Kishuku Gakkou no Juliet

“There’s no sexual harassment in a match” — Four-eyed sex offender

Oh…in that case.

I haven’t seen Romeo and Juliet butchered this horribly since Baz Luhrmann decided to cast Leonardo DiCaprio in a modernized version of the Bard’s classic with its original dialogue intact. At Dahlia Academy Boarding School, the “White Cats” and the “Black Dogs” operate on the assumption that the only way to resolve their differences, is through a school yard battle royal where anything goes. Faces get punched. Hair gets pulled. Even more faces get punched. Girls clothes get stripped off (you know, standard middle school happenings). But ... amidst all the chaos and lifelong brain damage, our main character, Romio Inuzuka, reveals his affection towards his Juliet and thus begins an awkward series of events where the two must conceal their relationship from the prying eyes of their compatriots.

Romio is your typical too-cool-for-school badass, which makes sense because he’s almost never shown in the classroom, as he’s too busy courting Juliet or pounding her head in (he should have been pounding something else). He’s not particularly smart, but his fiery passion and general oaf-ness make him somewhat entertaining. I genuinely spat my coffee out when he lunged himself into that mirror. But slapstick comedy only works for a limited time, as it becomes redundant rather quickly. Nine out of ten jokes fell flat on their face, rendering much of the show as a tedious waste of time.

Juliet, Romio’s love interest, is a trite Tsundere with little-to-no value in the comedic department. Her main hook includes getting infuriated with Romio’s inane comments, followed by screaming at him and/or clobbering him (it gets old fast). While staying focused on her goals of changing the world, she also exhibits moments of foolishness when she leaves a spoon in the microwave (not funny bro, that shit kills people). In addition, due to her petite stature, Juliet looks three-to-four years younger than Romio, making their tender encounters seem a bit awkward.

Boarding School Juliet, lamentably, is a show without a clear direction, nor is it consistent enough to entertain the viewer with its abundance of unavailing situational comedy. Romantic situations between Romio and Juliet are surface level fluff, routinely devolving into lewd, hackneyed circumstances with little comedic value. On the other hand, the “love square” — Romio loves Juliet; Hasuki loves Romio; Weslia loves Juliet — creates an interesting dynamic between the characters, particularly because the love that is accessible is not the one Romio or Juliet desire. Boarding School Juliet does flesh out the relationship between Weslia and Juliet as children, but it leaves much to be desired. Also, the dynamics of such a relationship are bromidic, especially when little-to-no nuance is added to differentiate itself from its — numerous — predecessor’s.

The colorful artwork is so diversified that it hypnotizes the viewer into thinking they are looking into a kaleidoscope; unfortunately, this pristine look is impeccable beyond belief. There is a thing as being too “perfect.” Sometimes a sprinkling of “imperfection” can go a long way in creating an “authentic” environment.

Why the producers of the show decided to emulate the story of Romeo and Juliet, when the characters and thematic elements are antithetical to the Bard’s classic is beyond any reasonable person’s rationalization. So instead of concocting a convoluted reason as to why this happened (**cough**a lure to draw in more viewers**cough**), I decided to write a humorous poem to encapsulate my thoughts on the series.


“Thou must have reckoned himself quite capable of tackling the Bard’s masterwork,

But it was a far cry from a tear jerk; verily, it was an incomplete patchwork;

Methinks’ the comedy soured the mind, combined with the unkind bitch who

Considered herself refined; Although she rode Romio similar to an equestrian,

It was obvious she wanted to ride someone else, due to her being a lesbian;

Love interests come and love interest go, but instead of Juliet I would have chosen

The ho; If you dare question which ho I presuppose, any which one will do as long

As she takes off her clothes; Watching this show became a terrible chore, and the

Vibrant colors elicited a pronounced eyesore; I mustn’t allow myself to become

Remarkably incredulous, lest I wish to hasten my exodus via leaping from a large

Edifice; let it be known that this anime is no gem, as it was quite fortunate to

Receive a three out of ten.”

— Krunchyman

The disclaimer seen in the beginning has to be one of the longest anime has to offer and it is no wonder. The title of this series could as well be changed to "Fuck You, William Shakespeare" and that wouldn't even affect the level of subtle we have at hand. Make no mistake, however, this isn't a parody, this is just a disgrace.

We have school settings here and the school is divided in two because people apparently really hate each others. In this other divided half -- called House White Cat, lives our Juliet, and in the another -- called House Black Dog, lives Romio. ... The daily school life of our students consists of people slapping each others in the face and acting like the opposing party members are total buttholes. While this is pretty much how different opinions work in irl and especially in politics, with Juliet's case there just is no reason to give a damn.

Juliet herself is pretty much like every background anime girl ever except this time she got the role of a main. She hardly has any personality, and in generally, it is hard to even see why the main male lead would fall for her as she is just totally empty character. The main dude presents himself as some sort of cheap "girls like guys like these, right?" stereotype. He is practically one of those shojo love interests that solely exist in romance series until the girl realizes there is more to guys than their outlook... except this time he is the real main character. The only mildly interesting character and the only one who seems to have some sort of personality is Harusi from Black Dogs and she is used basically as an element in the series to a) create comedy and b) create some type of cheesy and completely improbable love interest alternative.

If this series had more comedy or at least some comedy (it is supposed to be a comedy), maybe it would be at least entertaining in some way. Thus far, the pinnacle of the comedy was a scene where our main dude disappeared in the middle of an ongoing monologue aimed at him. Which is a thing that has occurred in approximately 3 gigazaillion other anime series already, most of which presented it better and had some characters with personalities so that the comedic moments came with at least some level of depth.

Art is another thing that could easily make this series seem better and give some sort of glory and meaning to its events, but damn if ain't generic and cheap. I am mainly reminded of those low budget action anime series from the beginning of this decade where the coolest animation tricks were practically different colored light effects. This thing looks boring, sounds boring and is boring, and on top of that, has been going for worse since the beginning.

Boarding School Juliet is a show I desperately wanted to like more than I did. From a conceptual level, it has so many elements that are right up my alley. A rom-com where the main couple gets together at the start and follows their developing relationship! A take on Shakespeare that remixes his classic characters in fun new ways! Swordfights! Dates! Wacky sidekicks! Performances from a rogue’s gallery of my favorite voice actors! There’s so much to this story that could have- and should have- worked. Sadly, the end product just never comes together in any satisfying way, leading to a show that more often ... than not just passed through my system without eliciting a single reaction from me.

First, the set-up: as the title suggests, this is a very (very, very, very) loose re-imagining of Romeo and Juliet that transplants the warring noble houses of Verona to a boarding school, in which they take the forms of two rival gangs from eastern and western nations. The Black Dogs of the east are led by Romoi Inuzika, a brash hothead with a secret crush on the leader of the western White Cats: Juliet Persia, a determined young woman fighting to become stronger than the prejudices and hatred between the two opposing forces. A midnight duel leads them to the realization that they’re both sick of their nation’s feud, and that their feelings for each other might be realer than both of them initially realized. So they decide to start going out in secret, all while working from within to start changing their world for the better. In classic Shakespeare fashion, there are mistaken identities, close escapes, big emotional outbursts, overly complicated schemes, and a colorful cast of supporting characters weaving an absurdly complicated net of secondary romantic subplots.

And I just wish it all was more interesting than I’m making it sound.

The problem, really, is a very common problem that a lot of lesser-tier anime runs into: losing the plot. Once the setup is out of the way and our central couple is together, it doesn’t take long for the enticing premise of a power couple working to change a broken system while undergoing emotional development to fall by the wayside in favor of the blandest, most generic anime rom-com scenarios imaginable. It feels like the story doesn’t have enough confidence in itself to commit to the bolder, more original elements of its premise, so it just settles back to copy everything it’s seen in better anime. The sports festivals, the secret dates gone wrong, the making lunch for your hubby, the romantic rivals, and none of it is fresh or well-executed enough to keep interest until the show finally remembers it’s supposed to have a plot in the final handful of episodes, and even then it never rises above anything higher than passable. Romio and Juliet themselves are both likable enough, but their bolder edges hinted at in the first episode- Juliet’s bullheaded confidence, Romio’s passionate sense of honor- get dropped fairly quickly in favor of blushing moe girl and awkward pretty boy. There’s just no character to any of these characters, and the production isn’t strong enough to be enjoyable just on a pure spectacle level.

Which is a shame, because there are good elements in this bland paste of a show. Again, I like that the main couple gets together at the start, and the show is nominally about exploring their developing relationship above all else. I like that none of the romantic rivals to either of them is ever treated as having any possibility of actually breaking them up, keeping the focus on their emotions above all else. And like I said, there are a metric buttload of my favorite seiyuus in here all doing their best to add character to the cardboard cutouts they’re voicing. Ayane Sakura of BNHA fame adds a surprising poignancy to Romio’s childhood friend, Hiroshi Kamiya is having an utter ball as Juliet’s foppish retainer, Juliet herself is admirably carried by Ai Kayano, Tomokazu Sugita shows a surprising restraint as a Black Dog thug, and Daisuke Ono lends his chilling monotone to Romio’s domineering older brother. I like all these performers, and they’re clearing having a lot of fun playing with such broad archetypes. There’s just nothing in the script to let them be anything more.

In the end, Boarding School Juliet is far from a disaster, but it’s also not a show I would recommend to anyone. It’s not especially impressive from an animation standpoint, the characters are nothing you won’t get better from a million other shows, the romance is harmless but forgettable, and I’m certain I’ll forget the entire plot in about a week. Shakespeare deserves to be bigger, braver, and better than this.

Since this show is still airing, I can't speak to it in its entirety, but I did watch 6 episodes, and that was enough for me. This show has good artwork and some hilarious one-liners. Beyond that, there's not much to be found here. The characters as just cookie-cutter stereotypes with no real motivations or thought processes. The setting is a school which is divided in two based on which main character each person is affiliated with. The plot is just a bunch of random events, such as a sports festival, where the characters are somehow thrown into conflict, where they obediently stay, using whatever ... excuse necessary to avoid actually solving the problem at hand until the appointed time. In short, it's just lazy writing with a few good jokes thrown in on occasion.

So I watched this because of it was on prime video so let me start off with don’t expect it to be even remotely close to Romeo and juliet apart from the forbidden romance. With that being said this show is awful and I would have given this show an even worse score if not for the fact that the comedy can be funny at times. Our MC is probably the biggest loser I’ve seen in awhile in anime history. The show will try to sell to you that he is some aloof strong guy who is supposed to be respected by his people but ... that idea falls flat so fast you’d be looking at Persia’s chest. The guy MC is the worst part of the show the girl MC is so forgettable becuase she literally has nothing to do in the show besides do whatever task the mc ask of her to make the relationship work. She has literally no purpose except stand there and look pretty which is ironic considering she’s supposed to be Juliet. Most of the supporting characters are dumped aside whenever the plot doesn’t need them anymore. Char is probably the supporting girl who gets the most screen time and yet literally nothing changes about her for the entirety of the show so does the other girl hatsuki who gets some development and yet nothing comes of it as the show continues and she gets thrown aside. If I didn’t mention other supporting characters it’s because their personality was nonexistent Everybody else in the show is one note and Try to set the tone that the white cats and black doggies hate each other but it’s so comedic that I can’t take any of it seriously, the world definitely needed a better way of representing how serious the conflict was between the relationship. The main gimmick of this show is like a Saturday morning supervillain “who is gonna be the bad guy today?” Or in this case “what made up excuse is gonna try to get in the way of our main character relationship this episode?” If you started at episode 1 and then skipped to like episode 9 you probably wouldn’t miss much since nothing happens for most of these episodes. Honestly I think male MC should have been a white cat because he’s just such a pussy. Every time he has a moment with girl MC he just can’t not act like a loser for one second. If you want an ultra cringe fest this is your show if you wanna see a high-school boy act like a dude who would kiss the ground where a girl stood on this is your mc which sounds funny but I promise you gets old very quick