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Jan 9, 2019
Unable to destroy Godzilla through the use of conventional anime tropes, the constipated crew from the previous film decided to turn toward religion to summon Shenron to grant their wish of eliminating “The King of Monsters.” But they forgot one important detail: they didn’t collect the seven dragon balls beforehand. Enraged by their insolence, Shenron (i.e. Ghidorah) destroyed his believers to clear the way for his cataclysmic, multiverse bout with the reigning world champion. In a rare turn of events, Stone Cold Steve Austin decided to step in as the guest referee. Proving, once again, that unapologetic alcoholism will lead to read more
Jan 4, 2019
Mechanical Arms (Mecha-Ude) is a single episode ONA that begins a story with the hopes of drawing enough attention/funding to expand into (I suspect) a full length series. According to the studios official website, they successfully collected $65,000 in 2016 from Kickstarter to help fund the project (i.e. the first episode). While I’m not overly impressed with their first offering, it is admirable to see new studios spring up in the age of online piracy. Before every studio and their mother flocks over to Netflix to remain financially solvent.

TriF Studio, the creators of Mechanical Arms, produced a show that adheres to the read more
Jan 3, 2019
The elegant flow of luxurious hair contours gracefully along the pristine crown down the petite collar of the unsurpassed delicate flower. Golden locks glisten under the flicker of a saffron flame. The soft, supple facial features radiate pure ineffable beauty, displaying no discernment of imperfection. She is the stimulus that evokes profound imagination, via the means of simply existing. Her fortuitous, biological circumstances have destined her to inject inspiration into the psyche of the perceptive virtuoso, to invigorate him to produce marvelous portraits of exquisite splendor. She is the beacon that guides his creative spirit towards its fullest potential, realizing the read more
Dec 29, 2018
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to save it, but let’s kill some Goblins.” — Goblin Slayer

All you f—king assholes need to stop hating on Goblin Slayer — LEAVE BRITNEY (I mean Goblin Slayer) ALONE! Jesus Christ, just stop it. Take your pretentious, Tatami-Galaxy-loving-ass outta here, so us real fans can enjoy the kick-assery that is Goblin Slayer.

………….No. I’m serious, leave. RIGHT NOW! Only true fans will have the pleasure of reading this phenomenal review. Shit, if you gave this series anything less than a “10,” you’d best stop watching anime altogether, you wannabe-otaku.

<ahem> “So, where are the read more
Dec 22, 2018
SSSS.hit!

Is Studio Trigger aware that they are not required to produce wack-ass anime ad infinitum? It feels like they take pleasure in discovering new ways to SSSS.hit all over your computer screens, just to see how desperate we are for a new Mecha anime. Perhaps the success of Inferno Cop went to their heads, giving them a false sense of entitlement to shove even worse rubbish up our collective SSSS.hit(holes), in hopes that we would gobble it up like a bunch of mindless, horny drones. I can’t blame a player for wanting to get paid, but I can certainly blame Studio Trigger read more
Dec 21, 2018
“There’s no sexual harassment in a match” — Four-eyed sex offender

Oh…in that case.

“Grab them by the pussy.” — Donald Trump


I haven’t seen Romeo and Juliet butchered this horribly since Baz Luhrmann decided to cast Leonardo DiCaprio in a modernized version of the Bard’s classic with its original dialogue intact. At Dahlia Academy Boarding School, the “White Cats” and the “Black Dogs” operate on the assumption that the only way to resolve their differences, is through a school yard battle royal where anything goes. Faces get punched. Hair gets pulled. Even more faces get punched. Girls clothes get stripped off (you read more
Dec 20, 2018
Banana’s look sort of phallic.

Fish are high in omega-3 fatty acids.

Invert the two and what do you have……..a fat dick. **badum-CHING**

Summer is the time of year for promiscuous young-adults to experiment with their sexual desires, in a hassle free relationship that requires no commitments from either party. But why limit one’s exposure to the opposite sex, when there are plenty of “gay-fish” — I mean, banana fish — for the taking. Why else would a Shoujo anime feature two young queens in New York? For a “crime” investigation? Now that’s rich.

Speaking of wealth, the main character in the read more
Dec 18, 2018
That view of the pink-haired girl’s naked body is unreal. White Fox Studio deserves an award and an obligatory wank from each person who watches this show. I’ll give you a moment if you’re still not finished…….

…………………………………..**looks at watch**……………………**later realizes that he does not own a watch**………………

Due to the roaring success of Goblin Slayer, it prompted the producers to encapsulate the best elements of the series in a concise package for viewer’s who were not previously aware of the Goblin Slayer’s exploits, to catch up on all of the hype that surrounds this triumphant achievement. For the regulars, it serves as a read more
Dec 18, 2018
Mastubation station? Matsu-bangarang station? Mastu-chef station?….

Matsubaradanchi Station. Pssshh….Trying saying that five times fast.

Kimi no Matsu Basho E is a fairly simple anime. It follows a young, 26 year-old boy, Souta, as he visits his old town of Souka (I honestly couldn’t keep the town name and his name straight), where he meets up with a mysterious woman to check out the various attractions around town. The episode sort of plays out like an extended tourist commercial, where they highlight the numerous “hotspots” and put themselves on a pedestal as being “better than the rest.” It is what it is, read more
Dec 6, 2018
Life, often times, is a disconsolate, oppressive journey with enough melancholic moments to make one want to kill their wife (or a creepy cat, who torments you ad nauseam).

“The King of the Pigs” is a gripping allegorical tale about class/wealth inequality and the dehumanizing aspect of school aged bullying; not only for those who are bullied, but for the instigators themselves (because of their internal hierarchical structure). Chan Young, a bright new student, exemplifies this dehumanization when his enthusiasm for school related excellence wanes, due to the callous nature of the imperious “dogs.” The obedience of the other “pigs” is quite read more