| I use to be really pretty, but a few years ago I contracted West Nile virus. My hair & skin haven't been the same since. I have ugly scars on my face, neck, arms & legs. My hair is also frizzy & "Dead" looking. I tried so many things to improve the aftermath, but nothing has helped. I feel SO UGLY now :( I tried putting on more makeup, but there is really nothing that cover the "Ugliness" I see & feel now. My husband says I'm just as pretty as always, but I know that's just a lie to make me (and probably himself) feel better. I've developed a somewhat bad drinking habit to cope with my feelings because I really see no alternative at this point. Since I was a baby my family had me doing modeling & acting, so I've always been told "You need to be pretty, You need to look good, You need to look Hot, No one pays attention to ugly girls, Ugly girls go nowhere" It's really fucking my head up now because I'm not "Pretty" anymore. I feel like all the potential I had was stolen from me. I guess what I'm asking is, How do you cope with life as an ugly girl? Honestly, the only good thing I've found so far is being able to walk down the street without being harassed by every guy who passes. |
| Ahem. (In the voice of 90% of the posters of casual discussion forum) WHET TEH FUDDD.... Dis treahad is r sexest end rong !!! me am male and shud not be discrimnaet. Pls ar to not hatres of men bc that is sexyst!!! (/voice) Ok now on topic. I feel SO UGLY now Maybe if you told us what you looked like, we could provide an actual insight. How you "FEEL" is irrelevant. Whether you are or are not attractive is what matters. etc. |
Scavrefamn said: Ahem. (In the voice of 90% of the posters of casual discussion forum) WHET TEH FUDDD.... Dis treahad is r sexest end rong !!! me am male and shud not be discrimnaet. Pls ar to not hatres of men bc that is sexyst!!! (/voice) Ok now on topic. No, it's not sexist. Anyone can post, but since several girls in this subculture consider themselves as being "Unattractive" I would like to have their opinions on the subject. If you wanna say something, That's fine. Go right ahead.... |
Septic_Smile said: No, it's not sexist. Actually by definition, it is sexist ... but that's not a bad thing because by definition, men and women are different. That jab/joke was not directed at you but the vast myriad of posters that lose their shit whenever I post something like "Men, what do you think of X". What you did is fine and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. If you wanna say something, That's fine Already did. Can't help you unless it is known what we are working with... I would put money on it that you are more attractive than the average female but are probably too (insert word here) to realize it. Conversely, you know you are attractive but want to boost your ego by getting compliments in an online forum. This is less likely but still a possibility. Again, I'd be willing to put money on it that you look adequate. |
| If what you say is true, your family should be ashamed because of those things they said to you. I believe that beauty isn't everything and that every person is beautiful in their own way. If you're getting harassed the only thing to do is just ignore, it's as simple as that.. put your headphones on and just don't give a fuck about fuckers who who say shit. |
vodall said: I don't think you should try so hard to fight your appearance. Sorry if that sounds insensitive, but learning to live with it should be your first priority. Putting on some makeup is fine, but any more than the average is probably unnecessary. You're you, and that's more than enough. Gender roles roles are tough, especially when it comes to beauty standards, but don't let them get to you. If anyone treats you poorly because of how you look, they're just an asshole. And hey, you can always tell them what you went through; it'll definitely make them feel guilty. Thank you for the honest opinion. I try to accept it, but it's very hard for me with how I've been raised to feel about Physical appearance. |
crashinho said: If what you say is true, your family should be ashamed because of those things they said to you. I believe that beauty isn't everything and that every person is beautiful in their own way. If you're getting harassed the only thing to do is just ignore, it's as simple as that.. put your headphones on and just don't give a fuck about fuckers who who say shit. As E-Dubble would say "Put your headphones on & drink till you pass out" Thank you for the honest opinion :) |
crashinho said: every person is beautiful Pure unadulterated loser talk. Not everyone is beautiful, not even in "their own way", some people are attractive, others are not. Period. Fullstop. End paragraph. It is immature (putting it kindly) to think otherwise. But, and here is the advanced lesson, it is not a requirement to be attractive to go through life, nor is it relevant. Men have incredibly low standards, so even a female that is 4 or 3 out of 10 will have men chasing her. (Dating) Websites have studies that show men rate the majority of women as 'Above Average' whereas women rate the *overwhelming* majority of men as 'Very bad' (Not even below average). It's not complicated. You are adequate, young female. |
Septic_Smile said: I use to be really pretty, but a few years ago I contracted West Nile virus. My hair & skin haven't been the same since. I have ugly scars on my face, neck, arms & legs. My hair is also frizzy & "Dead" looking. I tried so many things to improve the aftermath, but nothing has helped. I feel SO UGLY now :( I tried putting on more makeup, but there is really nothing that cover the "Ugliness" I see & feel now. My husband says I'm just as pretty as always, but I know that's just a lie to make me (and probably himself) feel better. I've developed a somewhat bad drinking habit to cope with my feelings because I really see no alternative at this point. Since I was a baby my family had me doing modeling & acting, so I've always been told "You need to be pretty, You need to look good, You need to look Hot, No one pays attention to ugly girls, Ugly girls go nowhere" It's really fucking my head up now because I'm not "Pretty" anymore. I feel like all the potential I had was stolen from me. I guess what I'm asking is, How do you cope with life as an ugly girl? Honestly, the only good thing I've found so far is being able to walk down the street without being harassed by every guy who passes. Well i'm not a girl but I can offer you some things health wise to try like for example oolong tea is very good for your skin and skin problems as well if your not a fan of drinking the more woody types there are some flower types of oolong tea which are much more easy to drink. You could look up a treatment called tiger thermie warmer chinese treatment for scar removal as well. Another treatment that I personally use on skin cuts, scars and such is i have a water purifier which does high acidic water its labeled beauty water but its PH 2.5-3.0 water not really used for drinking instead you wash your face with it and it makes your skin really smooth and removes marks and things its worth a try. But your mindset is gonna be the biggest thing too. If you put yourself down your causing your own depression. Your husband mostlikely didn't marry you just for your looks much more goes into that because most relationships that are only founded on looks really don't last. I mean I wouldn't wanna wake up next to someone who was hot looking but had the intelligence of a rock. The model industry pretty much sets what girls are sapposed to be really high and while I have some model friends the longer they stay in the business the more unpleasent they become because they don't respect other people who they feel aren't as "pretty" "beautiful" or good looking as they are. But thats my own oppinion on the subject. There's a lot of really pretty girls out there who will never be considered pretty enough to be a model but in the eyes of most guys they are very pretty. |
| You're less likely to be labelled "ugly" than an overweight woman is. People can see that what you have isn't within your control, so they're far less likely to think anything of it, whereas overweight women are seen as the absolute bottom of the barrel, the "girl that no one wants", the ones who get shunned and labelled lazy and all sorts. I'm the same as you in that I "used to be" attractive. I had a good figure, nice hair, nice face, not thin and not fat... and now I'm overweight. I've gone from being chatted up by random men to being openly laughed at just while walking down the street. And I don't care all that much any more. My boyfriend loves me whatever my size, and I don't want anyone's attention but his, and no one's opinions matter except his and my own. Beauty does not matter, and those who say it does should be ashamed of themselves, especially your parents for making you feel that way. As for your hair, use Joico branded products. Joico is what hairdressers use and it is FANTASTIC. Expensive, but very, very good. |
LiviraSep 21, 2015 1:59 PM
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| "Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain..." True beauty isn't a physical thing at all. I have known several gorgeous women whose rotten personalities made them truly ugly people. But have you ever met one of those people who were just sorta average in the looks department but they had a really brilliant personality that just made them shine? That's the kind of beauty we should all reach for. Be positive, be confident, focus outward. Work on that, and you will be a beautiful person. But to answer your specific question, sometimes laser treatments can eliminate or soften scarring. You may want to look into something like this. Don't know about the hair though. Hair is the bane of my existence. Maybe olive oil or something similar? |
| you disgust me |
| I think vodall said it all. There's very little we can say to make you feel better. Don't put pressure over yourself for something that is out of your control. Drinking is something you can control on the other hand, (since you mentionned it I guess it's bothering you), so if you want to help yourself that where you should focus your efforts ;). Be strong, we're with you :3 edit : that synchro and same content with Fintan lol. High five bro :p |
Prophetess of the Golden Era  |
| I would agree with vodall on just trying to be comfortable and happy with what you look like. You got a husband, and it sounds like he loves you. Remember that we age, so your looks would fade regardless. Just try to live a happy life as best you can, which yeah I know that can be really hard sometimes. Mostly though, be really careful with your drinking. Especially with drinking it's easy to brush it off as not a big deal, since it's legal and tons of people drink a lot. Being an addict myself, I have to warn you covering up your negative emotions with drugs or alcohol make it A LOT worse in the end. You might end up losing a lot more then your looks. I bet you're still hot. Women can be so critical of themselves. don't mean that in a mean way. |
| Could be worse, you could be fat. |
bolby said: Could be worse, you could be fat. Congrats on proving my point. |
| |
| i'm sure since the thought of having to be beautiful is heavily ingrained into your brain and has become part of your identity and nothing i say could convince you other wise. you could try genucel i always hear about it on the radio. never tried it myself so i don't know if it works or not. still worth looking into if you're interested. |
Kuromii said: bolby said: Could be worse, you could be fat. Congrats on proving my point. Well someone had to. |
| Scavrefam is beautiful, in his own way. |
| love how there's basically no girls in this thread. |
 |
| Yeah, a topic asks for girls help and who's there first ? THAT guy... |
Prophetess of the Golden Era |
Donger_Senpai said: love how there's basically no girls in this thread. Old joke but; Welcome to the internet, where men are men, women are men ... and children are FBI agents. |
vodall said: I don't think you should try so hard to fight your appearance. Sorry if that sounds insensitive, but learning to live with it should be your first priority. Putting on some makeup is fine, but any more than the average is probably unnecessary. You're you, and that's more than enough. Gender roles roles are tough, especially when it comes to beauty standards, but don't let them get to you. If anyone treats you poorly because of how you look, they're just an asshole. And hey, you can always tell them what you went through; it'll definitely make them feel guilty. Very good post here. People that do try to fight their appearance so obstinately, usually end up ruining themselves even further mentally. Sometimes even physically as well, such as those that keep having plastic surgery operations one after the other, in an attempt to reach that "ideal" image they have of themselves in their head. |
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| Turning ugly means your life is over. Nothing can fix it. /thread If you really want attention, you can focus on other things like the fact that you haven't cured cancer or created useful programming or found an efficient way to colonize mars. I am sure people can overlook your looks if you somehow do something worth noting. |
| Signature removed. Please follow the signature rules, as defined in the Site & Forum Guidelines. |
ostatecznie said: Turning ugly means your life is over. Nothing can fix it. /thread If you really want attention, you can focus on other things like the fact that you haven't cured cancer or created useful programming or found an efficient way to colonize mars. I am sure people can overlook your looks if you somehow do something worth noting. And what's your achievement ? Coming up with a dumb rating scale to break MAL ? It's certainly not a PhD in empathy... |
DeathkoSep 21, 2015 4:05 PM
Prophetess of the Golden Era |
| I'm sorry about what happened to you, babes. Instead of spending money on alcohol, I suggest saving up to get some work done... Just do your research. It is fixable. |
 |
| From what I read before one of the best thing to reduce scarring is silicone strips or gel. Its kind of expensive. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2918339/ Aside from that I heard the juice from the stem of pineapples which has bromelain in it helps with scars. I havent been able to find a good scientific paper on it though at the moment. Its possible you my be malnourished which may make your hair look weaker and the break which frizz out and would affect your skin appearance. Ive not tried it myself but there are low PH (acidic) shampoo / conditioners that close your hair shafts to make it look shinier and see if you can find sulfate free shampoo. Avoid blow drying your hair on heat it if you can. You probably dont look as bad as you think you do. A lot of people underrate their appearance. |
traedSep 21, 2015 4:29 PM
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Clebardman said: ostatecznie said: Turning ugly means your life is over. Nothing can fix it. /thread If you really want attention, you can focus on other things like the fact that you haven't cured cancer or created useful programming or found an efficient way to colonize mars. I am sure people can overlook your looks if you somehow do something worth noting. And what's your achievement ? Coming up with a dumb rating scale to break MAL ? It's certainly not a PhD in empathy... Uhhhh, op is asking for advice on "how to cope with being ugly" I gave appropriate advice that op may or may not use. Who knows. I am just here because I like to waste time. Not sure what a random reference to list scores have to with the topic, but it's certainly not helping op's issues that may or may not even be real. |
| Signature removed. Please follow the signature rules, as defined in the Site & Forum Guidelines. |
| Sure, if I was thinking "fuck I'm ugly" and discovered a cure for cancer, it would help me accept my look. I'll stop throwing spikes but it's tempting. |
Prophetess of the Golden Era |
| Hello! Firstly, yeah, makeup doesn't cover it all. It could fix the scar problem but you probably can't stay in the entertain mentioned industry. I know a lot of people who can have flawless looking skin with many layers of foundation and concealer so maybe you could continue researching how to cover them, for daily basis. Secondly, there are tons of things you could do in this world. If you still want to do something similar to acting without showing you face, get into the voice acting industry. You don't need to be pretty for that if your voice is enough. |
Septic_Smile said: I guess what I'm asking is, How do you cope with life as an ugly girl? Honestly, the only good thing I've found so far is being able to walk down the street without being harassed by every guy who passes. This right here makes me question the sincerity of your post, and reveals a very superficial attitude towards other people. |
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| post a selfie so we can judge |
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sullynathan said: post a selfie so we can judge dont be so judgmental sully. |
sullynathan said: post a selfie so we can judge She's too ashamed to probably |
| How do you cope with life as an ugly person? HAH. Okay. You don't, just be a decent human being thats it. Also...you have a husband..thats more than what a lot of us can expect in the future. Give it time, your life will go on and your scars will eventually fade. The problem here is that you base your value more on your looks rather than on who you are. |
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| Have you tried a psychologist? I hear they're better at consulting people than people on anime forums. |
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LionCake said: RedTie47 said: As you mentioned you have a husband. I'll dare to put my stake on him, that he loves you, regardless of your current appearance. Don't go pushing him away (or other support) with your doubts. It's normal to want to look as best you can. Research and do your best, just don't obsess over it. I'm not a girl but whatever, just my two cents. Good words, maestro. OP, your husband's love for you should be enough to fling you out of the 'self-pitying' state you're dwelling in right now. Once you're out of that, then be a better person for the person who loves you and who you love. Screw the rest; they don't know what you've been through. "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel. Every one sees what you appear to be, few really know what you are." - Machiavelli |
[i]"Yet each man kills the thing he loves, [/i]By each let this be heard, Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word, The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword!'' ~Oscar |
| Not to be mean but...get over it. Looks aren't everything. Get over the idea that they are & not let it determine your self-worth. |
| Well shit . . . Why are you married to your husband if you have so little faith in him? |
 |
Pirating_Ninja said: Well shit . . . Why are you married to your husband if you have so little faith in him? That was the first thing I noticed but refrained from stating the cold truth. |
[i]"Yet each man kills the thing he loves, [/i]By each let this be heard, Some do it with a bitter look, Some with a flattering word, The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword!'' ~Oscar |
| Maybe you can get some sort of laser treatment to cover up the scars if it's really bringing you down. |
| If you're really that insecure, all those things you've mentioned you can fix with just a few products. and I mean, that's if you REALLY REALLY feel like shit about yourself. Ugly girls learn to live with it. They've accepted themselves and they've accepted the fact that if anyone's going to love them, it's going to be for who they are and not how physically attractive. It's OKAY. You'll be okay. I'm heavingly sorry that your parents have conditioned you to think such a way, it's such bullshit that parents have kids and refuse to love them unconditionally. If you love yourself and you believe in yourself, you're okay. You have a husband who thinks you're fine just the way you are, who cares what others think? |
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| Think positively. |
| I'm kind of not sure if you're serious, but I'm pleasantly surprised by the number of serious replies to your post. So you've tried products, may have seen a dermatologist, and nothing helped, right? Then change what can be changed. You say your husband lies to make the both of you feel better. I don't know either of you, but that is not necessarily true. However, if you don't believe him, there's little he can do about that. You can try to, but I know how difficult it can be to believe people when you have your own ideas about the way you look. So try to change the way you look at yourself, and accept those scars as a part of you. Your husband doesn't seem to have a problem with them. And stop wasting money on alcohol and go see a counsellor or a psychologist, because your view on this is completely wrong, and there is an alternative: changing your attitude. Other girls' opinions aren't going to change anything. You need to work on that yourself. Now, parents and family have an incredibly big impact on us, so if all you've ever been told is that it's important to be pretty, then that mindset is going to be difficult to change. Difficult, but not impossible. There is so much more to people than just their looks. And if you've been spoiled with good looks all your life and if looks are all that matters to your family, then you've probably never learned how to use your other assets. When you're not considered pretty, you focus on your personality and intelligence. So try that. Also, not being pretty does not mean that you can't be attractive. I know plenty of people that I would never call beautiful or handsome, but there's something about the way they act and carry themselves that makes them attractive to others. What's unattractive, is wallowing in self-pity. So stop that and get over it. There's more to you than just your looks. |
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Septic_Smile said: I use to be really pretty, but a few years ago I contracted West Nile virus. My hair & skin haven't been the same since. I have ugly scars on my face, neck, arms & legs. My hair is also frizzy & "Dead" looking. I tried so many things to improve the aftermath, but nothing has helped. I feel SO UGLY now :( I tried putting on more makeup, but there is really nothing that cover the "Ugliness" I see & feel now. My husband says I'm just as pretty as always, but I know that's just a lie to make me (and probably himself) feel better. I've developed a somewhat bad drinking habit to cope with my feelings because I really see no alternative at this point. Since I was a baby my family had me doing modeling & acting, so I've always been told "You need to be pretty, You need to look good, You need to look Hot, No one pays attention to ugly girls, Ugly girls go nowhere" It's really fucking my head up now because I'm not "Pretty" anymore. I feel like all the potential I had was stolen from me. I guess what I'm asking is, How do you cope with life as an ugly girl? Honestly, the only good thing I've found so far is being able to walk down the street without being harassed by every guy who passes. So you have a husband that still loves you and wants to be with you. Then what is the problem? So what if you are not as pretty anymore? You weren't going to be very pretty for long anyway. You would have gotten old after a decade or two and not be attractive anymore. It just happened a little faster. Btw you seem to really be rude and demeaning to ugly girls though with the way you are talking. |
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