schizophrenia

I am no schizo but I appreciate and wholeheartedly respect SOME schizos such as you.

I don't have schizophrenia, but I wish there was a cure for it.

I somehow don't even though I was being told I did for years. Got reevaluated earlier this year, a rather expensive thing, but that psych said BPD and I guess that makes more sense to what is wrong and I was easily influenced otherwise. This only fuels my distrust with the current diagnosis too. I dunno man why I say this here other than it feels like a perfect place to declare my frustration at that previous diagnosis that caused my life to spiral out of control. In defense of the system there was drug fueled psychosis to varying degrees, that insane shroom trip at the start of 2020 really scrambled my brains entirely yeah that was fucked.

Regardless I don't like this situation but mental illness is a scam anyway. Fuck it, we're all fine we just gotta get our shit together.

I should be happy I aint a schizo but it's more guilt that I let myself be tricked into being a liar about it because I wasn't but was convinced I was but still I should've had better judgement. Sorry for having all that shit making me a cringe loser not schizo convinced they were to anyone who may have been inconvenienced with my presence.

Can you influence or control which hallucinations appear in your mind? Like, can you deliberately hallucinate about having sex for example?

I worked in the ER and unfortunately a lot of the patients that would trickle in suffered from mental illness. I would say I personally haven’t met someone with schizophrenia who isn’t requiring care with family/sitter, plus being on an anti-psychotic. I would say I admire the strength to be able to go about your day distinguishing between voices, not feeling understand and wish there was better support so those suffering didn’t feel as isolated

I have paranoia of the NSA looking for me on the Internet. Not sure if that would count as schizophrenia, however.

@DesuMaiden nah paranoia alone does not mean schizophrenia already like there is paranoid personality disorder too

Fortunately I'm not. But I know a guy who became schizo after having a psychosis from taking drugs at a trance rave. His personality somehow took a shift too. He has been on welfare for almost a decade now.

* I know what I say is gonna sound very conspiracy theory but it's unfortunately true *

I don't exactly know if my Dad & Sister were actually diagnosed with schizophrenia, as I don't think we had our side of our story listened to, but they had signs that mimicked it, but our illnesses also mimic these signs when exposed to certain things, as we were all very chemically sensitive.
Because my mother was such a thorn in the side to powerful people who wronged us medically & legally, I believe there's been a few attempts to cause us harm via chemicals. My mother's colleague was hospitalised from a strange something when in a meeting, my mother was also affected by it. We had a strange powder applied to the door handle of our house in Wales, where my mother primarily lived. Anyone who touched the handle got sick, even my eldest sister and her husband, and they weren't affected by our main poisoning illness and sensitivities. Also at our main home in my hometown, we had a guy we didn't know who was just wiping down the front of our house.
My mother sort of connected all these things to those against us, but I don't know...

Anyway...

It's very sad, both my sis & Dad had random moments where they just became so different and quite violent and uncontrollable.
My Dad actually grabbed some scissors and threatened us with them, and we had to barricade ourselves in my room until Police came.
My sister's first episodes had her dislocating her jaw a few times, and she also jumped out of her 2nd floor window, as voices in her head told her to steal something from a grocery store (she later told us).

They both were sectioned about 3 times I think? each time my sister came out, she seemed to regress more upon each release, and I'm genuinely shocked they let her out. They were never quite so violent again, but they weren't themselves either.
My Dad when he first came out was basically a zombie, later basically becoming an adult baby, he could eat, watch TV and sleep, that was it.
My sister now barely remembers us and thinks we're strangers. She keeps phoning everyone up trying to figure out who they are.

I don't think their care was the best, especially concerning our illnesses, as we have our own places to go to, but we weren't believed, mainly probably because the cover-up we're involved in altered our medical records, and they were just dealt with normally.
My Dad had 30+ ECTs against our wishes, but they did it anyway. Both of them were on meds way too long, and too high a dose that also gave them side effects. My Dad's gut in particular was absolutely wrecked and he found it difficult to keep food down.
Drugs seem to numb the problem to make them easier for others to deal with, wish there was a proper cure.

I guess my main problem is OCD. Not a very pleasant thing either.

Most schizophrenics are not aggressive, and are more likely to be victims of violence rather than perpetrators. Media coverage, especially movies, portrayed schizophrenic characters as criminal, dangerous, violent, unpredictable, suicidal, and depicted delusions and hallucinations as the main symptoms of schizophrenic characters, ignoring other common symptoms. People with schizophrenia are commonly exploited and victimized by crime as part of a broader dynamic of social exclusion. People diagnosed with schizophrenia are also subject to forced medication, seclusion, and restraint at high rates.

@fleurbleue here we do not have welfare since its still a poor country

@deg What will be your options the day you won't be able to live with your parents anymore?

@fleurbleue either taken care by my relatives or my brother and i go homeless

@deg Wow you say it pretty casually but that actually seems like a terribly anxiety-provoking situation. I really hope you can get assistance from relatives, because living your old age in the streets, left to beg to survive and with no medical attention at such an age seems like nightmare fuel to me.

Yeah I have it too. Almost completely lost myself to it when we had an uninvited guest yesterday. (my piece of shit retarded mental aunt who's obsessed with me)
Also, I know I'm being gang stalked, by my own fucking relatives even. That's not even my schizophrenia it's just a sad reality I have to deal with constantly. I seriously hope all of them including my parents and sister get fried in hell.

@LenRea did you get clinically diagnose? do you take maintenance meds?

@deg
the completely deranged schizos can be hard to reason with. Though I love me some Francis E Dec...