| Somebody once told me that people need 'problems' of their own to keep living, that it's a part of life of having problems, and when you have no problems that you'll search them. Well, I have everything to be happy. I have a sweet girlfriend, a nice family, good friends, I study at univ (although my grades are barely above the minimum), we do not have financial problems, I coach young soccer players, and I can keep on going on like this. Despite all these things, I have this feeling inside. A feeling you could call hollow. I procrastinate a lot, I lack motivation, I feel somewhat lonely. Sometimes, when I'm watching a daily-life anime, I wish that was me. Everything seems so bright, so simple. They have character, they don't lack motivation, they don't feel hollow inside. I know I shouldn't feel this way because I have everything to be happy... Does anyone on this forum have (had) a similar feeling? How did you handle it/cope with it? Did you do something about it? Not having this feeling? Discuss it anyway, what do you think about this? EDIT (2): Troughout this discussiong, a new question to myself rose: how to get over goals you could not reach, and how to find new ones? Did you ever had to do this? How did you do it? ~Hzj |
HaezejongkApr 13, 2013 1:23 PM
| Feel free to recommend me good romance (BL is fine!) or slices-of-life anime I haven't seen yet! |
| dont use daily life anime as escapes. make something of yourself in your own life instead. get goals, hobbies, etc. things that made me feel "alive" were: fighting - either on street, or when i used to box and practice tae kwon do. dont/cant get into fights anymore. i guess that's a good thing though, especially now when i'm older motorcycles both can be considered pretty dangerous though. now my ultimate goal is to go into space (srs) |
RandomChampionApr 13, 2013 12:49 PM
| Don't worry, your girlfriend is just good at hiding the fact she's cheating on you. You've got problems, you just are blissfully unaware of them. |
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| Step out of society and be someone awesome, only you can do it |
GhostonyApr 13, 2013 12:59 PM
| sexual incest in nisomonogatari - no one bats an eye romance incest in SAO - everyone loses their minds |
| I've experienced this quite a lot actually. It's called the "Emo phase" give it time and you'll be fine. If you experience urges to cut yourself (Or listen to asking Alexandra) and dye your hair black, that's perfectly normal. |
Sophilia said: [...] You can never be completely satisfied with what you have. It's just natural to want more[...] I've been trying to get rid of the idea of 'wanting more' and being happy with what I have. No succes so far, it's harder than it seemed. RandomChampion said: dont use daily life anime as escapes. make something of yourself in your own life instead [...] Well, that might be my 'problem' here. I had my future in mind: I was a quite good soccer player and this was my biggest passion. I decided to go into the Royal Military Academy an take university courses there to become an Officer. Then at a game one day, they hit me on the knee. All of my ligaments in my knee were tore off, Ihad the same accident again after 1 year of revalidation. No more soccer for me and not even the slightest chance to get past the medical examinations to become an officer. All of my dreams and the future I set for myself vanished. I thought becoming a soccer coach would be allright too, I thought that would fit into my 'new' future plans. It does not. It's just not the same. The same with the Univ course I'm taking now. It's not the same as trying to become an officer. All the goals I've set became unreachable. I know I have to search new goals, but I just can't get the first ones out of my mind. |
HaezejongkApr 13, 2013 12:57 PM
| Feel free to recommend me good romance (BL is fine!) or slices-of-life anime I haven't seen yet! |
| Anime will fill that void for you. Don't be an overachiever. |
| Come visit my town // I apologize in advance for my second-rate English Join my fan club // Improve the transport network |
Karpman said: A change in pace is needed to keep life spicy, so I guess since you have a stable life, and everything going for you, you get this feeling. Do something new is my suggestion, if you have the time that is. Ghostony said: Step outside of society and be someone awesome, only you can do it Without the intention to be offensive: easily said, hard to do. I tried, but fail every time. Procrastination being the biggest evildoer. What do you exactly mean by changing the pace? Doing something new? Pikachu_pandas said: [...] It's called the "Emo phase" give it time and you'll be fine. If you experience urges to cut yourself (Or listen to asking Alexandra) and dye your hair black, that's perfectly normal. I do not experienced those urges, and I hope I won't in the future. They don't sound very nice. TallonKarrde23 said: Don't worry, your girlfriend is just good at hiding the fact she's cheating on you. You've got problems, you just are blissfully unaware of them. *politely laughs* |
| Feel free to recommend me good romance (BL is fine!) or slices-of-life anime I haven't seen yet! |
Haezejongk said: Sophilia said: [...] You can never be completely satisfied with what you have. It's just natural to want more[...] I've been trying to get rid of the idea of 'wanting more' and being happy with what I have. No succes so far, it's harder than it seemed. RandomChampion said: dont use daily life anime as escapes. make something of yourself in your own life instead [...] Well, that might be my 'problem' here. I had my future in mind: I was a quite good soccer player and this was my biggest passion. I decided to go into the Royal Military Academy an take university courses there to become an Officer. Then at a game one day, they hit me on the knee. All of my ligaments in my knee were tore off, Ihad the same accident again after 1 year of revalidation. No more soccer for me and not even the slightest chance to get past the medical examinations to become an officer. All of my dreams and the future I set for myself vanished. I thought becoming a soccer coach would be allright too, I thought that would fit into my 'new' future plans. It does not. It's just not the same. The same with the Univ course I'm taking now. It's not the same as trying to become an officer. All the goals I've set became unreachable. I know I have to search new goals, but I just can't get the first ones out of my mind. damn man i'm really sorry to hear that. all of the ligaments in the knee were torn? there are 4 ligaments there (but two are more vital than the other two). sports medicine is BS. the recovery time for even one ligament injury should be 1 year+ for any athlete...the sports docs only care about when you "can" come back and not when you "should " come back. I dont want to give you any false hope, and I dont know about the specifics of your injury, but you should check to make sure if you are truly barred from joining the military as an officer. Knee ligament tears are serious, but that doesnt mean that they always wont heal 100% after a period of time. if you havent already, go get second opinions from top orthopedic surgeons (maybe even here in america if you can one day). there are some pretty amazing things being developed for knee injuries. might tak a while for them to become mainstream and healing processes, but you never know. but other then that, youre the only one who can come to terms your goals, both past and future. life rarely goes smoothly, and there are setbacks (some much bigger than others like in your case). at least you dont have to regret not trying. all i can advise is to keep fighting the good fight |
| Learn to overcome that feeling and try your best. Never give up till you try |
| "Currently playing the Game of of Life" Poppin Pills is All We Know - Antidote |
| You not having problems is a problem. Bam. You now have a problem. |
 |
RandomChampion said: damn man i'm really sorry to hear that. all of the ligaments in the knee were torn? [...] but you should check to make sure if you are truly barred from joining the military as an officer[...] All four of them got torn, aswell as 2 of 4 hamstrings. Got this accident again after 1 year of revalidation. Passing the checks is impossible for me, but I could do the job. That's the most frustrating thing of all. The medical checks are way to strict. Sometimes I feel like, if I didn't go to the game that day, I would have had a better life now. Ridiculous, but it keeps coming back. RandomChampion said: [...] but other then that, youre the only one who can come to terms your goals, both past and future. life rarely goes smoothly, and there are setbacks (some much bigger than others like in your case). at least you dont have to regret not trying. all i can advise is to keep fighting the good fight -Fuji- said: Learn to overcome that feeling and try your best. Never give up till you try I appreciate it. But getting started to fight for your goals and trying to overcome goals I could not reach is hard. And as I'm not really having a goal, it seems pointless to fight or try, even if I know it's not pointless. I chose the course I'm taking at univ right now, just because I had to do something, not really because I want it. This is my one-to-last year, but I lack motivation because ending this course isn't a primary goal for me. This might contribute to the 'problem. EDIT: edited the OP. |
| Feel free to recommend me good romance (BL is fine!) or slices-of-life anime I haven't seen yet! |
| Hm. I think it happens to me every final. I literally have nothing to do after those things are done. I just sit down for an hour and think, "Is this what it really boils down to? Some stupid comprehensive test that proves I remembered some (relatively) useless information?" And so I get hit with that feeling for about a week, feeling like a husk. And then for some reason, I snap out of it. I realize "Fuck, loans, I need to get a job," or "Gandhi damn it, I need to go get through some rough shit again next year." Something, anything, to spark me into anxiety for the future. Which is usually followed by laughter and/or anger. "Man, people are fucking stupid," and "HAHAHAHA, this animay so funneh." Bam, I'm out of my husk. OP, I really don't know how to help you; that's just how I get out of them anyway. Just experience emotions seems to get me out. Well, that, and my constant realization that I'm living the good life, so I should probably stop bitching (not aimed at you, but well, yeah) |
| @OP: What you need to do is find something that satisfies you. Either that or play chess. Chess is epic. |
| わたしはりんごがすきです. あなた は バカ です :3 |
MellowJello said: [...] I literally have nothing to do after those things are done. I just sit down for an hour and think, "Is this what it really boils down to? Some stupid comprehensive test that proves I remembered some (relatively) useless information?" [...] This is about what I'm feeling. MellowJello said: [...] And then for some reason, I snap out of it. I realize "Fuck, loans, I need to get a job," or "Gandhi damn it, I need to go get through some rough shit again next year." Something, anything, to spark me into anxiety for the future. [...] That's great. I love it when people can get motivated for the future! A beautiful characteristic. My girlfriend is also like this. She can motivate herself by things she has to do, sadly I'm not one of those people. I know I have to get stuff done, to get things moving. But I don't get started. MellowJello said: [...] OP, I really don't know how to help you; that's just how I get out of them anyway. Just experience emotions seems to get me out. Well, that, and my constant realization that I'm living the good life, so I should probably stop bitching (not aimed at you, but well, yeah) Well, I get the feeling I should stop bitching because, like I said in the OP, I'm living a good life. I'll try to concentrate on my emotions/the life I live right now. It might help. Thanks! |
| Feel free to recommend me good romance (BL is fine!) or slices-of-life anime I haven't seen yet! |
YuiLovesUi said: @OP: What you need to do is find something that satisfies you. Either that or play chess. Chess is epic. Do I -between those lines- find an invitation to an online chess match up? Bring it on! :-) |
| Feel free to recommend me good romance (BL is fine!) or slices-of-life anime I haven't seen yet! |
| The point of life is filling that hollow, and no one will ever be able to do it. Just keep watching anime and stuff, there's nothing else to do about it. |
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| Then make some problems to keep you occupied. Murder someone and make sure to leave some loose threads, and voila, you'll have a major problem to keep you entertained with. |
| As others said, you probably just have a very cozy life filled with routines which can leave you searching for something more, something to overcome. I've had this feeling for the past two years but I'm heading to University next year so I'm hoping this will be enough change to bring some excitement into my life. |
Red_Keys said: You not having problems is a problem. Bam. You now have a problem. Dat catch-22. On topic: From a psychological standpoint, you've satisfied most of the your basic needs as a human - food, shelter, social intimacy. Consider yourself lucky. Most people spend their entire lives trying to satisfy these basic needs. You now have the privilege to pursue a self-motivated passion. Try different activities and surely you will find something you are motivated to excel in. For your reference: read about Maslow's hierarchy of needs: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs Or, just stay with the status quo and keep living out your life. Realize that the "exciting" problems portrayed in anime and other sources of entertainment are almost non-existent in reality. As for wanting to experience "real-world" problems, realize that the grass will always seem greener on the other side. |
Moon_Filled_SkyApr 13, 2013 2:21 PM
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| One time I was watching some anime abs (no homo) and I stopped the episode and started doing pull ups, there, my story. |
Slyr3do0n said: As others said, you probably just have a very cozy life filled with routines which can leave you searching for something more, something to overcome. I've had this feeling for the past two years but I'm heading to University next year so I'm hoping this will be enough change to bring some excitement into my life. Congratulations on getting into Univ! Good luck finding what you search. Moon_Filled_Sky said: [...] Or, just stay with the status quo and keep living out your life. Realize that the "exciting" problems portrayed in anime and other sources of entertainment are almost non-existent in reality. [...] I might want to rephrase my OP into: goals and determination are present in those anime. Moon_Filled_Sky said: [...] As for wanting to experience "real-world" problems, realize that the grass will always seem greener on the other side. I'm trying to get that throuh my skull. |
| Feel free to recommend me good romance (BL is fine!) or slices-of-life anime I haven't seen yet! |
| Do what I told you to do. I tiwll help. |
| わたしはりんごがすきです. あなた は バカ です :3 |
| I'm somewhat in this phase (mostly because well, I don't believe I'm in a comfortable state of living). Lately, I have been rather reflective of what I'm doing these days. For the most part, I've been a 'try-hard' when it comes to grades, but this second semester, I have no idea why, but I'm just losing motivation. Similar to Mellow said earlier, I'm questioning "why must I settle for these tests to define me?" Up to this point, I've come to this realization that I've let school work define who I am, and it just begs the question, "is this really all to hope/strive for?" I also face this personal issue where I'm not entirely sure what I want to do with my life. I believe everyone's goal is, "Do what you love and never have to work a day in your life" mentality, but figuring it out what that is of course the monstrous hurdle to over come. Also, out of jealousy of not being recognized for a single thing this year (which is indeed all on me), I dedicated most of time prepping for a debate tournament (the only 'sport' I do in high school) rather than some huge literature project. The result? Ended up losing every single round and also did not finish that literature project at all. Major heavy sighs and more conflict to come for sure. I envy those risk-takers that said, "Fuck school! I'm going to study and invest in what I really want to do!" and end up being really, really, successful. Me? Way too scared to consider doing that. And as you OP, procrastination has indeed been one to eat away at me. Pretty much, I cope with it by settling with online communities, such as MAL, to find contentedness by being engaging with other users. I'm not really all that down in the dumps however as much of what I wrote, but more and more, it's like I'm spiraling down into a void where I just feel like laying on my bed for hours and pondering about meaningless things. Well, I'm able to overcome these issues every so often, and then it bounces back. Sometimes watching certain anime trigger it but I can't seem to help it. I simply find more indulgences out of 'depressing' or 'gloomy' anime more so than the exhilarating action as it gets me reflect even more. And no, not suicidal by any means or even interested inflicting self harm on myself. Just in a state of mind is all. |
 Just this once, I'll fulfill whatever your wish is. |
| I often get this feeling too. I feel like I'm not happy though I don't really have something to complain as my life could be much worse so I tried to be happy as I am like you OP. And it didn't work. So I try to find new goals to keep my life unpredictable and have something to look forward to. Like right now, I want to get closer to someone and it's kind of driving my life and I feel really happy when I can. About the lack of motivation, this is exactly me, but as I said I now have a goal and I just keep thinking about it each time I want to do nothing. |
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Tavor said: [...] I also face this personal issue where I'm not entirely sure what I want to do with my life. I believe everyone's goal is, "Do what you love and never have to work a day in your life" mentality, but figuring it out what that is of course the monstrous hurdle to over come. Also, out of jealousy of not being recognized for a single thing this year (which is indeed all on me), I dedicated most of time prepping for a debate tournament (the only 'sport' I do in high school) rather than some huge literature project. The result? Ended up losing every single round and also did not finish that literature project at all. Major heavy sighs and more conflict to come for sure. [...] I do recognise the feeling of having a hard time finding something to work at that you love. I'm in the same situation at the moment. I hope you'll get things back on track with your literature project! Travor said: [...] And as you OP, procrastination has indeed been one to eat away at me. Pretty much, I cope with it by settling with online communities, such as MAL, to find contentedness by being engaging with other users. I'm not really all that down in the dumps however as much of what I wrote, but more and more, it's like I'm spiraling down into a void where I just feel like laying on my bed for hours and pondering about meaningless things. [...] This is exactly what I'm doing. MAL'ing, 4chan, TheEscapist fora, etc. Wasting my time posting and reading on fora, while I should be doing more usefull stuff. I have not yet found a way to deal with it and get started to do things. Travor said: Well, I'm able to overcome these issues every so often, and then it bounces back. Sometimes watching certain anime trigger it but I can't seem to help it. I simply find more indulgences out of 'depressing' or 'gloomy' anime more so than the exhilarating action as it gets me reflect even more. And no, not suicidal by any means or even interested inflicting self harm on myself. Just in a state of mind is all. I hope you get your trigger soon, it's not a fun feeling to have. I snapped out of it (once in a while, just to be back in these feeling quickly), but that was by watching a feelgood anime. I would just get more depressed by watching 'gloomy' anime. It's facinating it has a reversed effect on your feelings. Chakaara said: [...] Like right now, I want to get closer to someone and it's kind of driving my life and I feel really happy when I can. About the lack of motivation, this is exactly me, but as I said I now have a goal and I just keep thinking about it each time I want to do nothing. I hope you can reach that goal. Is it love we're talking about here? If so, go get her/him ;) , if not, good luck getting closer! |
| Feel free to recommend me good romance (BL is fine!) or slices-of-life anime I haven't seen yet! |
| you need some alcohol in your life buddy. |
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Cigarette said: I can agree with this.you need some alcohol in your life buddy. Alcohol worsens fixes all problems! (it's also really good mixed with your favorite beverages) Disclaimer: MellowJello does not condone underage drinking. Drink responsibly, and make sure babies don't pop out of your dick. |
MellowJello said: ALCOHOL.Cigarette said: I can agree with this.you need some alcohol in your life buddy. Alcohol worsens fixes all problems! (it's also really good mixed with your favorite beverages) Disclaimer: MellowJello does not condone underage drinking. Drink responsibly, and make sure babies don't pop out of your dick. The cure for depression, and the sole cause. REAL |
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Cigarette said: ALCOHOL.The cure for depression, and the sole cause. REAL So technically I'll be spiraling down into an ever worsening drunk depressing while marinating myself in a combination of cheap wodka and Belgian beer? It does not seem like a solution, but it seems like a lot of fun and therefor is worth trying it. |
| Feel free to recommend me good romance (BL is fine!) or slices-of-life anime I haven't seen yet! |
| I have a similar feeling my whole life, actually. Same as you, I don't have any problems or 'reason' to be unhappy, yet I'm almost sure I've never felt happy in my life (just what the hell happines is anyway?). I have a personality disorder which prevents me from getting closer to people and empathize with them. I have no problem acting 'normal' about people, when I feel like it, the truth is that I always feel that something's off. Sometimes I get to the stage that I just laugh at everyone around me and I'm glad I have no bonds because frankly, people are such assholes. But at times, when I, for example, watch some slice of life anime, or look at other people with all those meaningful friendships and relationships and I wonder, how would it feel to be a part of it and it makes me feel like I'm some fucking robot. As for my goals, I really don't have any. I'm 'lucky' enough that I wouldn't have to work my whole life and I'd still be able to get by, therefore I have no motivation at all. I'm not doing that bad at school though, so my parents will probably force me to go to university, then I might get my diploma, just for the form. But after? No clue. I might travel and stuff, but I don't see any meaning in this really, it's just a temporary pleasure that doesn't have a huge impact on me anyway. Alcohol is not a bad advice, though. I'm adding light drugs - marijuana works quite well. |
| The only thing you can rely on is that you can't rely on anything. |
Haezejongk said: Cigarette said: ALCOHOL.The cure for depression, and the sole cause. REAL So technically I'll be spiraling down into an ever worsening drunk depressing while marinating myself in a combination of cheap wodka and Belgian beer? It does not seem like a solution, but it seems like a lot of fun and therefor is worth trying it. Who said you had to limit yourself to cheap vodka? Buy expensive ass Vodka to let the bitches know you're ballin |
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