants a tattoo you should let her have one. What does it matter if there is a tattoo on her arm anywho? :? Yes, she has that right, but she also has no reason to complain if when she gets one her boyfriend loses all attraction towards her. I can live with one or two tattoos if they're small, tactful, and in a place that's generally hidden (i.e. ankle), but tattoos are a big turn-off for me. It feels like they're desecrating their own body. Girls-- and men too-- are better natural without ink and silver and plastic surgery and other shit on their body. But if humans are a product of nature why would you consider a product of humans not a product of nature? There is nothing unnatural about decorating a body. In such a sense you might as well say that getting a haircut is unnatural, or wearing clothes is unnatural. I don't understand how people have such a hard time watching beyond superficialities, isn't the emotional bond with the person you love what matters? Will a tattoo make touching their body different? Will a tattoo change whom they are as a person? If you already fail to love someone if they change their appearance do you love them? I don't think I would mind if my boyfriend stopped being attracted to me, if he thought like that. |
Max-Senpai said: Cbr_Star said: All you can do now is damage control i.e. talk her into getting a small one, or where it can be covered up so she can a least be employed in the future. This is actually one of the concerns I have. Multiple people in my family had severe issues with employment because of their... Quite exotic tattoos. As accepted as it is in modern society as a whole, it's still major taboo in any workplace where you come into direct contact with customers due to the stereotypes that come along with it. There used to be this famous tattoo artist that lived down the street from me. Who had been doing tattoo's since the 1950's. I was talking to him once. And he was telling me that he still refused to do a tattoo anywhere that was visible and couldn't be covered up with clothing. The reason being is that until recently only convicts would have visible tattoo's on their hands etc, because prison was the only place you could get them. He also said that people lives change. When you're 20 it's OK to have a bohemian lifestyle, but when your older and have kids etc, a tattoo can stop you from moving up the corporate ladder. And he didn't want to be involved in someones "Mistake" |
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