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Under Kumeta-sensei's bed...
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Jan 3, 2022
Before we get started I just want to mention the irrelevant fact that I was born in the 90's, okay. I grew up in the 90's and I'm going to tell everyone. Did I mention that I was born in the 90's yet? 10 Top Things Only 90's Kids Will Remember!!!! Number 3 will fuck your dad!!!!! Sorry, I had to get that out of my system. If you have ever said that in an anime review, you need to get that fuckshit outta here. Nobody cares, just talk about the anime and get to the point. Stop wasting my time! Number 3 was Rocko's
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Modern Life, if anyone cares. Anyway, Bungou Stray Dogs. スタート
I understand there's more to the story. This is just a smaller piece to an even larger narrative, I completely understand, but as it's own stand-alone story, season one of Bungou Stray Dogs was a pretty underwhelming and lukewarm experience. I still like it, regardless. On the surface, it clearly seemed like something I would've loved and revisited for years to come. After watching the first two episodes I was getting strong Kekkai Sensen vibes and set my expectations pretty high. On paper, this entire show is pretty damn cool, but in execution, it's meh. Minor spoilers. Just minor ones, I promise. But if you're reading this, chances are you've already seen the show.
When I was in the middle of watching this show, a thought came to my head. I'm under the distinct impression that this show cares more about style rather than substance. When it comes to the setting and world of Bungou Stray Dogs, it felt like I wasn't properly introduced and established to anything. It's just about a group of people who work for a detective agency doing cool shit on screen. I'm skipping a few details and there is a story here, but my point is, this show never gives you a good enough reason to care about what's going on in the actual story. And it also doesn't give you a good reason to care about these characters. Atsushi is a rather unique example when it comes to this, because in episode one, the show explains to the audience of Atsushi's past, background, and trauma. It's a very disheartening and sad story, but as a character, not a fan. Sorry. If I'm being entirely sincere I'm not a fan of his personality and character traits. I've watched too much anime at this point to care about another low self-esteem, self-loathing, and self-doubting teenager playing the lead of an anime. I've seen it too many times and it becomes more and more unconvincing each time I see it. It makes me groan and roll my eyes. At least the show gives you a reason to care about Atsushi and over time he begins to evolve into a young man with a little more confidence and skill. Near the end of the first season, you begin to realize that he becomes less dependent on his other co-workers and that was nice to see. He still needs help every once and a while, but hey, progress. :P
Osamu Dazai was disappointing. You'll hear me say that a few more times about these characters. Obviously, there's a lot more under the surface of his character. However in this season, you get NOTHING. Just a tease, but essentially nothing. It's like asking the anime, "Hey, do you think you could maybe flesh out Dazai's character just a little more?" And then the anime is like, "Oh, sure thing, bro!" And then they fax you a picture of a monkey pissing in it's own face. It was the writing equivalent of that. It was fun. *Winky face*
I'll say this right now so I can get this out of my system. Dazai is not funny. Humor is subjective yes, yes, yes, but this show's attempts at humor are just like Dazai's suicide attempts...it fails.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's disease? You meet new people everyday.
Seeeeeeeeeeee? That's a good one, you gotta admit. That joke alone is a lot better than most of the humor that came out of this show. Dazai's infatuation with suicide is very peculiar. I was told by a friend that it makes more sense if you read the novels written by the actual Osamu Dazai, but uh.......................... I don't care. Don't do that. No, no, no. Don't do that. Don't make read a bunch of novels to understand a character from an anime. I'm not going to jump into a book that will take up many hours of my time so I can fully understand the actions of a character I don't care about. I could be JO-ing to Naomi during those hours. If you're curious about my JO schedule, send me a message, we can sort this out. I'm positive more is explained in the later seasons, but all that tells me so far is that you can't write compelling characters without leaning on the contexts of pre-existing novels. Not cool. His suicide shtick is not funny and it gets old quick.
The suicide stuff reminded me of Itoshiki-sensei. Both characters have a deep fascination with death and suicide. Both even keep a catalog of who they might possibly have a double suicide with. And after thinking about Itoshiki-sensei for a while, that made dislike Dazai just a little bit more. It's a weird parallel, I know. And I hope it's okay that I talk about Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei for a quick second. This will sound pretty messed up considering I'm talking about suicide, but Itoshiki's suicide attempts were actually explained and felt more justified than Dazai's. Suicide is a major theme of Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, especially the early parts of the series, because Itoshiki would give valid reasons for his attempts even if it was exaggerated for the sake of comedy. Even if you don't find that show funny, it makes perfect sense. The suicidal aspect of Itoshiki's character would slowly fade over time, so it became less relevant. Dazai wants to kill himself just for the sake of it, with a beautiful woman. That's all. Nothing more. You can laugh now. I'm sure the kids find it funny. I can't stand Dazai. And yes, I'm fully aware that one of the many inspirations of Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei is "No Longer Human" by Osamu Dazai. I just think Itoshiki is a more convincing and well-written character. I can feel the "Edginess" of Dazai oozing from the screen. Not a fan.
None of the other characters are all that fleshed out, as well. They all just feel like one-note characters rather than people. I don't care about any of them. The show doesn't give you a reason to care about them or what's going on. Hell, two characters that I did enjoy on some level, Junichirou and Naomi disappear for most of the show and pop up out of nowhere near the end like nothing happened. I'm trying my best not to get into spoilers. I especially missed Naomi. She's a real cutie with a nice ass. I'd give her a good poke, if you know what I'm sayin'? And the mole on her face was a nice touch. I don't hate all of these characters, I just feel they're flashy and not very nuanced. Ranpo seemed liked a pretty cool dude. He reminds me of myself. Someone who acts a lot younger than what they actually are, and is kind of a lazy asshole. DAT ME HAHAHA. We don't get much of him, but I enjoyed him. There isn't much to his character, anyway. There was a great scene later into the season where the president of the agency was trying to convince Ranpo to do an assignment and Ranpo refused. So the president tells him that if he cooperates, he will give him praise. And Ranpo widens his eyes, does the slow turn to the president, and says, "Why didn't you say so sooner!" With a huge grin on his face. Excellent scene. Can't fully explain why I love it so much.
The show also introduces a few one-off characters throughout the show. The one-off character would be the central focus of an episode and have some connection to the assignment the gang is working on. If you just pay attention to what's going on and don't look away for a second, it's pretty obvious what's going to happen in the climax of the episode. There's usually a twist, but if you see it coming, like I always did, you'll feel almost nothing afterwards. It tries to pull the "dramatic irony twist" to get you emotional. That kind of storytelling is not inherently a bad thing, I just think Bungou Stray Dogs' writing is not clever enough to pull it off well.
Akutagawa, the big bad villain, was also disappointing. You want some cheese with all that whine, good sir? There's a clear connection between Dazai and Akutagawa. They both worked with each other at some point, and now, Akutagawa despises Dazai, which I can understand lol. He is jealous of Dazai's new protégé, Atsushi. All because he wanted to impress Dazai? I believe that was the reason. Can't quite remember at this point. If I'm remembering this correctly, and that was his motivation for most of what he did, he was a very unimpressive and unmemorable villain. He gave me a good fright when he was first introduced, but where he ends up was just disappointing. Also they just straight-up named a character F. Scott Fitzgerald. Are you fucking kidding me? Wow, that's not even subtle at all. It's not really an issue I have with the show, it just made me facepalm when I came to that realization. I just watched The Great Gatsby the other day and mentioned it in a previous review. Something weird is going on. And yes, they also named a character Osamu Dazai, I know. But I feel that there's a little more obscurity when it comes to his name compared to F. Scott Fitzgerald. And I don't care if you were already familiar with Osamu Dazai before watching this show. There's a greater chance of someone not understanding the Osamu Dazai reference compared to the F. Scott Fitzgerald reference. That's all I'm trying to say. The latter just feels more forced to me. Who hasn't read The Great Gatsby!? You can easily make the argument that Osamu Dazai is a very well-known and famous author, and I agree with you. I just feel that on a worldwide scale, there's plenty of authors who are more recognized than he is. Jane Austen, John Steinbeck, George Orwell, Shel Silverstein, fucking Dr. Suess, and F. Scott Fitzgerald! I'm not trying to disregard Dazai, I just don't think his name is as universal as some people say. It's all a matter of perspective and how you came to discover someone and at what time. This show really likes making literature references, huh?
The animation and art design is one positive I can mention about this show. Everything looked beautiful and polished, very pleasing to my gross, disgusting eyeballs that watch too much anime. I knew I recognized those character designs. The characters in this show look just like the ones from Soul Eater. I thought that was nice. Action scenes are well animated, but I wasn't surprised about that at all, considering it was Bones. They always deliver a good fight scene. I can't really complain about the visuals in this anime, it all looks great. Even the OP and ED look pretty good, despite the fact that I'm not a fan of the OP. Yep, sorry. It's really the song that I don't like. It just doesn't sound very good. Not my thing when I comes to music. And I think that's mostly it. There's some other stuff I could briefly mention, but it's nothing noteworthy, just one-off comments. Bungou Stray Dogs gets a 6 out of 10 for me. It was a 7 at some point and slowly went down.
What I learned today: I would more than likely eat Naomi out.
The rest of my scores:
Story: 4/10
Art: 8/10
Sound: 5/10
Characters: 4/10
Enjoyment: 6/10
Overall: 6/10
Reviewer’s Rating: 6
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Dec 16, 2021
I already finished this show and I just now looked at how many users Princess Lover has. Holy Jesus! Did I miss something? Over 100,000 users! I feel like I'm out of the loop here. And the score is not all that great, considering the large amount of people who watched this. Princess Lover is serviceable. I legitimately had fun with the show, but at it's core, it all just feels very shallow. I mean, I already had that idea going into it. On the surface it looks like any other generic late 2000's ecchi series, and it was just that, sorta. I'm conflicted, because
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I had a good time with the show, but I can't say a lot positive things about it.
Teppei Arima loses his parents in a terrible accident and he is forced to move in with his well off grandfather. He transfers to a prestigious highschool of snobby rich kids, and slowly learns they way of the wealthy life. It's like that one scene in The Great Gatsby, Teppei adopts many of the fancy mannerisms to fit in with his peers and over time, he adapts to his new environment. He encounters this beautiful girl who looks just like the vampire chick from Rosario to Vampire, named Charlotte Hazerlink. She's a cute little princess who quickly falls in love with Teppei and yada yada yada. She's not my favorite girl in the group, that honor goes to Syliva van Hossen. She's a perfect example of how this show puts a lot emphasis on big ass. It's very rare that an anime does that, they mostly focus on the tits. I greatly appreciate that. Sylvia is Teppei's fiancée and she has a great respect for Teppei, because while other boys were financially successful and had parents, he was studying the blade. He's also a good sparring partner for her in fencing. She's a cute tomboy with a deep voice and is definitely best girl, fight me.
And then you have the rejects, I MEAN, other girls you should care about. Like Seika Houjouin. When Teppei first transfered to the school, Seika immediately saw him for who he truly was, a commoner, and treated him as such. During the early parts of the show she had a very rotten personality and has these two sidekicks that stay by her side all of the time. And guess what, as the series goes on she falls in love with Teppei and becomes slightly less of a spiteful meanie. She's okay. And the last one I'll mention because I'm already sick of talking about these characters, Yuu Fujikura. She's the head maid of the Arima estate. A soft spoken and mild mannered girl who would've been my favorite if Syliva wasn't there.
Shockingly, the show is well made and I got in a few laughs, but other than that, I can't say many positive things about it. Alfred (Charlotte's butler) was an absolute riot to watch. His obsession with Charlotte was very entertaining and how he acts like an overprotective grandfather. There's a goofy scene that happens later in the show where Teppei and Alfred do rock, paper, scissors in the middle of the action to see who gets to ride the motorcycle and chase after Charlotte. It was a scene that made me smile for how out of nowhere it all was. The girls are unbelievably cute and they all have nice asses which I mentioned earlier. Almost forgot about these two guys that were working with the villain who were incredibly kind to Charlotte. They also went to medical school and play a semi-important role later on. It was fun watching them be goofy.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand that's it. That's all I can say about Good Old Fashioned Princess Lover Boy. It's not offensively bad in anyway, it's just nothing substantial. Nothing happens for most of the show and it's not until the last four episodes when the plot kicks in. The villain was lame. His actions were a little predictable, and the reveal in the last episode I also called relatively early. Just like writing this review, watching this show felt pointless. Why am I still writing? Why are you still reading this? Is anyone even listening to me? Please leave.
Reviewer’s Rating: 5
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Oct 16, 2021
This is a type of torturing method they would use in Guntanamo Bay. They play Princess Resurrection on loop endlessly to the prisoners and the experience is so bad, you have to get a spoon and shove it up your eye; to distract yourself from the pain. What a great anime to review in the month of October. Around the same time last year, I was watching an amazing suspense/horror anime called Shiki. Now I'm watching this. This isn't the worst anime I've seen, but it was very difficult to sit through. I couldn't even muster up the strength to finish it. This review won't
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go into any major spoilers, because I don't want to talk about this anime for too long.
Young, wet behind the ears, Hiro Hiyorimi, dies trying to save a beautiful princess by the name of Hime. She comes from a demonic family of royals. Hime brings Hiro back to life by making him half immortal, which in this case, I'd rather be dead than be half immortal. You see, the catch is that Hiro's "immortality" is limited. He is only living through borrowed time and has to be revived by Hime every few days. Otherwise, he will die permanently. He is essentially a battery that needs to be recharged every few days. And through weird circumstances, Hiro, and his older sister Sawawa, now work for and live under Hime. Hime as a character is pretty uninteresting. She's the stoic, cold-hearted princess who doesn't care for most things, especially other people. Unless you work for her, then she might possibly, maybe, perhaps, sorta like you. And on a Friday evening. You're also introduced to characters like Flandre, an android who works as a maid and can only say "Huga" and that's it. Why is this the case? It's never really explained. Flandre's older sister, Francisca, is also the same way.
You have other characters like Riza, a werewolf half breed, and without going into spoilers, during her first appearance she despises Hime and tries to kill her. And once again, through weird circumstances she ends up living and working under her. You have Reiri, this completely innocuous and inconspicuous vampire chick who probably has the tightest pussy on planet Earth, and is clearly not planning Hime's demise. Reiri obviously plays a bigger role in the story and a lot of the conflict in this anime is connected to her. This isn't a spoiler, it's pretty obvious during the episode she's introduced in. You can tell there's much more going on in the background, but the anime wants to stay mysterious for the vast majority of it. I'm positive, that if I stuck it out just a little bit longer it all would've been explained. However, and I'm being nice here, this show is such a snorefest, my god! Most of the eighteen episodes I watched were episodic. Each episode would typically play out like this. The characters will be minding their own business in Hime's mansion. Since she's royal blood, monsters and other demonic creatures of hell would want to suckle on her blue blooded teet. Her blood gives unbelievable power to anyone who drinks it. A monster attacks the mansion, and then the main characters win through stale, sluggish, and stiffly animated battles that drag on for an eternity. This happens a lot and it very quickly becomes repetitive. This is a horror, action series but the action is one of the many weak points of this anime. It does action so poorly and everything is so stiff. And the monsters that attack Hime's mansion are ordinary mummies, sea monsters, werewolves, etc. Nothing scary in the least.
None of the characters are all that compelling and are written all that well. I skipped quite a few of them, but they're not worth mentioning. Characters are never quite on model, especially during the action scenes. This entire show is painful to look at most of the time. Boring, uninspired soundtrack, with the exception of one song. This one song is the only great positive I can give this show. "Hizamazuite Ashi Wo Oname" or "Kneel Down and lick my Feet." The ED for this show, AMAZING. This show doesn't deserve an ED like this. And it's one of the very few instances where the characters look good and it's well animated. One of the best ED's I've seen in a while. It has incredible lyrics such as:
"Kneel down and lick my crimson nails"
"With your tangled tongue, and call me your queen."
This is just the very first line of the song. I can get down with that.
(〃￣ω￣〃)
Pure sadism. Nice.
The frantic melody of the song mixed with the singer's beautiful and operatic voice makes the song sound so good. I love it. That's the only good thing I can say about this show. Also Riza dancing in front of the camera is pure gold. Like a late 90's hip hop music video. I thought giving this a "3" was pretty harsh, but it was so difficult to sit through. Very little of it was enjoyable to me. It's a pretty bad sign if it's starting to become painful to sit through. It's also riddled with tropes that we've all seen a trillion times, but here, it's much more egregious for how forced it all was. This show definitely deserves a 3 out of 10. It feels a bit arbitrary, yes, but a "2" and a "3" are pretty much interchangeable for me. I've seen worse anime out there, but this sucked. My scores:
Story: 3/10
Art: 3/10
Sound: 4/10 (The ED got me through some of the show)
Characters: 3/10
Enjoyment: 2/10
Overall: 3/10
Reviewer’s Rating: 3
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Sep 16, 2021
*SPOILERS INCOMING*
More like Rumbling Farts, am I right? Comedy genius, I know. But in all seriousness, this is a great romance anime. Just the first two episodes alone were absolutely fantastic. Main character, Narumi Takayuki is confessed to a girl by the name of H̶a̶r̶u̶h̶i̶ Haruka Suzumiya. Haruka was introduced to Narumi by her best friend, Mitsuki Hayase, and when Haruka confesses her love for Narumi, they immediately hit it off. I’m truly shocked at how quickly the romance in this anime progresses. This anime accomplishes more in just two episodes than what most romance shows can do in twelve episodes, twenty-four, hell even forty-eight
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episodes. Which is another perfect example of why Kimagure Orange Road is a god-awful romance anime! Man, oh man, I always find some way to punch that anime in the gut.
Don’t you just love watching an anime where it takes an entire season for the characters to actually hook up, acknowledging the fact that they’re in a relationship and hold hands for the first time? Maybe even kiss for the first time? It’s so fulfilling to watch, sure, but Haruka and Narumi’s relationship blossoms so quickly that they’re French kissing in episode one, and by episode two they’re fucking! Unprotected sex, as well. Don't we all like it raw? However, while waiting for Narumi to show up for their date, one day, Haruka is tragically hit by car, and the aftermath is gruesome. Once it’s revealed that Haruka was the victim, the music cuts in with impeccable timing and my jaw dropped when this scene happened. It reminded me of the scene from Hunter x Hunter when Killua threatened to kill Sadaso and Hunting For Your Dream by Galneryus came on at the perfect moment. For Rumbling Hearts, it was just so… unexpected. It was “almost” an entirely wholesome love story. And there was no OP or ED for the first and beginning of the second episode, by the way. What an amazing but also upsetting way to end an episode like that. An extremely bold decision. And I respect that.
Haruka survives the accident, but she ends up in a coma as a result. The show does a three-year time skip where Narumi and Mitsuki start a relationship and Haruka is pretty much forgotten with time. That is, until she wakes up. Things get very complicated after this point, and it would be difficult to explain what happens. In my opinion, the rest of the show is not as strong as the first two episodes and slowly teeters out after a while. However, the whole thing is rather impressive for a romance anime and the ending is heart-warming.
My thoughts on Narumi as a character are mostly positive. Despite being only fifty minutes of content, I loved seeing his relationship with Haruka develop at the beginning of the show. After the accident with Haruka, Narumi became a nervous wreck, until he starts a relationship with Mitsuki. He gets a job working at a family restaurant and everything is normal. Mitsuki is also a bit of a nervous wreck, as well. Pre-time skip she was the big swimming star of her school, but eventually quit and got an office job. When she isn’t at school, she’s with Narumi and they also make a good couple. Haruka, the girl I prefer more than Mitsuki, is a sweetheart. Sorry for not being an unbiased party, dawg. Haruka is in the hospital for the vast majority of the series and is the quintessential reason for the conflict and drama between the characters. When she awakens, she handles the situation quite well for someone who got caught up in a traumatic accident and lost three years of her life. There are other characters like Akane, Haruka’s little sister. Pre-time skip Akane is pretty enjoyable and fun to watch, but post-time skip Akane is a lot more bitter and stoic after her sister’s accident. Completely understandable. One last character I’ll briefly mention is Daikuuji. She’s… peculiar. She has the tendency of having these crazy, unhinged outbursts and telling people to step in cat shit. That insult is oddly specific and also questionable. She is hot, though. Blondé hair with nice tits. I just love the entire concept of this anime and the character dynamics. It’s all so good.
The visuals themselves are not the show’s strong suit. Early 2000’s anime have the habit of being a tad ugly. Not all, but many. For a story like this, the visual department and animation is not completely important. This was very refreshing to watch, and I know I’ve been saying that the past few times, but it really was. I’ve not mentioned the music because it’s one of the weaker aspects of this anime. It’s not bad in any way, just nothing substantial and worth mentioning. My scores:
Story: 8/10
Art: 6/10
Sound: 5/10
Character: 8/10
Enjoyment: 8/10
Overall: 8/10
Reviewer’s Rating: 8
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Jul 28, 2021
Finally, I'm at the last film. And I gotta say, didn't realize I was watching Ranma ½ and the secret movie I didn't hear about. That was a stupid joke, but I'll explain why I mentioned that in a second. To be perfectly frank, there's nothing really substantial to mention about this film, except for the fact that Urusei Yatsura Movie 6: Always My Darling was made for the ten year anniversary of the Urusei Yatsura anime. I thought that was pretty special and worth mentioning. Minor Spoilers.
I'll keep this short, the storyline behind this film feels like they took specific parts of previous Urusei
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Yatsura films and stitched them together to make...this. I won't summarize the plot, because I'll sound like a broken record, but if you made it this far into Urusei Yatsura and read the synopsis for this film, you know exactly what's going to happen. None of it was bad in any way, but you've seen it all before. It had some goofy moments that made laugh, and some sad moments that made me a little emotional. It's just Urusei Yatsura, that's all. The story wasn't exceptional, but it wasn't underwhelming either. It was just mediocre. I do love the scene where Ataru tricks his entire class and manipulates them into doing random stuff for the love potion. Mendo threatens to kill Ataru if he doesn't tell him where it is, but Ataru can't tell them where it is if he's dead, so he takes advantage of them. That was a great scene, but it didn't last all that long.
The music is not worth mentioning. It sounds just like the other songs from the last couple of films. Something that is worth mentioning are the character designs. I love them! I briefly mentioned in my last review that over time, the character designs, with each film were becoming more refined and expressive. I think the characters look fine in any specific way they're drawn; even in the first film. Always My Darling did an excellent job at giving these characters a more updated 90's look, it fits them very well. It looks like I'm watching Ranma ½! They have the exact same character designs, and at this point, Takahashi's art style had changed a lot over a decade.
This film was okay. It had it's moments, but it wasn't all that good. I'm still putting it ahead of Remember My Love, because that film feels so uninspired and dry compared to the other films. Keep in mind, the gap in quality between Remember My Love and Always My Darling is not that big. I'm giving it a slight edge, only because I found more enjoyment out of this film. And with that, I'M DONE REVIEWING THESE MOVIES! Took some time, and a few pair of eyeballs, but I'm done. This movie gets a 6 out of 10. I'm gonna go watch Ranma ½ for the umpteenth time. Later, fuckfaces (￣▽￣)ノ.
Movies: 3 < 6 < 1 < 4 < 2 < 5
Story: 4/10
Art: 7/10
Sound: 5/10
Characters: 6/10
Enjoyment: 7/10
Overall: 6/10
Reviewer’s Rating: 6
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Jul 21, 2021
Apparently, this film adapts the final story arc of the Urusei Yatsura manga, but it's not the final film. Go figure. This was great film! Probably my favorite Urusei Yatsura movie, so far. And yes, I liked it more Beautiful Dreamer. I'm going to summarize this entire film and give my thoughts along the way, because it's definitely worth talking about. So, no shit, I'm going to spoil the whole thing. I saw the 7.46 score and thought to myself, "Okay, I'll bite. What the heckie is going on in this motion picture!?"
I've been marathoning and writing reviews for these films back to back
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and I've noticed two particular motifs. Either the world is falling apart by time and space being altered and manipulated. Lum is often connected to why the Earth is falling apart in the first place. Or it's a marriage plotline. This film is the latter. At least, it was for the first-half. A gross, decrepit old man meets a young Lum on her home planet, promising that he will return for her when she becomes older. In present day, present time ha ha ha ha ha 1988, Lum receives a message from her father, telling her that her great-grandfather has been found and he's been in a deep, cold sleep for twenty years. I'd like to quickly mention that the character designs in this film look great. I've noticed with time, the characters begin to look less sloppy and much more refined; especially after the first two films. Lum's father tells his grandfather that he has a great-granddaughter is coming by to visit them. This news terrifies Lum's great-grandfather, and it's revealed that one hundred and twenty years ago, Lum's great-grandfather made an agreement to the gross, decrepit old man, that if a girl is ever born in the family, the old man will take the girl for himself. I forgot to mention that the old man was young during that flashback one hundred and twenty years ago. It's difficult to tell, because he's always wearing a dark cloak and has the same goofy ass face. I thought this was a bit strange, because Lum's mother was also an option, but no one really mentions that. You can consider that a plothole, but the old man, at the very beginning of the film, said to Lum specifically, when she was a child, that he was going to return to HER when she got older. The man's got an excellent memory.
Introducing Rupa, the reason for why the old man is so adamant on capturing Lum. Master Rupa is the great-grandson of the old man and when the boy was young, he gave his great-grandson a pendant with a picture of Lum on it. He tells Rupa that he will someday marry this girl when he's older. And you ain't gonna believe this shit mutha fucka, but Rupa shows up to Earth, so he can take Lum for himself. Ataru feels a little out of character in this film, because he's so against someone else trying to confess their love to Lum, and stealing her away from him. Why would Ataru care? He's a womanizer. If anything, he should happy that someone is trying to steal her. However, Ataru is jealous, and he doesn't want anyone taking Lum. Before Rupa leaves on his chariot of Ryogas (If you've seen Ranma ½ you'll get that reference) he slips a ring onto Lum's finger, that slowly drains her of her powers. Her horns come off, meaning she has no powers. Rupa shows up once more with feeling, and steals Lum. Remember that Lum loses her horns here, this will be important later.
I don't understand why Benten and Oyuki show up every time Lum is in trouble. Strange how they have such impeccable timing. Anyway, they both show up and Lum is nowhere to be found. And right before they show up, Ataru tries to bribe Mendo into giving up his spaceship to save Lum. This scene is hilarious because he gives Mendo a bag filled with many phone numbers and addresses of women in Tomobiki. Ataru and the gang decide to take the easy route and save Lum with Benten and Oyuki. They all travel to Rupa's planet, which I'm going to call the Mushroom Kingdom. It makes sense in context. Rupa and his great-grandfather want to guarantee a successful marriage, so they clone Lum just in case the real Lum causes problems, and the clone is completely submissive. During this time, Ataru and the gang make it to the Mushroom Kingdom and are almost immediately captured by the royal guards, except for Ataru. Ataru escapes and meets a completely psychotic woman by the name of Carla. Carla is in love with Rupa, and it's a whole unrequited love situation. Carla is going to pretend to marry Ataru to make Rupa jealous. Are you confused yet? Trust me it makes sense in context. Ataru and Carla interrupt Lum and Rupa's wedding which gave me a déjà vu moment, because it reminds me of the climax of the first Urusei Yatsura film. Unlike the first Urusei Yatsura film, it takes an upsetting turn for the worse, when the real Lum is replaced by a clone. Ataru tells Lum, not knowing he's talking to a clone, that she needs to come home and not marry Rupa. She tells Ataru to piss off and this devastates Ataru, to the point where he actually plans on marrying Carla, just to get back at Lum. The real Lum hears about this and she plans to stay with Rupa, just to get back at Ataru. Ataru and Lum now hate each other and Ataru leaves Lum at the Mushroom Kingdom.
After this point, Ataru and the gang go back to Earth, including Carla. The movie slows down for a little bit, because the last twenty-five minutes up until this point was pure action. Things calm down for a little bit until Carla, the MVP of this film, brings along these inconspicuous mushrooms that grow to an enormous size when exposed to heat and/or light. Fantastic. So, they end up growing to a massive size. Overnight, the mushrooms take over the town of Tomobiki and the entire world. Lum and Rupa see this, and send a message to the people of Earth. The mushrooms will destroy the planet in ten days, and Rupa as the ability to stop the mushrooms by using the Ryogas. Lum interrupts and tells Ataru that if he can grab her by the horns within the ten day timeframe, Rupa will get rid of the mushrooms. I thought this was a great idea, because it's a callback to the very first episode of Urusei Yatsura. The series did a good job by bringing the storyline home full circle. Ataru also has the alternate choice of telling Lum that he loves her. If he says "I love you" to Lum, then everything is resolved. But he's a prideful asshole, so he refuses to do so. The final act of the film becomes very emotional at this point, but I was thinking to myself, "Why didn't Ataru just use the suction gun like he did in the first episode." I know that would ruin the moment, but it worked the last time. I forgot to mention that Lum also made a back-up plan just in case Ataru failed to grab her by the horns. She has the completely insane plan of using the MEMORY ERASING MACHINE OR WHATEVER to wipe everyone's memory clean. If you were discriminate against pencils, would you be erase-ist? Seems a bit overkill, considering the Earth will fall apart in ten days. It does lead to a pretty hysterical scene where the activation switch was the table that Benten was hitting against. She was trying to prevent it from being activated and accidentally set it off. Great scene, but I'm not going to mention the machine all that much, because it doesn't lead to anything noteworthy.
Time is running out quickly and Ataru isn't even close to catching Lum. However, during this time, Rupa discovers Carla on Earth and he apologies for his rude behavior. Carla was madly in love with Rupa and he dismissed her feelings for him. He realized that he was wrong and told Carla that he loves her. This scene kinda comes out of nowhere, but it was pretty romantic. Rupa decides to get rid of the mushrooms anyway, but the relationship between Lum and Ataru still needs fixing. Earlier in the film, when Lum lost her powers and lost her horns, they eventually grew back and she regained her powers. Ataru took her previous horns and used them to stop Lum. Ataru truly cares for Lum, because he had her horns the entire time or whatever. I promise you, it's a genuinely sweet moment, but it's difficult to explain and makes sense in context. Take a shot every time I said that in this review. They make up, and that's how the movie ends. It's also the official ending of Urusei Yatsura and honestly, it was a nice story.
What a fantastic film. I'm fully aware that the way I wrote this review, I didn't make it sound all that great. I'm really sorry if this review wasn't all that good, I'm absolutely exhausted from watching and writing all the time. I know that I'm in the minority when saying this, but this is my favorite Urusei Yatsura film, and I found it to be much more enjoyable than the second film. People just loooove Beautiful Dreamer! I'm going to be the outlier here and say this is the superior film. The storyline was much more entertaining and easier to follow. And it was just a nice conclusion to a ridiculous rom-com story like this. It was a heartfelt movie that got me a little emotional with it's amazing climax and ending. Sure the visual direction is not as strong as Beautiful Dreamer, but I feel that people only praise that film for it's visual direction/mind-fuck scenes, the man who directed it, and nothing else. If I'm being entirely honest, the storyline of Beautiful Dreamer is not all that strong. I just see a lot more rewatch and entertainment value in this film compared to the others. I'm so fucking tired. Only one left. This movie gets an 8 out of 10. Highly Recommend. My eyes burn.
Movies: 3 < 1 < 4 < 2 < 5
Story: 7/10
Art: 7/10
Sound: 6/10
Character: 7/10
Enjoyment: 9/10
Overall: 8/10
Reviewer’s Rating: 8
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Jul 17, 2021
What the hell is happening in this film!? I'm starting to find an overall theme with these last couple of films where "Reality is being altered and Lum may or may not have anything to do with it." These storylines are starting to become more mundane. However, this is one of the better Urusei Yatsura movies I've seen so far. It's so close to being on the same level as Beautiful Dreamer, I just wish the story was a little more coherent and less esoteric in it's direction. Things just happen and aren't explained very well. Spoilers incoming.
Megane and the rest of the gang are
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filming a movie called, "Legend of the Oni Princess." A pretty simple start, so far. Ataru, as usual, is causing issues with the recording of the film and Lum plays the Oni Princess. There's a specific scene where Ataru is meant to cut off this massive sakura tree called, Tarouzakura, a three hundred year old tree. This is the point of no return, because after Ataru cuts down the tree, it melts into this green, disgusting looking goo, and that's what causes the events of the film to play out. Slowly, but surely, Lum's powers begin to weaken. The first instance of this was the classroom scene where Ataru was being the typical pervert he is, and Lum shocks him. However, her electricity has no effect on him and he throws her electricity right back at her. It's almost like he's rubber and she's glue, everything she does bounces back and sticks onto you, I mean her. Even her flying ability is lacking, not being able to go as fast as she once did. Ataru takes advantage of this, of course.
And it's not just her powers, her presence is dwindling, as well. It's almost like a metaphor for how Lum's presence in the anime community as the ultimate waifu is rapidly deteriorating with time. People are forgetting about Lum OH NOOOOO! She's starting to leave people's minds and fade out of photographs. Mendo is the first to realize this, but Ataru doesn't care all that much. Now, this is the point in the film where it completely lost me. Well, kinda. Two-thirds of the way in, the narrative takes a jarring shift and becomes something entirely different. Mendo is this ultimate badass character who is beating the shit out of people and having mass weddings. So I hate him even more now. Remember that episode of Gurren Lagann where the characters were thrown into alternate universes by the anti-spiral? Yeah, the exact same thing happens here. Time and space being manipulated once again isn't anything new for this movie series, but I think it's pulled off well here. I just wish the movie did a better job at explaining what was going on instead of changing the story out of nowhere.
It soon becomes an all out battle between reality vs. the alternative realities, I think. It's then revealed that the town of Tomobiki is on the verge of collapse, all because of the film Megane and the gang filmed earlier in the movie. The Oni Princess was real the whole time, I think. It was the tree that Ataru cut down that was bleeding the green juice, I think. That's why reality was falling apart and combining with other universes, I think. After the big battle, which was very well animated, Lum awakens from her....trance and everything is resolved. The ending was very wholesome and sweet. This was an odd one. I definitely like it more than movies 1 & 3. Once again, the visual presentation in this film was stunning to look at. The soundtrack was fine, I guess. None of the songs sound all that distinctive in this film, which is sad. It was a good experience; not quite on the same level as movie 2, but that's okay. This movie gets a 7 out of 10.
Movies: 3 < 1 < 4 < 2
Story: 7/10
Art: 8/10
Sound: 6/10
Character: 6/10
Enjoyment: 7/10
Overall: 7/10
Reviewer’s Rating: 7
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Jul 16, 2021
I'm watching these movies and writing these reviews back to back and it's starting to wear me down. In terms of plot, this is definitely the weakest of the three movies I've seen so far. It doesn't have much going for it, and I would say that the first film is better than this one, but only slightly. Minor spoilers in this review. In 1967, a wicked witch who was connected to Lum's family wasn't invited to see Lum's birth. This, for some reason, makes her furious. So in return, the witch creates a curse on Lum that will always cause her misfortune in love.
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She will never find happiness with her true love. The curse was placed into an orb, and many centuries later, it was discovered by a young boy. The specific year was 2267, just in case you were curious.
Come to present day, present time 1985. The town of Tomobiki creates a new amusement park called "Tomobiki Marchenland." Lum thinks it would be an excellent idea to bring her piece of human garbage darling, Ataru Moroboshi, along for a date. Lum is such a sweetheart. Everyone else in Ataru and Lum's class come along as well even though none of the supporting characters have no significance to the overall plot whatsoever. Enter the new antagonists, Ruu and his servant Oshima. Two characters who both have weak and strange character motivations that are explained later in the film. Things do take a turn for the worse when Ataru volunteers for a magic trick and is transformed into a pink hippo. It's later explained why this happens, but the entire conflict between Ruu and the main characters is pretty lame and underwhelming. The stakes are not that high in this film.
I would compare Ruu to Mujaki, the antagonist of the previous film, except Ruu is not as powerful and not as well written. They do have similar abilities of altering time and space, but Ruu's powers don't mess with your mind as much. The only thing in this film that I believe is worth mentioning is the chase scene between Lum and Ruu. They go all over the town of Tomobiki. They go inside of a Fun House and the mirrors surrounding them look great. You see the both of them in so many different angles and positions. They end up flying downtown and the scene was beautifully drawn and animated. That's the only thing noteworthy about this film. It's a pretty generic film and after watching Beautiful Dreamer, it was just disappointing and not entertaining. I can't be too harsh, because it's Urusei Yatsura, so if you love the series enough you're going to watch this film, regardless. I'll admit, Hideaki Anno did a superb job animating some of sequences, good job on his part. The music is good. "Born to be Free" is probably my favorite song in the soundtrack. The other songs are pretty mediocre. This movie gets a 6 out of 10. I would put it below the first film, but the difference in quality is not that big.
Movies: 3 < 1 < 2
Story: 4/10
Art: 6/10
Sound: 6/10
Character: 6/10
Enjoyment: 5/10
Overall: 6/10
Reviewer’s Rating: 6
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Jul 16, 2021
Ah yes, the only Urusei Yatsura movie people actually give a shit about. Let's talk about it. So, here's a funny joke, I drew a complete blank when writing this review. Talking about this film is going to be difficult for me, and I'm not going to summarize the film like I did for the previous one. I will talk about the premise of the film, however. Tomobiki high school is starting up a cultural festival and the first thing I immediately noticed was that quality of this film was much higher than the previous one. Within the first five minutes of the film, it's
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already pretty hectic with students, props, entertainers, and all kinds of shit running around. The main cast of characters are also preparing by making...what I first thought was a Nazi themed restaurant, but I'm not entirely sure. The Swastika was originally called a "Manji" in buddhist culture. It symbolized peace and prosperity, but after looking at the theme of the restaurant, I was pretty confused.
Grade A asshole, Ataru Moroboshi, and Mendo Shutaro are tasked with bring back food for the rest of the gang, because they plan to stay the night at school to finish up the restaurant. This is where I'll stop describing the film, because shit starts to get unnerving and puzzling for the gang. I definitely see the appeal of this film and why people can't shut the fuck about it. The actual plot of the film is not that good, but I can give you a few reasons why you should watch it through a pros and cons list. Yayyyy!
Pros:
• THE VISUALS. Incredible looking, detailed backgrounds, animation, and just general art design.
• Bizarre Cinematography (The good kind)
Beautiful Dreamer is a beautiful film. Firstly, this movie is the master of darkness. With the digital age of animation, I believe that newer anime have trouble creating true darkness that cel animation can do so easily. Digital anime is too bright and colorful; it has this shiny glow to it. Meanwhile, older anime has this more darker and analog feel to it, and many shows and movies of this era can pull off the darkness in a way digital anime can't. Not trying to disregard digital anime, there's pro's and con's for both styles of animation, it's just that this film in particular is in a completely different solar system when it comes to visual presentation. The scene where Ataru and Mendo are going out to get food downtown in the middle of the night, the background looks like an abyss. The whole scene itself is pretty creepy.
This movie was made to mess with your mind. Strange camera angles and shots of landscapes that look gorgeous, yet also ominous. This movie is a MUST-WATCH for the visuals alone. Like how, and without going into spoilers, the wind chime scene with Shinobu, or the multiple Atarus in the school, or the giant statues of the characters. It's almost like a fever dream at certain points. This does lead into a problem that I have with the film.
Con:
• The Plot.
The concept behind this film and the dream ideas are very fascinating, but the story is not much to write home about. Really, the only reason you would watch this film is for the visuals/mind-fuck scenes and nothing else. The reason for what's going on and the reason for the conflict is not particularly interesting. The pacing is okay. I really like it when an anime takes it's time and let's you process what's going on instead of introducing one thing after another without anytime to breathe *cough* *cough* Crusher Joe *cough* *cough*. I will say, the final stretch of this film where Ataru is stuck in the dream segments goes on for a bit too long. It's the last twenty minutes of the film and it should be cut down a bit, in my opinion. Mujaki's motivation is weird, but I think he's cool. Highly recommend this film. 8 out of 10.
Movies: 1 < 2
Story: 6/10
Art: 10/10
Sound: 8/10
Characters: 6/10
Enjoyment: 7/10
Overall: 8/10
Reviewer’s Rating: 8
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Jul 15, 2021
I made the horrible decision to watch and review all of the Urusei Yatsura movies. Hopefully these next reviews that I write don't become dull and monotonous. Lord give me strength. I'm going to spoil this movie, by the way. Eleven years prior, a young boy and a young girl meet each other in a playground and play a game of tag with each other. Everything is fine until the young boy steps on the young girl's shadow. The young girl tells the boy that on her home planet, if a boy steps on a girl's shadow then the two must marry someday. The young
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boy agrees to marry the girl someday, not even aware of the concept of marriage. The girl leaves and they never meet again, until eleven years later in present day, present time ha ha ha! The young boy's name was Ataru Moroboshi and grew up to be quite the unpleasant person. I've watched a large chunk of Urusei Yatsura up until this point, and I can safely say with absolute confidence that I really hate Ataru. Without going into too much detail, because let's be real, if you're reading this review you've seen or at least watched some of Urusei Yatsura, Ataru has the tendency to cheat on Lum. He's a complete scumbag because he cheats on her right in her face, begs for forgiveness after realizing how much he misses her, they make up, and then a week later he's cheating on her again. The dude is oblivious of how lucky he really is and takes advantage of Lum's kindness. Which leads to the plot of this film.
Anyone with a connection to Ataru in any way is given a letter of invitation to Ataru and Elle's wedding. The young girl that Ataru played with all those years ago, her name is Elle, and she is the queen of her own planet. Everyone almost instantly finds out about the wedding, including Lum, and no one is happy about it. Except for Ataru. He's ecstatic for the wedding; which is concerning because he has no memory of the promise he made eleven years prior. When meeting with the aliens who work for Elle, Ataru easily accepts his fate to marry Elle while knowing jack diddly shit about her. Lum is understandably pissed about the whole situation, but quickly falls into a depression. The first-third of this film is pretty slow with not much going on. That is until Lum meets Benten, an old friend who convinces Lum to fight and take back Ataru. They even planned a wedding for Ataru and Lum inviting most of the cast from the show. Well, not invite, more like forcefully brought along.
The midsection of the film starts to pick up by having a long, intense action scene where spies working for Elle kidnap Ataru. There's a brief scene of Ataru talking shit about Lum and how she's annoying and persistent all the time, and everyone hears it. What an absolute fuckface. Lum can be annoying at times, but she always means well and has the best intentions. Pretty sad how she fell in love with Fuckface Mcgee and he doesn't care half the time. There's a scene where Lum is chasing down the spy to rescue Ataru and she didn't realize that the ship she was using was going to explode. When it does, Ataru sees this and he's immediately concerned. I appreciate this scene because the writing in the series loves to show how terrible of a person Ataru is, but this scene in particular proves that he isn't heartless. I like that. Lum is unharmed and it leads to a sweet yet somber song about Ataru and Lum's relationship. It was really beautiful and it was a touching moment. And now, we finally meet Elle and honestly, she's not as cute as I thought she would be. She mistook Mendo, the rich asshole character, as Ataru and that got a laugh out of me. Elle portrays herself to be a sweet, prim and proper queen. She keeps her Moet et Chandon in her pretty cabinet. "Let them eat cake," she says, just like Marie Antoinette. She seems pleasant, but there's a twist. Mendo and Elle split off alone because Elle finds Mendo more attractive than Ataru. She then reveals to Mendo that she has a harem of one hundred thousand handsome men. She keeps them all in a large freezer so she can have an eternal harem. This may come off as nitpicky, but this brings up an issue. If she was a young girl only eleven years ago, how did she have the time to manipulate and capture one hundred thousand men. That's physically impossible. She would have to manipulate and capture nine thousand ninety one men a year. And yes, I did the math.
9,091 × 11 = 100,001
I mean, I'm a tad bit off, but whatever. The rest of the gang overhear this information and are quickly thrown into prison. From this point forward the movie becomes a "We have to stop the wedding" story, and right before Ataru and Elle are officially married, Lum interrupts the wedding and somehow the harem of one hundred thousand men are released. Shit gets wack after this point. The last twenty minutes of the film is insane and it definitely reminds you of an Urusei Yatsura episode, which is something I'll get into later.
The coolest scene in this entire film was also the shortest. The warp scene! Lum and Benten invade the wedding and try to leave by warping back to Earth. It's the only scene I found pretty to look at. Great animation, vivid and bright color choices, and the background looks like an acid trip. In fact, the whole sequence looks like an acid trip. The characters are thrown eleven years in the past do to the warp machine not functioning properly. That makes no sense, but whatever. They soon realize that Ataru never stepped on Elle's shadow and fibbed about the whole thing. What a massive fibber. I'm not entirely sure why, but Elle is devastated to see the truth. At the very end of the film, the characters make their way back to planet Elle and they're banished forever. When they make it back to Earth, a new wedding is prepared for Ataru and Lum, and of course, Ataru rejects it. That's how the film ends.
This was an okay film. My biggest complaint with it is that it felt like a twenty minute episode of the show stretched out to be a one hundred minute feature length film. The production quality of the movie doesn't look any better than the actual show. Maybe just slightly higher. The background art looks better and it's more detailed, other than that, it looks like an episode of the show. Most of the soundtrack is just music from the show, with the exception of a few new emotional tracks that sound great. The animation, like I said, is just like the show. Things do get a bit crazy near the end, especially with that mob of handsome men. I like this movie, but not all that much. If you like Urusei Yatsura, then just watch it. When I say it's just like an episode of the show, it really is just that, exactly. It's nothing all that special and the stakes are not that high, because stuff like this happens all the time in the show. Rumiko Takahashi's writing is peculiar. I'll give this film a 6 out of 10.
Story: 6/10
Art: 6/10
Sound: 8/10
Characters: 6/10
Enjoyment: 5/10
Overall: 6/10
Reviewer’s Rating: 6
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