I remember now exactly why I love Hoshi wa Utau so much. Why when choosing between two of Takaya Natuski's works to put in my favorites, I chose it over Fruits Basket, which I had read first and re-read more times. I can't find the exact word for it, but it forces me to continue. No, motivational is not the word, nor is it inspirational. Nothing as positive as that. But it's exactly how Chihiro and Sakuya felt, more so Chihiro. While my experiences have never been as painful and numbing as Chihiro's nor Sakuya's, I could see myself as Chihiro. Chihiro found someone who moved his heart and changed his worldview (or as he said, he was found), and one day I hope to experience the same. One day, I hope to become like Sakuya, who is able to deeply appreciate those around her, those who support her. It's not like I don't already, but I'm not fully there yet.
At the same time, Chihiro's view as someone who experienced a loved one attempt suicide made me see a different side of those who are left behind. You are not only giving up on the world, but also the people close to you. I don't like it when people say those who either attempt to or commit suicide are selfish, those people don't try to put themselves into others' shoes. However, Chihiro's thoughts hits deep, and makes me sad. Sakura's pain pushed her to the limit, but when she woke up, she realized she had hurt someone she loved very deeply. It's difficult for me to express just exactly why this is so important to me, but I still wanted to try to convey how much this story has impacted my life. I think what made me so emotional throughout the story has to be the inner thoughts, such that at times it feels as it the story is written in stream of consciousness. Just like Furuba, but even more so here, there's a sense of intimacy as wel really get to understand the characters.
Now, I must address some of my minor complaints. It seems Takaya Natsuki rather likes age gaps (between minors and adults)...there's only one here versus the many in her most famous work, but it still doesn't sit well with me. I don't mind when the age gap is when they're older, because the maturity is there. But a full-grown adult liking someone when they're in...middle school? It strikes me as almost wrong. Admiration, sure. Familial love? That works! Or even if the feelings start when the minor reaches adulthood is fine, but Saki loving Hijiri since forever makes me a bit uncomfortable. At the end of the day though, Saki is a good guy, and they ended getting married anyways.
Another one is something others have mentioned before--how quickly Saku falls in love. I'm not a huge fan of love at first sight, or love that starts so soon after you've only met the person once or twice. It's possible that it ends well, that the person you start loving really isn't a bad person at all. But that's quite idealistic. I suppose you could say though that there are successful couples that start out from dating sites and apps. It's just not my favorite way of starting out a romance. In the end though, it doesn't matter, because of how well the relationship between Saku and Chihiro was written. Even though what Chihiro said to Saku during their first meeting was almost on a whim, and not speaking directly to her, he also said it because he must've seen some resemblance to Sakura from the very beginning. He heard about Saku's background from Kanade, so he already had a bit of insight on how much effort Saku had put in to continue smiling. Even if it was sort of a passing comment, those words were real and they struck a chord within Saku's heart. It's no wonder Saku became really interested in Chihiro, someone who seemed to understand her, who praised her (it's not to say that Hijiri wasn't with her and didn't see her efforts, but her biggest fault was not being honest or being able to put things into words). And eventually, the second meeting, led her to truly fall in love with this complicated person. A person who had complimented her, who was kind enough to get off the train when he noticed her running after him, but at the same time, showing his true self, one that hated and was lonely.
Oh, and of course, the one-note parents, but I do think that in real life, there really are just terrible and/or messed-up parents so it's not a big deal for me. Obviously it'd make the story more well-rounded if we got to see the parents not as black or white, but the story is ultimately about how the children learn and cope with their situations.
"The stars are singing." It's poetic when reading, but like Kanade and the other students said, in reality, it sounds odd, and people might really think you're not normal. However, Kanade also realized that it's not because there's something wrong with Saku. It's because Saku had dealt with things and broken down earlier than he did, resulting in Saku finding solace in the starry sky. What was beautiful in the end was that Saku saying the stars are everyone, singing, encouraging her. There was such a sense of relief to see her saying that she's alright now, I sincerely felt joy for her.
Which sort of leads to Chihiro's final decision regarding Sakura. I think his decision was the most realistic one. He is sensitive to those who are bullied, who are weak. Although he loved Sakuya, she was fine and could live on her own. Sakura on the other hand, wasn't able to do the same. Sakura was still important to Chihiro, although not the same way Sakuya was to him. It's amazing that Chihiro was able to continue to support Sakura and let her see that the world isn't just all darkness.
Hoshi wa Utau isn't the most well-written story I've ever read. Of course not. But despite any weaknesses, it's a story that has stayed within my heart and has given me perspectives on several things in life. I think no matter how many times I re-read it, I'll still cry throughout the story, and I'll once again, try to become better at living, too.
P.S. I just found what I typed after finishing Hoshi wa Utau for the first time back in 2011, a few days after the final chapter came out. I actually didn't even see it this time around, but apparently I found it symbolic when Tohru and Kyou's child picked up the coin for Sakura, showing that the world really isn't that bad. It is a parallel to when Sakura's world became better, after Chihiro's first interaction with her as he picked up her pencil box for her.
P.P.S I also love the character growth the other characters experienced, namely Kanade, Hijiri, and Yuuri. All three admitted their faults and tried to overcome them. Are they all successful? At least partly ^^
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Edit:
I just re-read the last 5 chapters, starting from when Chihiro came back after a few days of absence and told Saku the news of Sakura being awake and his decision. It made me appreciate Sakura's growth in the last chapters, despite only having known her through flashbacks. I saw a parallel with her and Saku. Chihiro must've felt more reassured leaving Sakuya when she said that she was alright now. Just the same way when Sakura was telling her decision of letting Chihiro go, he asked her, "Are you alright?" And she answered, "Yes, I'm alright now."
One last thing. Ever since I read the series years ago, I had started to stargaze. I used to do it more often, especially during college. After work, I'd sit inside my car, looking up to the night sky. There's really something soothing about watching the stars twinkle. Thank you, Hoshi wa Utau :) |