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"It's sad how little you mean to the person who means the world to you."

I never knew what true pain was until I experienced unrequited love. According to a study, the feeling of rejection that comes with unrequited love is identical to what your body feels when you are in pain. It is true. It is like you are being sliced apart with a knife, you slowly disappear from yourself until you can only see your person even with your eyes closed.

The first time I watched this anime I wasn't in love with anybody, and I still felt the unbearable sadness of it. Now that ... I rewatched it years later knowing how it feels, I don't feel like it is overly dramatic as I thought the first time. You truly do feel like the main characters if not worse, I'm sure the writer had experienced unrequited love to be able to write something as accurate as this story.

My love was (though I still love him) my one and only love, for an incredible amount of time.

The first time I met him was when we were both children. He is chinese and has a restaurant near my house where he helps his family with the activity. When he was a little kid, he was already taking orders as a waiter , cleaning and answering the phone for delivery. I remember being mesmerized by that. I thought to myself: "He is so cool and responsible to be able to do that at such a young age! He must be way more mature than me and other little kids my age"

I never saw something so incredibly beautiful in my entire life. Every time his mother wanted to do something on his own he would do it himself saying to her something in chinese, maybe something like: "Please rest let me do it myself" And every move he made would make his hair softly swing to the side, especially when he ran from table to table. It was so adorable to me I honestly wanted to hug him on the spot, but what made me fall in love with him was another reason. Since he was so young and fragile still, his arms used to tremble when he took dishes to the costumers' seats, mine was almost falling but I immediately stood up to help him put it on my table. He said to me: "You shouldn't help me you are a client" so I said to him: "Little kids should always help each other's out, besides if I didn't it would have fallen on the floor" He laughed and showed the cutest smile ever and then ran away in the kitchen (with his hair adorably flying all the way of course)

I cannot describe what I was feeling when he smiled at me. I felt so overwhelmed but not in a bad way. I felt like joy was pouring inside of me all of a sudden and my heart was beating so fast, I cannot describe it really. He kept looking at me when he was serving and when he was in the kitchen, so I would smile to him and protected him from all the unkind comments of some racist idiots, since the restaurant opened for a relatively short amount of time. He was way too shy and blushed often whenever we locked eyes, so I asked her mom for his name instead. I won't say it for privacy reasons, but when she told me I asked her: "Please prevent him to be in a relationship with any other girl that isn't me" I genuinely thought at the time that she would have kept her word because she said with a serious face "You seem like a good girl, I saw how you protected him earlier. Ok he won't date anyone"

I asked her that because I knew that since we were both children, nothing serious could have happened between us. It must sound quite weird and creepy but I was already fantasizing about marrying him in China, and I also knew at the time that I would have to live in Brazil for some years (I encountered him in Italy)

Tons of clients were comparing the restaurant food to other chinese restaurants in the area saying it wasn't that good, so I shouted angrily (lmao how cringe) "Believe me, this restaurant one day will be the most popular chinese restaurant in the area because true quality always come with hard work, effort and always coming with better ideas" The restaurant eventually did.

I hoped for a long time that I could be together with this little kid even in my time in Brazil, but after some time I thought "It is impossible that he remembers me from that day only" So I tried to date someone but it lasted only 3 months. It wasn't that bad, but I realized that he wasn't the person I thought he was and somewhere, deep in my heart, I was still thinking about that little chinese dude with the adorable smile that when I defended him from some idiots said "I never encountered someone as amazing and kind as you"

So I went back to that restaurant when I was 17. It was full of people, just as I thought and I ordered the same dish. He was there, he put the dish on the table and this time his arms didn't even flinch, he was even bringing it with just one hand. He got older.

God, how handsome he was. Here I was, mesmerized again, all over heels, with my feelings all over the place. I became friends with is little brother first, he (my unrequited love) is undeniably still a very shy and introverted person, but as I thought nobody there remembered me. He was looking at me a lot though so I thought to myself: I "I can win him over with my looks" I was feeling everything so intensely at the time and I saw him being so extremely busy, that I honestly felt like It was a good choice (spoiler: It wasn't)

I tried to give him my number along with a present in the new years' eve, thinking it would be the best choice to make him write to me according to his schedule and also to make him feel less embarassed with his family. He never wrote to me and never talked to me about it until now that I'm 20 years old. I was in a roller coaster towards all these years trying to interpret all his mixed signals, exchanged looks, him saying he finds me "interesting" and asking his little brother to not say embarassing things about him to me. Who knows maybe he only finds me pretty. But not pretty enough.

The moment I knew I was being rejected all this time (because attraction differs from love and admiration) was not even from him, but from his little brother. One day he asked me in the restaurant's bathroom: "Are you perhaps in love with Andrea?"

I broke down. I cried because from that reaction, I understood that him, his little brother, had no clue about the phone number and he did not even tell me: "I noticed him looking at you often" or "He told me he finds you hot". He didn't say any of that.
I didn't even had to "properly confess" to him or hearing it directly from him. I already knew in a sense, that I was nothing to him. Just like love can be felt and understood without saying "I love you", rejection can also be felt and understood without words, just slowly destroying all your being, painfully.

I remember feeling so stupid. One time when he was sleeping on a table (while snooring on top of that) I put my jacket around his shoulders. One day when they arrived at the restaurant late because they went to the hospital that was far from the city, I remember calling my father and begging him to order a pizza instead of ordering there even though I was having skin and image issues in that period. I didn't care, I didn't want him to work in that moment.

I love him so fucking much

His little brother told me though "He never dated anyone until this day, he isn't interested in that type of thing". Well, at least that I mean. At least, his mother in a way kept her word.

I honestly would not have reacted as the characters did, because to me this person is the hottest person alive and nobody could replace him. I rejected so many people, never reciprocated flirts or looks fom other people. It is true, nothing is more disgusting than the affection or interest from someone you are completely disinterested in. I wonder if he found me disgusting all this time, or maybe I built his ego a little bit? I don't care if I did though, since I care so much about him. He should think highly about himself indeed.

At least, he doesn't hate me. I don't know if he will ever change idea or at least talk to me about it. In my heart, I hope not to both things. I don't know why, I love him so much but, I don't feel like having him in my heart anymore. I don't want to date him. It is too late.

Even though I don't, the feeling I get thinking about the fact that I will never kiss him, caress his hair, hold his hands, comfort him when he cries, cook for him, go on a date with him, share all the songs that makes me remember of him. And imagine him or me with another person, my heart shatters. I don't want that. I want him and only him.

Just like Hanabi says, there is nobody in my opinion that can be paragonated to him. Nobody who is better than him.

I hope that at least he will remember of the pathetic me that once was so crazy in love with him. I know he will be engraved in my heart and in my brain forever.

This anime tries to give hope in a way though. Who knows. Is there hope for me? I too hope that one day I can sigh and look at that sky, touching it with my fingers and feeling satisfied.

It hurts, I love him so much it is scary.

Good luck for all the heartbroken buddies :) please take care of yourselves, Chinese poetry often depicts unrequited love as the most romantic, pure, unselfish and noble type of love above all. Your love was not useless or ridiculous. Your love was the proof of you being the most sweet type of heart. A love that isn't reciprocated does not ask for much, that is why unrequited love is true love.

Our love was true and beautiful.

My disappointment is immeasurable an my day is ruined

(Team RinHaru) KYOTOANIMATION IMMA NEVER FORGIVE YA

Semi-jokes aside let's start by saying that I've waited years and have been a fan for years of this series and what I've got?

Makoto that seemingly has a crush on Haruka with no official saying about this even though it is obvious with Haruka seeming to not give a damn about him ( at least one good news for god's sake since HELL NO RINHARU FOR LIFE) and second of all ABSOLUTE CONFUSION.

WHY DOES IT END WITH HARUKA GETTING A BREAK THEN STARTING AGAIN AND THEN THAT'S IT I ... HAVE TO KNOW WHO WINS WHAT, IN WHICH WAY AND THE FUTURE AFTER.

And third and least, if Haruka and Rin aren't together, WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THE TENSION IN THE AIR TOWARDS THE ENDING WHEN THEY DISCOVER THEY ARE BOTH IN HUNGARY LIKE THEY BOTH FINISHED MILITARY SERVICE AND DIDN'T SEE EACH OTHER FOR YEARS LIKE(?) IN WHICH DIMENSION IS POSSIBLY POSSIBLE THAT THEY DO NOT LOVE EACH OTHER?

Bruh I don't care if people say I'm silly and I'm not mature enough to appreciate the ending and what THE STORY bEsIdE thE fAnSErVIcE wAnTS tO cOnvEy I'm totally unsatisfied like my ice cream just fell from my hand on the floor, with more questions than EVER and I still don't know who the hell is that woman with the luggage at the end of the story.

ALSO I WANT MY BABIES NAGISA, REI, MOMOTAROU AND NITORI TO SLAY TOO COME ON WHY AREN'T THEY PRO AS WELL

Thank god they made Albert with a good english accent at least ahaahshsh

SAID THAT 4 STARS BRO 4, AND I'M NOT SORRY AT ALL. If Yuri On Ice movie possibly endend up being this awful as well, then maybe it is good that it still hasn't come out-

I'M DISAPPOINTED Y'ALL

Sorry I know that readers aren't interested in How I fEeL but I honestly don't care I needed to externalize my frustration and so I did. If someone doesn't like my review(s) or agrees with me either way is fine for me I don't really care and I'm sure most people also write reviews for themselves due to boredom, passion towards the anime/manga and other reasons I think but rarely for others come on let's be honest

Said that thanks for reading what I feel I guess and as always have fun on mal and good luck in your life in general

"In my life, I always have been the second choice.
For everyone."

(WARNING, THIS REVIEWS CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS)

"Koi No Tsuki" (恋のツキ) is a 2015 josei/drama romance manga written and drawn by Akira Nitta
The story also have a 2018 netflix adaptation tv series that includes 12 episodes of approximately 20 minutes each.

The story talks about a woman called Taira Wako that has recently turned 31 years old (when a woman reach this age in Japan, usually if they are still single and not married yet, they are heavily looked down upon and pressured by society, especially by close minded or traditional japanese families who want their daugther to ... settle down and have kids, because otherwise no one would want to marry them when they will loose their beauty. This worsen up especially if the woman doesn't have a good job, like she is irrensponsible and somewhat an outcast)

Wako-san, indeed has a quite humble job that however she really loves: working part time in a cinema. She in fact, always had a passion for movies. This passion of hers however, doesn't help her be financially stable and neither be happy with her current relationship with her boyfriend Fu,. Even though they love each other, they started losing passion and having a difficult time living together with respect, especially Fu who at least in Wako's eyes, seems everyday more and more cold and rude towards Wako, hurting her feelings frequently with her trying to ignore it off and be patient.

This situation though, will not get any better,making her everyday unhappier.

One day However, when she is working at the cinema,both a blessing and a curse takes place for her:

Her favourite movie director, called Kagemitsu Okihara, has recently released a movie with his company, which the cinema will project in the halls. That's when Yumeaki, a 15 years old boy with the same passion both for movies and Okihara will show up, completely changing her life, Surprsingly, for the better!

This story in my opinion, is very very important.

First of all, I must say that all the characters are portrayed in an absolultely amazing and detailed way succeeding at making all of them unlikeable, with no flaws in their start and development. I love how each one selfishness is portraited. What I mean by that? Let me explain

Through my eyes, there are a lot of selfishness "Types"

The three most prominent ones, are the selfish type of person that just does their own thing caring about their happiness mostly hurting themselves and not others, and the selfish people projecting thier selfishness on others either by pressure of doing, or using people with their selfishness to be happy

For example, Yumeaki could be the first type with own selfishness, Wako the last one, Wako's parents,friends, and even Fu are the selfish projectors and pressure, could even just be a metaphor of society overall.

Though I profoundly respect and support all types of relationships if born by love and mutual respect reasons, I don't think it was the case for Wako And Yumeaki, at least not how and why it started, with Wako lying and hurting both Fu and Yumeaki, and this in my opinion , is quite unforgivable.

The fact that Yumeaki has forgiven her is truly adorable and I think that his feelings for her (At least for the most part) were way more pure and sincere than Wako, who just wanted an escape for her loneliness and frustration

However in the end, it happens what you exactly would expect from a toxic relationship. At the start, Wako is all happy and exicted, of having such a fresh and new relationship, especially with such a young boy that made her feel special and young again.

However at the end shows that Yumeaki is indeed just a kid: an insecure kid full of naiveness and the dream of being a movie director, who hates school and hates being bullied because of his relationship with Wako and wishes to drop out and live with her, even mantain her, because of his jealousy of her constantly meeting growns up men afraid of her cheating on him again, which i quite fair, however it becomes too obsessive and lead her to have serious problems and gossips at her work place.

Who knows, maybe even him in his heart, felt quite "edgy" and cool of being in a relationship with a way more mature woman, or just was happy that an adult treated him , a minor, with respect and like an adult, when he was in fact, just a kid that wished to have more control in his life but couldn't, he couldn't even control an older man to steal Wako away from him.

At the end, is Wako that truly loves ,cherish, and care for Yumeaki, just like a mother for certain aspects, and wishes him to be way happier, not with and older woman who didn't know what she wanted as well, and that has previously hurted his feelings and put him in trouble. He didn't want to ruin him even more.For the first time, she put his happiness above her own.

She finally behaved like any responsible adult (For the good and right reasons though) would.

It is quite sad, but at the end even after all that pain, all of them have found their own true happinesses, dictated by no one, no circumstance, no pain, no decisions made by the heat or suffering of the moment. They have grown, and they have found themseleves and their purpouse.

I think that it shows, along with this amazing way of criticizing society and in particular Japanese one, is a great example of how vulnerable we all can be and what happens when somebody bases their happiness and life choices over society/somebody else expectations or use someone to project that part of them that makes them feel unsatisfated with their lives, people especially, but it also can be another thing.Or worse, an habit, like gambling for example.

Nobody can make yourself happy if not yourself.

This story truly surprised me and satisfied me in almost all aspects. If I must sapeak the truth, it could easily be trash. If it wasn't portraited in such an amazing and deep way just like for example "Kuzu No Honkai" does, I'm sure I would have hated such a story.

Because even in real life, I would find absolutely disgusting people that would choose relationships only for "Codependency" reasons, or even worse, use them as a "coping-mechanisms", like, why involve people in your trash and cringe? I'm sorry, I may sound rude, but to me it is absolutely ridiculous, embarassing, disgusting and also such a waste of time. I'm glad it the end everything settled.

I'll say very little about the series, but I must say that the actor that played Yumeaki is hot as hell I'm sorry, and also the actors did an amazing job too with their acting, and overall, the series direction, atmosphere and everything, the scenes too, were all amazing and you can truly notice the cure and the hard work behind.

Said that, lastly I wanna say that it isn't a story for everyone, but at least I was satisfied with the story until the very end.

Thanks as always for reading my review and have a good time on mal, I hope I was able to convince someone to read or watch the story.

Byeeee :3

"Don't you feel frustrated by all the unfair and cruel things adults do and say?"

(WARNING: THIS MANGA MENTIONS TOPICS LIKE CHILD ABUSE, PEDOPHILIA, DEPRESSION AND OTHER MENTAL ISSUES. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH ANY OF THOSE TOPICS.)

Kodomo No Jikan is a story written and illustrated by the mangaka Kaworu Watashiya.

The manga was serialized between May 2005 and April 2013 in Futabasha's "Comic High!" magazine and it has 93 chapters and 13 volumes along with extra chapters and side stories. The story also has 2 anime adaptations that put together have 15 episodes (12+3 of the second season) along with 3 OVAs and ... one recap episode of the first series.

The story is very controversial especially from person to person(Similar to Lolita's book) and it is easy to understand why, since its Lolicon content and other quite disturbing subjects it portraits.

It starts with the young adult Aoki Daisuke, who finally has found his first job in a elementary school as a teacher, mainly of Japanese Grammar and Literature.

He will not expect however, his encounter with three little girls: Rin Kokonoe, Mimi Usa, and Kagami Kuro.

Especially Kokonoe, will have a strong impression of him right from the start, having what you could describe as "Love at first sight" feeling, and will try in all possible (and often uncomfortable, illegal and funny ways) to seduce him and make he see her as a woman (even if she is indeed still a child)

However, she is a child, only in age and body. With the story progressing, Aoki sensei will discover that all three of them, have very dark surroundings and very complex mind, with mature type of thinking.

Especially Rin Kokonoe, has a very dark secret.

Now, let's try to get to know this story better, starting on reflecting a bit about the lack of morality that many people find in it and why because of that, it is such a huge turn off for many.

First thing first, I can't deny that this review will have a lot of my personal thinking, but I'm sure it conveys about many objective facts socially speaking.

I absolutely love this story. Like, I have a huge passion for it, for everything it represents. Because Kodomo No Jikan, it's not just a softcore hentai and all comedy and stuff, to please the male audience.

Even the title, is amazingly great. The story also talks about the tragic childhood of other adults. The " Child's time" (The literal translation of the manga's title) it's not just children's time. It's about all of us. We all were kids, we all were one time. This also tho show, how precious our childhood is and also the effects it has on adults' type of thinking.

Most people would find it cute/sexy (not my case) or the reading of it pretty unsetting and disturbing.

However, I think that most of the plot, along with trying to lower our standards of "fake cleanliness" (This is undeniable) is to criticize such topics

Sounds weird right? Even though some of the anime tries to show its real message a bit, it almost seems like it's just a failed attempt to make it seem more interesting and deep than it actually is, to try to conceal and justify its lolicon content.

However it's not quite like this. It is almost the opposite in reality.

It could be true, it could be the first impression it gives off.

But it's not just that. This is incredibly fascinating as well, it almost seems like the author predicted the whole thing just like if all this was her wish, even if it probably was just a coincidence or accident.


People just judge by first impressions.

I can assure however, that in the manga especially, all these "little impressions and hints" that almost seems fake or excessively creepy for the poor seriousness this story has, are all explained and portraited with care. With its comedy, I'm sure it can be easily seens as dark humour.

This also gives you many think to reflect about. Adults prefer to ignore the possibility that kids may have such mature way of thinking and behaving, especially in the sexual manner.

However, do you know why many of us are "mature"?

From the magnificent adults of course.

From their world and education, even if they try so hard to keep us away from it, or not or even just pretending to, so that they can put their heads minds on ease.

Nobody wants trouble I guess.

In this story, there is so much criticism made on domestic violence, emotional abuse, rape and pedophilia, chikan, gender inequality, over-sexualization not of just young girls but also women in general.

Don't forget that this manga, was written by a woman, not a man. I really doubt that not female gaze can be seen here.

"Burusera" shops were also mentioned.

Burusera shops used to be shops in Japan, that selled female students' clothes, primarily underwear and socks of course, I mean.

Sometimes they weren't even washed, to satisfy the costumers and buyers' feticisms. Girls would gain money from it if they needed, even a lot amount of it.

Sometimes along with the clothes, they would also show pictures of their bodies and/ or faces. I guess, to double the customers's satisfaction?

Theoretically speaking, those stores were banned in 2004, but who knows since prostitution is legal in Japan, and who knows what more happens in Kabukicho.
Sexual business sells a lot.

That said, I don't think people with "Perfect Morality" exists.

I don't even think morality exists in the first place.

Of course this doesn't make this type of thing normal at all, but since when we are so concerned of what is normal and what's not?

Our thought-process works like this:

It happens=it doesn't change=Normal

Or not, let me explain even better:

It happens=Not Normal=doesn't change with time or small actions /most people in power rule the world and they DO NOT have good intentions and neither keep the humanity's well being at heart= paassively accept it and conforms to it, either completely or either living suffering from it but trying to not think about it since you can't change a thing.

しょうがない (Shouganai) I guess?

Even so, people do not realize this is what makes world and life so hard and unfair for everyone . This all is deteriorating us, and our joy and love for life.

Furthermore, no true happiness neither freedom can be found in such a controlling envinronment.

Speaking with my experience, I don't think I ever had the possibility to be careefree or childish.

Since I was a kid. I could perfectly see the adults' wrong doing, and I often ended up in trouble, especially with them of course, since I tried many times to rebel against them.

I couldn't help it, for me, it wasn't enough to tell me I shouldn't do or say something because "It must be done like this", "It's the law", it's that and this.

"You should follow what adults say".

I don't care about that. Why?

I want to know why.

Why is my way of thinking and behaving wrong? Why are you superior or smarter than me only because you are older? Why should I follow what you say?

I couldn't accept it without any reason to, especially if those things weren't true.

I didn't want to basically erase my existence.

Existence isn't just your body. We have muscles and a brain for a reason I wanna hope.

At least this thing, I want it to have a reason and an answer, otherwise my god.

I wonder if this is the main reason I'm not used to be happy.

But there is nothing worse than any type of fake happiness, like what kind of horror movie scenario is that?

Are you seriously telling me, that in order to be happy" (or not even be happy at this point, maybe along with morality no true happiness exists either) but in order to not "suffer that much", I should accept all this wrong I see wherever I turn my head too?

This is sick. I don't like this, I can't help it.

I think this is why I was able to appreciate Kodomo No Jikan so much. I think it is a perfectly accurate rappresentation of what I had to go through while I was growing up. A perfect rappresentaion of children not bein heard or taken seriously in basically all aspects of their growth. The objectifications of females too.

Before being children, they are human beings with wishes, fears and feelings.

Also, I don't think that true love has anything to do with age but I guess this is another topic and honestly I prefer to not brag too much about it, especially because I still don't know what love is myself. But in the end, at least Aoki sensei wasn't feeling only sexual attraction towards Kokonoe, he also respected her persona and whom she truly was.

He even said: "She is so much stronger than what she seems even if she is so young and small.She is more mature even than me, I wish I had taken her seriously much sooner than I did."

You heard it right, he said "taking it seriously". In a responsible way.

I was surprised too trust me, I thought (of course by just the first impression) he was just a perverted, sick and disgusting virgin teacher too, to make a Kagami's perfect imitation.

At this point, small changes may be important too.

Of course, I can't help but hope for bigger changes, also because I would like tolive in that environment, where true happiness, freedom and individuality exists.

Not much has changed since some centuries ago and even not in all countries (incredibly disappointing and upsetting I should say) but still, small changes came.

Even from my experience, I noticed that most changes, comes from time.

I wanna hope that in the next centuries, finally the world open its eyes.


I wanna remain alive until that day.

Even just to see a small part of it, really. If I even was capable to do a contribution for it to happen, It would truly be an honour for me.

Most of my reviews are not analyzing the work itself, but what it means to me and what was the message it was able to convey my love for the manga ( which is my favourite) and by that also express the beauty it has.

Maybe the next time, aside from talking about my feelings, I should try re-watching or re-reaing the work first and take notes while doing so.

I would be really happy if my review made you feel something.

Thanks for reading it and have a great time on mal along with an exciting summer vacation! <3

"Why don't we look for it together? The path where our feelings can be kept dearest to us:"

(WARNING: This is mainly a story about an incestuous relationship, and it spoils the ENDING. If repulsed or not wanting to ruin the watching, please don't read this review)

Yosuga No Sora's story initially begins with its Visual Novel, produced by CUFFS on December 5 of 2008. The eroge will then be adapted in one short manga and an anime of 12 episodes.

The story begins with the main characters Sora And Haruka Kasugano talking in a train. The two twins are brother and sister who unfortunately have tragically lost ... both their parents in a car accident.

To try starting a new life and forget their traumatic experience, the two will go living in their grandparents' countryside, in a house just for them two alone.

During their story however, other characters will appear. And unfortunately, it seems that place that initially radiated so much hope, will eventually bring other pain along with the two of them having to confront their past. However the encounter with their past, will also heal them and give them a realization.


I think this is the best show that incorporates the feeling of Loneliness, and the misery that comes with it.

Sometimes even when you are not, you remained alone for so much time in your life, and it feels like a hole that can never be filled up.

And eventually, you will arrive to think that loneliness can also mean just one thing: Safety.

If you are alone, there's no risk to be hurt by others. If you are alone, you can feel completely comfortable and you feel no fear, over hurting others or even worse, getting hurt. You just don't want pain anymore.


However too much loneliness, can easily transform from a peaceful comfort, to a slowly-painful sadness. Because people do not live alone, people are everywhere, and you can't hide forever. Especially by loved ones.

I guess everyone has their special reason (along with it being a taboo ecchi with a pleasant animation of course) for liking it.

Mine at least is this because, I can resonate with it emotionally a lot. It's not the story itself, but what it evokes and especially what it symbolizes, in my opinion.

The title itself has the word solitude on it. Since they can't find it anywhere else, the want to find freedom in their loneliness, even if in reality is a sort of cage.

Both Loneliness and the intense desire of freedom, are cages. Because why would you desire freedom, if you don't feel restrained or unhappy with your life?

Sora too, can be seen looking at the sky from the window in the op. She also doesn't know how to obtain her freedom and maybe doesn't even thinks she can reach it, but she feels the absence of it. Who doesn't look at the sky sometimes, wishing to be a bird with no thoughts flying freely? Well, probably not mentally normal ones yeah.

Because what really the characters had to understand, just like Sora And Haruka did in the end, is that they have to deal with their past, but then leave it behind.

Because otherwise, your future and freedom can never be reached.


All the characters mostly lived in the past, because unfortunately, trauma is a big factor in our minds, and past can indeed affect our minds. But not our lives. Life continues and it does not remain stuck on your past.

Unfortunately, I still live within the past. What they did, what they succeeded on doing,takes a lot of time and it not always depends on ourselves or how we interpretate our situation, but the situation itself.

Sometimes we lack the possibility of changing our situation. What's important to know however,is that life isn't the same for everyone but also for ourselves. Even our days most of the time don't go as planned. Maybe we wanted to go out having fun with friends, but then it started raining. Maybe we wanted to so bad to buy something we wanted so much, and a discount happened.

Life isn't just one emotion, one situation. Nothing is one thing alone.

Otherwise, it wouldn't be a life.

I'm still waiting. I'm still waiting for that future I wish so hard for, to become my present.

I know however, that it takes time and also mycontribution. Which I know sucks like, come on I try so hard and so many time passes and I'm still feeling like a piece of trash? But I seriously doubt that when I'll be 88 years old I'll still have thosse feelings.

I don't wanna close my heart. And I wanna proudly say one day:" I'm not lonely anymore, this is me. This the life I wanted".

This anime is like an hug of consolation. When I watch it, it's like returning to my mother's womb. That feeling of protection.

I really admired the courage the two had in the end, going that far to obtain the life they wanted, despite all the repulsion faced at the village, even by people near them. But they left everything behind them, they left the village to live their love story. And if they are happy after something so horrible happened to them, I don't understand why denying it or either feel disgusted by it. I would feel more than happy for them. I don't think that weird or unacceptable happinesses exists in this world, if genuine and not controlled by others' will.

I want to be like that too. I don't want to change one thing of myself in order to conform. For me nothing makes sense if I'm not 100% happy or satisfied.

I wanna fully enjoy my life to the fullest, doing just what I want to do and suffering while being conscious, that life is not just that.

Yosuga No Sora is poor written of course and all, But Im sure the creators felt like that in their lives too, because if you look more deeply even in the ending and opening lyrics, Yosuga No Sora can be unexpectedly deep.

I think I can appreciate it, because I can see way more of how it really is. Just like seeing the other part of the sky.

Sora and Haruka were just like one face of the same coin and both of them had what they needed most. Sora was the sky, the freedom over everything, delicate but strong-willed. And Haruka is the spring, the season of rebirth, of change, of re-affirmation.

Both of them were the new start of everything. They finally understood (well, in their own way) that loneliness with all its ugliness and all, in reality can lead to understand ourselves better, and also lead two lonely hearts to open up and feel the warmth of someone understanding how you feel.

I guess Im way too sentimental but yeah, who knows maybe even something like Boku No Pico can be extremely profound,solemn and profane ahahaahhs.

I really hope I can get my hands on the visual novel one day. Jokes aside, I'll never forget what this story want you to understand, and neither the soundtrack "Kioku" which is my favourite song above all. This anime, really gives hope and comfort.

Never thought that my best review would be of a non-favourites of mine and especially such a WEIRD one, but who knows, writing made me feel like watching it again. And I can't help it. I love controversial stuff, also because life cannot truly be enoyable if you are too moralistic.

Thanks mal users for reading my review, I would feel very honored if you liked it in the end. Hope the best things for you and as always have a great time on mal! <3

"Saying <<I like it>> when I like something... envying someone because they are beautiful...thinking about what I would like to do when I grow up... all these things embarrass me."

(WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS"

"Metamorphose No Engawa" is a pretty recent slice of life manga (2017) written and illustrated by Kaori Tsurutani, with 5 volumes and 52 chapters.

The story is pretty simple but still very peculiar: A 75 years old lady after discovering that her favourite coffee shop has been closed, decides to go the library and she sees a manga sector, when she'll notice a yaoi manga. She will initially think it was a sweet ... love story between two men, without knowing of its sexual content, and in fact the 17 years old cashier, also a fujoshi, will be pretty surprised and offers her a non- seethrough plastic bag. Our clueless old lady will not understand and will tell her she doesn't need it, and she will be pretty surprised when she will see the smutty content at first, however despite her age, she will be very open minded and will eventually ship the main couple,without thinking of them as abnormal or disgusting and will see the sex scenes just like other movies/mangas/anime scenes about two people making love.

She will in fact return to the library to order the next volume of the same yaoi manga and from that moment on, her and the lonely teenager cashier will become best friends and will go out often together and talk about the yaoi manga.

This is honestly the most heart-warming manga I've ever read (along with Fushigi Neko No Kyuu-chan) and a lot of parts made me cry.

I also have a really old lady as one of my best friends, and we often talk and see each other either on the phone or at her home. I never had my grandparents near me, so for me her husband and especially her are just like second grandparents for me. She knows me since I was a kid, and she always was patient with me, making me laugh when I was sad, cooking me cookies or giving me ice cream, we also painted and did manual works together. Now that I have grown and I have much more things to do, I usually don't have much time, but I always make sure to go at her house sometimes, and we would talk for hours about books, movies or our concerns, while her cats climbed into my legs.
I always felt really calm whenever I was with her, even though she is very perky and mischievous despite her age. She is also very open about LGBT community (even though I never telled her about yaoi) and she would always love my talks about animes or my girl crushes.
She never judged me, and when I was depressed she always tried her best to make me feel better and tell me that the abuse I suffered was never my fault. She also said "If I was there I would kill that bastard" making me laugh everytime.She also telled me everyday about how much days lasted 'till summer vacation will start, and she would never forget my birthday.

She is now really old, maybe she is now something like 76-77 years old, and unfortunately, she almost died of diabetes. She couldn't eat anything and she became really skinny, and one day I heard her scream at night and we had to call the ambulance. She is now recovered fortunately, however neither the doctors could believe that she had survived.

This manga hitted me so much not only because I also have a very old lady as a friend I meet pretty regularly, but also because it made me think that maturity and being open minded doesn't depend only because of the age, and friendship is something that can happen (along with love) in all ages, sexuality, everything. Love is such a mysterious feeling, that can happen to you in any shape, changing your life forever.

The teenager of the story is in fact a very aphatetic and lonely girl with no friends, however she will become happier after meeting the old lady, and the old lady will also feel less alone despite being and old lady. She will feel young again.

This is a different manga that despite being very unusual, it doesn't scare you, but it changes and enrich you, both metally and emotionally.

It's such a heart-warming and relaxing manga that will show you both points of view and insecurities/sufferings of the two main characters. Because people of all ages have their problems.

I think this is my favourite manga after Kaze To Ki No Uta, because it really changed me and touched me in the dephts of my soul.

I hope I'll be an open minded lady like the one of this story when I'll get old, and I'll always make sure to not judge anybody and improve myself.

Thank you so much for making me reflect this much.

This is the end, thank you so much for reading my review and have a great time on mal! <3

"You'll never be able to beat me!"

(WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS)

"Project A-ko" it's the first movie of the movie-series called indeed "Project A-ko", directed by Katsuhiko Nishijima and released on 21 June of 1986.

It was initially thought to be an hentai ova series to please the male audience. The studio is in fact a popular 80s hentai studio, also known to have produced the famous "Golden Boy" ova adaptation, considered the first ecchi anime ever made.

However, the studio will decide at the last minute to produce it like a normal anime movie instead of a porn, producing one of the first mecha animes example and ... as well one of the first anime with yuri elements, even though the presence of a lesbian character was made purely for fanservice.

Also, an important thing to remember, is that the teacher of the main characters of the movie-series looks a lot like our beloved 80s idol "Creamy Mami".

The protagonist of the story is, like the name says, "A-ko", who true name is in reality Eiko Magami. The movie begins with her waking up and having breakfast like a normal teenager 'till she realizes she is late for school: that's when we'll discover that she has incredible super powers, like super-sonic speed or amazing force. She will in fact arrive at school just in time taking along her best friend Shiiko Kotobuki (C-ko) who is an annoying crybaby who only thinks of having fun and cute things and that also doesn't have any powers in contrast to A-ko.

Everything will be pretty normal, except for the fact that the smart, rich and arrogant classmate Biko Daitokuji (B-ko) will start observing C-ko insistently, and we will later understand that she has a crush on her.
She will then try to take A-ko away from her, by using her mecha robots or her submitted (a trans woman who has an incredible force), however A-ko will slay all of them.

We will later discover that B-ko and A-ko have a matter to settle from 10 years ago: B-ko in fact, used to bully C-ko because she was madly in love with her, and one time A-ko will save her from her bullying. They then became really close friends never leaving each other's sides, and that will made B-ko jealous.
That's why she launched a challenge to A-ko, saying that the prize would have been C-ko, so that she coud have her all for herself.
However, the day of the challenge, A-ko will transfer and go to another school along with C-ko, so she didn't come to settle matters with B-ko.
She will never forget that, and she will always wait to see them again thinking on how to beat A-ko.

She will then decide to face her hand-to-hand with a very revealing outfit (of course made for fanservice). However A-ko, despite B-ko being very strong, will obviously beat her.

Anyway, this is only the first movie, in fact its end will show B-ko observing A-ko, making us understand that she hasn't given up yet and that it awaits us other battles between them two.

This movie is pretty stupid and has nothing of special, however I love its dumb and predictable humor.

What I like the most about this series is the art of the 80s and the music, I don't even know how many times I've listened to the soundtrack.
What I also like, is that this movie despite being old, isn't ashamed of portraiting women "less feminine" and more strong, having the capacities and super powers that male characters of the 80s animes used to have. We would always see heroines like Creamy Mami or Minky Momo, all portrayed very feminine and delicate and often helped by their love interest. However is A-ko who will save her male crush in one of the other sequels of the series.

Also even though it was mainly fanservice, it must have been pretty difficult to release a 80s anime with yuri elements, also from what I know, the studio worked a lot of years on it, so it was probably produced during the 70s.

It's not a deep movie that makes you reflect like I usually like, however I thought it was very good despite being an 80s anime. Even though I'm a big fan of Creamy Mami, I never gave to the show more than 6, so it really surprised me on how I could give an 80s anime more than 7 along with Kaze To Ki No Uta OVA or Studio Ghibli Movies.

It was really entertaining and well-made, so I recommend it for the ones who wants a good laugh or that don't know what to watch and how to spend their time, or that simply want an approach to 80s animes.

If you want an entertaining one, then this one is for you!

Thanks for reading my review, and as always, have a great time on mal! <3

"Try laughing. Then whatever scares you will surely go away!"

(WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS!)

"Tonari No Totoro" is a studio ghibli movie of the 89s, directed by Hayao Miyazaki. At the time of its release, it didn't was welll-known and neither successful, however some years later, it became a cult of Japan's anime and movies cinematography, loved by people from all the world, also being considered by Empire one of the best movies ever made.

Another thing that must be remembered, is that old studio ghibli movies were all handmade, without the use of any technology.

The plot is pretty simple: A father of two little girls, ... Satsuki and Mei, will remain for some months in the countryside to be near his wife, who is hospitalized due to a long-term illness, during a summer of the 50s. The movie will show some adorable moments of the family, like eating or taking a bath together, some fights between the two sisters or them playing with the nature. They will also have the fortune to meet some creatures of the forest, like the "susuwatari" spirits, and the kind and super sleepy "Totoro", who is also the protector of the forest. Thanks to an act of kindness of the older sister Satsuki, Totoro will feel grateful and will reward her and help her and Mei through their hard times.

I know that this movie has nothing special and I also understand that it can be boring and why some people do not like it, however, in my opinion is its semplicity that make it so special. To me, is the feeling of watching it during a night of a rainy summer or early in the morning, that makes this movie so unforgettable.

I remember I watched it for the first time in a really depressive period for me, where nothing could calm me down or make me sleep, not even medicines. However, this movie calmed me down almost istantly, it was like it was telling me that everything that afflicted me in that moment would definitely go away, and it made me feel loved and protected, just like a mother's hug. It really suprised me, and I couldn't get enough of it, so much that I re-watched it many times whenever I was depressed or simply when I wanted a bit of calm and warmth. Everytime it worked and I never got bored of it.

I also found a lot of similarities to the place I go every summer. My italian grandparents who llive in Sicily have a really similar house, surrounded by nature and animals of all kinds. I always loved going there but especially when I was a kid, I loved playing with insects who lived there, even though it was full of mosquitoes. I loved going to the vineyard that was there too, eating fresh grapes and pick up natural pine nuts from the road.
Also, there is no internet in there, and I always read and thought a lot in the house's garden. Even though I do not exactly love my grandparents, we always managed to have fun together and I always felt very calm whenever I went there, a really similar feeling I feel whenever I watch Totoro.

I also used to play a lot with my older sister when we were little, especially in that house. We would hide, make improvised stupid performances, go with the bicycle through the nature or doing tests of courage at night. One time our grandfather screamed during one of our courage's tests, and we got so scared that we screamed out loud and then laughed like crazy.
My sister do really resembles Satsuki indeed, a sweet and responsible sister that would do everything for me.

To me this movie is like a hug or a caress, and will always have a special place in my heart. It always make me remember sweet memories and calm me down, that's why I will never grow tired of it, and I will watch it even when I'll grow up.

All the details, like washing the clothes with the feets, the sweet summer rain and the mosquito nets to sleep without being bitten, are all so realistic and relaxing, and made me remember all of my beloved summers.

Thank you Miyazaki for making this movie, and thanks Totoro for all the warmth and love you gave me. Even if you're getting old, I know I would never forget you.

The capacity of studio ghibli movies of making you love the little things, even the most simple without finding them obvious and making you see their beauty, will always remain a good lesson that I'll hold deeply in my heart.

Thanks for reading my review and have a great time on mal! <3

"If there's any meaning to this life, please tell me what it is."

(WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS OF BANANA FISH AND ALSO SENSITIVE TOPICS LIKE DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE, DON'T READ IF YOU'RE SENSITIVE TO THESE TOPICS)

"Prayer X" is a song ( and also the first ending of "Banana Fish") of the japanese singer "King Gnu", released on September 19 of 2018.

The music video is very sperimental, in fact it has the genre 'dementia' and also contains themes of despair and reflections on the meaning of life.

The music video is left to the interpretation of the watcher, so it can have various meanings, however, my personal ... interpretations is this:


The protagonist of the story is a depressed young man, who cannot see any color in his life. He has a beautiful talent, he can play piano, however his talent will be used for an evil purpose: control people's mind to rule the world. We can see a lot of people who are praying, controlled by the power of his music. We can also see people forcing the young man to write new music, blackmailing him with money. The young man is then full of shame and regrets, thinking on how he destroyed his and the other people's lives. He doesn't love his passion anymore, and because of that, he cannot see any other reason to live anymore. At the end of the music video, he will be stabbed by one of the prayers who probably was faking of being mind controlled or was envious of him without seeing his sadness, however he will not die, so he will shoot himself in the head, finally leaving his cruel world behind.

This music video is obviously a metaphor that wants to portrait how society can destroy people's happiness and passions, and even lead a person to suicide. The world is too much corrupt and wrong, and that's why we should do something to stop this.

Here's the translation of the song:

If my overflowing tears shine as brightly as my life in this moment,

amidst the daily repetition of meetings and farewell,

just what am I supposed to believe in?

We were all crying aloud from the moment we were born.

Not wanting my life to be snatched away from me,

I fought for it with everything I had.

If I were to pull out the knife that has pierced my heart

in that instant, all of my tears would come gushing out,

wouldn't they?

If my overflowing tears shine as brightly as my life in this moment,

amidst the daily repetition of meetings and farewell,

just what am I supposed to believe in?


I've been hiding behind a carefree smile.

Has this lie I crafted in order to live already become real?

I don't know anymore.

I have already lost sight of the place I called "home".

Longing for and being swallowed up by daylight,

today again, you'll gaze at the sky, won't you?

If there's any meaning to this life, please tell me what it is.

Amidst the daily fleetingness,

after we've drank all of our pain and sadness,

just what are we supposed to believe in?

If my overflowing tears shine as brightly as my life in this moment,

amidst the daily repetition of meetings and farewell,

just what am I supposed to believe in?



This song also represents a lot Ash Lynx's life :

He has suffered since childhood, he suffered sexual abuse and had to kill people in order to survive, he thought 'till the end that he was just too much corrupt and damaged already to be fixed. He just lived too much despite being young, and also, because of all the suffering he had, he doesn't think he deserves any happiness, just like people with depression and that suffered an abuse usually think.

I also am a victim of an abuse, and it lead me to think I didn't deserve any happiness and that I would never be happy again. I thought that everything was my fault. Just like Ash, I've suffered an abuse that made me think life wasn't worth living, and that made me had guilt feelings and nightmares for years, not being able to enjoy anything, neither my friend,neither my passions. I couldn't see any point in leaving the bed anymore.

However, fortunately I was able to overcome it.

I could do it, but sadly, many people do not succeed in overcoming traumas, especially because they do not have any help or support, or simply because they are too tired of living.

That's why whe should do everything we can to help people with mental illness and that suffered an abuse, because they deserve happiness and love more than anyone.

If you suffered an abuse, either physical or psychological, please do not accept your situation and reach for help, because trust me it's never your fault and It's not true that you don't deserve happiness. You're a victim that needs help and understanding, and also you're much stronger than what you think.

Thanks for reading my review, and sorry for being so personal like always XD

Have a great time on mal! <3

"Is it alright even if I love you?"

(WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS AND A LOVE STORY ABOUT INCEST, TOPIC THAT COULD BE DISTURBING OR DISGUSTING FOR SOME PEOPLE, IF DON'T LIKE IT, SIMPLY IGNORE IT WITHOUT OFFENDING ME, THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING)

"Koi Kaze" is a seinen anime of 13 episodes based on the manga written by Yoshida Motoi, a manga of 35 chapters.

The story begins during Spring with the protagonist, Saeki Koushirou, a 27 years old employed man, who recently has been dumped by his girlfriend who said she was in love with another man. He then takes the train to go to his workplace, and ... he will then encounter the most beautiful cherry blossom he had ever seen, Nanoka Kohinata, a 15 years old girl who was returning from school. He will then notice she was crying, and that she has forgotten her train pass. He will eventually return it to her, and they will both feel a strong connection between them, despite being strangers with a big age difference.

Soon later, they will encounter each other again near an amusement park, and they will decide to have a sort of "date" together and talk a bit with each other. While riding a Ferris Wheel, they will both open up their heart about being recenlty rejected by their crush, surprised about how much coincidences they both shared.

Koushirou will then break down and cry to his surprise, and he will then be comforted by Nanoka. He then realizes he is very attracted to her, without knowing that Nanoka feels the same. Right after the date, Koushirou will meet his father, and he will discover that Nanokai is in fact her younger sister, but that he couldn't meet her because of their parents' divorce.

They will be both very surprised, and they will try their best to forget their romantic feelings, especially Koushirou, both because she was his sister and because she was underage, however when they will have to live under the same roof, their feelings will grow more and more.

This isn't a story for everyone, but I still think it shoud be seen by more people, to make us understand how love isn't a choice and that should be respected and understood.

One time I was searching about incest, and I found an article about a daughter and a mother who loved each other and that because of that, they both had been arrested for years and years. Despite being very open minded, I still thought it was a bit strange, however I thought to myself: They just love each other, they aren't doing any bad things to the world or other people, it is really necessary and a right thing to do to arrest them just because they were both in love with each other? Even with the same penality duration of rapists and killers?

I honestly thought it was really ridiculous, and I began to think that incest is way more normal than what we think, especially because we all come from incestuous relationships. That's why we are all here, but I understand that it is better if incestuous couples do not have kids, for the Children's health.

I really hope that one day all of us will see incestuous love like we now see homosexual love, because it really is nothing more than just LOVE.
Incestuous relationships will simply be like them, unfortunate couples who can't have kids, but that still deserves to be respected and to have their own happiness, even if it is a really peculiar one.

They don't do any bad to society, that's why we should let them be.

Fortunately, some countries like Japan have legalized incest, however many countries (My country included) still do not accept it.
I really hope we will become even more open minded than we are one day, and that incestuous people will not have to live in shame or hiding in the shadows, because they are people just like us who are in love.

Please try to respect it.

Thanks again for reading my review and have fun on mal as always! <3