Ranked #5216

Battle Royal High School

Pain has been given a name; and it’s Battle Royal High School. Granted I wasn’t going into my experience of this anime with high expectations of quality, but for God's sake is it too much to ask for a story that makes even the most teensy-weensy bit of sense?

I usually begin my reviews with an analysis of the story. Unfortunately after watching it I just don’t get it. Now perhaps if I did something crazy like subject myself to a second viewing I might find an unexpected bonus of plot, sort of like the toy surprise at the bottom of a box of cereal, but who am I kidding? I love myself far too much to do that.

However what I did manage to piece together is that Hyoudo is in high school and he’s really good at karate. I will let it pass that despite being in high school he looks like he’s in his 30s and is built like an East German bodybuilder. Hey Hyoudo, save some steroids for the rest of the world would ya? Anyway Hyoudo has the very shounen goal of being the world’s strongest fighter and after kicking the crap out of his own schools karate club so he could quit and then fight other schools club members, Hyoudo gets his wish. (Just close your eyes and count to three, this isn’t supposed to make sense I guess) Conveniently there is a resident tsundere who despite being one fifth his size can kick his ass and keep him in check. This is when things take a turn for the bizarre. Suddenly a demon lord from another dimension enters the story and joins bodies with Hyoudo so he can do battle with other strange inter-dimensional beings, monsters, and future spacemen. Thus Battle Royal High School is able to combine the holy trinity of shounen action of GAR hand-to-hand combat, sword fighting, and power suits with monsters, gore, and plenty of underage T&A.

As far as pure action goes, this anime isn’t all that bad. The fights are fairly entertaining if not amusing for their downright ridiculousness. The gore is over the top and the blood is spilled by the liter. These are all pretty much staples of the genre, and this show does nothing new to set it apart. The story fails completely though as mentioned. Really nothing is really explained, the ending is barely adequate.

It’s a bit redundant to call the characters in Battle Royal High School clichéd. That much is obvious, however one of the most unbelievable things to accept about the show was just how the characters looked. In particular some of the male characters that in some cases looked like old men who have no business being high school students. It’s difficult to talk about any of them because there is little time spent developing them. The action just moves from fight to fight and about the only thing we learn about any of them is the meek girl Megumi, who secretly pines for the meat headed Hyoudo.

For a 80s era show the art isn’t bad at all. The action is drawn and animated pretty well, as is the blood and gore. Typical of this era the gore is drawn with a healthy portion of bubbly intestines and spewing blood. It’s a bit silly looking but I kind of like the style. The characters are pretty silly looking, with the men all being typical muscle bound shounen beefcakes and the girls looking suitable demure and feminine.

About the nicest thing I can say about the musical performances is that they are...dated. Its typical Engrish mid 80s rock music, and the ending song in particular is a perfect example of the kind of bands that have been left to the dustbin of history. I would say the acting is as equally horrible but given how shitty the music is that’s probably not very fair.

In conclusion, all but the most diehard shounen and martial arts action fans should stay clear of this anime turd. There might be some nostalgia in it for some older fans and maybe some lulz for others. This is a public service I provide for you, I watch bad anime so you don’t have too.
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