New
May 2, 2014 9:20 PM
#1
I hope you will all enjoy this, as I have been wanting to do something involving MAL for quite a while now. Some of you may become villains, try to contain your butthurt. Important: The Prologue is in first person. The actual chapters will more than likely not be, unless I randomly change my mind tonight. First Update: Excited by the positive response, I went ahead and introduced Kineta with chapter one. The violence might put off some people, but keep in mind that I am still trying to get a feel for the tone I'm looking for. A "certain" character who is appearing in Chapter 1 will no doubt always be very violent. It is... in her nature. Second Update: This chapter took me a while to get out, both due to sickness and general writers block. I'll just say it. Screw this prison and I wish i'd never thought of it. Due to you guys all really liking the story, for a while I felt like I wouldn't be able to write as well and got nervous. I hope you will all stick with me going forward, because now that they are out of this shithole prison and on the streets of the city, I can do a LOT more with the story, especially as far as describing and explaining where they are. Anyways, hope you all enjoy. Prologue: My mother told me when I applied for college, that the first time I ever stood on two legs, I had tried to run. She said I picked the first thing I could see that I hadn't seen before, and chased it with all my might. When I could write, I began to analyze the words of everyone who had lived before me. When I began high school, I decided that I was obsessed with the limits of human potential. I had to break them. I had to create something more. I gave the first 3 years of my life after college studying human DNA. I looked for any possible leads to expand the power of the human mind. The strength of the human body. The fortitude of the human soul. Every moment of my life was devoted to study, and application of what I had learned. Inside the industry I had become known as a mental case. A man who didn't know when to give up. Before long, I could no longer secure funding. I couldn't even get a job. It was in this slump of despair that I met them. They were a private investment firm known only as CRAVE. They told me nothing of their work, and even less about themselves. I should have steadied my judgement, but I was more desperate than I had ever been. I accepted help in creating my dream, but at the cost of my own future... Her name was Kineta. She was the first creation that stabilized in the MAL project. The perfect human specimen. I had begun to see her as my own child, though her own thoughts were something of a mystery to me. She always had this emptiness in her eyes, and to be honest, it scared me. Whether playing with blocks, or eating her dinner, she never thought to use her own hands. Kineta had developed what you might call telekinetic powers. She could move things, without the assistance of her own body. That was what I had thought anyway. It seemed like the best answer. Despite her inherent coldness, she seemed to love me, and we spent a large amount of our lives together. But it wasn't until much later that I discovered the truth about CRAVE, and the horrors which I had unleashed upon the world. CRAVE had come for her. They brought with them things I had never imagined could be possible. It was a massacre, and my lab was destroyed. I believe Kineta is now safe, though I had to peel her arms from my shoulders myself. I can hear them, beating on the door. My name is Xinil, and these are my last words. Chapter 1: Moonlight A burning sensation came over her eyes, as Kineta slowly woke from a sleep which could only be described as nightmarish. She was often cursed with nightmares, no doubt a side effect of whatever her master had done to her brain. This time however, the nightmares almost felt too real. As she opened her shaking eyes, she saw the walls of what appeared to be a large cell around her. Was she underground? "What the hell is this?" She said to herself, slamming her fist against the metal wall next to her cot. "Where the hell am I?" The metallic sound of a key meeting the door to her cell gave her an immediate answer. A scientist and 2 armed guards entered her cell, bringing with them a tray of various tools she could only assume had been designed for torture. "You know what these are for don't you little girl?" The Scientist asked, a smug grin on his face. "Unfortunately, I won't be able to have much fun with you today. You see, CRAVE has no use for damaged little girls." Instead, he began to fill a needle with a strange liquid, as the men forced restraints onto Kineta's arms. "You're trying to make me explode right now aren't you? With that brain of yours you could easily paint these walls with us couldn't you? But why won't it work?" Kineta had been trying to free herself, but the same headache she had awoken with was currently ringing in her ears, no doubt some sort of side effect of whatever drug she had more than likely been receiving since she was taken from her master. The scientist closed in on Kineta, holding the needle within centimeters of her right eye, and as she began to shake with fear, Kineta screamed out within her own mind, desperately reaching for some way to throw him away. Suddenly, the man was rising into the air. Had she broken the effects of her restraint? As the body crumpled to the floor, she learned the truth behind his strange death. The man's spine was slowly being taken from his body, coiling up the arm of the figure standing in front of her. Suddenly, it hardened, and began to grow into a club-like shape, before finally forming a large end. It was, for lack of a better word, a hammer. The figure slammed the hammer onto the cell floor with such force that it shook the walls. Tendrils began to shoot across the floor piercing the feet of the two guards, rooting them into place. The shadow in front of Kineta danced blissfully across the room, pulling and swinging the tendrils until nothing was left of the two men but pieces. "What the hell is going on?" Screamed Kineta, terrified by the grotesque sight in front of her. "Who are you?" "Me? I'm Luna. And we are getting the hell out of here." Chapter Duece The lights in the cell flickered as Kineta stood in awe of what she had just seen. The man who had just been torturing her was dead, and his guards were currently decorating the walls around her. It wasn't the first time she had seen such a grotesque scene, but she was silently hoping it would be the last. She wiped the sweat from her forehead and tried to calm herself, but it was no use. She looked at her hands and realized they were shaking. Was it fear or excitement? She couldn't tell. After all, it would a stretch to call her a human being. "You called yourself Luna? How can you do that to someone? What are you?" Kineta asked, tears forming in her eyes. She was never one for violence, though she knew deep within herself that no one else could create more of it than she could. She felt her head spinning, and pushed her head into the palms of her hands. Luna smiled, and walked toward Kineta, as the bone apparatus she was carrying melted and fell to the floor. "You see, I used to be like you.. I thought I was the only one. I thought I had to be a good person with the gifts I was given. But after a while I realized something. I realized everyone else had to be good people." "So what.. You are just going to force them. You are going to murder anyone who you think deserves it? How are you any different from them?" Kineta asked, still fighting back the tears in her eyes. "I just want to get out of here." Luna lifted Kineta's head and faced her. Looking directly into her eyes, she spoke softly. "I have to do what it takes. Anything and everything to make things right. Not because I am perfect, but because I have power. I won't waste my life, and I won't let you waste yours. We are getting out of here." Kineta, stood up, and walked for the front door, but Luna stopped her. "I know all about you. I read your file. We aren't going that way. You need to knock in this wall." She said, pointing toward the ruined cot in the corner of the room. "I don't think I can. I can't even focus my eyes right now." Said Kineta, feigning weakness to avoid showing this person anything she could use to hurt others. "I know you can, and you have to, because if you don't I'll have to kill everyone between us and daylight. Now please, get us into that hallway." Kineta nodded despite a deep feeling of rejection, and focused her mind on the wall. As the room began to heat with the force created by Kineta's power, several guards filed into the room and unloaded assault rifle fire in their direction. The loud popping of the air exploded as steam and metal exploded throughout the room. Kineta surged forward with all her strength and lied filled the room, detonating the wall and shooting the wall fragments into the hallway on the other side. Luna smiled, and pulled two small wires from her waist, and threw them in the direction of the closest two guards, catching them by the neck and pulling them in her direction. She grabbed their necks, and their eyes surged to the back of their head as their collar bones lifted from their body, dropping them lifeless to the floor. The other guards were terrified and raised their weapons, but were too late. The bones from Luna's improvised weapons had already nailed them to the walls of the room. Kineta turned to face Luna and saw the carnage of the room, and let out a scream. "I've had enough of this. We are getting out of here." She screamed, taking off into the adjacent hallway. As she walked she because to heat the air of the room and blew out another wall, until they found a circular staircase. "Do you know where we are?" She asked, as her patience wore thin and her adrenaline level rose with each breath. "Once we take these stairs, we just have to fight our way through the front building, and we should be out on the street. Should be easy with you shooting off explosions like some kind of tank." "I'm not a murderer like you, but I'm getting out of here." Kineta screamed, as they ran up the stairs. Finally they came out upon what appeared to be a normal office building, and she realized the hard truth of what was about to happen. At least 20 men awaited them, carrying riot shields and ready to kill. "Oh god. We are dead." Said Luna, as she saw the firing squad before them. "Well, it was good meeting you I guess." Kineta could feel herself shaking. Why was this happening to her, she thought. Why is she always forced into this life she hated? She lowered her head, as if she had given up. She had no other choice. This is how it would always end. The men stood at the ready and the order was given to fire. But as their guns released the force of their shots, they were met with the raw power of mankind's eminent future. The ceiling caved in as the building shook at its very foundation. Luna turned to see Kineta floating there in the middle of the room, as the dry wall and ceiling tiles fell and exploded around her. The men were melted, or rather remade in front of her, the molecules of their body bursting into energy, and then reset into dust on the floor. As Kineta slowly fell, the walls before them stood open, and daylight shone in on her pale face. They were free, for now. Chapter Too-Fitty I had begun the project expecting great things. I expected them from both my work, and from CRAVE. They had given me funding, a laboratory, and even a stake in their earnings. Things were finally looking up for me. After a lifetime of feeling stuck in an inadequate form, I felt like I was finally becoming something special. I devoted all my time to my work. I was finally living the life I had always dreamed I would live. Naturally, success came with its own inherent failures. The first few years of the project yielded abysmal results. But I never considered giving up. And of course, neither did CRAVE. It was through these failures that we began to build strength. It was from these failures that I learned and was finally able to break through. I created the perfect specimen. The ultimate human being. I named her Kineta. She was my gift to the Earth, and the next stage in human evolution. Visually, she was just a normal human girl, but beneath her innocent exterior lie the power to change anything and everything. The world would never be the same again. Looking back, I just had no idea things would change the way they did. I used to spend all my time at the lab. Tinkering, working on my research. But then she was born. I couldn't get enough of Kineta and spending all of my time with her. She was like a daughter to me. And later, she became much more. I wanted to give all my time to creating the perfect person to go along with the perfect body. I guess that was what clouded my judgement, and spawned the horrors that would inevitably follow. I had noticed the signs, despite my apathy and disinterest in acting on them. A missing folder here, a broken firewall there. I noticed materials missing from the lab. But all I could think about was my Kineta. I had to be with her, and it would cost me my life. CRAVE made off with the world, and I was left with nothing. Chapter Tray The sunlight stung Kineta's eyes as she lifted her shoulders. She felt as though she was carrying the weight of the world. She thought to herself that guilt made someone feel worse than any sickness, and braced herself to lift off of the ground. "You know, you don't have to act so alone." Luna lifted her up by her shoulders, and brushed the dust off of her clothing. "You have us now, and we won't give up on you so easily." "Us? Are there more killers like you out there?" Kineta asked, with an offensive tone. "Anyway, we should probably run or something, I just blew up an entire office building. "Yeah, about that, a car should be picking us up any moment now." Luna responded, with a huge grin on her face. "In fact, there they are." A black sedan approached the scorched opening at the front of the building. As the light was obscured from her vision, Kineta saw the letters printed on the side. CRAVE. "What the hell? Why would CRAVE want to rescue me from their own prison?" "Listen, just get in the car." Said Luna, shoving the weakened Kineta into the back seat. Kineta's body felt the soft weight of another human being, and she lifted her head to see a young asian man sitting in the seat next to her. "This is Tachii, he's our "Special Weapon" in situations like these. Nobody is going to suspect a CRAVE company car of carrying the ultimate tool of their destruction." "Hello, Nice work on that building back there. I see the old man was right about you. You really are a human battering ram." Tachii smiled, and turned to face the driver of the car. As if he were commanding an animal, he instructed the driver to take them to their safe house in the lower ward of the city, and the car left the scene without a hitch. "What is this? Mind control?" Asked Kineta, completely unsurprised at this new development. "I can't say I'm surprised after seeing this Vampire over here rip someones skeleton out and beat them to death with it." Tachii laughed at Kineta's words, and it annoyed her to a degree. "Luna has that effect on people, but shes really just trying her best. We all do." Tachii turned to the driver and instructed him to call in to his superiors. When hiding inside the enemies vision, appearances must always be kept up. "Why don't you take a look of this window, and maybe you will see how serious we really are." Kineta looked out of the tinted window, and was met with a sight she definitely wasn't expecting. The city was tall. Taller than anything she had ever seen. The street was lined with sky scrapers, each with its own screen, showing videos she couldn't really recognize. The one thing she could see without the slightest doubt, was that every single building shared one detail. The same lettering from the doors of the car was printed on each of them: CRAVE. "Let me ask you something. How long we you in that prison? What is the last thing you remember?" He asked, still bothering her with his attitude. "I.. I don't really remember." She replied, feeling her head burning from her physical exhaustion. "Well, the truth is, you weren't there for very long. Just like you weren't at the last bunker for very long. The old man has spent years chasing old leads trying to find you. According to him, You are the most important piece to some kind of ultimate puzzle. I never did like the concept of prophecy, but after seeing you demolish that steel building like it was nothing, I'm coming around to the idea." Kineta turned to face Luna, who was fidgeting with her hair. The blood from her victims sticking her bangs together seemed to be giving her trouble, and Kineta couldn't help but laugh. "What did I get myself into here?" The car turned down an unassuming alley, and entered into an unmarked garage. As the gate closed behind them, the lights were shut off, and everything inside the car was suddenly dark. Then the sound of generators could be heard around them, and the floor began to fall beneath them. Kineta realized they were on an elevator, and she couldn't help but speak her mind. "What is this? Some sort of Sci-Fi movie?" "Ha, I knew you would be puzzled by this. What year do you think it is? Do you even know?" "I.. I guess I don't." She replied, still feeling the effects of her chemically induced headache. "Well, the truth is, you don't age like other people. The potential of your body is nearly limitless, and your aging is hard to explain. All I know for sure is you've been locked away for the better part of a decade. Things have changed, and your DNA is what changed them. The world is owned by CRAVE now, and we are all that's left." "I might be a Vampire, but at least I wasn't underground for the last 10 years." Luna chuckled in an immature way. Kineta couldn't help but be confused by this girl who had just ripped apart 6 men being such a person, but she couldn't explain anything else from this day either. As they exited the car and entered yet another underground facility, an old man approached to meet them. "My, it sure has been a long time Kineta, I haven't seen you since you were a little girl. Welcome to IRC." Part 3.5 As he watched IRC's incompetent leader welcome her to the underground bunker, Hederick couldn't shake the desire to laugh. These people were almost too easy to observe. As he lit another cigarette, he thought to himself about what he had seen so far. This "Kineta" was the origin. The beginning of a story much bigger than herself. He knew she was some sort of Esper, but the extent of her abilities had constantly eluded him. His superiors at YLF wouldn't be too happy about that, but this wasn't the time to regret one's own shortcomings. He finished his smoke, and retrieved the memo pad from his coat pocket, and began jotting down the things he saw. Rodac was welcoming her, and it seemed like an emotional reunion. He made note of the fact that they seemed to know each other from before she arrived. As the scene before him came to a conclusion, Hederick knew it was time to make his move, and he slipped into the shadows. Rodac Interlude The restlessness of poor work performance had haunted me throughout my life. As a child, my peers held me down, and as a young adult, my work colleagues had always felt like a burden. A friend once told me that he would create the perfect human being, and I had laughed in his face. That man had a look in his eyes that screamed to the world "I will never give up." As a man of action, I had latched to him despite myself, and he became the first partner I ever felt I was on even terms with. He spoke to me of an initiative he had labelled MAL, with which he planned to alter the genetic structure of a human child, creating what he could only gleefully refer to as a "human superhero". It was times like those when his childishness annoyed me, but that same insistent desire for success kept me from ever leaving. I suppose I was thankful for it all when he finally succeeded. He created the first child. He named her Kineta, but to me she had seemed like a monster undeserving of a name. The shaking of the walls from a childs simple screams were exhilarating, but at the same time, the raw power was inherently terrifying. It wasn't until much later, after the father's death that I would discover the real power she would someday control. That same girl stood in front of me that day, at the place where I had built my resistance. The final piece of the puzzle was mine, and the endless wait could finally end. With her here, I could finally move forward with my strike against the men who had killed our project, and the first step would take place in South America. Chapter Willem Defoe The rain fell heavily on the hard metal exterior of the strange aerial vehicle that Kineta had been pushed into. After several weeks of training, and instruction about the world as it stands, she was finally taking some action. IRC had become a part of her life, and all of the intense people there had come with it. Months of running, fighting, and honing her "powers" had led her into what seemed like a paramilitary occupation. Her first mission was what you might call an "act of terror". An assault on one of CRAVE'S monetary assets. As the bird made for its landing, Kineta could feel her hands shaking. The concept of killing was still new to her, but she had sworn to help Rodac in any way she could. Perhaps noticing the tension, Tachii turned his from book and faced Kineta with a smile. "You know, you don't need to be so nervous. We won't have to kill anyone if everything goes according to plan," He said, shaking his shoulders to shake his stiffness. "I know that, but I have a feeling our "friend" over there loves to go off the deep end at times like these." Kineta replied, shooting glances at Luna, who was sitting in the co-pilot's seat fidgeting in place. Kineta didn't know much about her, but you could say watching someone beat a man to death with their own spine leaves a sour taste in your mouth. Bracing herself for the mission at hand, Kineta decided to recheck the dossier on their intended target. The facility on the island was labeled as a "nature preserve" but on the inside, it housed a large laboratory with certain "valuable specimens". According to Rodac, securing these samples would cripple Crave's understanding of the MAL genetic sequence. After a lot of reassurance that she was doing the right thing, she had finally agreed to accompany Luna in the field a second time, despite her objections. She had known Rodac from birth, and she had a lot of trust for him. She couldn't find a reason to let him down after his team had saved her life. Just as Kineta had finally lost herself in thought, the ominous red light had begun flashing inside the fuselage, and Tachii was extending his hand to lift her from her seat. She adjusted her parachute and grabbed the nearest handle. A drop from a plane was scary, but nothing more than par for the course with these crazy people. As she scanned the inside of the plane, she caught eyes with Luna, who was smiling ear to ear. The hatch opened and the the cool fresh air outside the plane met Kineta, and after what felt like a second, the light flashed green, and they had jumped. The rain beating against her exposed lips, Kineta felt her heart race as the jungle enveloped her in it's darkness. Chapter Five The rain fell blisteringly onto Kineta's clothing as she rushed to hide her parachute in the damp jungle. As she began to re-check her equipment, she noticed that Tachii was correct in his assumption regarding the CRAVE security net. It would appear that GPS and electronic communications would be worthless at this point, so she placed her GPS into her rucksack and checked her compass for bearings. As she moved slowly through the thick environment she slipped into thought. She considered the words Rodac has spoken to her about the missions she had agreed to. She would have to become a killer. Deep down she questioned the validity of IRC's claim to justice, but given the atrocities she had seen from CRAVE while resting in their bunker, she knew she would have to take the first step down a dark road. "People like us were probably made to kill," She whispered to herself, as she looked over a ravine housing a rushing stream. The rendevous point had been set at a particular parallel at which this ravine met the wide river they had seen from above, but it seemed getting there wouldn't be as easy as she had hoped. Below her was a patrol consisting of 5 men, and one BA-ND mech. She had observed these mechs on film, but seeing on in front of her reminded her how useful her powers could eventually prove to be. Unfortunately, she had also learned the hard way that her power wasn't limitless. Given the length of the mission ahead, she would have to handle this the old fashioned way. Slipping into the foliage around her, she slipped the magazine into her G36 assault rifled and began to stalk into their formation. |
SolviteWoTaberuJun 14, 2014 7:57 AM
May 2, 2014 10:18 PM
#2
You should make another fic. Mod stories are the best. |
May 2, 2014 10:18 PM
#3
NarTaco said: You should make another fic. Mod stories are the best. It's going multiple chapters. The main character in Kineta, and it will be told in third person. This is just the prologue. |
May 3, 2014 1:30 AM
#4
That is really good. Please update regularly :) |
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May 3, 2014 2:05 AM
#5
Next Chapter will be out tomorrow. I'm going to add another character I think, and go into a bit of CRAVE I think. Not sure. |
May 3, 2014 3:28 AM
#7
Could not stop laughing at MAL Project. More. |
Hikigaya Hachiman said: Hardwork betrays none, but dreams betray many. |
May 3, 2014 3:34 AM
#8
An awesome writing style.. and so far, I'm liking the plot. Please make this as a daily series~ |
May 3, 2014 4:03 AM
#9
julyan04 said: An awesome writing style.. and so far, I'm liking the plot. Please make this as a daily series~ Updated with the first chapter, but I don't know if I can do one chapter every day. I'd like the chapters to be a bit longer than they currently are. Edit: Might have to clean chapter 1 up tomorrow. It's about where I'd like it to be, but I think I may have rushed it a bit. |
SolviteWoTaberuMay 3, 2014 4:08 AM
May 3, 2014 4:11 AM
#10
julyan04 said: An awesome writing style.. and so far, I'm liking the plot. Please make this as a daily series~ If he does that, he might get an anime adaptation in the distant future. |
Hikigaya Hachiman said: Hardwork betrays none, but dreams betray many. |
May 3, 2014 4:13 AM
#11
Redraft said: julyan04 said: An awesome writing style.. and so far, I'm liking the plot. Please make this as a daily series~ If he does that, he might get an anime adaptation in the distant future. Too bad I'm white. |
May 3, 2014 4:19 AM
#12
Well, that was bloody. I have a feeling that we will meet the other mods as we go up this underground facility. So I'm also guessing that some mods will be villains? Can't wait to see who will fill those roles. And wow, Luna achieved a whole new level of badassery. SolviteSekai said: I don't know if I can do one chapter every day. Aww.. too bad. But the longer the better. |
May 3, 2014 4:21 AM
#13
julyan04 said: Well, that was bloody. I have a feeling that we will meet the other mods as we go up this underground facility. So I'm also guessing that some mods will be villains? Can't wait to see who will fill those roles. And wow, Luna achieved a whole new level of badassery. SolviteSekai said: I don't know if I can do one chapter every day. Aww.. too bad. But the longer the better. Thank god, I was worried the quality might go down when switching from the first person perspective. And not everyone will be as violent as Luna. She's freaking Luna. That's like... her thing. |
May 3, 2014 4:23 AM
#14
It feels a little weird to praise a story I'm in, but even if it were someone else or unique characters, I like the way your story is written so far. The prologue really sets the tone for the story and draws the reader in. And the first chapter portrays her feelings at being caught in this strange cell well, without being over the top. All in all, looking forward to more :) |
May 3, 2014 4:29 AM
#15
SolviteSekai said: Thank god, I was worried the quality might go down when switching from the first person perspective. I do believe that when it comes to action and adventure, 3rd POV is the way to go. Welp, it still depends on the writer's skills. SolviteSekai said: And not everyone will be as violent as Luna. She's freaking Luna. That's like... her thing. Hahaha. Can't wait to see more :> |
May 3, 2014 10:25 AM
#16
Luna to the rescue! So far, it's been a fun read. Hope to see more in the future. That spine into a hammer though... lol. |
p r o f i l e 👀 |
May 3, 2014 11:11 AM
#17
bby that spinal action was sexy ass hell. Great job thus far, looking forward to other characters. The newly enlisted mods in specific. |
May 3, 2014 11:38 AM
#18
Just for reference, Luna can do a lot more than just make a hammer. I was just tired earlier/still am tired, so the first chapter was admittedly crap for what I envision from this. I kind of just typed out some crap I thought of while eating a bowl of cocoa crispies. |
May 3, 2014 6:00 PM
#19
I wonder if this will include other mods such as news mods and review/rec mods... Interesting read, getting a resident evil/elfien lied (Though I have not seen it..) feel from this. |
May 3, 2014 6:35 PM
#20
For something you wrote out the first rurn through its nice. I think the characters are flat, not enough dimension to them as actual people. I mean, thats in nearly every story, but it bothers me. was Kineta raised w/ other people? "where the hell am I?" i think more detail into her experience of waking up confused nd in pain. mad scientists just getto run around doing this to prisoners that are obviously valuable? there should have been more of a lead up into the violence, first the crazy scientist tries to fake being nice, an attempt at following some company code of ethics...then cracking at the frustration of it and getting the goons in on it. I think that would slow down the pace a bit too, which would be an upside like Zelot said, its got an elfen leid feel to it. kinda a dark undertone of no happy ending and a fuckload of nameless soldier dying left and right. a nice story, I'm interested |
May 4, 2014 2:51 AM
#21
May 4, 2014 2:51 AM
#22
akiyuki_oh_no said: For something you wrote out the first rurn through its nice. I think the characters are flat, not enough dimension to them as actual people. I mean, thats in nearly every story, but it bothers me. was Kineta raised w/ other people? "where the hell am I?" i think more detail into her experience of waking up confused nd in pain. mad scientists just getto run around doing this to prisoners that are obviously valuable? there should have been more of a lead up into the violence, first the crazy scientist tries to fake being nice, an attempt at following some company code of ethics...then cracking at the frustration of it and getting the goons in on it. I think that would slow down the pace a bit too, which would be an upside like Zelot said, its got an elfen leid feel to it. kinda a dark undertone of no happy ending and a fuckload of nameless soldier dying left and right. a nice story, I'm interested Keep in mind that If i told you all that stuff in chapter 1, you wouldn't need to keep reading. :P I'm also trying to keep it as light and battle shounen as possible, because if i slap down giant text walls, nobody on mal will end up reading past chapter 2. As for the dark elfin lied feel, as I've said that is particularly Luna's character. Give it time for other people to show up who offset her harsh decision making. Can't argue with that flat characters. So far that's just true. |
May 7, 2014 11:56 PM
#23
Just got off the ban train, shit should be up soon. |
May 8, 2014 12:54 PM
#24
I enjoy this one a lot. I think the world and the characters are interesting~ |
Where there is no imagination there is no horror. || Arthur Conan Doyle || Happy Halloween! |
May 8, 2014 1:36 PM
#25
I have to stop being sick and be capable of reading text before i can do anything here. Hopefully people dont get bored and forget about me :( |
May 8, 2014 3:24 PM
#26
May 9, 2014 3:28 PM
#27
SolviteSekai said: Don't worry im patiently waiting for the next release.I have to stop being sick and be capable of reading text before i can do anything here. Hopefully people dont get bored and forget about me :( |
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May 10, 2014 11:48 AM
#28
wow this is solid stuff. great concept to make one about mal lol'd @ xinil's back story. will be following this |
May 10, 2014 6:10 PM
#29
Ok, I threw up Chapter 2 and 3, and a special interlude chapter narrated by Xinil. I'm hoping to flesh out a bit of his story and his reasons for what he did in these interludes, so I hope people enjoy them. |
May 10, 2014 6:14 PM
#30
I love this story. It is so interesting~ |
Where there is no imagination there is no horror. || Arthur Conan Doyle || Happy Halloween! |
May 11, 2014 1:42 PM
#31
whoah, two and a half chapters posted! that took a bit of time to read.. this is getting interesting, is Luna really a Vampire or is that just a silly name? hehe luna a vampire.. I love the use of "IRC" curious if you will give that a new acronym xD |
May 11, 2014 8:55 PM
#32
I believe chapter 4 will be up tomorrow. Also, the first legitimate fight scene should come fairly soon. It wont be like Elfen Lied with faceless deaths, that was just the intro. |
May 11, 2014 8:57 PM
#33
SolviteSekai said: I believe chapter 4 will be up tomorrow. Also, the first legitimate fight scene should come fairly soon. It wont be like Elfen Lied with faceless deaths, that was just the intro. I am looking forward to it. So that means actual people will die every time! I will have to wait to see what happens |
Where there is no imagination there is no horror. || Arthur Conan Doyle || Happy Halloween! |
May 14, 2014 3:10 PM
#34
GOAT |
May 19, 2014 1:48 PM
#35
RandomChampion said: GOAT Hmm? |
May 19, 2014 2:07 PM
#36
May 19, 2014 7:51 PM
#37
More coming soon. |
May 21, 2014 6:31 PM
#38
SolviteSekai said: Yay, good news~More coming soon. |
Where there is no imagination there is no horror. || Arthur Conan Doyle || Happy Halloween! |
May 23, 2014 10:00 AM
#39
This almost fell off the first page, so I had to bump it to say I really enjoyed the last chapters and am looking forward to seeing more :) |
May 23, 2014 3:08 PM
#40
The problem is im having horrendous issues with my medicine. I'm on the verge of having to hit the hospital. I'll try to write some but i dont want to upload a bad set of chapters. This story has shown me how much my illness and physical issues effect my ability to function on a schedule. |
May 23, 2014 3:54 PM
#41
SolviteSekai said: The problem is im having horrendous issues with my medicine. I'm on the verge of having to hit the hospital. I'll try to write some but i dont want to upload a bad set of chapters. This story has shown me how much my illness and physical issues effect my ability to function on a schedule. hope all goes well |
May 26, 2014 2:30 PM
#42
SolviteSekai said: We await patiently for new chapters~The problem is im having horrendous issues with my medicine. I'm on the verge of having to hit the hospital. I'll try to write some but i dont want to upload a bad set of chapters. This story has shown me how much my illness and physical issues effect my ability to function on a schedule. |
Where there is no imagination there is no horror. || Arthur Conan Doyle || Happy Halloween! |
May 27, 2014 3:37 AM
#43
That was pretty amazing. I will be keeping up with this ^~^ |
IZEROII said: If you legitimately enjoyed this as a series then I honestly believe you need to reevaluate your definition of entertainment because watching tin foil blow in the wind probably is a way you kill time. SolviteSekai said: Lol wish fulfillment. It's always been my wish to be a greasy lolicon with a mullet who plays Civ all day every day. He got me. |
Jun 2, 2014 10:49 AM
#44
AnimeLov3r69 said: That was pretty amazing. I will be keeping up with this ^~^ I'm truly sorry for the lack of progress. The ball will be rolling soon. Like, within a day or so. |
Jun 5, 2014 8:18 AM
#45
SolviteSekai said: All good haha ^~^AnimeLov3r69 said: That was pretty amazing. I will be keeping up with this ^~^ I'm truly sorry for the lack of progress. The ball will be rolling soon. Like, within a day or so. |
IZEROII said: If you legitimately enjoyed this as a series then I honestly believe you need to reevaluate your definition of entertainment because watching tin foil blow in the wind probably is a way you kill time. SolviteSekai said: Lol wish fulfillment. It's always been my wish to be a greasy lolicon with a mullet who plays Civ all day every day. He got me. |
Jun 10, 2014 5:26 PM
#46
Ok, I'm going to start writing again. Notice I had to resort to a time skip to get past what was giving me extreme writers block, and with no medicinal changes in the future, this is just what its going to be. I plan to make the next arc (aka this shit thats going down) much better than the first part, so please hang with me during this shitty rough patch. |
Jun 11, 2014 2:13 PM
#47
tachii has ice in his veins too goot |
Jun 11, 2014 2:14 PM
#48
RandomChampion said: tachii has ice in his veins too goot Feel like i fucked it up, but it will get better in the next part. Now that I'm not written into a corner. |
Jun 11, 2014 2:16 PM
#49
SolviteSekai said: RandomChampion said: tachii has ice in his veins too goot Feel like i fucked it up, but it will get better in the next part. Now that I'm not written into a corner. i dont see how anything is fucked up . this is a better story than those of most anime i see nowadays |
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