Kill Santa?
| Today I bring a moral dilemma to you. Consider the following the scenario. It's Christmas Eve and the day is about to end. You have enjoyed a good time with your two children and you're all now watching TV on a low volume as the night falls. The two are anxious to stay awake and see Santa, but you were smart and took them to multiple physical activities throughout the day, so now they're tired from playing and eating and they're half-asleep. The two end up falling asleep near the Christmas tree. It's 02:00 and you're also about to get some rest, so you get up from your armchair and start walking towards your children to take them to bed. Suddenly, you hear noise on your roof. It's a repetitive noise that seems to be approaching you and echoing through your chimney. You go check it. It can't be, right? But it is. It's Santa, the actual Santa coming down your chimney, full of powder and dirt but somehow unaffected by the lit fire. "I can't believe you actually exist", you say. But Santa doesn't seem to answer. Instead, he keeps limping towards your children while making odd gutural noises. It takes but a few seconds for your brain to notice what you're hearing from the TV, which is still on. "A new stage of the pandemic has broken out, and this mutation might be the deadliest of them all", they say, and you know what they mean. Your children are still sleeping and he's already too close. You only have a kitchen knife on the table besides you as a weapon that you were previously using to cut some panettone. Will you brutally murder Santa to protect your children? A few points to consider:
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| you can't save a person bitten by a zombie. It's not that I disrespect the children's dreams, it's that it's impossible to save Santa Claus. besides, I have a horror of zombies. I probably couldn't kill him with my current abilities, so I'd probably use some strategy to mislead him out of my house. like throwing a rock in the yard or something. assuming he turned into a zombie before climbing the chimney, I assume he is somehow a "smart" zombie. so i would probably panic and kill myself when i realize it |
 fanart credits: @yeetoldy |
| I would try to kill him, but I would probably be beaten by him and turned into a zombie in my attempt |
In this scenario you have the same amount of experience with killing people as you do now. Uh... hides SOG Seal Pup diving knife. I think I have an unfair advantage on this one chief. Still, using a kitchen knife to inflict catastrophic brain injury is kinda a tall order. Reasonably you would have to go for enough force and an eye socket. It's still too early to tell if the disease is irreversible. |
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| wtf kinda question is this. obvi yes he could infect people and we have got a zombie apocalypse on our hands. idgaf about Santa's life let him die 😈 |
| kill santa > santa kills kids I think the moral obligation can do the balance on that |
| I don't believe in Santa. Really, some fat guy that goes in people's chimneys to give "presents" while the family is probably out to some Christmas party. That sounds like a thief. |
| My Story TLDR There were a lot of things I needed explanation for. It's not a daily event after all. Proof of My Story |
| i'd try to kill santa with a kitchen knife, i guess. what's the worse that could happen, right? a zombie apocalypse? |
| I would do it just to steal all the presents |
| lol why.. i guess I'll lock him up and wait |
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| I'm pretty sure Santa can't be turned into the undead. He's an extremely powerful force of good and repels all evil vibrations from his home on the North Pole. That being said, were there a zombie Santa, I would surely destroy it. For that would be not Santa, but Satan. |
| I CELEBRATE myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you. |
| pretty sure I'd do it even if he wasn't a zombie |
Well, I can't argue with facts, now, can I? _spoon_ said: idgaf about Santa's life let him die 😈 CQLLIST said: I would do it just to steal all the presents Jenzee said: pretty sure I'd do it even if he wasn't a zombie So evil... WutIsDis said: We are hitting levels of autism previously thought impossible. Indeed, I am baffled that so many voted for killing poor Santa. xMizu_ said: That being said, were there a zombie Santa, I would surely destroy it. For that would be not Santa, but Satan. I'm in love with this post. |
| "Would you kill Santa if he turned into a zombie?" I would try to save. |
| I'd off him even if he wasn't a zombie. |
No, this isn't my signature. |
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