Back to Nagatotoro's Profile Nagatotoro's Profile

"Deep down, I could be glad I lived."

(WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS)

"Jumyou wo Kaitotte Moratta. Ichinen ni Tsuki, Ichimanen de." is a manga of 18 chapters written by Sugaru Miaki, very short indeed, but that will still manage to stay in your heart forever, with a wonderful message that will change how you see life.

The plot is pretty simple: The protagonist, Kusunoki, is an adult unsatisfied with life who can't seem to forget his childhood friend Himeno, whom he promised to marry after he would become famous in his adulthood. However Kusunoki is very far from being a celebrity, and he in fact is ... struggling with money. One day, when he decides to sell his last material possessions, he will hear from an elderly man that a "good" method of obtaining money fast is by selling his "lifespan". He initially thinks that it was some sort of a joke, however when he will hear it again from a young man, he decides to go to the address.
He will then encounter Miyagi, who tells him that he could obtain a lot of money by selling three months of his life. So Kusunoki, who can't seem to find any reason for him to live, accepts the offer. The next day, he will encounter the same girl, who says to him that she has to keep an eye on him to make sure he wouldn't go crazy for having only three months of living.

At first they will be pretty cold to each other, especially Miyagi, and Kusunoki will waste a lot of his last days of living. However the two of them will eventually fall in love with each other, becoming really close. Kusunoki will finally understand the true beauty of life aside from being rich or famous, and thanks to her he will have the most beautiful days of his life. He didn't care if the others thought he was crazy because they couldn't see Miyagi, because all that he could see was his Happiness, which he was feeling for the first time in his life. He will in fact throw out his money, because he really didn't care about it.

I won't say the ending, however this manga is a great lesson to many people too much attached to material things or that do not understand truly life's worth.

During my reading, I really reflected a lot. I thought to myself: What would I do if I had only three months of life? Is it really worth it to sold my lifespan for some money? And If I had lost something really important like what happened to Kusunoki (I won't say what thing) would I be able to keep on living anyway without making his same choice? And How would I react if I wasn't famous or someone "important" for the world?

Honestly, like Miyagi says, is really difficult to respond to such questions if you're not exactly in that situation. Probably, in the past, if I could sold out my life, even without obtaining money by it, I would surely have done it.
However, now that I can see other things about life other than my despair and my traumas, I would surely refuse. First of all, if you lose something very important (something that happened to me so I can say it because of an experience I had) you can always replace it with another thing/person . I know that it isn't that easy, but for example, don't you admire someone who lost his family but keeps on living anyway? Won't you find that person an example to follow even more than someone who falls in despair because of it?

Also I'll tell you another thing, just because that person isn't crying anymore it doesn't mean that now is happy or that has forgotten what she/he had lost or her/his traumatic experience , but she/ he accepted what happened as a part of his/her life. Life is about losing and achieving, and most of the time, it's you who had to find the force in yourself to change your situation, it's you that has to see the other beautiful things beyond all the despair your feeling, because life isn't just that.

Also, who decided that being famous or someone important to other people make your life worth? Trust me, your life has to have worth for YOURSELF and yourself only, do not ever think that being famous will make you happy or important, because it really doesn't matter, there are a bunch of celebrities who are unhappy and that killed themselves because of their fame or because simply speaking, it wasn't the happiness they were searching for.

Also, just like slavery, a person life could never ever have a price. Life is just too precious to be something so ephemeral like some money.

You can never know what would happen in your life, it could happen something wonderful that will change you and that would make you see life for what it is, you could encounter someone that would make you glad to have lived until that moment, just like it happened with Kusunoki. He just had to wait. Even in the worst situations and in the thing it made you suffer the most, you could find something that will change you forever.

There is always a solution for your situation, you just have to believe it, to search it or to wait.

That's why I absolutely love bitter-sweet stories, even more than the tragic ones, because they are just like life is: Something difficult and unbearable, but at the same time so sweet and precious.

Please do not ever forget what this manga is trying to say, and do not give up on trying to improve your life, because believe me, life can absolutely be beautiful, even more than you could imagine.

Said that, hope you liked my review and that helped you a bit, here's a virtual hug and have fun on mal! <3

"Stop trying. Take long walks. Look at scenery. Doze off at noon. Don't even think about flying. And then, pretty soon, you'll be flying again!"

(WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS)

Kiki is a witch that has just became Thirteen the day of her birthday: This is the age when witches become independent, and also the time to transfer to another city and find a job.

So the very same day, she flies with her broom along with her faithful talking cat, Jiji, saying goodbye to her birthplace and her parents and friends: A new adventure is about to begin!

Even though it isn't said, it can be guessed ... that Kiki is very insecure: In fact, she thinks she isn't a witch to all effects because she can't do magic like other witches.

However she is really good at flying: In fact after thinking a lot about what to do resting in the dormitory of a kind baker couple who offered her a place to sleep (This is an anime, please remember to never trust strangers guys, please be aware of what happened to Colleen Stan) she decides to be a "Flying Delivery Girl".

During her first work, she will unfortunately bear with a great storm that will make her delivery pack fall in a wood. However she encounters an easy-going and kind painter girl that will help her adjust the cat-peluche (The thing she had to deliver for a birthday) and the two of them will become friends. After helping her cleaning her house, she will finally save her poor cat Jiji, who had to pretend to be a peluche in order to don't make her lose the job.

Kiki seems to finally have found her vocation and her place in the world: She loves herself more finally understanding how hard-working, responsible and how kind she is (She will give up to go to a friend's party in order to help one of her clients in need even if it wasn't a part of her job), Being in love with her work, happy to make other people happy by delivering them gifts.

However one day, something unexpected happened: She loose her flying powers, and as well her powers to understand the cat's language.
She is really sad, because no matter how hard she tried she couldn't fly anymore, so she had to pause from working (Something really rare in Japan that our master Hayao Miyazaki wanted to point out: In Japan people work way too hard, and that's why sometimes they loose inspiration and their will to work, and as well sometimes even die because of too much stress , either by suicide or cardiac arrest. Hayao Miyazaki wanted to tell us that is ok to not feel inspired all the time and that is also ok to pause from working for all the time we need, because it can actually be benefical for us and for improving our services to other people.)

During her rest time, she decides to stay at the Painter's place, learning to have fun just like people of her age do, and finally learning how to be more patient with herself without cancelling her first achievements, believing in her capacities and accepting her tiredness.

She will in fact be inspired by the Painter's speech where she said she also lost her will and capacity of painting at some point of her life, but that her passion returned all alone after some time.

Some days after, she will indeed obtain her powers back, and her life will eventually returns to normality, having fun with her life and her loved ones.

I honestly feel like this movie is an enormous and rassicurant hug, telling you that everything will be ok and to love yourself more and to accept your faults as part of your persona.

I also had a period when I didn't feel inspired by anything, because I was indeed in a bad period and I needed to rest, and this movie helped me a lot to not loose my respect for myself and to go on with my life, because I knew that everything would eventually re-acquire colors, because no situation lasts forever. It will surely happen again, but I will ready to face it thanks to what Kiki taught me.

If you ever feel depressed, uninspired or insecure, please watch this movie, it will surely help you out and relax you.
Remember to believe in yourself always, even when you do mistakes or don't give your all in something you love, because it is just a period that will be past one day. You have your worth, don't forget that ^-^

Thanks for reading my review, Have a great time on mal !<3

"I'm not alone anymore"

(WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS)

"Doukyonin wa Hiza, Tokidoki, Atama no Ue" or "My Roommate is a cat" is a Slice Of LIfe anime of 2019 based on the heart warming manga of Tunami Minatsuki.

The protagoist of the story is Subaru Mikazuki, an introverted and antisocial person who is also a well-known writer of mystery books. He, in fact, has an enormous passion for books, which he considers better pastime than people.

The story begins unfortunately with a funeral: Subaru's Family has in fact passed out in an autobus incident, in one of their usual travels, leaving Subaru all alone.

One day, when he ... visit her parent's grave thinking on the next plot of his new book, he encounters a cute female stray kitten, who will immediately eat the sashimi he initially bought as a gift for his death parents.

Subaru immediately thinks She will be of amazing help for his new book, which He decided to write it about a Cat-Criminal as a main character.
So he takes her home and from that day his world will immediately change.

At the beginning, he will think of her as a nuisance, however, when She will "save him" by giving him croquettes in one of his working deadlines, he will immediately grow fond for her and he will name her "Haru".

He finally discovers how warm and sweet can cats and people be, even more than books and of being alone: Thanks to Haru, He will ecounters a lot of different people who will change him and his hikikomori behaviour,and he'll also began to think about others instead of always about himself, learning to love and be loved and overcoming his parent's death.

However this is just Subaru point of view, because this sweet story will also tell us the point of view of our adorable Haru, with funny yet cute misunderstandings and typical behaviour of cats that will melt your heart.
It is also her first time of being an adopted cat, and she will try her best to protect him in any way possible.

This story is absolutely perfect for cats lovers and owners.

I used to have a male kitten myself, his name was "Kilin" and he was the light of my life. I saved him from a road when both of us were very young, and convinced my parents to keep him. He had an infection on his eye and he was very underfed, however we saved him by providing him food and medical cure. We were just like brothers, whe fought, had fun together and helped each other on our blue times. I remember that everytime I was sad or depressed, he will come to me and sit on my lap 'till I stopped crying.

He was also very similar to Haru: Proud, Agressive, a food-lover and prone to anger, however, he was also very sweet and caring even though he tried his best not to be too sweet, just like a tsundere.
He hated going to the vet, but he never was angry at us for taking him to it, and he was also, to our surprise, a "Panettone" Lover (An Italian Christmas sweet), we had to keep it away for him or he would have eaten everything. He also loved to bite, in fact I have a lot of scars, however I also maked sure to bite him back or tickle him. He was becoming very similar to us also, because he began to watch movies with us, and eating to our table with his paws, sometimes even trying to eat our food. He even slept hugging us.

One day unfortunately we had to travel, so we left him by one of our close friends who also had a garden to let him play. However when we returned, we discovered that he was hitted by a car, and that he couldn't pee alone anymore. We taked him to the vet everyday, even if we heared a lot from the veterinary that we should suppress him.
He seemed recovering from time to time, however one day he went out of home and never came back.

I was sure he has died, however I could feel his gratitude for saving him and keeping him alive for all that time. I could hear him saying "Thank you, you were the most wonderful family I could ever have, and I will never forget you"

Cats can really change a person's life, along with other animals. Animals are pure creatures who never do any bad to us, and that should be protected always.

I will never forget how Kilin changed me and even if he isn't alive anymore, I'm sure he will always be with me.

Thanks to him, just like Subaru did, I began to love myself more and I will always be grateful to him for that.

Thank you Kilin for changing me, I will never forget you, you were truly the best thing has ever happened to me. I'll always look ahead from now on.
Thank you for making me understand my worth.

If you ever feel sad, this anime will surely help you and inspire you, I totally reccommend it.

This was my review, dear reader thanks for reading and have a good time on mal! <3

"Why do men like so much to humiliate me?"

(WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS, ENDING INCLUDED, AND A LOT OF SENSITIVE TOPICS LIKE SEXUAL ABUSE AND SUICIDE, DON'T READ IF YOU'RE SENSITIVE TO THESE TOPICS!)

"Henshin" is an hentai manga of 2013 writed by Shindo L, even though it's not an hentai like the others, because it is like a denunciation of the typical hentai story which glorifies rape and the prostitute's world.

The protagonist of the story is Saki Yoshida, an insecure teenager girl who attend high school, who also has no friends and is isolated by her classmates. She has a sort of hate and ... envy for the other girls, because they are so much popular than her, who is a loner and still a virgin.

One day she decides to ask her mother to help her learn how to do make up and how to wear contact lenses, and she becomes incredibly beautiful.

The next day, everybody is surprised by her beauty and her change of behaviour, and she starts to attract a lot of boys and to make "friends" with her female classmates, that began to see her in a different light and will ask her to go out with them everyday.

During one of her walks, she remains alone to buy a magazine, and she encounters a young man called Hayato who starts to flirt with her, saying she seemed a model and buying her the magazine she wanted.

She remains surprised because it's the first time a guy has ever said that she was beautiful, and she accepts to go with him to a karaoke nearby.
Everything seemed to be fine and she was having fun, until the situation takes a bad way: Hayato takes advantage of her naivety and made her take drugs, raping her and filming everything with the camera.
However Saki, also because of the effect of the drugs, misinterprets the situation, thinking that what she was feeling wasn't the drug's effect but her love for Hayato.

The two of them then decides to see each other more often in love hotels, by exchanging each other's numbers.

Saki becomes more and more drug-addicted, and as the days goes by she starts losing a lot of money. During a conversation with her friends, they say that a good method to make money fast is by just having dinner with rich older men, who would give you money even if you won't have sex with them.

Saki then decides to go out with a much older man than her, to obtain more money, however he tricks her with an excuse of giving her more money to make her do sexual things, promising to not penetrate her. However he rapes her almost instantly saying that she must be glad that she is having sex because her purpose as a woman is to be a sexual object for men to use to their liking.

She obtain her money, however she was seen by some of her male classmates, who will obligate her to have sex with them in order to not divulgate her picture at school.

One day, her female classmates hear her having sex at school, and starts bullying and isolating her, calling her a "Bitch".

To make all the situation even more worse, her father began to be more and more attracted to her, and one night he rapes her with the excuse that she looked too much like her mother when she was younger.
He continues raping her everyday, until one day, when she returns from school, her mother gives her a slap on her face saying she seduced her father, not believing her says she was raped.
She is then kicked out of the house.

Years later she is completely changed: She is now a prostitute and a school drop out who has to do often abortions because of unprotected sex, and lives with Hayato, whom she still thinks he is her lover, providing him food, a place to live and drugs.
She also takes responsibility of paying Hayato's dephts, by obviously using her body. One day she doesn't returns to her and Hayato's home with a good amount of money, so Hayato, the only person who Saki thought cared for her, kicks her out of the house.

Saki is again homeless, and while she is thinking on how to fix her situation, she is raped by some tramps in a park, becoming pregnant. However instead of having an abortion, she decides to keep the baby and to change her life, saving her money by continuing being a prostitute.

One day, when she returns to her money hiding place, she encounters some of her old classmates who start beating and raping her. They then ran away stealing her money.

She is then all bleedy and in pain in a public bathroom, sure that her baby has now died. She has no hope left, thinking that nothing could ever change her situation, so, she takes all the drugs she had and kills herself by overdosing, thinking on how much beautiful her life could have been by giving her baby life.

If you lasted till here, then you are really strong minded! I don't even know myself, a so much sensitive person, how could I read this manga more than one time. I remember I cried so hard when I read it the first time.
Some men should really be ashamed.

The saddest thing is, that this is the true story of many prostitutes, who were normal girls before doing this "job", but they were forced by their unfortunate situations.

No prostitute wants to do her job, it is like paid rape.

This hentai is a masterpiece because it's a slap in the face for all the retarded men who thinks rape is sexy and that it's not that much of a big deal. Think again when you say that it is ok even if it is fiction. Rape is NEVER ok, this hentai was just representing it and not glorifing it, if you like rape, then something is wrong with your head. Read this manga and reflect on your thoughts and fantasies.

Even if it was just a story, it's something that surely happened and that will continue to happen if we don't do something.
So, stop glorifing rape for god's sake, it's like glorifing and finding sexy someone being beaten up or tortured.
This is NOT sexy, this is wrong and horrible. This is a reason why a lot of women develop PTSD, so stop joking about it.

Also, I'm not saying all men are like that, so please don't start thinking that I was generalizing because it was never my intention, think of being sad about this type of things, do not try immediately to justify or protect yourself please.

Said that, thanks again dear reader for reading my LOOONG review and have fun on mal as always! <3

"Humans are so stupid..."

(WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS REALLY SENSITIVE TOPICS, LIKE DEPRESSION AND SUICIDE, DON'T READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THESE TOPICS!)

"Ruru-chan no Jisatsu Haishin" is a song writed as a tribute to a 14 years old girl who commited suicide in a livestream, in the 24 November 2013. (Yes, It is a true story, so please be respectful) by the japanese band "Shinsei Kamattechan", the same band who sang "My War", the op of the final season of AOT.
The singer, although the song seems sung by a girl, is a male.

Rorochan_1999 was born in fact in 1999 and she was quite ... famous (especially between pedophiles) because she used to do livestreams in two japanese sites very similar to youtube, "FC2" and "NicoNico". Both of those account were both cancelled by the police, even though her twitter, with the name "rorochan_1999" is still on the platform.

She probably attended the middle school "Hachiman Junior High School" and she was the top of the class, always being the first in the graduatory of exams. She was indeed very smart, but this caused a lot of envy by his classmates, that began to isolate her, so she had no friends.

Her mother was usually absent and cold, as well his father who both ignored her, and this caused rorochan to feel very lonely and unloved.

She suffered indeed from a severe form of depression, both because of her loneliness and the school and family pressure, because in Japan at the third year of middle school you must have a score from 95 to 100,if you don't succeed, you will be considered as a disgrace from your family, and some of the children will be also beaten up.

For her internet was like a shelter from reality, where people would apprecciate her for who she was and give her warmht and love.

In some lives, she could be seen playing the piano or singing, however she was very unstable and depressed at the time, so in some lives we can hear her crying or laughing maniacally.

In some others, she avoided being hit by cars or did erotic things to please the pedophile audience.
She didn't have the help or the support of anyone, and this caused her depression to get worse and she started to develop suicidal thoughts.
She believed that by killing herself by livestream, she would become a legend and that she would never be forgotten.

So, the 24 November 2013 she leaves her room and heads to the thirteenth or fourteenth floor, in a balcony.
She probably didn't wanna do it, because she could be heard saying "I'm scared" in japanese. We must also don't forget, that some comments of the live said: "Do it, I bet you don't have the guts", or "Do it and you'll become a legend" or even comments writed by pedophiles which said:"Return to your room and masturbate"

Nobody knows if she did it accidentaly or not, but unfortunately she fell and died in a hospital three hours ago. Before she feel, we could hear her scream and a loud noise of a fall.

The saddest thing, is that some of her classmates were happy that she killed herself and they were laughing in the comments instead of being sad for what had happned.

We must never forget her story, but we also must never do what she did to become a "legend".

If you suffer from depression and suicidal thought, please reach for help. I know that life sucks, me myself suffered from depression and self harm for years and years because of an abuse I suffered, be aware that even if you didn't suffer an abuse, that doesn't make your suffering any inferior. You deserve happiness like any other human being, and deserve treatment and understanding. I am a survivor of depression and suicide attempts, and now I'm happy as ever. I still think that life sucks, but I'm completely aware of how life can be also beautiful, even with its negative things.

Remeber that there is always a solution, if I could do it, you can overcome it too. Don't give up and reach for help, and don't ever accept your condition, rebel till the end, I believe in you.

Rorochan, you was a victim of society who could have been a wonderful and useful person to our world, I'm so sorry for what you went through and you didn't deserve any of this. Rest in Peace.

Thanks for reading my review/tribute, have fun on mal! <3

"Gilbert, you were a golden harp with strings dangerously taut, you only allowed your music to resoud for those whom you permitted to touch your strings..."

(WARNING, THIS REVIEW CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS)

"Kaze To Ki No Uta" is a literary work of rare sensibility. Most of the people seeing the tag "Shounen Ai" or "Yaoi" either in mal or by searching through the internet, would immediately think of some stupid gay story only made for women to enjoy and to fetishize gay men ( even though nobody talks about how hentai fethishize women, I mean if it is for women then it immediately is something stupid and ... disgusting obviously) But moving on from this parenthesis , this manga is so important because it made an homophobic Japan of the 70s finally open one of his eyes.

There is a biographic novel ( always written by Keiko Takemiya) called "Shounen No Na Wa Gilbert" in which Keiko shares her story in trying to serializing this manga without censorship, with also the help of her colleagues, in detail. These women worked really hard for it, for years and
years, that's why I don't find it fair to immediately judging this manga by his tag, because it is much more than just a stupid boys love story, and that's why I'm not ashamed in having as a favourite manga of all time a Shounen Ai story.

The manga takes place in a Men's College in Provence (France) during the end of XIX century. The protagonist, Serge Battour, is a kind-hearted and innocent 14 years old boy, who transfers in this school with the hope of knowing more about his deceased father's past, including the reason why he married and ran away with Serge's mother, a gypsy.
Because of his skin's color, Serge was always the subject of racist prejudices, including by his only alive family relative, his emotionally abusive aunt, who never gave him any love or warmth.
However, to his surprise, he was immediately accepted in the school without any prejudices, also thanks to his father's fame, and this caused him to be very confident about the future that awaited him. His story will interwine with the one of Gilbert Cocteau, his mysterious and seductive roomate, who, despite his beauty, has the saddest and emptiest eyes of the entire school.

He will later discover that he is hated by everyone because he sells his body in exchange of favors. Neither Serge or his classmates know however, that this behaviour of his comes from years and years of suffering sexual abuse, especially by his uncle Auguste, whom he loves deeply because he thinks he's the only one who has ever loved and cared for him, even though Auguste sees him only as a sex object for his entertainment. This will make Gilbert believe that the only exchange of human warmth and love is by having sex, despite his young age.

Although the first bad impressions (Serge believed that Gilbert had a rude behaviour and Gilbert thought he was an hypocritical) the two of them will later fall in love, even though they were attracted by one another from the very beginning. They will discover they're both damaged souls that deserved love and understanding, and that they were much more than a loose and a meddlesome boy. Serge will finally open Gilbert's eyes about his wrong behaviour and about the truth of his uncle Auguste, and will teach Gilbert how to live.

However this is a tragic story, that will not end well unfortunately, but the only thing certain is that Serge and Gilbert changed each other's lives forever, and they will never forget each other.

I think I've never seen a manga so perfect like this, that talked about bullying, homophobia, emotional and phsycal abuse, and racism in such a detailed and delicate way,
I believe it will be a popular story forever despite being so old, because all the topics that were portraited are something universal and that unfortunately last until today.

This manga changed my life honestly, because it made me realize that no matter how much suffering you had or how much you thnk you are alone in this world, there is always hope and the possibility that your life will change and that somebody will accept you, and that nothing happens out of a coincidence. Gilbert finally encountered someone who saw him as a person and that could see his true beauty under his mask of promiscuity.

Neither the adults could unerstand and help their shadows, showing how sometimes children or teenagers are so much more mature than some adults.

This is my first review, sorry if it was cringy, I put my all in this because this manga means a lot to me and changed me in a lot of ways. I hope I at least convinced some people to read this masterpiece because it deserves it and it's really worthy,

Said that, dear reader thank you so much for reading my review and have fun on mal! <3